[Closed] Dating in your 30s are only mad ones single?

Arrogance is an issue, but so is insecurity. Generally the more you get to know someone, either through friendship or a relationship, the more you come to understand how petrified many people are behind the normal "I'm fine" behavior.
The problem is that people are invisible. You never know what someone is feeling or thinking. And online dating just tends to be a showroom where people put themselves on display, polished and often available for a test run.

If I'm single in the future I'm just going to live my life, enjoy it and not worry about the conventions of society and what it expects. Post- first child everyone told me we had to have a second, various explanations why but it seems like a social conformity exercise.

So we stayed with one. What made us happy. Not two kids- no longer having regular sex or going out etc.

Why do people feel so bloody lonely? Arent you happy with yourself? I love my own company - love rides on my own and most of the days oit.

Why do people feel so bloody lonely? Arent you happy with yourself?

Humans need company, of that I'm sure. But whether they need a romantic relationship, depends on the person. I would go crazy without seeing some friends down the pub once a week, but I can live without a romantic relationship fairly easily.

Then again, someone once said, "It is not good for man to be alone."

Why do people feel so bloody lonely? Arent you happy with yourself? I love my own company - love rides on my own and most of the days oit.

@Solo 'A girl can dream, can't she?'

I know i could never live with another person, let alone marry someone (there'd be armed police on the street before bedtime) I have far to many issues to do anything long term (more than a week).
Sometime i wouldn't mind going for a ride, kebab and a game of pat-o-cake with someone

[quote=hora ]Why do people feel so bloody lonely? Arent you happy with yourself? I love my own company - love rides on my own and most of the days oit.

That is easy to say when you have the option and you're not on your own the whole time.

[i]hora - Member

Why do people feel so bloody lonely? Arent you happy with yourself? I love my own company[/i]

Come on Hora. You know it takes all sorts, even you would be among the first to admit the world is a better place because we're not all the same.

[i]badnewz - Member

But whether they need a romantic relationship, depends on the person[/i]

Exactly, just as Hora is apparently happy with his own company, equally there will be those who are burdened with a need to care for someone special, to them.

It's a fuuny'ole game, both Men and Women looking for someone.
I've had 13 months out of the dating game. I just became so disillusioned about the entire OD scene, that I just walked away.

I'm mid 40s and my "read" is that the few eligible Women my age or slightly younger aren't interested in Men my age, but instead chase lads in their late 20s to late 30s. I'm on the shelf in my mid 40s 😆
That's how cut-throat the dating game has become, imo.
😀

As for [i]crazies[/i], obviously neither side of the gender divide has a monopoly on that front. It's just that I think Men and Women do crazy in different ways.

[i]mrsfry - Member

@Solo 'A girl can dream, can't she?'[/i]

Ah! optimism, good for you.
🙂

[i]aracer - Member

That is easy to say when you have the option and you're not on your own the whole time. [/i]

Yeap, I get this from married guys when this topic arises in the office. They eulogize about how great their life would be if they were single again, how they're more than happy in their own company and what they'd do, if they had their time again.
These remarks are quickly "balanced out" with claims of how much they love their children and wouldn't swap them for the world, etc, etc.

Of course, the contradiction is glaringly obvious, so I just listen and politely portray an image of my paying attention to their verbal ramblings. Coffee breaks in the office could be worse.
😆

I just want to meet a person with independent thought, good hygiene and not a idiot.

[i] mrsfry - Member
I just want to meet a person with independent thought, good hygiene and not a idiot.[/i]

Oh, now the list is growing. A few pages back, I thought the general consensus was all a Man needed to get the ladeez, was to be a good dancer 😆

I just want to meet a person with independent thought, good hygiene and not a idiot.

Wait, I've got it!

It's one of those pick two things again? Or maybe pick one + dance

As a 44yr old that is currently staying with parents and can't dance, I may be a lost cause

Aracer you could also argue that it's continual work keeping a happy relationship when people naturally evolve and change over time.

Sometimes it's easier to let it go/give up.

But looking at some girls I've bumped into over the years she's definitely not as hard work, batshit mental or one of those females who suddenly start to regress (want to find that 18,yr old inside themselves again and start going drink/having some sort of crisis in their late 30's that I've observed in some).

My bestmate brothers marriage broke up. He found a great girl on line- then after a short while she said 'do you mind if I also date others but we still see each other'? She had had her head turned by all the male interest online.
In the old days she's know she as a slapper but now they thinks its 'the norm'? And blame it on the dating site phenomenon. Again change the name from 'dating sites' to 'casual sex finder' and they'd bloody get a grip and stop being a total slapper.

Just be yourselves.

And blame it on the dating site phenomenon

This has got even worse with Tinder, which is putting all the other dating sites out of business.

There is no dating scene now, just hookup culture.

MGTOW FTW

Nah - Sounds like yous are doing it all wrong. You have to be just as patient and discerning online as offline. There is an element of just finding sex for some but that happened about 3 million years ago too. Being a "Slapper" is the norm for confident sexual women these days. Guys have been doing that with cultural endorsement for years. Nothing wrong with the ladies doing it as well and keeping options open. The label is just different.

He found a great girl on line- then after a short while she said 'do you mind if I also date others but we still see each other'?

Why does that necessarily make her a slapper? If she's being open and honest about it he can either decide to live with it or not.

Yikes it sounds terrifying!

18 months ago mrs_d found a lump in her breast. During treatment she said to me "if this is it, promise me you'll find someone else"
I said yes but never meant it. I think I'd be doing what Iron Maiden suggested, and Run To The Hills

She's through the treatment now & prognosis is good so thankfully I won't have to take her up on that just yet. But again, reading this, RTTH sounds like a good idea

So a bloke boasting he's slept with X number of girls a week is seen as what by society? Jack the Lad, an uncultured Boar, or an deeply insecure man?

Every nymphomaniac/oversexed person that I've meant had hangups, insecurities and issues that overode their personality.

Slappers- look the term up Grum. I don't want to derrail the topic so I'll leave this here thanks.

I'm mid 40s and my "read" is that the few eligible Women my age or slightly younger aren't interested in Men my age, but instead chase lads in their late 20s to late 30s. I'm on the shelf in my mid 40s
That's how cut-throat the dating game has become,

47 here, done plenty dating and there are OK women out there in their 30s content with guys our age IME.

Every [s]nymphomaniac/oversexed[/s] person that I've meant had hangups, insecurities and issues.

I know what you're getting at and it's not necessarily healthy but also not necessarily wrong either.

hora - Member
My bestmate brothers marriage broke up. He found a great girl on line- then after a short while she said 'do you mind if I also date others but we still see each other'? She had had her head turned by all the male interest online.
In the old days she's know she as a slapper but now they thinks its 'the norm'? And blame it on the dating site phenomenon. Again change the name from 'dating sites' to 'casual sex finder' and they'd bloody get a grip and stop being a total slapper.

Just be yourselves.

Do they actually check for STD? I mean it's a "Russian roulette" they are playing are they not?

Mixing different fluid etc ... how about hepatitis?

I think they should present a cert of some sort like pron stars but then even pron stars get STD from time to time.

😯

Some scary stories here...

I met a lady on Tinder recently who is late 30s, single, no kids, fit, has just bought a nice Trek carbon road bike and so far seems sane. What is she hiding?

What is she hiding?

Does she have a lot of patio stones on a pallet

I met a lady on Tinder recently who is late 30s, single, no kids, fit, has just bought a nice Trek carbon road bike and so far seems sane. What is she hiding?

[img] /revision/latest?cb=20150523170436[/img]

maybe nothing, but you might want to get a vaseectomy ASAP 😉

I'm so glad I'm married and not dating.
I'd be absolutely useless and have the utmost respect for anyone that can read the signs and actually do something about it.

The thing I find is the teeny pool of availability, I'm sure dating sites work in the larger cities, but in darkest west Yorkshire, its not like there are massive amounts of eligible folk

Resigned to being single TBH

Leeds isn't a "larger city"? How dark is your part of god's own county?

I went through this four years ago. Sadly, most of them were mad. There was the one who told me she loved me on the second date. There was one who sent me roses. There was the one who invited me to hers for coffee and started unbuttoning my clothes as soon as I hung my coat up. (That was a good date but definitely not a keeper) There was the the non smoking, no kids, civil servant who answered the door with a child in her arms, cigarette in one hand and being a civil servant actually meant she answered the phone for the council on Wednesday afternoons.
There was the girl with the full length prosthetic leg that let me find out about the hard way......

But despite all that. I found one. Fit, sane single. Been together for three years, getting married next September and are due to have a baby today!

But despite all that. I found one. Fit, sane single. Been together for three years, getting married next September and are due to have a baby today!

FANTASTIC !

So glad I checked back on the thread. Good luck and keep us updated.