Alfresco weeing
 

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[Closed] Alfresco weeing

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Whilst discussing the toilet situation with the organiser of Manchester’s premier MTB/CX 2 hour winter assault course race thing (Feb 12th, only 5 places left) we got on to the subject of alfresco weeing before a race.

What do you look for when nature calls…

Wall?
Tree?
Bush?
Out in the open?


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:05 am
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PISSING OUTDOORS IS THE NEAREST A MAN CAN GET TO GOD .FACT


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:06 am
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All of the above.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:07 am
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Mr-the-spud +1


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:07 am
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Really? I'll have a look round next time I'm having a cheeky slash in the woods. Does he do autographs?


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:07 am
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Personal fav is on a mountain top with an unobstructed view.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:08 am
 DezB
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Always need to go when walking the dog. Anywhere will do as long as it doesn't get her coat wet.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:11 am
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any time, any place, any where 🙂


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:13 am
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[url= http://www.myspace.com/mrandypeace ]Al Fresco[/url] weeing? Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't! None of my business either way. 😛


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:13 am
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Watch which way the wind blows. If it's blowing a gale (or gusts of 35 knots) even if you stand with your back to the wind the eddies can blow it back over your trousers.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:14 am
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You guys were discussing where you get your wangers out?

Hmmm


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:14 am
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The Southern Yeti - Member
Personal fav is on a mountain top with an unobstructed view.

+1


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:15 am
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You guys were discussing where you get your wangers out?

Hmmm

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:20 am
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Never mind the weeing what about the explosive diarrohea when wearing bib shorts? 🙁


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:20 am
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If relieving yourself, alfresco, around pasture land, watch out for electric fences. One's old chap is at risk of being transformed into a spluttering dimp.

I'm waiting for some of the ladies to tip up with observations on this subject.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:21 am
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No, the best place is on a river bank where the stream can descend into a cool still pool before being swept away.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:22 am
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I don't mind the odd trailside wee.
Trailside poo? Inevitably you draw a line ... somewhere. 🙂


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:32 am
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When I last did the Grizedale Mountain Bike challange when we were all queing up at the start some bloke just got his winkle out and had a pee with everyone else around him, pee spraying up off the floor every where.

He thought he was clever too.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:35 am
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Trailside poo? Inevitably you draw a line ... somewhere.

it takes a lot of practice to draw a neat line with poo, you have my respect... it took one of my patients many months practice to get it remotely straight.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:36 am
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I don't mind the odd trailside wee.
Trailside poo? Inevitably you draw a line ... somewhere.

You draw lines in poo?


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:37 am
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PISSING OUTDOORS IS THE NEAREST A MAN CAN GET TO GOD .FACT

Hmmmm. Monsieur Tete de la pomme de terre is unnervingly passionate about this subject.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:39 am
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Trailside turd is more alliterative.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:41 am
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Pathway poo?


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:44 am
 hels
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I have serious mental scars from riding L'Etape du Tour a few years ago, the Limoges - St Flour leg.

The French blokes didn't even bother getting off their bikes, they just stopped at the side of he road and let flow.

Women need at least some kind of cover !!


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:47 am
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Free-peeing?

Extreme Excrement?

Personally as long as I don't wee on myself or my bike I don't care where it goes. However I do agree with TSY - I've wee'd at the top of the old Mont Chery lift in Les Gets. Uninterrupted view of Mont Blanc as I let the flow go. Perfect moment 🙂


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:48 am
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I don't mind the odd trailside wee.
Trailside poo? Inevitably you draw a line ... somewhere.

Compared to some of the rubbish you see at the side of the trail, at least it's bio-degradable.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:48 am
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I remember when I was a kid we had a holiday that involved a long drive across northern spain

At some point we were in a massive traffic jam that had probably started for proper reasons but was perpetuated by EVERY bloke stopping his car and pissing off the road bridge into a river

(we weren't allowed 🙁 )


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:49 am
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Nothing better than crimping off a length in the woods as unsuspecting cyclists pass by on the nearby trail 8)


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 10:58 am
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I've had a mountain micturation on the top of Snowdon and Scafell Pike.

If you see a short fat bloke weeing on the top of Ben Nevis this spring, that'll be me summiting my own personal Everest. 🙂


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 11:05 am
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Drop-off nip-off?


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 11:10 am
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I think I'll hire a chemical bog.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 11:12 am
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Ive got one of [url= http://backpackinglight.co.uk/product161.asp?PageID=113 ]these[/url] for laying cables in the countryside:
[img] ?Refresh=17%2F01%2F2011+13%3A11%3A10[/img]


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 11:13 am
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We always try to pee on the Greenwich Meridian (there's a post near here) at least once a year, normally on the longest day. It just seems the right thing to do.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 11:21 am
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Preferably with the wind at your back, rather than into the wind.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 11:28 am
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Gentlemen, I refer you to our previous discussion 8)

http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/trail-side-cable-laying-etiquette


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 11:30 am
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The combination of energy drink consumption and an aging bladder mean that if lost I could problably find my way own by sniffing my own wee-wee trail .And I have successfully tagged vast tracks of land as mine by strategic pissing


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 12:26 pm
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Anywhere really. prefer cover to avoid getting arrested again but that's not always possible.

So long as people can't see my wang in the open is fine.

Just check for electric fences and wind direction first.

The biggest issue i have with peeing whilst out on the bike is during the winter. I wear bib tights and the zipper only comes down to above the naval. So to avoid having to strip coat and base off, i usually try to haul the man hood over the undone zipper whilst dragging the bib as far down as possible.
This is never quite far enough and it seems to clamp a little on the pee tube trapping a little wee mid willy. Once fully relieved one can flop one member back into it's normal place of rest and as soon as it's there about an egg cup full of warm urine dribbles out.. 🙁


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 12:42 pm
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Bib shorts are a whole different issue. The need to go to the loo is directly proportional to how late you are for work and how many layers you've got to get off before you can get to The Little General.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 2:56 pm
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Regardless of the topic of this thread.
"Little General" ?


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 3:27 pm
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:mrgreen:


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 3:30 pm
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Regardless of the topic of this thread.
"Little General" ?

I think you'll find it's an alternative term for Big Jim (and the twins).


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 3:41 pm
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Anywhere for me.

Even on my gloves ;-)............ got distracted by someone pointing something out whilst I was peeing, looked around pissed on my gloves doh!:-(

At least I know they are waterproof .

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 3:49 pm
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That's some [i]very[/i] niche material you've presented there redthunder 😉

The mod's will never suss it.


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 3:55 pm
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one time me and my mate were out on local trails when a couple stopped us and were asking for directions.I was giving advice and began to think that the woman in particular was making fixed eye contact with me. I didn't quite get why until i realised my mate had turned around and was happily pissing away whilst giving directions , some verbal some more of a gesture.when i asked him afterwards he looked non-plussed and he hadn't even registered that he was pissing in front of her .


 
Posted : 04/02/2011 4:18 pm