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Have finally been persuaded by friends to go on a date, after holding firm for ages (they bizarely seem to think that sharing my life with a dog, 4 bikes and a load of climbing kit isn't sufficient ..)
But I've never done 'dating' (last time I was single in the dim and distant past it was more just a case of evolving friendships), and my toes are curling at the mere thought of it. Which is a shame, cos he seems like a nice chap, and I have a feeling that I'm going to do this wrong 🙁
He asked what I fancied doing, so I suggested heading up one of the mountains in Snowdonia. Which I'd much prefer as then I can pretend I'm just meeting a friend and it doesn't have anything to do with all that dating malarky. But it is December, and the weather will be pants, so I'll be wearing full waterproofs and a woolly hat - practical, but maybe not conveying the right 'look'!
So, those of you who have more familiarity with the world of dating than me, but are also into 'outdoor stuff' - am I doing this completely wrong? Is just being yourself the right thing to do?
PS - there is a very high chance that I'll just run a mile and avoid the whole situation ...
Can't you meet up in a cafe in the daytime? It's always less pressure than at night.
I don't think what you describe would be a first good date...
Damn ... wrong forum as per usual. Sorry!
holding firm for ages
This might help 😈
Although on a more serious note, why not find something generally outdoorsy but indoors or at least with less exposure to the elements so you can have a chance to get to know the chap a bit?
Lunchtime is a good time to meet so you can leave mid afternoon if you want or extend the [s]date[/s] occasion into the evening if you both want
flip - MemberCan't you meet up in a cafe in the daytime? It's always less pressure than at night.
This +1
Have finally been persuaded by friends to go on a date, after holding firm for ages [b](they bizarely seem to think that sharing my life with a dog, 4 bikes and a load of climbing kit isn't sufficient ..)[/b]
Time to change your friends I think.
Just go for it, do what you want to do and be yourself. It will be who you are that he's interested in and not what you are, no?
Enjoy.
[img] http://www.smileys4me.com/getsmiley.php?show=2133 [/img]
How about taking him to a climbing wall? It's been a while since I was up there - but "The Beacon" in llanberis was good.
http://www.beaconclimbing.com/section.php/2/1/climbing-centre
You'll find out if he's a wuss too.....
Don't step through the Cornice
Apart from that would suggest maybe a stroll round cwm idwal then maybe further up if it's going well!
Took my now fiance for a snowey trip round edale on the bikes for our first date (met at the wall first though)
Less height more conversation!
Aye, and on a climbing wall they can spend all afternoon staring at your bum without looking like a pervert...
Pint of tea at Pete's Eats before any outdoor action, then you can just bail if he's unsuitable.
He asked what I fancied doing, so I suggested heading up one of the mountains in Snowdonia. Which I'd much prefer as then I can pretend I'm just meeting a friend and it doesn't have anything to do with all that dating malarky.
To start with, you are just meeting a friend and there's nothing more to it. Clearly the outdoor lifestyle is a major part of your life, so Snowdonia in December is going to sort the wheat from the chaff fairly quickly 🙂 I guess a disadvantage might be that if you find you have nothing to say to each other it could be an awkward few hours. Probably be fine though and you'll just have an enjoyable time. The point of dating is to have fun, which is difficult if you're not sure how to act. It's far easier just to be yourself and let the other person see if they enjoy your company. Flouncing on a first date is frowned upon though 😉
I have absolutely no sensible or appropriate advice to give, other than Elfin's Fabled Dating Tips:
Check please! 😀
brief a friend to call you after you think you'll have formed an opinion as if your cat/goldfish/wildebeest/tbd/heating has broken/tbd is very ill you'll have to go immediately
can you do a short walk (hourish) followed by lunch (*I can't see you chatting/communicating much on a windy/crap etc hoods up type day so maybe build in an early lunch ability) - and you can make that as long as you want
Is just being yourself the right thing to do? - yes, it'll be fine.
RichPenny +1
I assume you have already checked that he is an outdoor type person? I would try to avoid situations where you might be relying on each other for a first date - for example trying to find your way off the Gylder's in foul weather as darkness approaches..
If he has a mountian bike what about the Marin trail or simmilar? Opportunities for chatting on the fireroads; not potentially as long as a whole day. If it goes well you can go for food afterwards; if not then say the good byes in the car park? Being yourself is fine but you do want to be able to talk to each other at least some of the time....
Wasnt there a a chap on here a few weeks ago, had a date climbing with a young lady, and he brought a freind(male)along with him, who ended up sleeping with the lady, and he didnt half moan about it, but it was so funny.
The beauty of a cafe or pub is you can extend that date as long as you wish, or simply finish you drink and you've got an excuse to leave. Imagine getting half up Snowdonia and realising he's a ****.
Do something more active on a second date.
+1 for a gentle brunch or lunch somewhere relaxed, you can discuss outdoorsy stuff weithout getting into an 999 situation with someone you don't know. He's probably sh1tting bricks about going into the mountains with a female Ray Mears. Then if its a nice lunch you can consider an [s]afternoon of filthy monkey s3x[/s] extension through to pre-dinner drinks etc. Don't limit yourself. And have fun, dating is fun when you don;t take it seriously.
Is just being yourself the right thing to do?
Yes. This is perfect. Have a great "date", and let us know how you got on.
SB 🙂
Are you going in the hope that something more will happen, or is it just " a date" with no real spark?
😀 yep be yourself..... wots the point of trying to be someone you're not ????? then you,ll look stupido...
dress how you are and wot you feel comfortable with ....
im very 'outdoory' type person... and my outdoor clothes is 'who i am' and thats it ! i dont give a stuff what people think...be yourself.... 😉
and yep December means wrapping up if you're heading uo Snowdonia...bit silly if you put jeans n casual t-shirt on.. (oh and please dont wear heels up Snowdonia....
B YOUR SELF....... 
trying to find your way off the Gylder's in foul weather as darkness approaches..
Ooer!
best of luck, have fun and don't be afraid to walk very rapidly in the direction of away if he's a freak
Dressed in waterproofs with a wooly hat? Personality and eyes will be on show,wont they? If he has any interest in those... he will soon put on a pair of the male x-ray specs and check out yer arse through the baggies while he`s at it. 8O)
Seriously though.Like elaine anne says, dont give a monkeys about what yer wearing. I dont think it would make any odds at all. Unless you turned up in a pair of crocs,of course.
Lucky chap, whoever he is!
filthy monkey s3x
That's the one where you fling faeces around afterwards, right?
If I asked a girl what she wanted to do on a date and she said 'climb a mountain' my first thought would be 'this ones looking like a keeper already!'
dating is meant to be FUN! And going outdoors is fun 🙂 Be yourself, which I'm sure is amiable, quirky and lovely, and who cares how it goes (as long as he's not a pyscho - don't bring a pyscho up a snowy mountain)
Nah, that's just filthy sex nicko74. Filthy monkey sex is where you have sex with a monkey that's been flinging its own faeces around. Apparently 😳
Sorry, hope I haven't lowered the tone. As you were...
oh dear Penny it looks like you've lowered the tone ...now what ????? 🙄 😉
There are no monkeys in Snowdonia so it's a moot point anyway. Tone restored 🙂
Just chillout and have a nice day out in the mountains. You'll know within the first five minutes if anything is cooking and so will he. Ok, maybe 15 minutes for the bloke 🙂
No point in stressing at all. Men and women meet each other every day you know.
be yourself do something you would feel comfortable doing and enjoy yourself
Sue, the main thing to remember is be yourself. If you want turn up in a wooly hat and waterproofs then do so.
How about not treating meeting new people as a date, letting it become just a day or moment out with someone new.
The pressure then isn't so much for both parties and you'll both find it much easier to relax and be yourselves.
At best you'll naturally get on and either progress to a more intimate friendship or even just gain a new friend.
At worse you'll not get on so great, no hard feelings should be felt and you go your separate ways after a rather pleasant time outdoors.
Dress as you wish and as you want, in whatever is appropriate for the occasion. If he expects more then he's probably a touch shallow.
I wear outdoors kit all the time no matter what the occasion/venue, i expect people to accept me for who i am and if they don't, they've no place in my life.
Be yourself Sue. The only effort needed is the one of the mind.
Have fun!
i suggest a walk in the afternnon somewhere scenic and head for a cafe for lunch / tea but not dinner.
Go for it!
That, basically. Why arse around at a "safe" destination when you can be out and about and working out if this person would be able to share in a huge part of your life?sobriety - Member
If I asked a girl what she wanted to do on a date and she said 'climb a mountain' my first thought would be 'this ones looking like a keeper already!'
+10 for be yourself.
dress the way you normally do, act the way you normally act.
hope the weather is kind and he turns out to be a decent bloke.
I want to know whether there's some attraction going on. "He seems nice" is too vague!!
If the date's just been arranged because of pressure from friends, then do something you enjoy, don't worry about it and have a nice time. If on the other hand you think it might/want it to go somewhere, and he feels the same, then don't worry, there's nothing you can do that'll **** it up.
Rubbish you lot . 40 odd replies , nothing at all helpfull.
Its really simple sue ,it goes like this.
Sue.- " How many bikes have you got then ?"
Blokey.- " Well ,hmm none "
= Run , Run away .Very fast. Dont look back. Keep running . Dont stop .
Actually , ignore evrything i say as i havent been on a date this millenium . Have fun and enjoy yourself + dont try too hard to be someone your not as you want him to like you . I think .
I can't believe nobody's grabbed the chance to say it yet...
Wee in his shoes!
just remember its customary to 'put out' on the first date.... or was that only in sex in the city?
Thanks guys and girls for your pearly words of wisdom ...
Have had a bit of reflect based on some of the above (not the monkey business - far too cold and I'll probably be dirty enough already cos it's quite muddy out now 🙂 )
In the end, I can never really pretend to be anyone other than myself (whether on the forum or in 'real life'!), so I'm happy to arrange to do something reasonably active outdoors because that's a big part of who I am. I'll re-think the 'head up the mountains for the day' option (as yes, he might be a boring psycho), and maybe suggest a shorter / slightly lower level option in the hills, followed by a panad if we're getting on.
Don't think having a pint of Pete's tea before setting off would be a wise idea ... mountain loo's being not that readily available and it takes me ages to wiggle out of my waterproofs!
I'm trying to get my head round seeing it as a 'potential friend with possible future options' (no s****ing in the back please ...) so emsz will wait and see if there is any spark!
And will promise not to flounce on the first date 🙂
Ah yes, I forgot the real test 'required number of bikes = n+1 (and yes it's perfectly acceptable for them to live in the dining room ...)
Outdoor girlies are thin on the ground. My first 'date' with my partner was a a stroll over Cribgoch in the snow.
12 years in now.... if he doesn't appreciate you for who you are, no worries. There really are plenty out there who will!
so you do fancy him then.... 😆