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... any ideas on different approaches to try?
Have tried various approaches, but it's getting to the point where they are ill pretty much every week and are having a lot of time off school.
A medical professional of some type?
Do you take them out riding? Ingested too much dust?
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On a serious note: Is it specific stuff that they're not eating? Or all foods in general? What ages are they?
*waves at the returnee*
3 & 5 - very picky eaters.
Are meal times seen as something that has to be done, or as fun? Do the adults chat and laugh and clearly enjoy the food? Kids pick up on whether something is dull or fun and can't link food with health at that age, so if it isn;t fun, it's not interesting.
Son eats like a shrew, it's rare he has a good scoff.
Daughter eats like a horse, seriously get worried about sitting still too long as she might think me fair game and start on my arm!!!
But you sound like you should speak to your GP
iDave - I think you may well have it there. It's seldom that we are all in at the same time to eat together. Might make a couple of changes to see what effect that has. Cheers.
What else do they consume?
My mother, in her wisdom, decided that milk was good for me. I'd have three or four pints a day from a young age.
She was surprised I never wanted to eat anything....
three or four pints a day
😯 😯 😯
iDave has pretty much nailed it I think. Make eating an occasion.
Take them out for something to eat on a Friday evening for example. Or out for lunch at the weekend. Make it an 'event', so they enjoy it. Just down to a local child friendly pub or restaurant. Even ... shock, horror.... Don't be afraid of Macdonalds* once in a while. Doesn't do any harm. Or put a big munchy buffet/indoor picnic style affair while you all watch a film together
Also there's the obvious, age-old tradition of bribery. Eat your green stuff and you get dessert
* prepares to be flamed by the organic/PC brigade
Throw in the odd macdonalds as a treat.
EDIT: hadn't realised binbins got there before me. Turkey Twizzlers then.
show them a photo of hora from the movember thread, tell them that's what life is like without vegetables.
Our 5 year old doesn't each much whereas our 3 year old eats like a horse in exactly the same environment. The 5 year old has a fondness for milk - I've noticed that when "bad dad" doesn't let her have any milk until after she's eaten her food she eats more. The other thing that's worked is explaining to her that the reason her stomach hurts is because she's hungry and then going into some detail about what happens if you carry on not eating. We also talk about which bit of the meal is carbs, which protein etc. She now eats fine with me but still plays up with Mrs Murray.
Good luck.
I remember when I was a kid, and when my younger brother and sister were at the same age, we always ate together, we always ate the same food (It baffles my why people feed kids different food. Even back then I thought it odd that next door used to have, say, a joint of beef but give their 2 lads sausages and chips.) and we were expected to eat it all, every time. Yes, there were pitched battles and tantrums, but if it was on our plate, we sat there until we ate it. Eventually, you realise that food tasted nicer when hot and fresh, so you eat it, and eventually you like it. These days all 3 of us will eat pretty much anything, although there's always the odd thing everyone really hates of course.
But in general dinner times were a family event. No TV, no books, no radio, but plenty of talking..... 🙂
My dad made me sit at the table until I'd eaten whatever 'creation' he put in front of me.
Tough love.
My dad made me sit at the table until I'd eaten whatever 'creation' he put in front of me.Tough love.
I got similar but in later life it's turned me against a lot of food and I'm now a fussy eater.
My parents went for the 'tough' approach with us: I still remember finishing my spaghetti bolognese in the garage because I had a junior strop on. All four of us have an excellent relationship with food now.
That said, we haven't done that with our 2: I go for dangling of and (threat of) removal of 'carrots' -the 'carrots' being pudding and treats, also starting with a smaller lump of whatever it is on the plate and going for seconds. We have managed to widen the scope of 'ok' foods by keeping it predictable most of the time and pushing the envelope choice-wise maybe once or twice a week. That said, although they are very rarely ill, eldest child is still thinner than she could be.
Also since it's nearly the season to be jolly,[url= http://www.portablenorthpole.tv/home ]Portable North Pole[/url] allowed us to 'programme' Santa to encourage them to try new food. brushing teeth etc. There is no level of cheesiness I won't stoop to, but it is amazing how seriously my 7 year old still took her message from Santa last year.
Are you sure that not eating is making them ill? I would have thought you need to be pretty hungry before that happens.
Our experience:
Don't make it a source of negative attention. Give them food when it is time for food, give the same thing as everyone else. If they don't eat it then ignore it, if they do then praise. We made this mistake with our first. When she was little we put too much pressure on and she liked being the center of attention (probably without realising).
Try giving them alot less than 'normal' so that they get used to leaving less.
Excercise makes you hungry.
Let them have a list of 3 things they 'don't like' that you will never give them.
Also within reason let them help make some meals or snacks.
Ooh, sounds like my little sister. Never ate much, always a bit of eczma (sp?) always coldy, tended to throw up really easily. She needed a diet change, which seems weird advice for someone who doesn't east but sorted her out.
(In her case, she needed to avoid acidy fruit, caffeine, and peppermint, and eat more slow carbs.)
Actually Spag Bol is a real winner for getting kids enjoying eating. Seeing who can slurp up the biggest piece in one go*. With associated face-pulling. They'll be covered in bolognese sauce, but will have probably have forgotten they're even eating
Making pizzas is another good one. Buy some pizza bases and let them put their own toppings on
* Its me BTW
Family meals, it's important to me that we all sit and eat breakfast and dinner together as a family. It is old fashioned and sometimes I think the kids would rather be watching TV though.
our 18 month old girl doesnt eat much, we have finally got her down to 2 bottles of milk each day, one before midday nap and one before bed.
she drinks LOADS of water and its getting to the point were getting worried something may be wrong with her?
we have ogt into the sin of putting the TV on to make her eat, i know we'll regret this.
my uncle used to make me eat all theusnday sunday lunch, piles of cabbage. one eventful day i forced so much down i got up from the table and hurled across the kitchen.
Do you think the illnesses are connected to the small appetites (ie, get ill because they aren't getting the vitamins etc they need or the illnesses keep making them lose their appetites?)
Baby North is a bit of a funny eater (she is only 15mths though), and seems happier eating whatever we (or her grandparents, who look after her when we're at work) are eating. And preferably from our plates and not hers....
She is pretty middle class in her tastes, too - she loves my scrambled egg and smoked salmon that I make for weekend breakfast. 😀
But, for what it is worth, my thoughts are that your children won't starve so don't stress too much*. Some kids just don't eat.
But if you have real concerns over repeated illnesses, could you ask your GP to undertake blood tests to ensure they don't have any underlying conditions?
*But my wife doesn't listen to this advice when I try to offer it up so I doubt you will.
Obviously go see a doc. For peace of mind if nothing else.
Other tactics? Yeah, let them help with the food preparation. Your kitchen will probably take a couple of days to clean but you'll have some great memories. Try as many different foods as possible, the idea of picnics in front of the the TV is a great one! Used to do that on a Saturday night as a kid and od it with my children now.
Another +1 for all sitting round the table together and making meal times fun.
Good luck, nothing brings more fun and more worries than your children!
Our son never ate much when he was younger, but suddenly started trying new stuff when he was about 6. He's 14 now and eats like a horse, loves trying new foods - had whole grilled whole squid, fried baby squid on our last holiday which many people just won't go near.
We do always eeat our evening meal as a family round the table though so maybe that makes a difference. They will start to eat and I wouldn't worry about the eating thing too much.
The 'always ill' thing is more of a concern, luckily our son is very seldom 'ill' and if he is he generally just gets on with it.
I can't be doing with kids that are 'ill' all the time, unless its for a good reason, and maybe you should stop the mamby pamby stuff and just send them to school. If you call a sniffly cold an illness then you're not helping.
My sister was a nightmare when she was young - picky eater, always off school with colds and coughs and my mum always pandered to her every need. She's much the same now.
You should change your approach now.
Some good advice that my Dad gave me once was not to fret if one of my children became a picky eater and try not to make a fuss of it.
All three of our children have had different appetites which have varied over time as well.
Out youngest is probably the "worst" as such. She is nearly 4 now and her appetite has waxed and waned over the years.
Hopefully things will get better with time.
three or four pints a day😯 😯 😯
Yeah. Went to prep school aged 8. Such things weren't available. Was starving all the time. Learnt to eat anything that was put in front of me.
Haven't looked back....
I also have a 3 and 5 year old. Make meals fun, as in not a big deal, dont stress. Reward charts work well. Not too big a portion on their plates. No snacks between meals, ie junk food like sweets. Fruit ok, leave it out so they can help themselves. Let them see you eating together. They definitely enjoy eating soemthing they have helped prepare.
They are good at picking up on your stress and maybe meals have become a bit of a crunch time?
Quick edit; make sure they are not constipated as if not going regular will feel bloated, and not like eating, bit of a viciouc circle this one. Orange juice and fruit/weetabix help!!
I'd definitely see your GP about the illness & lack of appetite to try and establish what's the cause and what's the effect - illness making them not eat, or not eating making them ill - or whether there's something biolgical/physiological going on.
When he was younger my stepson never had a big appetite, slept a lot & asked for food at all sorts of times of day and night as he kept feeling hungry.
Eventually his mum took him to the GP - turned out he had pretty serious constipation (not sure why. diet was pretty good). GP put him on a course of laxative powder in his drink. Within a few days the change in him was huge - appetite picked up, ate proper sized meals, more interested in food, more energy, you could see in his face he was happier/healthier.
Family meal times is the answer
Yes, there were pitched battles and tantrums, but if it was on our plate, we sat there until we ate it. Eventually, you realise that food tasted nicer when hot and fresh, so you eat it, and eventually you like it
Hehe.. well that does not always work. It is perfectly possible for stubbornness to over-ride hunger, I know first hand.
Strong-arm tactics do not always work. I was a terrible eater until I left home and cooked for myself. I was able to explore food on my own terms and after 5-8 years or so I became fairly reasonable.
Different tactics for different kids - of course!
(assuming there's no underlying medical reason)
Family mealtimes is probably where you want to get to, but you may have to take the scenic route.
My two (6 and 3) are very different animals when it comes to mealtimes - the 6yo eats pretty much anything you put in front of him and eats it all up pretty quick. He views food as fuel and mealtimes as an interruption to whatever business he's engaged in.
The 3yo would happily sit at the table for 2 hours, blethering away and playing without picking up his fork. He'll eat most things now, and eventually gets there but it can sometimes be a bit of a struggle to get him to finish a meal.
Not all kids want to eat full meals at mealtimes - my 3yo would be far happier if we littered the house with a variety of tapas that he could just pick at when he felt like it.
We started off just battling him at mealtimes - he'd be hungry and grumpy and got objectionable when we tried to persuade him to eat, which quickly became a vicious circle. What we did was to make fruit, raisins, oatcakes etc available to him between meals - not forced on him, but just around if he wanted something small and we made an effort to relax at mealtimes. This resulted in him coming to the table at mealtimes without being starving hungry and as such he was much calmer and ate meals a lot better, and we stopped trying to make him eat it all. Gradually we've eased off on the snacks available and increased his portions at mealtimes and he's fine now.
IMO when they're as young as yours are, its more important that they eat in the first place, rather than eating a structured family meal. Plenty of time to build up to that.
Hope you make some progress, good luck.
Some good suggestions above.
Getting them to make/prepare meals with you is a very good idea. It's fun for them, but most importantly they can see what is going into their meals.
Bear in mind it can take a child up to 12 goes at trying new foods to get used to new flavours. Just keep trying.
Make meal times as fun as possible, lots of praise for eating what they do, try and stay clear of being negative.
Also worth mentioning you should be eating the same foods as them, not point telling them to eat something if they don't see you eat it first.
All this from experience, my boy used to live with mum and a diet of fast food, now 4 months on spag bol, all veg (except sprouts) curry, even chilli, put on 6 lbs in that time too.
My nephew's weird.
He has been known to force himself to eat stuff he doesn't even like.
😕
We've always tried to make the evening meal a family affair and we've always only ever cooked one meal - time is precious and we'd rather spend it with the kids than slaving over the stove.
The result is that our two (aged 4.5 and 6) eat really rather well. MasterG will eat anything you put in front of him and loves to taste stuff he hasn't tried / seen before. MissG is not as good, but not bad at all. We're very lucky.
We've never forced the bairns to eat anything they don't want - we encourage them to try and, if they do and still don't like it, then fine. Not a problem. However, they do realise that if they don't eat their dinner, there is nothing else.
Getting them to make/prepare meals with you is a very good idea.
+1!
They love it... A recent example of this. I was shopping with MasterG in the local supermarket; oggling the fish counter (or the girl behind it, I can't quite remember 😳 ), he asked what 'those black things' were? 'Mussels!', 'oh, can you eat them?', 'yup, they're lovely - we can get some if you like, but I'll need some help....'. Cue this:
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He spent over an hour (he wouldn't let me help him - cool!) scrubbing and pulling the beards from them all. He watched me cook them and promptly scoffed the majority of them too.
We also make pizzas on Saturdays for tea. I make the bases, the bairns then put on whatever toppings I put out for them (peppers, salami, olives, ham, 'shrooms etc. etc) - as much or as little as they want. The kitchen looks like a disaster area afterwards but it is great fun 8)
Getting them to make/prepare meals with you is a very good idea.
+2
I don't think it is a co-incidence that our two's favourite food is pancakes - a Sunday morning treat where we make them together. I (literally) can't cook them quickly enough.
As well as what's on the plate, our gang have orange juice with most meals, keeps them topped up on Vits pretty well, though we do buy 20 litres a week of the stuff.
+1 on the pancakes, I have 3 pans and a skillet on the go all at once, ours love them with ham, cheese and maple syrup.
It's random, seems to come and go. We have one who was fussy and now eats anything and one who is extremely fussy. What has helped in the past was a cookbook for children by Annabel Karmel. Note everything worked but you just marked up the stuff that did.
The other thing we noticed is that it seemed to go down well if lots of melted butter was involved.
Baby North is a bit of a funny eater (she is only 15mths though), and seems happier eating whatever we (or her grandparents, who look after her when we're at work) are eating. And preferably from our plates and not hers....
How is that 'funny'? Normal behaviour surely?