[Closed] Being asked to contribute to a friends party expenses by his spouse?

Having a whip round for a funeral sounds a bit harsh 😐

It is odd I would never do such a thing

But if it is a good friend I would pay

I went to a new years party once after being there 5 mins they came and asked for cash towards the food (didn't know that was coming) anyway me and another mate were found eating the gateauxs straight out of the packet. The hostess wasn't impressed 😀 I'd had my tea before going so I was having desert.

Don’t be hasty to think it's a cheek – the fare might be a veritable smorgasbord of delightful delicacies and well worth a nominal contribution. If not, get lashed, cut-up-rough and create a scene by throwing sloppy trifle and stale Vol-Au-Vent's at the hostess and any guests that have annoyed you over the years.

a)they're flush as

You don't get rich by spending your own money.

[url=

didn't get rich by writing a lot of cheques[/url]

Is she planning a Chinese buffet?
[img] https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSnkVsO3JaGufO_0O9-e6co1s2XfQIwBOcawnCv1fUdozKhPxxQKA [/img]

Say its fine, and ask for an itemised bill to see that she isn't paying herself a wage for all her hard work.

mrs has a friend who must be your mates wifes sister.. kids partys its bring food, adult gatherings its can you cover the cost of desserts i was once asked to service the gas fire before the party as my contribution.. teachers.. i havent accepted an invite since..

I don't really mind, but a)they're flush as b)have no kids and c)are both on great incomes. Really great....

Is this odd, or is just me?

i would happily pay if they really needed it/the party would not happen any other way or I really wanted to go.
This is just mean IMHO.

Not normal.

You should pay with luncheon vouchers.

I'd be breaking out the Tupperware and taking a packed lunch.

Pay and enjoy! I hope the buffet is superb, if its not we need pics!

def a bit odd......

.......and if its just for buffet! not drinks thats a bloody expensive buffet!!

[url= http://www.iandbcatering.co.uk/shop/page/9?shop_param= ]a good guage of buffet costs[/url]

How many people are going? If it's over 100 I can maybe understand. Regardless forgot convention, he's a mate and you'd spend much more on a meal out.

Showed this one around my local. Unamous bring a bottle or plate, asking for cash is just cheap and nasty !!! I wouldn't go mate or not.

I wouldn't go mate or not.

Surprised there are so many cheapskates on here. I think the OP is just jealous when he says

I don't really mind, but a)they're flush as b)have no kids and c)are both on great incomes.

(I don't really believe half of this stuff)

Odd. Very odd. You don't invite people to a party and then charge them. Just tell them you'll eat before you get there.

I've never charged anyone for coming to my house for dinner. It's a what goes around comes around thing. So if over the years everyone puts a meal/occasion on it evens out. So, have you ever had these people around for dinner?

Personally I would be a bit miffed as she is obviously showing some resistance to doing it, by putting a small block in the way. It's a small amount of money really but what's going off here is a bit awkward and it would wind me up no end.

I would basically make my excuses and not go and offer an alternative to your mate. But then I hate penny pinching.

And as for friendships being worth less a tenner; not at all. Offer to take mate out for birthday meal instead, or cook for free?

Would definetly go if only to take the piss out of mate for having such a nightmare of a wife.
Had a mate in work who was the loudest and most outrageous guy you'd ever meet, but I front of his wife he had been castrated.
The look on your mates face when he finds out you know what he's got to put up with will be pure comedy gold. Worth at least a tenner I say.

Maybe from her pov she's not inviting her guests to her house, she's organising a party on behalf of a group of her husband's friends. In which case I suspect this will be the last time, judging from the skinflint responses.

[i]It is odd and it is not you[/i]

+1

Never heard of anyone doing this either. But then if he was a really good mate you'd know already how his Misses works/thinks, so maybe not that good a mate.

And there is a world of difference between spending £10 and been asked for £10.

Evidently your friendship isn't worth "north of a tenner".
Surprised there are so many cheapskates on here.

LOL at Konabunny! Slightly tongue in cheek I believe. 'Course I'm not jealous..... 🙄

(and I haven't mentioned exactly how much the amount was in case anyone else on STW recognises this, and them, and embarrasses him in some way. It was significantly more than a tenner....)

DrJ- I think you've probably hit the nail on the head re his wife's thoughts. That would explain it.

I sort of get it . My girlfriend now wife organised my 40th at a restaurant everyone paid their own and brought booze . No one objected and given her finances and it being a surprise for me it would never of happened otherwise .
For other events though it is more normal not to ask for anything . Within my small group of friends it is normally for the host to lay on the food and an adequate supply of drink and the guests to bring at least enough booze to cover their own consumption normally the entire groups this tends to mean sore heads all round the next day.

Do you get an entry ticket?

My 30th was 10 years ago and we had a big house party. Most of our friends were struggling artists / students. We spent about £200 on meat and beer and invited everyone round (granted, not a surprise, buy hey!). People came from all over the country - good opportunity to catch up with old mates.

Asking for money is plain rude and she is clearly not in synch with the rest of humanity. That said, in your case I'd still cough up and go. Then pebbledash the toilet.

Do you get an entry ticket?

I'd want an access all areas pass if she's that tight!

😉

codybrennan - Member
Strange one this, etiquette wise.

Mate is getting sprung a surprise party for a significant year by his OH. She's surreptitiously finding out who can and can't make it.

I'd said yes- he's a great lad- and she seemed pleased.

However, a formal invite has arrived to the do, and there within is a little note, asking me to contribute a sum of money (north of £10) for the buffet.

I'm assuming all other guests have also been asked to do this.

I don't really mind, but a)they're flush as b)have no kids and c)are both on great incomes. Really great....

Is this odd, or is just me? I'd planned on getting him some kind of pressie too.

as above if they are rich,and you not so,tell her to shove the invite 😉 the cheek of it.

Yup.
Tell her to whistle.

But take your mate out, just the two of you and buy him a few beers.
Don't invite Madame Gnats-Chuff.

Good idea. Take your mate out and tell him how you spoiled his wife's idea for a surprise party for want of a tenner. I'm sure he'll see the funny side.

Good idea. Take your mate out and tell him how you spoiled his wife's idea for a surprise party for want of a tenner. I'm sure he'll see the funny side.

Well it made me laugh!!