[Closed] Anyone got a Vauxhall Mokka?

Could be worse...

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You'd need one of these as a second car

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I think the name is the best thing about them. It's a pretty low bar though to be fair.

We had one as a rental during an insurance replacement. Hated it!

mate of mine had one that had a known and ignored fault. very nearly killed him and his family. wouldn't touch one with a barge pole

What's wrong with the name? Much better than something like Fiesta, Escort or Razzle.

All the reviews suggest they're terrible so I'm surprised to see so many of them on the road. I assume White is the free colour?

Had one for a few weeks as a hire car. No redeeming features.

Designed to hit a market demographic but done so poorly that it should be at the bottom of anyone's shopping list.

Sorry, I had one as a hire car and although my expectations were pretty low, I actually enjoyed it for the day.

I think you have to hand in your soul and mental capability when you buy one so the name isn't an issue.

This may well be an urban myth but I'm pretty sure Vauxhall had to remarket the Nova for the continental market as it translated as No-Go. And Toyota had similar problems with the MR2 which in French sounded like merde when read.

popular hire cars. I ordered a large saloon car where the example given was a Passat because that's what I needed and ended up with a Mokka, which wasn't.
is it called a crossover or something? I think they picked the worst aspects of the two vehicles it crossed.

I think they picked the worst aspects of the two vehicles it crossed.

called a crossover or something?

Don't buy one or you'll be made a mokkary

Not bad looking though.

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All of those little not-sure-what-kind-of-car vehicles are the worst of all worlds. I had a Kia Sorento for a month last year and each time I returned to where it was parked, my heart dropped a little to see it still there. It had absolutely no redeeming features and, for the size of the car, spectacularly little luggage space. [i]That[/i] was a feat of engineering.

The horizon isn't straight in that photo the can't even get that right.

Had a Mokka as a hire car for a week a little while ago (not my choice....arranged through company admin...who I think must hate me :wink:). Absolutely no redeeming features.

There is something about most Vauxhalls that is inherently depressing. Cars for people that don't care about cars, or about making something to be as good as it can be? I guess it is the knowledge that they could make them so much better if they wanted to. Not cost related either. Plenty of other brands do a better job at similar prices.

Not all Vauxhalls are bad - my Vivaro is great!

I had one for a month, quite liked it. The 1.7d engine was from a previous time but it did give character of sorts. Steering was bizarrely weighted but other than that it was fine, 1400l of space seats down which is the same as the Mondeo I had at the time and it did a good job of carting house belongings down the M1. Got to like the heated steering wheel too, though thought it could do with a heated great knob!!! The main thing I would be asking myself is is it cheap (owing to the bad reviews), that would be enough for me to buy as even the best examples of the type are still going to be crap.

schmiken - Member
Not all Vauxhalls are bad - my Vivaro is great!

Doesn't count. I think you'll find that you're driving a Renault Trafic with a different badge on it.....

it could do with a heated great knob!!!

thought it could do with a heated great knob!!!

What do you need a heated knob for?

Someone I work with has one. He knows nothing about cars.

Seems to me from having a quick spin as a passenger that its there to be a "me-too" for the people who want a faux-by-faux in the Kuga/Tiguan/Qashqui/ every other blob shaped thing on wheels manufacturers are churning out to middle aged office workers with 2.4 kids these days. I suspect its about as good/bad as every other of its ilk.

All the reviews suggest they're terrible so I'm surprised to see so many of them on the road.

Bizarrely despite it being quite a big important purchase quite a lot of people do zero research into the car they are buying.

Let's face it its the only thing that can explain the continued existence of Vauxhall and Peugeot as a brand.

But yes hateful things, I've never understood the faux-by-four, crossover, SUV thing and its an infestation that seem to be spreading, it needs killed off

Bregante, yes Cappuccino is a stupid name for a car. But they were fantastic to drive, a real rollerskate car.

Awful things, like many Vauxhalls you get the impression that the designers got to lunchtime, said "**** it, that'll do" and went to the pub. In my experience they are pretty unreliable as well - I've towed three back to main dealers with totally fubared engines now, all had fsh and less than 20k on the clock.

THE ADVERT.

I genuinely hate that ad.
I watch it every time, fascinated.
And each time, it's even worse than it was before.

I'd rather eat my own feet than have anyone think 'he saw that ad and still bought one?'

Burn the ugly, useless, pointless examples of flawed humanity.

The motoring equivalent of the plastic dog turd.

Burn them all.

Father in law bought one new a year or so back. Hated it so much he took the massive depreciation hit and PXed it after less than two months.

Sadly, he went for another Vauxhall and now has an Insignia.

Sadly, he went for another Vauxhall and now has an Insignia.

My brother in law who also knows nothing about cars (he once gave advice to his younger brother that the single best car you could buy was a Nissan Micra) recently bought an Insignia. I believe his reasoning was that it was the only car with a boot bigger than their previous Civic. A very odd decision.

Why a heated great knob? Well, because it's so cold when you're holding a heated steering wheel of course! 😀

If you consider the primary purpose of a car the Nissan Micra could well be the single best car you can buy!!! (Yes, 3 explanation marks again :-)).

But yes hateful things, I've never understood the faux-by-four, crossover, SUV thing and its an infestation that seem to be spreading, it needs killed off

Basically, people like 1.the image, and 2.the high driving position. Simple as that really.

My wife insisted we bought one(her turn to choose). It's the worst most god awful piece of scrap I've ever had the misfortune to ride in and pay for. I'd rather spend all my time in my Transit Custom and often do. It's a crying shame that I'm stuck with it for 2 more years. Never had a Vauxhall before and I swear I'll never ever have another one.

My wife currently has an Astra (dull but functional) as her company car, and will be due a new one soon. Unfortunately it has to be a Vauxhall.
Even more unfortunately, she is eyeing up the Mokka.
Nothing I say seems to put her off, even the fact that it will do less miles to the gallon than the Astra (she does around 30,000 miles a year).
I can't face three years of that pointless triangle sitting on my drive telling everyone that someone in my house has the imagination of a plastic bag.