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was that a star wars reference? sorry...
i was just thinking how lucky i was - things like this 'always happen to other people'
then i realised i've only ever met my aunt once. i don't think my mum knows where she lives, what she is doing etc. afaik my grandparents also have minimal contact with her too - an xmas card at most i think.
i'd be interested in knowing what went on, but its not the kind of thing me and my mum really talk about.
all this talk of disowned. Lets talk about owning someone now!
With Bombers? I could do that to a few family members, alive or otherwise.
Lost contact with my sister, not spoken in years, she just decided one day to stop getting in touch and the rest is history.
Her husband/family are a waste of time and energy, we were all glad to see the back of them....but life goes on and we all have our own lives to live...
Sad in a way but hey ho...
I have only one thing to add to this thread. My mother and her mum were never very close. She was far closer to her dad (who died when I was about 18 months old) and I know she still misses him.
My mum had loads of arguments with her mum, cutting off contact for years at a time, more than once, which naturally affected us kids.
Her mum, my grandma, used to look after me when I was little before I started school, so I remember good times.
She died at home when I was in my late 20s. I'd not seen or spoken to her for many years, because of the rift with my mum. I could have ignored this and visited. I guess I would have been welcomed, but it's not what you think of when you're living 150 miles away and having fun, is it?
When she died her neighbour came to the funeral. She said to me "Ohh, you're Peter, your grandma used to talk about you, she really loved you"
Which, to be honest, effing ruined me. I've never felt so bad in my life, ever. I cried my eyes out for a couple of hours.
So when my other grandma was at deaths door, I went to visit. My dad said it wasn't going to be a pretty sight, and I didn't have to go (500+ mile round trip) and he was right, but I had to go.
I dunno if she even knew I was there, I doubt it, but I held her hand and told her I loved her. She died that week, which was a blessing to be truthful. This time I felt relieved that her pain was gone, and I remember her with smiles and fondness
What I'm trying to say is that, FFS, don't leave it be. DO NOT put off calling for whatever reason. Pick up the phone. Get in the car. Talk. Visit.
If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But at least you won't be left feeling guilty.
On this day the 12th of February, 24 years ago, I watched QPR beat my (at the time) beloved Liverpool on their stupid synthetic pitch. I was studying English poetry at my desk in the study - Mum had relented and let me back in to watch the second half in the kitchen with her, but not with my dad in the sitting room because she knew he'd wind me up too much. It was a Wednesday night - Ash Wednesday as it happens (bigger deal in Ireland than here) but Dad was still going out for his Wednesday night beer with his mates.
He never made it out of the sitting room.
At 49 going on 50, he stood up but fell back down - the doctors said he was probably gone before he even hit the floor.
He left a shocked and stunned 14 year old DD, sister DD and mummy DD behind with not a clue what we were going to do next.
I wish the ****er (who I'd probably have one of those "difficult" father son relationships with) was still around if only for my Mum who has spent the last 24 years with no man in her life apart from a son who gave her sleepless nights until she finally dragged him through Uni and he left home.
I was replying to the thread not the bloke whos missus had been playing away. Shoot her!
My mum and dad came to me at 15 and said they were moving to the other end of the country and as i was doing my gcse's and had a steady girlfriend at the time i could stay behind in the house till i had finished.
This may sound like a nice idea but i have resented them every day untill this day for it. I have felt deserted from that day and have never asked them for a moments help even though it has been needed. In return over 20yrs later i get a call every 4-6mths and i once got a set of boxer shorts off them for a present. Otherwise i may as well not had any parents.
Before that i had a great family and my dad was the action hero i always wanted. Army man, family man, sportsman, everything. Then they upped ships and buggered off.
Now i have kids i have made efforts to 'integrate' them back into the fold and to even get them to move back as my other brother is the same, settled with family locally. Not a chance.
I didnt bat an eyelid when my dad announced he had cancer of the bowel about 10yrs ago. Whats it got to do with me?
On the other hand, i was taken in by my girlfriends family and came out of it with far more than i lost imo.
Thought provoking thread. My old man would take his belt off at the drop of a hat, and I'd get a proper ferkin hiding. My mum used to use a cane or a wooden spoon FFS!!
Grew up and at around 15-16 years old, I snapped and on different occasions hit back, requiring both of them to need a visit to hospital with broken bones. That was the final straw really and I was soon kicked out. Still feel shit for hitting my mum. That was a line I should never of crossed.
Fast forward 25 years and we get together for Christmas and my kids birthdays etc, but when I compare how close my family is compared to my wifes family...mine is a joke really.
Pretty sure if I was not married and had no kids, there would be no contact with them. In fact thinking about it now, we never saw them until we had kids.
LitlestHobo: Aren't you saying that with the Army, your father was posted elsewhere?
Not that he had any choice in the matter, as you'll know from Army life.