[Closed] Can't tie my own shoe laces; can anyone help?

Sorry you need the bike forum for arse wiping problems....

No, it's not funny; I've suddenly been rendered incapable of working anything out for myself, and feel compelled to ask others on an internet cycling forum...

May I recommend [url=www.fieggen.com/shoelace/]Iain's Shoelace Site[/url]

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But there's nothing there, GrahamS; just an empty void.... 🙁

I'd love to help but I too am suffering and due to circumstance beyond my control I've completely forgotten how to type, sorry.

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What do you look like? If you're kind of cute, with a six-pack and big guns, I might come round and help you.

If not, sorry, I'm busy 😉

I was going to reply but I've forgotten how to work my PC.

I'd love to help, but I just don't care and prefer to look on and mock from afar. Does that make you feel better?

sorry for the thread hijack but ive just breathed in and cant remember what to do next

any advice

NEVER FAILS!!!!!!!! IT WILL ALL COME FLOODING BACK!!!!!!!

I've tried and tried to tie you, shoe.
I've never done it yet.
A loop that flip-flops on the floor
Is as close as I can get.
I've practiced on spaghetti.
I've practiced on the mop.
I've practiced on my sister
Until she made me stop.
So here's the loop again, shoe.
I'll hold it with my thumb.
I'll wrap the other end around...
And yank it into bows.
It's done!

I've long suspected from your moronic ranting on here that these simple tasks may have been beyond you but thanks for the confirmation all the same.

peterpoddy: are those available with SPD fittings?

Apologies for not getting back sooner, but I completely lost all power of rational thought, and was thus rendered even more useful then ever!

😉

What do you look like? If you're kind of cute, with a six-pack and big guns, I might come round and help you.

If not, sorry, I'm busy

😯 😮

Help me please Karinofnine for I am frightened...

But there's nothing there, GrahamS; just an empty void...

Ahh frig, missed off the http, sorry.

Here ya go [url= http://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/ ]Iain's Shoelace Site[/url]

Everybody is missing the crucial question. What shoelaces for trolls?

too busy stumbling over the crumbs from my biscuits.

Karinofnine - Member

What do you look like? If you're kind of cute..........

It depends what you like.............does Leon Trotsky do it for you ?

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pfffffffffft!, spilt my coffee!

****ing cheek. Look at the state of that barnet!

I keep my hair much neater and tidier than that.

Thank you GrahamS; I don't know what I would have done, without your help.

Even though I've got the same internet access as everyone else, I'm just incapable of thinking for myself, and need help to deal with even the simplest of problems...

What do you look like? If you're kind of cute, with a six-pack and big guns, I might come round and help you.

Well, the reason he can't tie his shoelaces is because he looks more like this -

[img] [/img]

😛

come on then fred

there's 2 threads up, one's in Barcelona and one in the Italian lakes

how about, in the next hour, you come up with a costed itinerary for them (2 adults) to get home by, say 36hrs from now ?

Why is everyone being cruel and unkind to me? 😥

how about, in the next hour, you come up with a costed itinerary for them (2 adults) to get home by, say 36hrs from now ?

But how on Earth would I do that? Would it require me using the internet to find out information for myself? I just don't think I'm capable of such an incredibly demanding task...

Ah! Penny drops! I was just thinking that pic of Trotsky looks a lot like that self-posted pic of rudeboy, then scaredypants calls Talkemada 'Fred'. Have I missed a trick here?

Have I missed a trick here?

No, it's just that some folk on here seem to think I'm the reincarnation of some tortured soul who used to frequent these parts. I'm not of course, and resent the comparison, as I would like to be recognised in my own right.

I get my mum to tie mine for me. If you ask her nicely she may do yours too.

Anything else you need any help with?

What to have for lunch perhaps?

user-removed, put up something about that girl on lazytown - he won't be able to resist for long

****ing cheek. Look at the state of that barnet!

I thought it was remarkably true to life - so watch out for people with ice picks 🙁

Laces - pah, I couldnt find my bol*s in the dark with both hands and a bolk map, that's how s**t I am.

Trotsky - no, he can tie his own shoelaces - or wear slippers

Vin Diesel - yes, I could be prepared to give him a hand

Vin Diesel - yes, I could be prepared to give him a hand

just don't expect any conversation apart from grunts 🙂

Funnily enough, I've actually been compared to Vin Deisel! Imagine a scaled-down version; still well buff, but not as massive. I've got nicer eyes though. And I'm more intellectual... 🙂

my dog is more intelectual than Vin

Funnily enough, I've actually been compared to Vin Deisel! Imagine a scaled-down version; still well buff, but not as massive. I've got nicer eyes though. And I'm more intellectual...

I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really want to make a comment about that but I shan't. No, really I mussent. Not ever. Never ever.....

i never knew there was so much to lacing...

are there other areas of experience that are much more complex than i realised, despite coping adequately this far?

[trundles back over to iain's shoelace site]

there's always [url= http://www.howtowipeyourbutt.com/ ]http://www.howtowipeyourbutt.com/[/url]

Don't be afraid to enter

just a little

Mind you, I've also been likened to Moors Murderer Ian Brady, Charles ****ing Manson, and all manner of other unpleasant characters... 😥

Mr T!

Scaled down? What scale exactly?

[img] [/img]

Is this you? (front row left)

Another banned idiot returns under a different name. Great.

Another banned idiot returns under a different name. Great.

Why, what were you banned for, TooTall?

(Karin; can't see the pic, if it's supposed to be a pic. Won't load)

The previously-banned idiots are the only thing that stops this forum disappearing up its arse in an enormous cloud of indignant, self-important guff.

What tyres for disappearing up your own jacksy? 😀

What tyres for becoming a banned idiot?

[url= ][/url]

I can see it on my laptop, here's the URL

Nope, not working Karin, sorry. Are you trying to link to an actual computer or something, rather than an image stored on a server? Strange address.

I'm, assuming, from the 'midget' part, that it's of a very wee person. Almost too wee, perhaps?

I'm in good shape for my age, all my own teeth and most of my hair. I enjoy swimming, cycling, art, music and shiny things. Mental condition not too bad, depending on the weather. 😀

Can someone tell me whether this thread delivers or not - I can't work it out for myself

"Another banned idiot returns under a different name. Great."
Banned maybe, idiot far from it...

I'm in good shape for my age

Ooooh, that's a telling remark 😆

I am unconvinced this is Fred etc post too short an dnot much on the political side. Suspect this poster is a lurker though given ability to fit right in. Awaits e-mail 😆

Karinofnine - Member

Trotsky - no, he can tie his own shoelaces - or wear slippers

Vin Diesel - yes, I could be prepared to give him a hand

😕 You strike me as a very shallow person, Karinofnine ...... if you don't mind me saying so.

There is more than just primitive and animal like carnal lust, to defining whether someone is "attractive".
What about their intellect? their personality? whether they are warm and generous? kind and witty?.....eh ?
I'm disappointed

Although [i]as it happens[/i]......... Talkemada is a right dopey **** with the personality of a comatose sheep.
So not really an issue in this particular instance.

.

Talkemada - Member

****ing cheek. Look at the state of that barnet!

I keep my hair much neater and tidier than that.

What, like this mush ?

[img] http://images.fotopic.net/?iid=yw4smg&outx=480&quality=70 [/img]

I think you'll find gus/ernie that most* of the men on here prefer looks over personality. Seeing the way the comments are on certain A & A posts on a Friday.

* Not all but some 🙄

I suggest a career in politics?

Christ Almighty Ernie; WTF is that? Don't show that pic to any babies; they'll be scarred for life, poor little mites! 😯

That's got to be some sort of mad bastard serial killer, no? Someone in Broadmoor??

Ooh, s'orrible! 😥

[img]] [/img]
Don't mind me, just having a go at karinofnine's piccy link.
[edit] nah, incapable of working it out. Can't find me own arse with a map, me.[/edit]

FFs, the milk in me tea's curdled... 🙁

Now come on Fred...in all fairness I did not just liken you to Ian Brady...more an Ian Brady/Mira Hindley love child!! 🙄

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8)

dont be so self-deprecating fred. I think your mugshot is quite honest. You should revel in the realism of it all.

That's got to be some sort of mad bastard serial killer, no? Someone in Broadmoor??

reminds me of The Shining - "heeeere's Freddy!"

😆

[img] [/img]

😯

😆

Luv ya Fred 😉

Peeps, all above remarks made for comic value only...

Just 'avin' a laff, which I thought was the thrust of this thread

Ok, wrong analogy

Karin - Fred definitely has a sense of humour, he's lovely. 😀

Yes, he seems really nice from other posts of his which I have read.

he's lovely........

Yes, he seems really nice........

😕 No he isn't.

Hey Gus, I will defend my ex-fiancee, despite him ditching me for a younger and prettier model. 😯

I'm sure 'Fred' appreciates the kind comments, and I'm sure he has no need to be defended against Ernie, who is really mean and nasty. 🙁

Why are you so nasty, Ernie? Never a good word for anyone. I bet you turn water into vinegar just by looking at it, you're so vile and eaten up with nastiness. Why can't you try being nice to people, like me? Is it really too much to ask?

I think Ernie just needs a bit of love, and maybe a hug. But nobody's going to want to hug a prickly hedgehog, are they Ernie? Try to make an effort, and be nicer to folk. See if you can do it just for tonight. And if you can manage that, then maybe give it another go tomorrow.

Give it a go; you never know, it might make you feel a bit better.

X

Fred and Gus used to talk like this to one another all the time. It's a remarkable coincidence that you've already developed something similar. Kinda cute though...

Well, I'm not surprised that Ernie upset others. He was nasty to me almost as soon as I joined this forum.

I suspect, that deep down, he really wants to be nice. He just can't allow himself to be.

Ernie, if you are willing to change, then I am willing to help you. Building bridges and all that.

Can't be nasty all your life. It's just not good for you.

X

Dear me! We need to get you two down to Swinley Forest - chill out on the singletrack followed by a nice cup of tea. I'm sure Aleigh will be more than happy to accompany us. 8)

The bridge at Swinley has been built but don't think either of you have ridden it.

What you say?

The bridge at Swinley has been built but don't think either of you have ridden it.

I'm not surprised that Ernie upset others.

What you talking about mate ............ I've never upset anyone.
And I'd be mortified if I thought I had.

.

[b][i]"Hey Gus, I will defend my ex-fiancee"[/i][/b]

😕 Are we talking about the same geezer ? ...........the little gobby git that gives it all that, is who [i]I'm[/i] talking about.

Some people are shouty, some aren't. Look for the good in everyone.

What you talking about mate ............ I've never upset anyone.

You bloody liar! You've deliberately upset me on several occasions, by being mean and nasty. Some nights, I've cried myself to sleep over your hurtful and malicious comments. 😥

You [i]can[/i] be nice though. It'll just take some effort on your part.

Me and Cinnamon Girl will help you.

He goes all soft when it comes to pussy...
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...cats.

Just for Ernie:

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He'll have a hump in his throat looking at that picture. Kinda got me a little emotional 🙂

ahhh....hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa! looks like STW is coming back to life! ahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaha!

You certainly are mate! You had a coffee instead of a Horlicks by accident?