[Closed] Beards

Beards are a by product of being too lazy to shave.'Grooming, style, general care and maintenance' sort of defeats the point of the former.

So, just leave it then?

#yourmilagemayvary
I err toward 'vagrant' at the best of times.

I grew a beard did nothing to it bar wash when washed my hair I looked like a tramp

Shave, then you won't look a) like a hipster or b) 20 years older or c) like Charles Manson.

Just sayin' like.... 😉

Look in mirror. Are there any straggly bits? If so, trim them, if not, ignore. Done.

You can get beard[s]snake[/s]oil, I havent used it but apparently it keeps it looking nice.

I got a Lush face pack thing for xmas that's formulated especially for beards... god knows how. Just makes my beard smell of pineapple.

I had one for about 18 months but shaved it off during the summer when it all became a bit hot (seems like distant memory). A friend noted that I looked a lot younger without it but had lost my gravitas.....

newrobdob - Member
Shave, then you won't look a) like a hipster

Do you not drive an old volvo estate?

I do pretty much nothing to mine other than wash it when I wash my hair.

I tend to look like hell, though.

[quote=Rorschach ]Beards are a by product of being too lazy to shave.'Grooming, style, general care and maintenance' sort of defeats the point of the former.

Not really. It's still more lazy to have a beard - once a week with the trimmers vs. every day with shaving cream, razor and lots of faff. Well kept beards look like you're putting in more effort than you really are. Straggly beards which have no effort put into them at all look like you've given up on life.

I just let mine grow and comb it/wash it.

It looks OK in a quite rounded way.

I stop shaving at the end of October (British Shaving Time) and that's me until it warms up again in the Spring. My Mrs bought me a beard trimmer last Christmas. I think that's a hint. 😆

All men should be aware that as they get older, their beards tend to take on a certain kind of aroma which should ideally be kept in check.

😆

I have used a beard balm, much better to use than oil. Means you can get the beard in to some kind of shape if you have lots of bits poking out here and there. I also use a beard brush with thick bristles, always after showering and drying.

Apart from the balm, do not buy the 'beard moisturiser' etc. that are on the shelves in Boots, just a cheap shampoo and conditioner a couple of times a week does the job.

Keep the neck line and cheek lines clean until it's grown out a bit to keep it looking smart.

Straight down from the back of the side burns and then across the adams apple, youll figure out a line that suits your face/neck shape with practice. it helps if you have more than one mirror so you can see what it looks like from the side.

If you have some clippers or a trimmer, as its growing, use progressivley bigger guards until the beard is grade 3 or 4 legnth to keep the legnth even all over and avoid stray straggly hairs.

The neck line is critical, dont be tempted to have it high up following your jaw line, it needs to be lower: [url= https://www.beards.org/neck.php ]https://www.beards.org/neck.php[/url]

One it's beyond this legnth you can start shaping it properly.

aracer » It's still more lazy to have a beard - [b]once a week with the trimmers[/b] vs. every day with shaving cream, razor and lots of faff.

Once a week?! Once a year, maybe...

Ignore the clean shaven boys. Embrace the beard!

Don’t attempt to do anything shape-wise for the first month. Then visit a good barber and have them shape it. Most folk cut the neckline too high and end up with clown face if they do it themselves.

Are you planning on a proper beard or something that doesn’t grow past the chin? Short beard, just scrub well to remove dead skin or you’ll get dandruff. Long beard, do that plus the below.

Get a decent balm (oil doesn’t give any hold) from Mariner Jack or Fellows, ditto for shampoo. Buy a decent comb (Kent are good) and a boar hair brush. Brush or comb once a day, apply balm every other day starting at the roots and working outwards. Use the brush or comb to finish. Shampoo once or twice a week depending on how oily your skin is.

Ignore the hipster jibes. I’ve had a beard for years, long before it became popular. Cut it last year and looked like the offspring of Moby and Casper the friendly ghost.

Remember, if you’re Dad hasn’t got a beard you’ve got two Mums 😉

mattyfez - Member
Keep the neck line and cheek lines clean until it's grown out a bit to keep it looking smart.
Straight down from the back of the side burns and then across the adams apple, youll figure out a line that suits your face/neck shape with practice. it helps if you have more than one mirror so you can see what it looks like from the side.
If you have some clippers or a trimmer, as its growing, use progressivley bigger guards until the beard is grade 3 or 4 legnth to keep the legnth even all over and avoid stray straggly hairs.
The neck line is critical, dont be tempted to have it high up following your jaw line, it needs to be lower: https://www.beards.org/neck.php
One it's beyond this legnth you can start shaping it properly.

Brilliant.... nice post.

Same as scotroutes,I stop shaving at BST till Spring, but recently [s]all[/s] one of my friends has taken to pointing at me and shouting "Harold Shipman" .
Oh how we laugh 👿 🙂

i grow mine long enough to comb over my bald patch

Rorschach » Beards are a by product of being too lazy to shave.'Grooming, style, general care and maintenance' sort of defeats the point of the former.
Not really. It's still more lazy to have a beard - once a week with the trimmers vs. every day with shaving cream, razor and lots of faff. Well kept beards look like you're putting in more effort than you really are. Straggly beards which have no effort put into them at all look like you've given up on life.

Always see this and chuckle. I trim stragglers every day and look after my beard properly. It takes more time and effort than just running a razor over my face. Trimmers 😯 scissors only and a good straight razor for shaping

I have one every 2 weeks. Then I shave it off, I can't deal with regular wet shaving as it wrecks my skin. It's not normal how fast mine seems to grow!

Had a wet shave last night and my wife always tells me I look ten years younger clean shaven.

Try trimming it into a shape from an early start, then keep that shape as it thickens in.

[quote=funkmasterp ]It takes more time and effort than just running a razor over my face.

How much of that time is spent admiring it in the mirror? 😈

I'll take back my comment about it looking like you're putting more effort than you actually are in your case 😉

How much of that time is spent admiring it in the mirror?

Most of it 😳

For me a beard is an unfortunate practical necessity which makes day to day life livable. I wish I could be clean shaven but alas I cannot, because beneath my trampy beard hides a shockingly beautiful man of unimaginable sexual attraction.

Were I to shave and expose this masterpiece the level of sexual pestering from women, men, trans, intersex, a-sexual and even dead people would basically make my life hell.

But carry on boasting about your optional lifestyle beards. Inconsiderate ****s 😉

Keep the neck & cheeks neat, as Mrs Madhouse says, it looks more like you intended to have a beard rather than couldn't be arsed to shave.

Mine's only a recent addition (October last year), think it'll be a keeper though.

If you're gonna groom it you might as well shave.

[quote=madhouse ]Keep the neck & cheeks neat, as Mrs Madhouse says, it looks more like you intended to have a beard rather than couldn't be arsed to shave.

This - I should admit I'm currently sporting mutton chops (the version with a moustache joining them together) and it looks a lot better on me than a full beard did, even when I trimmed it. Surprising how much less time it takes to shave the bits I do still shave.

I have a beard for practical reasons, not aesthetic ones. The thicker and more coverage the better.

First time beard grower here and looking for advice/tips on grooming, style, general care and maintenance.

I have 50 minutes till i leave work.... GO!

I hate to break it to you, but it's going to take a lot longer than that.

Same as scotroutes,I stop shaving at BST till Spring

Likewise. I disagree with the lazy comments, by March I've got fed up of maintaining my beard and revert to shaving. Usually.

shaved mine off this morning. I miss it 🙁

Cougar

I hate to break it to you, but it's going to take a lot longer than that.

Maybe, maybe not. 😀

I tend to look like hell, though.

You look like a hipster. Especially with the roadie cap.

Do you not drive an old volvo estate?

I wasn't aware that was what hipsters drove? Don't they all go around on fixies?

Mind you there are a lot of beards in the old Volvo community, but mainly Swedish "our chins will fall off from the cold otherwise" type beards

Beards are a by product of being too lazy to shave.'Grooming, style, general care and maintenance' sort of defeats the point of the former

Yeah you just know that below fellow and ilk only keeps a beard so doesn't have to spend 2 mins with the shaver every morning:

[img] [/img]

🙂

Beards are natural. Judgment of (and obsessing with) beards comes and goes, like fashion.

newrobdob - Member
Shave, then you won't look a) like a hipster
Do you not drive an old volvo estate?

Not very often. He can’t afford the fuel.

i grow mine long enough to comb over my bald patch

It's a strong look RD!

I have a trimmer to keep it at a certain length that i use roughly every week. When i shower i use conditioner on it and then Argon oil after i dry it (cause the wife has this oil so why not).

I refuse to go to any more effort and even this seems a lot.

Grow a beard then moustache it. Dare to dream

[img] [/img]

Combing in the shower whilst lathered up helps easily remove any tangles (I have a very curly beard).

Then as above, apply some balm/oil if you're feeling fancy (helps to tame fuzz), and trim any stragglers with a small pair of scissors.

If you aren't particularly happy to be approached by bear hunters then don't be tempted to spend too long cutting/defining your beard - An immaculate thatch is like a beacon.

Get used to being called 'Hipster' and 'Bear'.

Grow a beard then moustache it. Dare to dream

....about looking like Borat?

I was asked if I was Turkish, I can't deny it.

I was asked if I was Turkish, I can't deny it.

That’s an epic, classic Cop Stache right there. My moustache is the weak link in my facial hair. Have to keep it short 🙁

 

Like a stache it's a lot of work if you want to look 'dapper'. If not just let it grow.

Funkmaster has some good advice.

Oiling the beard prevents dry skin and beard balm helps with grooming it.

After some time I got fed up with all the grooming and it also got expensive. Look much younger now but as Gavin Pearce said you do lose the gravitas.

Grew it for 'Beards for Bairns' the other year.

Was told that as it covered up a bit of my face, it was a good thing. This was from Mrs B. Personally, I like to think it makes me look a bit like those gents on some of those pseudo SAS programmes on television....the mirrors are different in our house!

Local Turkish barber gives it a good tidy up about once per month. I hate it when the bits around the mouth start tickling....

However, wet-shave around the neck and cheeks every other day to keep it sharp. Gets a good wash every shower too.

After some time I got fed up with all the grooming and it also got expensive

? Costs me about £5 a year to maintain. If that, as others frequently give balms etc for xmas.
Takes me about 5mins a week to stay on top of, instead of a daily shave.

How much is a years supply of Gilette Mach 6 Diamond Evolution Blade Tech Pro's these days?

Plus, i'd be lost if I couldn't regularly sit all contemplative by stroking my chinny weave.

Had a short trimmed beard for eight years this week. Number four on the trimmer, with razor on the neck and cheeks every few days. Trimmed once a week. Never had skin so good to be honest. Being red means it doesn't look scruffy when left a few days.

Not a fan of anything longer though.

Had a variable-length goatee for almost decade, then went for the metalhead long goatee for most of the next one, then just grew the damn thing out. Only bothered doing much to it now it's fuller and feels wirier (it's quite curly too).

Olive/avocado/almond oil (I'm a tight git) doesn't seem to cut it so after a shower/bath, just rubbing some leave-in conditioned through it helps soften it up.
Best one I've found - c/o my OH - is KMS Moist Repair, but it's bloomin' expensive (15 quid for 125ml, mebbe a tenner on ebay if you're lucky). As a guess, tried some more afro-targetted stuff - ORS Curls Unleashed (!) Leave-In conditioning Creme isn't bad, cheap at about 6-7 quid from Boots for 454g but a bit sticky, whilst the ORS equivalent Shea Butter/Mango Leave-In Conditioner *isn't* sticky but similarly cheapish at 6-7 quid for 355ml and does most of the job of the KMS..and you don't feel so bad about using it every time you get a shower at the gym. Smells okish too, tho' not my first choice.
On-and-off I've brushed the conditioner through but it just seems to consolidate any tangles - combing through with fingers seems to work better. Using conditioner in the bath/shower seems to have little effect by comparison. YMMV..

Tho' I probably wouldn't bother at all (as I didn't) unless the beard's more than an inch or two, assuming it grows out fairly quickly.

Oh, and I'm probably to old to be called a hipster, but it's slightly weird being complimented on yer beard whilst piddling at the urinal of some craft beer boozer...

slimjim78 - I should say I'm a bit cack handed at the grooming and trimming and don't trust myself anywhere near a trimmer :lol:, so I used to take myself to the barber once a month 15£ for a tidy up or 30£ for the whole enchilada

When I made the mistake of shaving mine off last year all my friends and family asked when it was coming back. You don’t look right was the main consensus 😀

I'm all one for winter plumage myself & Mrs DB loves playing "guess what my husband's been noshing on today" as you might have guessed I don't spend much on grooming products 😳

Don't stroke it, you'll look like a bond villain

Don't stroke it, you'll look like a bond villain

Thought that was cats?

I used to take myself to the barber once a month

If a man approaches my face with a razor it triggers my NAM flashbacks.

I made the mistake of shaving mine off last year

The only time MrsSLim has seen me cleanshaven was when I cut the lot off for an interview.
She opened the door and her face dropped - then she told me I looked like a fat baby on chemo.

I shave my head with problem free but I hate shaving my face as it takes a full day to recover from the burn/rash I get then its time to shave again. Can't be bothered with a beard so I just use clippers with no guard and go over my face once a week with that. Been doing that since my 20's and will likely do so for the rest of my life.

Had a big beard coming up to Christmas, the amount of racial abuse I got from stokie * for looking like a dirty * ****Arab shoe bomber was getting daft. Now back to a neat goatee.

Stoke on Trent...you really are and endless cesspit of ignorance and disappointment.

I had some initial resistance, makes you look old /hipster etc.

Now when I shave it off completely once a year for my summer holiday, my head looks like that of a baby turtle, and the same people complain that I look really weird without one!

I don't have a classicly desirable chiseled jaw line though, so a carefully shaped beard creates one for me 8)

Mine is only to make up for the lack of fertile follicles on my Barnet, and I keep it trimmed to a no.2 and a nice clean line around the jaw, no hair on neck.

Any longer I look even dafter than usual...

Stopped at bst like scotroutes et all.

Have not touched it other than washing and beard balm

Get out the shower and fall very much into shaggy vagrant camp.

After some beard balm I can get it into a presentable shape.

Top tip that seems to stop it going stringy/itchy/scratchy steal the wife's conditioner makes a huge difference I find.

Keeps me warm on cold winter rides don't need to wear a buff up over my mouth any more

My beard is awful, it doesn't grow on my cheeks far enough and my moustache doesn't join onto my beard...

But alternative is shaving everyday **** that

I bought a hair trimmer when I was 16 to shave my head (undercut, this was the early 90s lol) and have been using that for my beard ever since. No other grooming necessary, unless you are going full Craig David..

Ha wiggles -mines shit too .

[IMG] [/IMG]

Squint helmet is what happens when you remove your Tammy and replace it with a buff while riding .

haha that is basically my beard but a bit longer (and more ginger... although mine does appear to be going a bit that way!)

OTOH I still have to shave my cheeks to avoid looking full wookie.

I stopped shaving in May.

1992 I think. Not been clean shaven since. More than half my life has been hirsute. It’s older than some of my coworkers 😆

In my racing days it was barely more than two three weeks stubble.

4 or 5 years ago I decided to test the it ain’t a beard til you need to decide under or over the duvet.

I attack it from time to time with nail scissors and hair clippers. The only concession I’ve made is combined shampoo and conditioner shampoo (every other day). I have to comb it after washing as it gets all tangled otherwise.

Think some way between Theodore Kaczynski and Billy Gibbons (prob leaning more the the unabomber though... 😳 )

Yup ginger and grey is mine.

It's growing on the wife .... Initially she hates it.

It's growing on the wife

Didn't realise beards were contagious 😯

Yup beards are like tribbles.

once a week with the trimmers vs. every day with shaving cream, razor and lots of faff

Daren't let it grow into a proper beard for fear of looking like Ken Bates 😯

For balance.

Metal hearts beard is totally the shit. Propper beardage.

Following some over exuberant manscaping this morning my beard has been clippered off. Starting the next one from today.

Long live the beard.

[img] [/img]
Shave it off and leave the handlebar for an easy fancy dress costume

Get mine trimmed when I get my hair cut, quarterly.

Had a beard for getting on for 3 years now I think, MrsTHtobe has forbidden shaving. She’s seen pictures of my former [s]child[/s] self