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Hope all the kids get a PUDDING....
She will go home and cry.
But it is okay for a 6 year old to be in tears from leaving school to going to bed and being left not wanting to go on the school trip to the Toy Museum that she had been excited about all week before she found out she was going to be isolated from her friends and any other girls?
its not ideal but it is not life changing either. Hence the spectrum of opinion
IMHO this seems like a less than ideal solution and a fairly inflexible approach from the school.
Why? They may well have perfectly good reasons behind why they did it, perhaps reasons they don't particularly want to share but perfectly good ones none the less. I struggle to see how speaking to the teacher after the event will gain any kind of positive outcome for child, parent, teacher or school.
Edit.
But it is okay for a 6 year old to be in tears from leaving school to going to bed and being left not wanting to go on the school trip to the Toy Museum that she had been excited about all week before she found out she was going to be isolated from her friends and any other girls?
It's certainly not ideal but as I said, there may well be reasons you and she do not know off. So yes, it is OK, not ideal, not good, but it is OK.
perhaps reasons they don't particularly want to share
I don't believe that a school should take that approach to their decision-making – they should be accountable for their decisions and therefore I should feel I am able to ask the question should I wish to.
I struggle to see how speaking to the teacher after the event will gain any kind of positive outcome for child, parent, teacher or school.
Err, because I want to understand why they made such a strange decision that lead to hours of crying from a six year old child and probably spoiled her enjoyment of the day.
perhaps reasons they don't particularly want to share but perfectly good ones none the less.
A yes the old it's none of your business answer 🙄
TBH I'm with Binners on this one. IN the whole scheme of things its annoying but not a big deal, there will be greater battles to come.
Err, because I want to understand why they made such a strange decision that lead to hours of crying from a six year old child and probably spoiled her enjoyment of the day.
As I understand it the information was shared with your wife, one of the helpers. It wasn't meant to be shared with the children in question. If the kids had been split into groups, in a seemingly random way, at the venue, would your daughter have been upset all day? Or would she have just carried on enjoying, the way that 6 year olds tend to?
By telling your daughter the day before that she had been split from her friends you have caused the tears.
Sorry johndoh, that ^^ sounds a lot more confrontational than I mean but I'll leave it in that form.. 😉
As I understand it the information was shared with your wife, one of the helpers.
I am not aware that they have given a reason for the decision (although when I see my wife tonight I will find out). From what I understand, all they did was refuse to change the groups.
By telling your daughter the day before that she had been split from her friends you have caused the tears.
I didn't, I believe they were told at school as she left the classroom crying yesterday afternoon.
ScottChegg - Member
probably funded or at least partly funded by the school
That one always makes me laugh.
Do you want to share the joke?
I didn't, I believe they were told at school as she left the classroom crying yesterday afternoon
Ah fair enough then. Ignore me.
Do you want to share the joke?
I don't think you'd get it.
As others have said, suck it up - it isn't the end of the world.
it isn't the end of the world
I know it's not, it just seemed a very odd decision and a large part of me wants to understand WHY.
Posts like this make me realise how desperately SAD todays parents are ...
I have little sympathy - you cant wrap them in cotton wool forever and a valuable lesson could be learned , by you as well , that sometimes you cant have it all your own way . The school made a decision regarding the groups , they are IN CHARGE of your child whether you like it or not .
Wifey is on the trip FFS , poor lamb isn't going to out on a limb is she ??
Get a life mate - I mean - really ...
WERE annoyed with OUR school , says it all 🙄
Err, because I want to understand why they made such a strange decision that lead to hours of crying from a six year old child and probably spoiled her enjoyment of the day.
I understand that, but I still don't see a positive outcome for anyone. Your daughter still isn't with her friends, you may get an answer you don't like and get more annoyed, the school gets increased scrutiny on a subject that really isn't that important and the teacher feels undermined. So who wins?
I don't believe that a school should take that approach to their decision-making – they should be accountable for their decisions and therefore I should feel I am able to ask the question should I wish to.
I'd agree if, when the school gave an answer that was fair but perhaps not to everyone's liking, it was accepted. But generally it's not, it's attacked, often with little understanding of the reasons behind it despite the schools best efforts to explain. Parents often see things, understandably, from only the perspective of their kids, a schools jobs is to see it from the entire class. That can often upset people.
and a valuable lesson could be learned
What valuable lesson is learned by isolating one six year old child in a year group when all others get to be with friends?
See how your daughter dealt with it today - if she was Ok and had no problems, it is a non-issue.
If it didn't go well, you are perfectly entitled to ask why the groups were split as they were [b][i]IF[/i][/b] it spoilt her trip. But just ask and let them explain their reasons.
When MCJnr was in early years, every June/July we ended up with some similar problems - not just us, other parents as well, not always minor, some fairly bizarre year group splits that the head and/or the governors tried to set up. The head would get very stroppy when questioned, but a lot of decisions got reviewed and changed.
I think the summer term is so busy with trips, activities, planning for the new school years and new intake, that sometimes simple things like this get overlooked by the school. They are only human, like all of us.
If they were all daaarn't pit at six, like in the good old days, this wouldn't be a problem
What valuable lesson is learned by isolating one six year old child in a year group when all others get to be with friends?
Life's a bitch
sometimes you've got to do stuff you don't want to do
I can understand why your daughter would be upset, but surely it's up to you, as a parent to tell her she needs to accept it, and be brave? that's certainly what i would be telling my kids.
I know my oldest was intentionally put in a different class to his best mate, because they always just played with each other, and no one else. Now he's got a bunch of friends, but there were tears the first few days.
We know because (as I mentioned above) my wife is a leader of one of the groups so she got the info sheet about the trip.
Has your wife shared this info with other parents to enable them to choose which group their kids go in? Fair's fair.
It all sounds like a fuss over nothing.
I'm glad I'm not a teacher, I'd get the sack.
warton - Member
What valuable lesson is learned by isolating one six year old child in a year group when all others get to be with friends?
Life's a bitch
sometimes you've got to do stuff you don't want to do
If she came home crying because she found out that she was with girls A, B & C rather than girls X, Y & Z you'd have a point but making her the one child to be alone on a trip is a pretty crappy place for her to be, especially as (and the teacher knows and has expressed her concern before) she does sometimes get marginalised by her friendship group because she doesn't always have very good social skills.
I know my oldest was intentionally put in a different class to his best mate, because they always just played with each other, and no one else.
That is very different - and we have supported the school in their decision to break up our girls' friendship group next year for similar reasons.
lasty - MemberPosts like this make me realise how desperately SAD todays parents are ...
I have little sympathy - you cant wrap them in cotton wool forever and a valuable lesson could be learned , by you as well , that sometimes you cant have it all your own way . The school made a decision regarding the groups , they are IN CHARGE of your child whether you like it or not .
Wifey is on the trip FFS , poor lamb isn't going to out on a limb is she ??
Get a life mate - I mean - really ...WERE not happy with OUR school , says it all
Wrap them in cotton wool forever? Clucking bell, she's 6. 😆
Sounds like you're daughter has laready been wrapped up in too much cotton wool and has little princess tendencies. My 4yr old daughter had something similar happen lately, she just got on with it.
^^^^ My 4yr old daughter had something similar happen lately, she just got on with it. ^^^^
As would most kids to be honest - it all goes wrong when the parents get involved and make a drama out of nothing ....
[i]I know it's not, it just seemed a very odd decision and a large part of me wants to understand WHY.[/i]
Let it go, if this kind of stuff is going to send you into a tail spin, and they're in yr1. School is going to stress you out waaaay too much.
😆
Not really in a tailspin, just disappointed in the school. I think many of you are actually over-estimating wildly the level of anger/frustration I am feeling.
[i]Annoyed with our school - leave it or complain?[/i]
most (if not all) have been in the leave it camp? If even you're not all that bothered then hopefully all that's happened is your daughter had a great day 😀
Are they back yet?
That's what I was wondering... I also finally realised that "leave it" referred to the problem, not the actual school...
Binners +1 I think.
But it is okay for a 6 year old to be in tears from leaving school to going to bed and being left not wanting to go on the school trip to the Toy Museum that she had been excited about all week
This is quite a big reaction to the situation. Might be worth checking nothing else is worrying her ? Also worth seeing if maybe she needs some help from you regarding resilience - ways to manage her concerns/worries.
Not really in a tailspin, just disappointed in the school. I think many of you are actually over-estimating wildly the level of anger/frustration I am feeling.
Not being intentionally challenging here but as you started a thread about it, I assumed it must be troubling you to a reasonable degree.
BTW - dad of 3 here who is often annoyed by school management and it is worrying sometimes. Hope your daughter had a good day too!
Friendship groups are evil (especially amongst girls) and need to be split at every opportunity or cliques quickly develop. Then one day your children find themselves on the outside of the clique and can't cope.
To me, independence is one of the best things to teach your children.
School teachers put a ridiculous amount of consideration into social groupings. They get it right way more than they get it wrong.
If any of my kids were upset by this type of situation then I would have asked them to KTFU, but then they are fairly resilient.
Don't be THAT Parent...
She may also learn that actually 6yo boys are pretty cool to be friends with. Bugs me that kids are already dividing themselves in two gender camps at an age when it should make absolutely no difference.
Not every day is a perfect day. Kids will be happier if they can get on with a range of people. No challenges means no growth.
+1 Don't be that parent.
Not being picky, however it sounds like you're being the parent who takes any chance to be critical based on other issues!
(and I have never been happy with her performance)
This is a non-issue that will serve no long term benefit, it's not worth the effort.
Interesting point there - I was bowled over by how amazing their reception year teacher was. Lessons included dissecting a real pig's head and talking about the two world wars (an interest one of our girls is still utterly absorbed in).
I don't want to find fault but today was just another day where I think this year's teacher let them down.
It turns out she did okay on the way, was very subdued during the day and was in tears by the way home - this wasn't helped by the fact the 1 hour journey there and back in her 'group' meant she was on a different coach than her twin and all of her friends.
In all a pretty shit experience for her 🙁
Still, her sister enjoyed herself.
and I have never been happy with her performance
When I read that, alarm bells rang. If the OP is so qualified, take em out and home school them. Sometimes, things don't work out just the way you or
the offspring might wish and sometimes, it's just not up to you.
A lesson (should be) learned...
But you should always be allowed to ask a question, and expect an answer. Parent teacher pupil relationship should always be an open 2 way street.
The trip is over and she will get over it OP, but do question them if you feel the need to.
Boblo - don't be silly. As a parent I can have a view. Seeing them in the second year and not progressing as well as they did in their first is something I have seen. Mistakes their teacher has made (such as moving up the wrong child to the next level of reading) I have witnessed.
Does this make me a better teacher? No. Should I still be entitled to see my daughters get a reasonable education?
Long time lurker here - been reading the forum for many years but almost no contributions made. I'm genuinely surprised by the general opinion expressed here and have complete sympathy with the OP. Obviously, the issue has now passed, and I hope the OP's daughter had a great day, but if a similar circumstance arises in the future, there is really no reason not to contact the school to just ask the question - I agree with Ads678 earlier posts. For what it's worth, I say this as a secondary teacher with 27 years experience, and in my current job as Deputy Headteacher of an 11 - 18 school, I would prefer that any parent with a concern about any trip we were running let me know. There are plenty of opportunities in education to develop resilience, learn about the unfairness of life etc., but I doubt that end of year school trips in the early years of primary school are well suited to this...
If I knew that any of our students were in tears over an event that is supposed to be a highlight of the year, I would want to try and sort that out in some way, and I couldn't do that if I didn't know. Equally, if a member of staff was organising a trip, I would hope that they would be happy to explain their rationale for grouping to any parent that had concerns. I know there are other teachers on here - any posted yet? I haven't seen any AA posts for a while...
Anyway - to the OP - did it all turn out to be OK?
Sorry Johndoh - didn't see your post. Really sorry your daughter had a bad day.
Always amazes me how people think its just fine and dandy to make a childs life a misery. Children have no control and no authority. How many adults in a comparable situation would not do something about it to improve the situation for themselves - most of them I think. Yet a child being sad does not matter at all. Yes life is hard - so why make it even worse for children or anyone for that matter when its simple to change it.
OP, do something about this, even if its only to ask the school why things are being arranged this way. At school it is not only children that bully, plenty of teachers do too. There is nothing wrong and everything right in standing up for a defenceless child provided you do so in a polite and constructive way. Let your child see change is possible and that misery does not have to be tolerated.