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Another option for the singleton's is some of the team rides / races. Advertise on here for some mixed teams for Bontrager 12/24 / SITS / MM. Spend the weekend together but opportunity to make yourself scarce as well. Just don't be too competitive!
Interesting thread, this. Not contributed up 'til now, as I've been reading it in dribs and drabs while doing other stuff. Totally agree with many comments about how difficult it is to meet singles of the opposite/same sex, (delete as appropriate), as this is a situation I've been in for years now. While I never have difficulty in chatting to people, I never really hang out at the sort of places where single men are supposed to meet other singles, and the few occasions where I've met someone who I've hit it off with have then admitted they're still having feelings for an ex, and are trying to re-establish things, even when, in one instance, the ex has said he's really not interested. Most disheartening, when the ladies in question are really lovely people. I'm not interested in the whole Internet dating thing, for reasons that have been already stated. A singles ride would be interesting, but a problem would always be that I could end up meeting someone from miles away that would involve extensive and expensive commuting back and forth, which can get tiresome.
Also, there's that inevitable set-in-yer-ways thing as you get older of being able to just do what you want when you want, which is pretty selfish. Doesn't help with cuddles and hugs and a fairly strong sex drive, tho'
Dammit. 🙁
Sex is non-existant, and I usually have a high sex drive. I'm on AD's too, have been for about 2 years.
ADs may take out libido 🙁
Xipe Totec - Member
A singles ride would be interesting, but a problem would always be that I could end up meeting someone from miles away that would involve extensive and expensive commuting back and forth, which can get tiresome.
Yes good point, well made. I've done the long distance relationship but at the time I suspected I would be moving (and did) which would have me in the same city - it did before it tiresome. However I don't think I'd want to start a long distance relationship right now.
OKAY THEN. Are there any single girls and guys that are London based and fancy trying a group ride to meet some other people?
I apologise for my naivety (I guess caused by having been in a relationship) but with all the communication aides available today, it's quite extraordinary to read of your experiences.
So why is this?
So is the problem that people just aren't really honest about whether they want a relationship or is it that they are fearful of being rejected?
Internet dating is only good if you're a) of a certain age (i.e. mid-30's+); and b) good looking or c) funny.
Totally disagree on age. I know of several successes for mid/late-20s people of both sexes, me included! Being amazingly good looking or funny are not pre-requisites, but confidence and resilience are.
My first rejection was really upsetting but it got easier very quickly. After a short while it was a blast, and I wish I'd done it sooner.
cinnamon-girl....for me its just not meeting that special person. Not meeting many new people full stop at the moment and my work is mainly men, mtbing is mainly men, climbing is a litte better but still far more men, hence making an effort to change that. In the past, yes I've been very shy at approaching girls for fear of rejection...was probably too much of a romantic too - kind of thought I'd meeet the right person and it would just happen, as I got older I realised I have to make it happen.
neil - I thought climbing had plenty of very fit girlies? I think you're right in saying that you have to make it happen.
The post from antennae above ^ made some good points. I guess it's also researching properly which online dating sites you use.
[b]OK, I'm happy if required to organise an STW Swinley Forest Singletons Ride sometime. Any interest?[/b]
It's accessible by train (Martin's Heron) and I have plenty of experience of guiding around there!
Hey, if we're having a single misfit's amnesty can I join in? Singletonworld ride sounds excellent but too far away for me (any singleladyworlders in Spain?). Also I would be worried things might get a bit competitive, what tyres for rutting?
Right, that's enough of that! There's no misfits in this parish!
I couldn't possibly comment on tyres ...
Fear of rejection is a real problem; I baulk at asking someone out because I'm certain I'll get turned down for whatever reason, usually not wanting to get involved again having been hurt before/broke up, holding out hope ex will have them back...
I just want someone who's fun to be with, romantic, pretty, sweet, and not really high maintenance. I guess that's just asking too much. She doesn't even need to be a really keen cyclist, just happy to go out for a pootle on a nice day, while I follow on behind. Checking out her bu...oops sorry, didn't mean that! 😉
[i]I just want someone who's fun to be with, romantic, pretty, sweet, and not really high maintenance.[/i]
that'll be me then....although old fart would say i moan a lot 😯 😉
Well misfits, quirky types, takes all sorts etc. It said up there about accepting one's faults and stuff.. I KNOW I'm a bit weird.
Sounds like I want to take up climbing.
[i]I just want someone who's fun to be with, romantic, pretty, sweet, and not really high maintenance.[/i]
That sounds like quite a big ask actually! They all got bagsied ages ago ;o)
Hmmm, I think this rejection angle will figure quite highly. It's just not necessarily a girl thing.
Xipe - from memory I reckon we're similar ages so can completely understand where you're coming from. I had just assumed that being more "mature" could potentially make it easier from a less baggage/kids viewpoint. But I think the compromise thing would rear its head in a big way.
Really, I have accepted that since my divorce, I will always be single but actually feel quite comfortable about it. Am not an easy person, strong-minded, ride bikes etc etc. Not sure whether that's the right attitude though!!
although old fart would say i moan a lot
And scream..i've experienced you do both whilst having a ride.
I can indeed confirm that aleigh is noisy in the woods 😯
(Mumbling, head hangin' in shame)
Been reading this thread but been too scared to stick my massive (but perfectly formed and highly alluring) nose in.
Sex/no sex, either way being on your own is quite disheartening, especially if you've had it in the past, be that marriage, co-habiting, wild flings or whatever.
I'm relatively young, though feel aged far, far beyond my years, and already have begun resigning myself to the scrapheap.
A SingleonTrackWorld ride would be a lot of fun but, as has been raised, if an equal male:female ratio were imposed the ride would only consist of about four riders...
Good luck at the meat market folks! 😉
Join in bananaworld! It's only by "talking" about this stuff that we can try and understand where people are coming from.
Haven't a clue how many girlies would come along. Perhaps they could e-mail me, address in profile?
As regards meat market, er no. Girls and guys riding bikes - more of a chilled-out vibe I would say 8)
If you're interested, post up and say so!
If you dare let me...
*raises hand*
I've just popped in and had a look.
Is rejection such a major issue? Silly question for younger people obviously but for middle aged people I would have thought this was path of the course. Certainly dating and life wise. You've not been brought up in this ridiculous society so surely you're used it it and understand it's part of life, yes?
sharki - you coming along then?
samuri - it does sound as though it is for some people. As regards "middle-aged people", yep I am one of these apparently and I rejected my now ex-husband. He was devasted after decades of marriage. So, in answer to your question, everyone is affected differently.
My defences are well and truly fortified.
Yup, just say when and where and i'll make sure i'm free single and riding a bike.
Girls are scary, I'm a bit like Rajesh in Big Bang Theory when it comes to talking to women.
Fortunately this is no longer a problem as I'm married 😉
[i]He was devasted after decades of marriage.[/i]
Yes, he would be but that's taking my comments out of context as you well know. All the previous rejection worries were based around asking someone out on a first date as far as I could tell.
But surely it's just not about the first date? What about six months into a relationship and cracks appear? I believe people are really quite fragile nowadays.
What I mean is that some people are so terrified of rejection that they don't reach the first date. Which of course leads us nicely to the question of whether we have "protected" our children too much from the knocks that life gives us.
You're agreeing with me now. 😉
Not exactly! I am a woman!
lol
[i]He was devasted after decades of marriage.[/i]
How much did you take him for? "Our children" suggests you have some so probably a sizeable sum. I suggest that someone who pokes people's eyes out is leading the blind here.
For those males not lucky enough to have found one of the rare females that shags because she enjoys it and is with you because she likes you I suggest weekend breaks in Holland or Germany where reasonable rates apply. Or are you/would be be a source of status, cash, a flash house/car, the right genes for healthy kids... ?
I'm up for the ride!
Edukator - **** off.
I'm 27 and feel like I'd be past it if I was to be single again. 90% of all my friends are married, or otherwise engaged.
So I have a big fear of rejection, and I also have a big fear of seeing her with another person if we did split. She was my first girlfriend etc etc
[i]And scream..i've experienced you do both whilst having a ride[/i]
haha - yes that's true as you know 😆
the male to female ratio will be difficult. perhaps those of you that know any single ladies that mtb but don't frequent on here, pass the message on that there'll be a fun singletontrackworld ride on the go at some point!
27 ha! Hope you still have the magic then, I suppose the danger with your situation is that your guys are just together because you're scared of being alone.. I'm sure you're not though, just, it does happen, right?
Yeah, the marriage/baby crew get tiresome for us singletards (well for me anyway).
Is that a subtle sign of interest or a rejection C_G? Either way you have just lost control of your situation.
By the way, it's very difficult to tell who is a she and who is a he going by user names. Apart from the obvious of course 😉
Magic? What is that? I can do a card trick if you want? 😉
Edukator, harsh man.
Not nice being the rejector or being rejected. It's been worse for me when I've had to reject someone than when I've been rejected. That's only after a year or so, not 'decades'..
Edukator - I've seen your inane postings before.
[i]it's very difficult to tell who is a she and who is a he going by user names[/i]
i think it would be in everyones interests to fess up to being a man or a woman.....or the ride could turn out to be interesting 😯
My point exactly. Not that I'd be going on this ride. For two reasons, and one being I'm in another country, just back across the puddle in Norn Iron.
CG - Edukators post strikes me as being very well observed and makes his point beautifully, going straight through the surface flirting and backslapping. Shame it ruffled your feathers, but I imagine it would be a bit of a shock after so much smoke has been blown up yours and aleighs arse in these 6 pages (6 pages!) of desperate teenage hand wringing angst.
Reading this has been like looking at a fatal car crash. Horrible yet morbidly fascinating.
Still, I guess thats what internet forums are for?! 😆
[i]so much smoke has been blown up yours and aleighs arse in these 6 pages (6 pages!) of desperate teenage hand wringing angst.[/i]
don't quite know what you mean by that comment scienceofficer! but like you said, it's a forum 😆