MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
[url= http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-10725773 ]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-10725773[/url]
Apparently it's easy to plagiarise - but can you genuinely think of your own?
I never realised that Keith Chegwin was supposed to be funny.
I created one a while ago. I was proud:
"Did you hear about the editor who was concerned about his contributor's grammar and typographical errors?
He was worried sic."
Al - it made me laugh! Good one.
How do Russians get on holiday?
They use a JetSki.
🙂
IGMC
worried sic.
I like.
YAY!
This has made my Friday 😀
Here's one I claim to have invented when I was 11:
Q: What did the undertaker die of? A: Coughin' (coffin...geddit?)
You can have that one Keith. Knock yourself out.
Hora's parents did.
Sorry Hora.
I make loads up. Rubbish puns usually.
bloke goes into an italian restaurant and asks to have pasta thrown at his shins...
he wanted spaghetti below-the-knees
etc
+1 for rubbish puns...
Where do cows go for sexual gratification?
'Uddersfield
When do classical composers buy Christmas presents?
During late night Chopin.
Not that I overuse those 'gags' but I feel I must add that my wife dreads the approach of the festive season and driving anywhere near Huddersfield.
Why do database developers read books quickly
So they can get into the SQL
I suspect continually refreshing my browser to see if I've received similar recognition to Al is going to prove disappointing... 😉
spaghetti below-the-knees
lol! 😆 God Almighty...
I made one when I was 6, you can see why I stopped...
Q- where does a chicken have the most feathers?
A- on the outside.....
- what do you call a dog that lives for 120 minutes?
- a two-hour
- What does the Central American tin fabricator do for a living?
- He makes-a-can
etc
I made one when I was 6, you can see why I stopped...Q- where does a chicken have the most feathers?
A- on the outside.....
Gold Jerry! 🙂
On a similar theme, here's one of mine (I [i]think[/i] I made it up!)
Why'd the Rooster cross the road?
To get to the other side...
Why'd he want to get to the other side?
To go to the pub...
Why'd he want to go to the pub?
To go to the toilet...
Why'd he want to go to the toilet?
'Cos that's where all the Cocks hang out!
😆 !
he wanted spaghetti below-the-knees
?
He was worried sic.
Surely it should be "He was worreyed" [i]sic[/i]
Did you hear about the bloke from Coronation Street who preferred his stinging insects to have less of a fried coating?
It was Less Battered-Bee
Bessie Braddock to Winston Churchill: “Sir, you are drunk.”
Winston Churchill to Bessie Braddock : “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober. In the meantime get your coat, you've pulled.”
A friend of mine's been pretty down lately and I thought maybe playing a couple of games might take his mind off things.
I offered to lend him a Playstation, a Gamecube and a Dreamcast, but he refused. Try as I might, I just couldn't console him.
In a shock story today, local fairground owner Jeff Bollinger-Mabillard expressed his shock and disgust at the latest incident in what is proving to be a long-standing battle for popularity between his business and that of rival circus owner, J.P. Bunkum.
"I just can't believe it", Bollinger-Mabillard told our reporter earlier today, "I can't believe he's actually stooped this low. I'm ruined!"
Bollinger-Mabillard showed us the utter devastation throughout the remains of hs once-prosperous tourist attraction. "They came in through here," he continued, indicating a large hole in the chain-link fence surrounding the fairground, "Then after that it's hard to tell. He trained them well."
Police are currently sceptical about the exact nature of this latest attack, but the fairground owner has very firm beliefs as to what exactly happened.
"Those bloody new sea lions he bought, viscious little buggers. He imported them specially, I'm sure of it. 'Performing' my arse. They trashed the place."
It seems strange that such damage could be caused by a few seabound mammals, normally more associated with eating fish whilst being beaten with sticks for amusement than as instruments of revenge, but the aggrieved B-M is adamant. "I had my suspicions when I saw him training them to bite through steel wire and to use flamethrowers, but I dismissed it as my own paranoia. But when I spotted them causing havoc in my park last night, I knew my fete had been sealed."
(all my own work, I'm here all week, try the veal)
this was robbed from facebook - but reminds me of the console one...
Rick Astley phoned me just and asked if he could borrow my collection of Pixar films... "Okay," I said, "you can have Toy Story, Cars and Finding Nemo. But I'm never gonna give you Up"
Do you reckon the Terminator T-1000's mum ever told him "if the wind changes, you'll stick like that?"
I just told my girlfriend that I wanted to kick her puppy and then dual her aunt.
Damned predictive text.
This is one of mine. It's awful.
"I saw an advert for that Fly Emirates the other day. If flies have their own Emirates why are there so many of the buzzing little sods over here?"
Bomb disposal experts were called to a suspicious package outside Downing Street today.
On opening, it was found to contain fish.
The Surreal IRA have claimed responsibility.