[Closed] Confidence (on & off the bike)

I think you will find the reason that most on here are confident and self assured is because they are safely hidden behind a computer screen.

Regarding your issues, find something that scares you a little (not dangerous but that psyches you out) and keep having a go at it. It worked for me anyway

How come you lot are all so damn confident and self assured, where does it all come from

alcohol. Shitloads of alcohol
👿

Not sure I've got any words of wisdom, but I do know where you're coming from. I made the move to clipless recently and was getting on great (on easy-peasy stuff) until I got cocky and tried the Marin in North Wales. Total failure and cop-out on the bumpy single-track.

Yes, it knocks your confidence, but I think the essence is to say you tried (where others may not have bothered in the first place). The red at Llandegla has some tricky bits for me too, and yes, it is practice. Everyone's different and it's important to set your own goals by your own standards rather than comparing yourself to different people with a different (not necessarily better) skill-set.

Sorry to hear you are feeling down like this but you really can't let one bad ride knock you too hard. Sure, it's annoying and frustrating but it was just a bad day in the office and probably nothing more. Could it have been nerves? Peer pressure (inadvertent or otherwise)?

Whatever it was is likely to be just a glitch, what makes the difference IMHO is how you respond. Get back to what you know, get comfortable again and when you feel ready start to tackle something new. I bounced off a trampoline and into a concrete wall when I was little. Best thing I did (when I was encouraged) was to get back on the trampoline and have another go. Don't let one bad day put you off, I suspect you'll live to regret it...

If in doubt, flat out...

I'm confident in some things, so I have learned to choose my battles. I suppose I like to problem solve and work things out, so when my insecurity asks myself questions I can analyse things and come up with an answer.

As for the bike - don't worry about that! I've had so many crises of confidence on the bike I've lost count! Just keep riding and it'll come back - it has no choice 🙂

loulou.............just be yourself.
**** all the shyte on here, it is just the internet remember.
have fun, do what you want to do, do not let anyone else talk you into something you do not want to do.

and this is coming from someone who is 100% the same in real life as he is on the forum.

How come you lot are all so damn confident and self assured, where does it all come from?

I'm sorry to read you are struggling. Remember your original post and your enthusiasm and the obstacles you were determined to overcome.

I'm certainly not confident and self-assured. However, what I do (a lot) is ride by myself and take the pressure off. It means I can really concentrate, session bits if I want to, no worries about holding up folk and, most important, [b]enjoy[/b] riding a bike.

One thing I would suggest is a skills session. Not sure what area you live in but can heartily recommend jedi of UK Bike Skills.

Do things that make you feel good about yourself, optimism rules! Praise yourself when you make it down a trail, instead of beating yourself up that you could have been quicker/technically better etc etc.

You're getting out on a bike. Many people don't. They don't know what they are missing out on. You can do something that they can not.

Try riding by yourself, it's really OK!

As for being confident and self assured, well, I have a huge amount of self-belief coupled with optimism but with self-deprecation too!

You have one life, enjoy it and good luck. 🙂

Get some coaching to enable you to get the basics right. Do that and you will be a better rider than your mates in no time.

If your sounds like your a little depressed, hopefully it will pass and riding the bike (even if it's a pootle in the woods) will help.
Don't take Stoner's advice and drink, it may feel good at the time but you'll feel worse the next day.
If it helps a swing from massive doubt to huge confidence quite regular - I just know how to cope with it after years of experience.

No you're not the only one.

Sometimes my mojo disappears for a week or so. Sometimes it comes back because I've decided to operate "within myself" for a bit, sometimes because I push myself.

It's not only with bikes. In personal relationships you can try to listen how you're coming across and calm it down a bit - but sometimes listening to yourself shows you're no longer displaying the characteristics that make people enjoy your company.

Try doing a few things that make you feel good about yourself. Set yourself some S.M.A.R.T objectives and make sure you achieve them.

There are plenty of folk on the forum wishing you well.

Specific

* Well defined
* Clear to anyone that has a basic knowledge of the project

Measurable

* Know if the goal is obtainable and how far away completion is
* Know when it has been achieved

Agreed Upon

* Agreement with all the stakeholders what the goals should be

Realistic

* Within the availability of resources, knowledge and time

Time Based

* Enough time to achieve the goal
* Not too much time, which can affect project performance

House. 🙄

Don't put yourself down, like C_G says, you are getting out on your bike.

Drop me an email about the routes I sent, I am happy to ride one of them with you.

I have ups and downs, two weeks riding in Scotland mean I am on an up MTB wise but I have lost confidence on my road bike. I keep deleting what I type but I think I am trying to say we all have ups and downs and trying something different, riding in a new place or riding with someone new or on your own even can help change things. It will come back 🙂

alcohol. Shitloads of alcohol

it's not alcohol with me. I just know I can ride some stuff most of the time 🙂

I'm having similar problems although I've never had great self confidence off the bike. Its actually getting better the more I ride, in part because I'm meeting new people all the time and mostly because I'm losing weight!

Had a couple of big falls about a month ago which really knocked my confidence on the bike. Beforehand I was hitting all the bigger jumps at my local without any problem. Now I will do the smaller ones but big ones scare the shit out of me. For me whats working is just building back up slowly - just about ready to start doing the bigger ones again. Oh and pad up, it helps the confidence no end! Riding by yourself is good as well, I actually prefer it as I don't feel so stupid if I fall off and there's no one there to see it 😆

First walk the sections which trouble/scare you and see how much smaller/easier they really are. Repeat until you are at ease then ride the section - you will have removed the unknown and much of the tense/nervous distractions.

Being on foot makes spotting clean lines etc much easier especially if you approach it as if you were on a bike.

Oh and look ahead not down - I had many a frustrating ride until this was pointed out to me (skills day).

I'm going to suggest that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with riding. Try taking walks instead of riding and give yourself time to reflect on what's going on. Think of it in terms of your general self, not just the experiences you're having on the bike.

jimmyshand - Member
House

oh, yeah, confidence...
I ride what I want and I walk what I don't want to ride. I suppose I'd like to be better, but CBA to learn. I also can't ride anything at all tricky when I'm tired, say in the middle of a fastish ride. SO what ?

Sounds glib, but it [b][i]is[/i][/b] only riding bikes, for fun

[url= http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/would-this-be-contrary-to-the-sexual-discrimination-act-1975-not-ot ]THIS [/url] is what you need and a serious dose of WTFU'ing 😉

confidence is an easy fix.

:O)
Thank you. Firstly, it helps enormously to know I'm not the only one who wibbles a bit. I wish I'd said something earlier now, it's been a week and half since I road off road and that's too long.
Concensus seems to be, find something manageable but a little bit challenging, walk it, think about it, ride it, then ride it again and again.
I also think riding home from work again is a good idea, it's not challenging technically but it is fitness wise and I'm alone and yeah, I need to find my own peace again. I'm stressing about ridiculous things. Biking no matter what type it is should take that away.
It's weird. I've noticed recently that once you focus on one negative thing, it's really easy to slide into focusing on all the negative and none of the positive at all. So kicking myself every time I think negatively and trying to switch focus onto something positive might work too.
Awesome advice guys, seriously. It's so easy to get in a complete muddle.

As the others have said Lou... get yourself booked on a skills course. Maybe go with the other half or Ed at Great Rock does women specific courses. I'll send you his link of Facebook.

[i]Concensus seems to be, find something manageable but a little bit challenging, walk it, think about it, ride it, then ride it again and again.[/i]

Or try something a bit different, like skip a trail centre (where the emphasis is on trying to stretch the skills of the rider), and plan a ride in the countryside, where the emphasis is on enjoying the views rather than pressure of if you should be able to ride a specific section.

jedi - Member
confidence is an easy fix.

Posted 8 hours ago # Report-Post

First hand experience says he is definitely right!

Confidence in yourself doesn't just have to come from riding more technical trais though, ride a bigger hill, ride further, do something new that gives you the sense of achievement.... confidence will follow.

are you sure there arent any other factors in your life affecting you ?

Its hard to ride if your depressed or have something at the back of your mind all day.

Bike skills course for definate.

Jadi comes well recommended and there are others out there. Come to the Big Bike Bash for a chance to win a skills course with Jedi.

Have you crashed badly recently?

I've had a few crashes for no known reason and TBH, it's meant I'm pretty timid downhill - fast enough to keep up with most riders but anyone remotely quick will leave me wobbling down the hill. Yet uphill and on the flat, not many can keep up. It's older age and self preservation I reckon and I just accept it - a bad injury would have massive implications so I'd rather just avoid it and accept it - love DHing but just not quick at all - in the wet it's even worse.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm pretty sh*t at riding a bike on anything technical.

I can ride up hill all day but show me a log that needs clearing and I switch to 'mince'.

tbh, I just work with it and make sure I'm at the back on group rides so that I can take my own time on stuff.

I agree with c_g - riding on your own helps as you can go back and try stuff. Riding with a group will tend to push you to try stuff you think is beyond you though so you can end up surprising yourself.

if you have the time and money I think a skills day would help (I think it would help me but have never got arounsd to doing one).

I had a big crash last October, separated my A/C joint in left shoulder, missed 2-3 months riding and felt generally miserable. Everytime I rode my usual bike (a Blur, the one I crashed on), it felt like it had 50p-shaped wheels. Really just couldn't find a rhythm at all and I had no confidence descending.

So I rebuilt my Chameleon hoping to refine my technique on more techy stuff until my bottle came back, and I immediately felt completely confident desending, to the point that my riding buddies say I descend faster on the hardtail than I did on the full suss!

No idea what the reasoning is: maybe the Blur had become too 'second nature' and riding something slightly different made me think a bit more; maybe the rigid frame instills more confidence due to the amount of trail feedback; or maybe simply the action of 'making a change' was enough to banish the demons.

All I know is I've got my mojo back, and I've not ridden the Blur since! Hope you get back to your old self...

Sounds like you have overhigh expectations of yourself. No-one is as confident or self-assured on the outside as they are on the inside IME.

Re bike confidence - invest in a day or 2 skills training and then go off and practice what you've learnt. It'll give you a more positive way to look at your riding as well as lead to material improvements in yr riding.

Re your personal confidence - you sound rather depressed to me. You might want to think about a self help book or go and ask yr GP to refer you for some CBT.

And riding a bike is a recommended cure for depression 🙂

It's weird. I've noticed recently that once you focus on one negative thing, it's really easy to slide into focusing on all the negative and none of the positive at all

I call that the black hole. It sits there in space, and if you get too close to it it starts to suck you in and you can't escape. My wife suffers quite badly this way.. if she's in the general vicinity of the black hole and something knocks her off course, she can spiral into it and then everything becomes terrible.. 🙁

Re Shibboleth - sounds like your Blur has geometry issues.. maybe different forks or stem or even seat position might help. I was a right mincer on my old Pace until I put a 10mm shorter stem and riser bars on it. Then it became a weapon 🙂

Molegrips, I don't think so, it's served me well enough for 4 years or so. Just needed a bit of a change, I'm sure it'll feel fine when I get back on it.

A good session on the bike can lead to positive thinking and create a virtuous circle of confidence more generally. I've never got into a negative cycle from the bike, even when I've had crashes - but that can lead to a burst of adrenaline which I need to dampen down (a couple of drinks) or it can lead to a low the next day.

When I get stressed and miserable, I don't feel like biking. And when I make myself go it feels like a chore. Cold, wet, tired, hungry, not riding well, annoyed with the mud, the dust, the flies, every niggle re the bike.. and so on.

Its probably been said before but its worth mentioning again.

When you are out riding and not feeling great - getting passed or not tackling technical stuff well. Don't think about the other people on the trail with you, think about the thousands of lazy ****ers sitting at home who would turn red and have to stop riding 400metres into the first fireroad!

You are already better than thousands of others just go out and enjoy yourself!

It happens.

Confidence ebbs and flows. Be patient, it will return.

I get this with surfing too (which I'm meant to be good at).

Some sessions - pull all sorts of moves and catch everything.
Other sessions - complete numpty that falls off all the time and catches almost nothing.

This poor standard can last ages sometimes.

Just be positive (enjoy other aspects of the ride rather than speed/performance - just being out there, being healthy, etc) and keep at it.

All good advice on here, I think I must agree with Ton most though. Riding is all about enjoyment, not miles or how rad you are. Sometimes finding something else to do can be just as enjoyable. Go for a walk instead and you may look at things differently.

Sometimes we walk up Leith Hill and me and the kids run down the swoopy droppy singletrack sections. If a seven year old girl can run down it, then more or less anyone can ride it!

It's weird. I've noticed recently that once you focus on one negative thing, it's really easy to slide into focusing on all the negative and none of the positive at all

You always get more of what you focus on. Sounds corny but it's true. So, try to focus on +ve things, enjoy your ride, discuss your fears and frustrations with others and be happy with your current limits because as you become experienced your limits and horizons will expand.

OP - suggest you go back and read your own blog! There's some nice stuff on this very subject in there!

Big things on my mind - I work in the public sector. And change throws me a bit. And I'm moving Departments (cost is moving not changing). And my last month is turning into the month from hell with two big projects I appear to be managing with no experience of PM'ing at all.
But, having said that, bikings always been the thing that's put a grin back on. I just need to shut up moaning and get back to it, do easy stuff first and then gently build up to the complicated stuff again. It'll come back. Biking was sposed to be the simple thing - get on, get to the top, whizz back down again. Somewhere along the way I've allowed it to become more complicated than that.

some days on the bike are just rubbish. I had a day like that last week. couldn't work out what was wrong - moved the saddle a few times (it was actually wrong) but couldn't get it right. thought my spd cleats were loose. then to top it off hit a tree!!

focus on something else. I moved from technical ability to enjoyment. This week i've gone for slower country side rides/ road rides. I'll come back to the technical stuff some other day - don't let it fluster you.

your OH leaving you on the blue doesn't sound right though - who chose the blue him or you?

identifying what is making you lack confidence will be the first step

I'm booking in with Mr Great Rock on a girls only course. A lot of this stemmed from watching my OH blat off down the side of our first red while I got left behind tentatively working my through and round all the rocks/berms etc. I figure if I can learn how to do obstacles in an environment where I'm not watching people zoom off into the distance then my confidence will come back cos I'll be able to be faster again.
The stupid thing is, I sort of love that really nice working stuff out picking your lines hanging off the back of your bike stuff. I'm just not used to feeling like such a useful pile of girlyness on a bike. I'm stupidly aware of being a girl on a bike, mostly cos for the last year I've been the only girl on a bike in our little group off roading, the other two prefer towpaths and stuff, and I've got all mixed up with trying to prove a point about being a girl and being good and being fat and being good despite those things - I'm focusing on the wrong thing. I should just try to be good, because I want to be and nothing else.

I think that's the problem identified. Now I need the solution.

Confidence?

Naaa, just crap brakes and slick tyres that make me look fast :-p

Common to us all I think unless you are an internet forum warrior i.e. a plank.

If I haven't ridden or climbed for a while I'm nervous and have to pluck up my courage.
Some days you are just off and other days your mojo is on full power. As others say ride what you like and push what you dont. It's ment to be fun after all. Just riding flat pretty trails is enough some days as long as it puts a grin on your face.

I think you've got the solution already: a positive attitude and constructive action...

I think you should worry less about whether you're "good" or not. You're out there riding, and the more you do, the better you'll be, regardless of whether you think you're actually improving.

After 15 years of riding I've got to a stage where I can categorically say that I'm no longer [i]totally[/i] useless, but I still can't jump a bike to save my life, and there are a million people faster than me both up and down a hill.

The big thing is that I enjoy it; I've learned that speed really is my friend, and that 90% of the time momentum will get me through. I still have all the style of a sack of spuds, but that's never bothered me.

As for being a girl on a bike, the fact that you're out riding in such a male-dominated pastime/sport speaks volumes for your inherent self-confidence.

Highly recommend a skills course. Did one last year, and when I see a steep slope, I now know I can do it rather than doubt myself. Having said that, I do still struggle on the boardwalk section of the Llandegla Red. No idea why, just don't like it.

Paul

I hate the board walk at Llandegla too!!

OP - you could always try riding with the girlies a bit more, tends to be more relaxed and less pressure to nail stuff. Check out [url= http://www.shecycles.net ]www.shecycles.net[/url] - there's an easy ride once a month and we're dotted all over the country so there's probably someone near you. Also - did you know that Llandegla have a girls ride once a month? I think its the last Saturday of the month, but check the One Planet Facebook page or speak to Katy@OPA....

I did recommend a skills session but would suggest that a one-to-one session is the most effective way of regaining confidence.

I know it's a lot of money but it's well spent cos there will only be [b]you[/b] and the instructor, so holding up other people is one less pressure to deal with.

Try not to feel pressured by what other people are doing or how well they're doing it. Do it, or don't do it, for yourself. At your own pace.

If you want to walk a section, walk it. Enjoy doing the bits you can do and extend yourself or push the envelope in small increments. It's a hobby, when all's said and done. It's supposed to be fun. 🙂

Mincers of the world, unite!

Yeah, I've just booked a girly skills course and am now panicing I'm going to be holding everyone else up. I guess....I'll see where my fitness is at the time. If I'm going to be holding people up I'll bail and revisit I guess.
Lou P> I saw those girly rides but was worried the level would be way above me after struggling so much on the Llandegla red. I'll check out shecycles though, thank you.

I am very glad it's not just me who doesn't blat down trails in merry abandonment. It's making me feel a lot better just knowing that, tbh.

your OH leaving you on the blue doesn't sound right though - who chose the blue him or you?

It's not, this was a complete misunderstanding.

lou - I think they cater them to who's turned up. Might be worth giving Katy a ring and having a chat about it. Where about's are you based? I'm in Chester so if you fancy a gentle pootle around Llandegla blue one evening or even a try at some more natural stuff in the Clwyds, give me a shout.

I can remember when I started biking in '08 I spent a lot of summer evenings on Llandegla blue!

I think a lot of the confidence is about fitness when you start out - you get so worried about holding everyone else up that you get panicky... And when you start to feel like its not such hard work you have more energy to get over features or "attack" things a bit more.

Lou - just read your blog out loud to my wife - she agrees with absolutely everything you've written. The skills course I went on was a real mix of fitness - still fun, and allowed the fitter ones to have a nice breather.

If you want an MTB holiday, just been to Joyriders in Spain - which was a real inspiration to do more riding. Run by a lady, and one of the two guides was also female. She was fantastic with the ladies there at the same time as me. Gentle and encouraging - very impressed.

Having read all this (and visited your blog - great blog btw) I really feel for you. Is it any consolation to say everyone has lapses of confidence from time to time? Lots of great mtb related advice has been given already, so I'll just give my take on the feeling generally low/work stress thing.

I've been stressed at work myself lately, and yes, it does impact on the other bits of your life too. I'm a dweller, I'm guessing you do the same?

My Dad took me out swimming to de-stress t'other week and before we got to the poolside he said (very seriously) that his gym has a special rule: you're not allowed to talk about work, or even think about work at all, even a little bit, under any circumstances. At first I thought he meant he was sick of my moaning, but after 10 mins swimming by myself and the evil work worries popped into my head again, I remembered his rule and pushed them out. It worked (with a bit of effort) and I felt sooo much better for doing it. Worries get bigger the more you think about them.

So what I'm saying is, give yourself some time-out, a bit of head space and you'll begin to feel a lot better. 🙂

Joolz