[Closed] Dating conundrum

it's a date, you're not proposing marriage.

You can't expect her to be faithful before you've even met up.

She was very attractive (no photos) if that helps

Yes, that does help, but a picture would fill in the gaps.

Depends on whether you are looking for a relationship or fun.

The online dating splits in tow views

1. Date loads pick your favourite

2. See/chat with one at a time

I am firmly in the later camp.
If she was all over him then you probably have your answer

10 posts till hora says sloppy seconds.

You can't expect her to be faithful before you've even met up

Yes. You're both doing online dating and will/should be meeting up with different people at the same time. If this isn't something that you can accept then I doubt you'll do very well with online dating.

From your username, you know what to do....

On the plus side, you appear to have comparable tastes in places to eat/drink

Go, nowt to lose, although you're going in with slightly clouded opinions clearly.

Sure she's not dating different guys every night... and no clouded opinions.

And I know what I'll be doing this evening; just curious what the rest of you would do in my situation...

She went out and had a good time, before she was due to meet you...seems fine to me!

I'd be more worried about meeting someone who sat by the phone day and night waiting for someone (anyone) to text.

If it was me I wouldn't have a problem going on the date, but I can see why you're concerned (you don't know her and worried that she might be a bit...promiscuous? Or that she's juggling guys?). Either way, you'll be able to work that out quite quickly when/if you start seeing her, if it's something that bothers you.

[i]She was obviously fairly drunk and all over a [s]nother[/s] guy[/i]

If this is what you want to happen to you.. go for it!

Pump it & Bounce!

J

Dulux. Back door.

Wouldn't bother me, but unless the date is a spectacular sucess I'd not be expecting a follow up.

On the plus side, you appear to have comparable tastes in places to eat/drink

How did you work out that she was the girl, pray tell?

How did you work out that she was the girl, pray tell?

[url= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Photograph ]Superhuman detective skills?[/url]

I presume you are looking for a life partner or someone you may spend time with or fall for?

You've not made that much of an impression on her thus far. I'd personally spend my Friday night doing something else.

Bloke from work- massive crush on her- nothing in it - cant remember.

Thats got a car wreck parked allover it. Thank goodness I don't have to be on the dating scene, plenty of dicks out there but also plenty of girls who love the attention.

Worsecase she could be having an on-off work relationship thats constant, bestcase she is single so shes not taken until shes taken.

If you went on your date tonight and pulled....you might be stirring porridge

Personally I'd be steering clear of anyone who drinks themselves into amnesia.

[i]She was very attractive [/i]

What's she like now?

Personally I'd be steering clear of anyone who drinks themselves into amnesia.

Perhaps she was just embarrassed that she hadn't recognised the OP and was quite clearly flirting with another guy...so said she doesn't remember anything as an excuse?

Rockplough - Member

Personally I'd be steering clear of anyone who drinks themselves into amnesia.

well yeah, but only after you've had a go.

P.S. No means no.

So... hive mind of STW... Do I still go on the date tonight?

wash the bedsheets & make the house presentable.
have a shave, slap on some brut and take a trip to chemist on the way, Your lucks in tonight fella!

Just make sure you dont go down on her 😯

I've yet to meet anyone via my online dating sessions who hasn't got issues of varying degrees. I've had a few who spend a while messaging me, we appear to be getting on fine, have a lot in common etc then they just delete their account and vanish for good.

Women in online dating get a zillion offers and play the field,if you can hack that then have fun,if not then online dating isn't for you.

[i]Women in online dating get a zillion offers and play the field[/i]

Yeah, women! All the same!

For me, who would be looking for a longer term relationship rather than a one night stand, I'd go on the date unless I'd already decided she wasn't for me. The first date is to meet up and see how you get on, you just got an early taster of the reality.

this is why i stick to Grindr

Wow - perhaps you are overthinking it tiny little bit ?

Women in online dating get a zillion offers and play the field

That's the idea I think, both parties will be the same.

then they just delete their account and vanish for good.

She found someone, it wasn't you. On to the next.

[i]we appear to be getting on fine, have a lot in common etc then they just delete their account and vanish for good.[/i]

lol 😉

Women in online dating get a zillion offers and play the field

This was a very interesting article a while back giving a bit of an insight into the world of online dating: [url= http://www.wired.com/2014/01/how-to-hack-okcupid/all/ ]Wired- How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love[/url]

Get in there with eyes open, have fun and see where it goes 🙂

Cheers, Rich

Hmm, an interesting array of responses!

I've got no reason to think that she's with a different guy every night (and equally she may very well be doing exactly that).
Just a single person doing what (some) single people do, I guess.

I already knew what I was going to do tonight when I first posted. Just curious what the rest of you would do.

@Rockhopper - it's not just the women that have issues... everyone has baggage; you just need to find someone whose you can accept and help them unpack (and they the same with you)

Texts this morning confirm she doesn't even remember me, or much about last night. And the guy was just a guy from work who declared a massive crush on her; nothing in it.

TBH you probably shouldn't have quizzed her about it - your viewpoint should be that any previous dates she or you have been on are warmups for the main event and that you should rise above it.

go on the date but don't talk about it, otherwise you'll end up crashing and burning - the comments about 'I don't remember it' are code for 'I don't want to discuss it with you'

also ignore the daft comments about getting lucky - don't try and jump her, it's a first date so regardless of what you may think you know, treat it like any other first date.

She was very attractive (no photos) if that helps.

True but remember how she acted with just a friend who she was letting down

[i] help them unpack[/i]

Now you've got the idea 😉

treat it like any other first date.

In like Flynn in case there isn't a 2nd?

Women in online dating get a zillion offers and play the field

No women get messaged by the desperate, the blanket messagers, the married-players and those playing the numbers game (see blanket messagers).

Girl I know had messages from 30blokes within the day she logged on.

This leads them to either having their heads turned thinking they are special but in reality it seems alot more men use dating sites than women?

A couple of friends are on Tinder, which you can criticise all you like for being 'shallow', it gives just as much oppertunity to read the text as any other site. But does have the USP of you have to 'like' the person (and they reciprocate without knowing if you've alreayd said yes/no) before they can message you, still doesnt filter out the oddballs.

I've yet to meet anyone via my online dating sessions who hasn't got issues of varying degrees. I've had a few who spend a while messaging me, we appear to be getting on fine, have a lot in common etc then they just delete their account and vanish for good.

More likely one of two things, 1) they found someone they liked, doesn't mean they were objectively a better person than you, just they got on with them better, if you can't deal with that then they're not the one with the issues. 2) if you think girls on dating sites have issues you should see what they see of blokes! To paraphrase one of my friends, she'd have met anyone for a date that wasn't posing with a sedated tiger, married or had nothing to talk about other than [i]Dulux. Back door. [/i] She didn't meet anyone.

My GF described me as 'the only person who sent me a message who didn't seem to be a complete weirdo'

I'm such a catch.

To paraphrase one of my friends, she'd have met anyone for a date that wasn't posing with a sedated tiger, [b]married[/b]

A good friend of ours met a few players (aka married men). She went down the emotional path with a couple before she realised they were married/longterm. A few others broke off because they were commitment-phobes 'werent ready' (which can also cynical mean - I dont like you but dont want to hurt your feelings or..... 'I'm a player/I got what I wanted now I'm bored/want a new bird'....)

Just as some people can complain girls can be odd-balls I do think alot of blokes (in general) need an ego-boost, need to feel they are virile etc so play the field to please their fragile ego.

My GF described me as 'the only person who sent me a message who didn't seem to be a complete weirdo'

I'm such a catch.

Same here, although seeing as our pretence was that she was a 5'5 Janet Jackson lookalike (she's 5'3 and is a bit more Lauryn Hill but I'm not complaining) and I was a 14st Kent league muscular rugby player (I'd just retired and was busy making use of the sofa, and beer fridge with my new found spare time) I'm prepared to forgive her judgement.

we've been together for 16 years, married for 8 and have two kids. Go for it op, it may be a couple of nights of fun or a whole new start to life, but you'll never know if you don't go.

Edit - congrats Hora, you manage to be patient for 3 more posts that predicted.

My GF described me as 'the only person who sent me a message who didn't seem to be a complete weirdo'

Bit of a running theme it seems. I have of course now thoroughly disabused her of this foolish notion and confirmed that I am in fact a bit of weirdo, but in a good way.

and I was a 14st Kent league muscular rugby player

How tall are you? I'm 6ft1 and almost 16 stone and Im not fat or muscular. 😐 More sturdy built.

My profile would read "sturdily built, keen stalker seeks kooky-queen to share my passion for Dulux colour swatches".

Hora:

pretence

Although in reality I wasn't carrying much fat, am of standard build but I was just under 14st and appeared more muscled than I am now. A lot of that has vanished to middle age and cycling as I'm now 11st 12. 5'11 and 3/4 btw.

My profile would read "sturdily built, keen stalker seeks kooky-queen to share my passion for Dulux colour swatches until its time for a new one, about 2 weeks fwiw".

ftfy 😉

[i]How tall are you? I'm 6ft1 and almost 16 stone and Im not fat or muscular. More sturdy built.[/i]
😆
Do you like cosy nights in with a DVD?

Definitely, without a doubt, go on the date.

So what she was having a good time, she may even be out playing the field. She may even think you could just be a 'good time bit of fun Mr Right Now'....but....she may turn up on the date expecting nothing, and fall right head over heels for you and find you are Mr Right (and she may be Ms Right).

Life's short. You just never know what's going to happen. She may be nothing like you expect, in a good way.

DezB yes, also lounging in coffee shops, short country dog walks, pub lunches and beach holidays abroad. 8)

Can we all agree to give OP the silent treatment until we get a photo?

Well as long as shes not a nightworker OP.

This other blokes was a work colleague and not a customer... right? 😀

@sandwicheater trust me, you don't want any photos of me... and I'd definitely be batting above my average with this particular lady

@hora she does work in "drilling" but I'm led to believe it's to do with oil and gas wells, rather than what you're talking about. 😯

we'll need an update in the morning please Op, preferably with a pillow picture of said date fast asleep next to you winking.

Please tell me you spelt that correctly..
😯

Love dating threads. I can't call any females slags etc as I was prolific when I was single 😀 - a sort of he'whore.

OP just go for it ... report back later.

😀

Yes, that does help, but a picture would fill in the gaps.

+1!

Otherwise, go for it. Sounds like it could be some short-term fun. Keep options open - if nothing happens, that's what happens; if you get a few fun dates then that's all good; if she's the love of your life, delete your profile and get married.

Whatever happens, a report back here tomorrow is expected. 😉

I can't call any females slags etc as I was prolific when I was single - a sort of he'whore.

Browsing multiple porn sites simultaneously doesn't actually make you prolific in that sense Hora 🙂

Browsing multiple porn sites simultaneously doesn't actually make you prolific in that sense Hora

Possibly ambidextrous and nimble-fingered though. 🙂

[i]he'whore.[/i]

I love it when they make donkey noises

[url= http://metro.co.uk/2015/02/27/****band-is-first-gadget-that-harnesses-the-energy-of-masturbation-5081633/ ]Hora helps to power the national grid[/url]

Love dating threads. I can't call any females slags etc as I was prolific when I was single - a sort of he'whore.

[img] ?1348884713[/img]

Possibly ambidextrous and nimble-fingered though.

Or just plain old knackered if you're off work sick 😯

OP- get her slammed otherwise someone else will tonight (and tomorrow).

Can you block-book her? 😀

Can you block-book her?

ffs, is this another escort girl?!

Have you got something better to do tonight? If you have great, if not then it's just a date and might be a fun evening, treat it as no more than that.

lolz @ he'whore/donkey gag

/high fives DezB

Yes go for it. If she's single and dating, its perfectly okay for her to be drunk with another guy all over her imo. Not the end of the world, just sounds like she's out to have some fun. Its just a date, what can go wrong.

Whatever happens, a report back here tomorrow is expected.

Indeed! 😉

Or just plain old knackered if you're off work sick

😆

[quote=hora dijo]Love dating threads. I can't call any females slags etc as I was prolific when I was single - a sort of he'whore.

Haven;t you been with your (current) missus since you were 14 or somehting?

Internet dating is a funny thing to be fair.

I've had a few dates with a lass and been messaging for a couple of weeks now. All seems to be going well I think.

She came round for dinner last night and gave her a lift to work this morning (boomchicawowow!).

Queue a few hours later a txt commenting on all the questions from her colleagues about the flowers just been delivered to her at work...

"Erm, what flowers...?" Says I

Awkward.

Heh.

"Erm, what flowers...?" Says I

FAIL.

"drunk". No.

Haven;t you been with your (current) missus since you were 14 or somehting?

Next you will be saying dont trust him on bike frame sizes.

"Since" he was 14? How old is Hora?

I would give it a go and go on the date and see how it goes.
No point second guessing so go in with open mind and see what happens.

Glad I don't have to play that game any more, good luck.

There are idiots, weirdos, sex pest and psychos on both side and the work is sorting through the crap and finding the genuine ones

Not up yet then?

Must have been a good night! Up to one's nuts in guts.. ; )