Breaking Up
 

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[Closed] Breaking Up

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I've been with my girlfriend for several years, we currently live together. For the last few months however I've come to realise that I no longer love her, & that the best course of action is probably to split up.

My issue with this is the timing, she's currently trying to get back into university & has quite a few exams coming up & I don't want to stress her out even more by splitting up now.

Is it best to get it out of the way or wait until her exams are over? Any advice or thoughts please!


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:17 am
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Unfortunately there would never be a good time to split up - best to do what is best for you as the upset will be the same for her whenever you do it and you just get more miserable in the meantime.

Best of luck.


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:21 am
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Talk her in to a threesome and you might be lucky 😉 and if you're really lucky she'll end up with the young filly you bring back.

You get away with no guilt or tears. It does work 😉


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:22 am
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After the exams


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:23 am
 hora
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Unfortunately there would never be a good time to split up

Totally agree. You will still be in the same position next year if you put it off. Same goes with 'after the exams'. You'll still be having sex with her and more importantly misleading her. If you are fond of her you will do the right thing.

Again, best of luck. My sis in law is going through the samething at the moment with her (ex)boyfriend but from the otherside of the fence.


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:29 am
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You never know - she might secretly be wanting rid of you too....


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:32 am
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thanks - I shall wait, I don't want to put any more unnecessary stress on her during a stressful time, we still get on fine, I've just fallen out of love.


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:32 am
 hora
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I've just fallen out of love

Are you sure? Could it be a phase/other issues- stressful work etc? Ive been with my GF for 18yrs, its not always up, up, up. Sometimes intense, other times stressful (work/external factors).


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:34 am
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Ouch


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:35 am
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If she's stressed maybe you'll see her old self again when the exams are over.

In a nutshell, don't take anyones advice on your own relationship, especially so on a forum - only you know what is right for the both of you.


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:38 am
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not here for advice as such, just canvassing opinions to see what food for thought I get.


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:41 am
 hora
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Princejohn- understand. If you were to ask from a female perspective Im sure a females answer would be 'straight away' whereas us blokes think practically. Hence when a girl lets a guy down its always very 'final'. Guys tend to let things slide.

Maybe alittle generalisation in there. Repost with the header 'girls, your advice please'?


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:44 am
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It's always going to come as a surprise to her, the meanest* things about breaking up is that the Breaker has always had time to comes to terms with the decision, that the breakee has never had.

Do it sooner rather than later.

*Not meant in a pejorative sense to you particularly


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:48 am
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interesting hora...a good generalisation


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:48 am
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"Ive been with my GF for 18yrs, its not always up, up, up. "

It is when she's a blow up doll mate 🙂


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:50 am
 hora
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"Ive been with my GF for 18yrs, its not always up, up, up. "

It is when she's a blow up doll mate

I can't get angry with that. Class post of the day for me 😀


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:54 am
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PMSL!


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 9:56 am
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After the exams. And be specially nice to her & supportive until they're over.

** one to ponder** You're not a bit jealous cos she's going back to Uni, are you? **


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 10:00 am
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no not all. It's something that I've been supportive off as she hates her current career & wants to something a bit more meaningful.


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 10:11 am
 Pyro
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Worked the other way for me. I got dumped two weeks before my finals, having been with someone for 4 years. In a sense, it worked out quite well because my first instinct was to put my head down and work like hell for the exams - the end of a relationship wasn't going to mean the end of my career prospects.

Like others have said - there's never a good time.


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 10:12 am
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My girlfriends horrible during exams, or anything academic which is examined (essays, dissertation, etc).

Currently doing her BSc. finals as I type - but she's looking towards doing a MSc, then PhD.

Help!

(I'm sure your girlfriend will return to 'normal' soon - all part of relationships!)


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 10:23 am
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but she's looking towards doing a MSc, then PhD.

She's secretly narking her lecturer, that's all.

😉


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 10:26 am
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(I'm sure your girlfriend will return to 'normal' soon - all part of relationships!)

Yeah - but it isn't just exam stress, I've been feeling this way for quite a bit longer, but it only dawned on me recently!


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 10:27 am
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Simple question: Do you get a boner when you see her naked?

Yes? Stay

No? Leave


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 10:34 am
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sofatester - what about all the other girls that give you boners!? & the ones that give you boners when they aren't quite naked?!


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 10:38 am
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Worked the other way for me. I got dumped two weeks before my finals, having been with someone for 4 years. In a sense, it worked out quite well because my first instinct was to put my head down and work like hell for the exams - the end of a relationship wasn't going to mean the end of my career prospects.

Yup, same thing happened to me during my finals. So instead of going out and having fun with the gf, I got stuck into a lot of work that needed to be done. Mind you, when that was done I went out and got really badly drunk.

Speaking as someone that got divorced at the tender age of 30, there's no good time for a split. But do you need to? What defines love? Do you argue constantly, but still enjoy each other's company? Do the bad times outweigh the good?


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 10:41 am
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You should be single then. Go forth and conquer!

When your on your death bed you will never think - "i wish i had slept with less women during my life"


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 10:43 am
 hora
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When your on your death bed you will never think - "i wish i had slept with less women during my life"

I can honestly say I wish I could sleep with less 🙁


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 10:48 am
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When your on your death bed you will never think - "i wish i had slept with less women during my life"

depends if you die from an STD


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 10:50 am
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That is true, we all have to die of something though.

So have you decided what your going to do PJ?


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 10:52 am
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no - was giving it consideration before I posted here, still am. Going to go on a long contemplative ride over the weekend, where hopefully everything will drop into place & I'll be able to think clearly.


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 10:54 am
 hora
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[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 10:55 am
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A scope on a MP5 for OBUA? That's a bit overkill don't you think Hora? 😆


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 11:02 am
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hora - Member

Ive been with my GF for 18yrs

hora - Member

I can honestly say I wish I could sleep with less [women]

Been playing away Mark?


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 11:06 am
 hora
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Me? No 🙄 Just to imply that Im down and dirty/cool when Im not really


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 11:17 am
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A woman arrived at a party and while scanning the guests, spotted an attractive man standing alone.

She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen."

"That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?"

"No," she replied. "As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men.

Therefore, I chose "Carmen." What's your name?"

He answered "B.J. Titsengolf."


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 12:54 pm
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Just to imply that Im down and dirty/cool when Im not really

I'm shocked


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 1:33 pm
 hora
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One thing to consider when breaking up with a girl. Shes going to get slammed royally in your absence. My ex didnt like me ending it, spent a month trying to get it back then went absolutely shag-crackers. That part hurt me abit actually (as I still liked her a heck of alot) 🙁


 
Posted : 14/05/2009 2:01 pm