Nick, it's the first link on the BBC!
So what silly backset will we have behind Boris' next speech... Nurses or teachers with kids?
Cringeworthy.
So what silly backset will we have behind Boris’ next speech?
A brick wall with a few small holes in it, with any luck.
So what silly backset will we have behind Boris’ next speech… Nurses...
I'd rather crap in my hands and clap than turn up for a photoshoot with that festering anal fistula.
So what silly backset will we have behind Boris’ next speech
Take your pick
Etc.
On Twitter just now (lost the source sadly):
"Talk about kicking a man when he’s down. Show some compassion man. Johnson has a family hiding from him somewhere."
you know that most of the press will show the bit where he says he’s would “rather die in a ditch” and is prepared to have his brother resign rather than not deliver Brexit, while stood in front of a bunch of NEW cops.
You called it perfectly.
Surely he's now being seen for the incompetent Buffoon he really is.
No more handy soundbites or carefully managed appearances.
He's front and centre now and being shown up as the shambolic, stuttering, clueless clownshoe he really is. He inspires absolutely zero confidence.
shown up as the shambolic, stuttering, clueless clownshoe he really is.
Clearly learned from Trump and it appears to work for him.
I've just realised Boris' genius plan. He's already promised to lie in front of a bulldozer to stop Heathrow, so was in a spot of bother before the whole dead in a ditch thing. If he now goes off and finds a suitable ditch near Heathrow he can lie in that in front of the bulldozer, not actually get killed as the bulldozer trundles over him but then say he did his best on two promises with just one muddy suit. And you all though he was a buffoon!
thepurist - by gum, I think you’ve got it! I volunteer to drive the bulldozer, as I’ve never driven one before, but I’d give it a good go, what’s the worst that could happen - might get stuck in a ditch, but, I mean Gove said we don’t need experts for anything. Oh, I’m also volunteering to carry out any surgery that Gove or his family needs, ‘cos y’know, you don’t need experts😁
Probably thinks digital watches are a pretty neat idea too.
Bozo's diary
Monday 2nd August
Excllent weekend, I feel the rebirth of the Tories under my steady hand will leave none in doubt that I'm truly a latter day Churchill.
That egghead Cummings really has a plan! he said with some vehemence he despises lazy, vain and stupid politicians and he assures me that he'll make them suffer. I'm glad Gove recommended we bring him in.
He made me say I really dont want an election, not sure why, I've stuffed old faggy breath farage & corbyns a useless commie.
Carrie has bought a dog, not sure about that but she says it'll be great optics.
Tuesday 3rd August
Those clowns in the opposition think they can make me ask for an extension, Cummings says that anyone who dares defy the PM (well he said 'defy him', but hes obviously talking about me) will be out on their arses. That'll put whiny Hammond in his place.
The dog is pissing and shitting everywhere, Carrie says she can train dogs to be loyal.
Wednesday 4th August
**** last night was a disaster, Cummings made me fire 20 of my MPs, he tells me it's all part of the plan, not seen him today, he was smashed last night hes got through a case of my best wines and half my coke.
It's ok I'm sure the old boys in the lord's will block it.
The dog did piss on Goveys shoes so I think we'll keep it around.
Thursday 5th August
Cummings tells me it's going to be OK, he's got a strong plan to send out a law and order message.
Some of my MPs are a bit annoyed about me firing old Soamsey, still, love and war !
Bugger now Jo has quit too, hes still angry because he caught me cheating at monopoly last Xmas, must be that.
Also a police cadet fainted behind me, silly girl, obviously doesn't get how important this is to me !
Leeds was even worse than I expected, this must have been how Alexander felt as he entered the barbarian lands.
Friday 6th August
Corbyn wont give me my election, not sure Cummings plan to take away my majority was the best, but he tells me he's got a stellar plan for a fried chicken gag.
Had to go to bloody Scotland too, they hate me up there.
Could'nt even take it out on Carrie, in case Saj overheard, went to kick the dog but slipped in a turd and fell on my arse.
😂😂😂😂
I like the fact you added he doesn't even know what month it is.
Does he actually think he’s still at school?
Boris Johnson calls David Cameron ‘a girly swot’ in leaked memo
Boris Johnson calls David Cameron ‘a girly swot’ in leaked memo
Hopefully Cameron looks at the draft of his book and quickly checks what he has written about Johnson and smiles.
He's working on the basis that if he does go against the law requiring him to request an extension, by that point the criminal justice system will have been reduced to rubble sufficiently that he'll never be prosecuted anyway....
long read but worth it
https://thesecretbarrister.com/2019/08/13/dont-fall-for-boris-johnsons-criminal-justice-con-tricks/
I love this picture of the petulant kid with what seems to be horns growing out of his head.
Straight horns, to adhere to the ghastly EU mandate that said we need straight bananas.
And horns.
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He wants to go down in history: 'BloJo'.
You'd think one of his advisors would have told him that petulantly banging his hand on the box the microphones are bolted to is really bloody annoying
If he now resigns he will then be able to have never won a vote. Joy
Is this what the tories mean by "<i>strong and stable government</i>"?
If he now resigns he will then be able to have never won a vote. Joy
The sooner this clown ceases to represent our country the better. Hopefully it will all end in a lot of tears and that dangerous Mekon lookalike will get the boot along with him.
"Boris Johnson is the first prime minister to have been found by a court to have misled a king or queen."
another achievement for him.
To be fair to him he does want to be remembered by history and he probably will be. He might even enter the language. Fk me pal, you've made a right Boris of that
No longer the party of Law & Order
No longer the party of business
Not trying to conserve anything
Tories are just a windsock that flaps around wildly as farage bellows populist nonsense into them
According to Dominic Grieve, Boris is likely to be the first PM to be found in contempt of parliament if all the Yellowhammer stuff hasn't been released by next week.
That'll be another first to add to his rapidly lengthening list
That’ll be another first to add to his rapidly lengthening list
of course we have to look at this in the context of the Trump administration. We can't take any comfort from Johnson's incompetence as it comes as no surprise -like Trump he established himself as incompetent long ago and got the job anyway. For anyone else this string of failures would do huge reputatonal damage.
Blair had 4 defeats in his whole tenure as PM. Same number for Thatcher. Four defeats per decade verses six in a week.
But him being shit at the job doesn't matter to the people who put him in power, and it won't do any damage to his popularity.
I've said this before - Boris's job is to **** things up, and he's making a good fist of it.
JP
the yellowhammer stuff's been released.
https://news.sky.com/story/operation-yellowhammer-government-no-deal-brexit-documents-released-11807339?fbclid=IwAR3YusL6jV3LuALuj4DVvCGb1gPESf4MCMQb3PmLWszjbGsyYtENdaI5XYo
Just when you thought he couldn't lose the plot any further,
https://metro.co.uk/2019/09/12/boris-insists-bridge-ireland-scotland-cost-15000000000-10731523
The most shamelessly political bridge idea since Putin connected up Crimea.
You could knock a good chunk off the road journey timen to NI by dualing the road from Gretna to Stranraer, at a fraction of the cost.
The cost:benefit of this bridge would be hilarious, versus say building a proper rail connections betweens Manchester / Leeds / Liverpool / Hull / Sheffield or 15bn of proper cyle infrastructure.
We should just drain the Irish Sea and have done with it.
It's just another one of his crappy "dead cat" things isn't it?
Other may disagree, perchy;
The sea, oh the sea is the gradh geal mo croide
Long may it stay between England and me
It's a sure guarantee that some hour we'll be free
Oh, thank God we're surrounded by water
We should have three bridges then.
Ardrossan to Brodick
Arran to Campbelltown
Mull of Kintyre Lighthouse to Norn Iron.
Probably cheaper. Enough change left to build a wall up the middle of the English Channel. Probably.
That would be brilliant perchy,they could be garden bridges.
Oh come on perchy, Boris' "mission" is to Make Britain Great Again, mainly by Painting Fibs on Busses.
Not Scotland.
Aye, we could flatten Goat Fell for building material.
Aye, we could flatten Goat Fell for building material
Use it to fill in the Beaufort’s Dyke..... carefully!
(Having read last night about the trawler men who hauled up a drum of mustard gas)
I see his advisers haven't quite cracked where to make him stand when he's out and about.
