that she is clearly mad as a batch of frogs, insanely hot, super, super dirty
I'm actually feeling a sense on loss on his behalf now! No wonder you are gutted.
It will never get better, you will mourn this loss for ever. Live will never be in colour again, just shades of grey (until you find another dirty little minx)
No wonder you are gutted.It will never get better, you will mourn this loss for ever
This sounds about right. IME, your mid-30s is about the time when you start to realise you've peaked, your "potential" is a regret, not a promise, and you're probably never going to [i]feel[/i] anything again through the blanket of mediocrity and sadness that starts to envelope you. Other than bitterness, boredom and panic, obviously.
To have 6 weeks of mind-blowing sex with someone gorgeous that you really love, then to have it snatched away and be back to being 38. That must be devastating. A sort of "dead cat bounce" of youth, crashing back into middle age. Horrifying.
Ho hum.
😀
Do what any young stud would do and go and visit Dr Jerkoff several times a day ,the situation will be under control be and all in hand!!
BigDummy is wise beyond his username.
Big Dummy is on fire at the moment, I'm enjoying his work on the various threads he's popping up on 🙂
OP - sounds like you had an awesome time, try hard to have an equally awesome time doing other things. Everyone has "the one that got away" yours will just be more awesome than most 🙂
Op - recently (last 3 weeks) broke up with my fiance and partner of 8 years.
Was more of a shock to her but to me it had been slipping and failing for a while.
However it wasn't until I was packing up the house that it hit me what I had given up/the life that had ended.
Keeping busy helps, making sure you are doing the things you enjoy (riding etc) plus surrounding yourself with mates. It will always will be tough but keep moving forward (have just unpacked myself into a tiny maisonette).
That said if the pain is still too great filling it with coke and hookers ftw does sound fun!
For me though riding and mates all the way.
[i]This sounds about right. IME, your mid-30s is about the time when you start to realise you've peaked, your "potential" is a regret, not a promise, and you're probably never going to feel anything again through the blanket of mediocrity and sadness that starts to envelope you. Other than bitterness, boredom and panic, obviously.
To have 6 weeks of mind-blowing sex with someone gorgeous that you really love, then to have it snatched away and be back to being 38. That must be devastating. A sort of "dead cat bounce" of youth, crashing back into middle age. Horrifying.[/i]
Good work Bigdummy....we don't see much creative writing on here, so this deserves a post of the week nomination!
[i]creative writing[/i]
Isn't that the term for fiction?
The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.
You'll just be getting over it in a few years and then someone will post about the subject on an internet forum and the pain will come flooding back.....................
OK, I'm an expert at this so listen up I'll need to know more details if I'm to help, had exactly the same myself 13 yr age gap, she dumped me.
So I totally ignored her for oh it must have ben five months before she showed up again in my world then the relationship carried on, a bit more on my terms, we've been married now thirty years but the relationship now swings in her favour I do as I'm told, but at your age..
Women are mental, all of them, there is no logic that can be applied to the decisions they take, so to start what was the reason she gave for dumping you? It won't be the real reason but it'll help the advice I give to hear it just the same, is there someone else? Do you know him?
What has been your reaction since? I'm hoping you haven't been begging and blubbering, that would not help your case. I'm assuming you wish to re kindle the relationship if as you suggest you 'can't live without her'.
Give some more background, i also need to know your star sign and hers, I know I know it's bollox but they believe that crap so tell me and lets see if there's an angle.
Or forget her and take up a new hobby - skydiving, kitesurfing something loaded with adrenalin it's a good cure all drug.
OK, I'm an expert at this
😀 😮
Women are mental, all of them
😐
i also need to know your star sign and hers
😆
OP you are 38 not 48 and single. Get out there, go on Tinder or Grinder and live your life FFS. Sorry, did you really think you'd snare a 20-something longterm? Stop the ego stuff thats peripheral and get out.
I know someone who is 36, he is 54. At somepoint shes going to wake up and think shes with an old bloke. He however is utterly selfish for holding her in this holding pattern in her best years. Thats OT but still did you think a 24 would hang round forever?
just get out there and ride
wasn't that what he was doing until another rider slipped in?
[i] but still did you think a 24 would hang round forever?[/i]
I'm not sure, but I don't think they stay 24..
OP you are 38 not 48 and single. Get out there, go on Tinder or Grinder and live your life FFS. Sorry, did you really think you'd snare a 20-something longterm? Stop the ego stuff thats peripheral and get out.I know someone who is 36, he is 54. At somepoint shes going to wake up and think shes with an old bloke. He however is utterly selfish for holding her in this holding pattern in her best years. Thats OT but still did you think a 24 would hang round forever?
What. utter. pish.
*Doesn't mention the Fast Show*
bearnecessities - Member
Sorry, but is Hora dead?I'll write his post for him.
There really was no need 😆
Sounds like OP had somewhere around 8-10 hot, but also 8-10 crazy, this video will explain why that's a bad thing... good advice for life in general imo 8)
That video never gets old :D:D
.......or Judge Rinder.go on Tinder or Grinder
When your entire life goes tits up after following all the conflicting advice you got off t'internet and you're looking to hold somebody to account
So a friend of mine reckons I should give you all an update!
Finally managed to get over her, and life was going along swimmingly. Even met another girl, who is utterly lovely, then ex finds out, decides she's jealous as, and tells me that she still loves me and always has... So the thing I hate myself for right now is that I've allowed her to turn my head...
I thought the crazy scale only went up to 10 or is this normal behaviour for a woman?
Fantastic stuff. Do you still love her?
I hope you don't have a pet - if so keep it secure. 😀
Tyrionl1 still needs your star signs....
How olds the new young lady ?
Jesus wept. And you say us women are fickle.
Child/woman dumps you after 2 months that destroys your world you have now rebuilt your world and have " someone lovely " but you are going to let child/woman in to destroy it again . I suggest you look to the setting on your own crazy dial it seems to go all the way to 11.
I thought the crazy scale only went up to 10 or is this normal behaviour for a woman?
I'm pretty sure that having ones fire re-stoked by an ex is not gender specific.
So the thing I hate myself for right now is that I've allowed her to turn my head...
Quod erat demonstrandum 8)
Oh dude you cant see through this, she is batshitmental, wants to know she still has power over you, walk away now and give it no more thought.
Oh dude you cant see through this, she is batshitmental, wants to know she still has power over you, walk away now and give it no more thought.
What I'm planning on doing!
Even met another girl, who is utterly lovely
*passes the poor lady a hanky and kicks OP in the... .*
Some people only want what they can't have.
Respectfully I stopped doing this sort of thing by the end of my teens
Move on and file her under crazy.
So a friend of mine reckons I should give you all an update!
Finally managed to get over her, and life was going along swimmingly. Even met another girl, who is utterly lovely, then ex finds out, decides she's jealous as, and tells me that she still loves me and always has... So the thing I hate myself for right now is that I've allowed her to turn my head...I thought the crazy scale only went up to 10 or is this normal behaviour for a woman?
Dude, she's young - I mean 24, did you know what you wanted when you were 24? Life with a 38 year old partner probably wasn't on my list of priorities, but if she liked you then you can see why she has a dilemma. If you want more pain and heartache ahead then sure go ahead, indulge her, but if you'd rather remain a happy go lucky sort of guy then I'd say best to avoid.
Tempting though I know. I've not so long ago got out of a 2 year relationship with the hottest girl on the planet, perfect figure, intelligent, slightly crazy, amazing in bed - I mean just out of this world amazing, on another level, an instant connection, yet I knew from the start it probably wouldn't work long term (for various reasons which I wont go into now). Yet despite the significant issues over the last couple of years I was blinded by my 'old boy downstairs' doing the thinking for me, ignoring the warning signs until it was too late. I was gutted!
I'm almost over it now, lots of casual sex helped and I'm now seeing someone else who's awesome too. Thing is though, if the ex turned up wanting to reignite things then I'd be sorely tempted - I know it's not the right thing to do, but I'm a guy, I love women, I love sex with women, and there's a constant battle going on in my head between 'doing the right thing' and mindless fornication. It's normal (I think) so don't worry 😉
Well I had similar happen. Met a girl (9 years younger than me at 18 to my 27). Dated for several years then she finished it - she didn't want to settle, wanted to 'explore'. For 15 months all I could think of was her (which wasn't helped by us staying friends – and that was 100% all she wanted, no more). Then I decided I needed to move on, suddenly felt really positive about stuff, really confident around people which culminated in a weekend of 'opportunities' which ended up with me starting to date someone else. Cue three months later and NYE 2000 (at my house having a big party with the new GF present) and the phone rings at midnight. Yes, it was the old girlfriend and she made it clear that she wanted me back. Two weeks later and I dumped the girlfriend and got back with the old flame.
15 years later - married to that old flame and have two 6 year old girls.
Best thing I ever did.
various reasons which I wont go into now
oh I think we have the time. Come on its Friday, just get hob nobs and coffee
and there's a constant battle going on in my head between 'doing the right thing' and mindless fornication. It's normal (I think) so don't worry
YOu are Hora and I claim my inappropriately sized bike
So you have a perfectly good relationship with someone you refer to as "lovely" but the 24 year old has got a whiff of this and is back on the scene out of jealousy and you fancy a bit?
I think the "lovely" other half deserves better and you should have a pump then go back to your misery pit
You're not 12, I think you know the answer
err... remind me [i]who [/i]in this scenario is not ready for a mature long-lasting relationship.... 😉
But I understand...
YOu are Hora
Where IS Hora? Not seen him for a while.
You can have an indoor and an outdoor girl apparently. Or wifelets.
various reasons which I wont go into nowoh I think we have the time. Come on its Friday, just get hob nobs and coffee
No believe me, you wouldn't have the time 😉 Basically she had lots good going for her, but also some issues/other commitments, which soon started affecting our relationship. I was best off out of there, I knew that, but when she's turning heads left right and centre, and she's so amazing between the sheets, then it's often easier said than done. Like a drug, you know it's no good for you long term, but the temporary highs make you stay in there, the key is realising this before it's too late and being able to get out whilst the going is still good.
Are you to be outdoors boyfriend or indoors boyfriend?
Where IS Hora? Not seen him for a while.
He has retired from relationship advice and road riding.
There is also a rumour that he is opening a bakery next to a BMX track in the lake district,where he can follow his passion for bespoke bike frame designs. 🙂
met another girl, who is utterly lovely, then ex finds out, decides she's jealous as, and tells me that she still loves me and always has......... is this normal behaviour for a woman?
It's completely normal, I'm surprised you even need to ask.
Life is short, see them both
Here's some full on crazy for you...
(this is quite long but it's still the abridged version)
I'm back on the dating scene. No one seems to meet in real life anymore so Tinder, POF etc seems to be the accepted norm.
A girl messages me last week. Bit of chat back and forth, we arrange to go out on Saturday night. Dates going well. Later in the night she's very, very drunk. Starts asking me if I want to have kids with her. Later in a club she nearly starts a fight with another group of girls. 😯 I chalk it up to drink. Taxi home, kiss goodnight, she goes home alone as do I.
Monday morning she messages me berating me as she can see I'm online on the dating app she contacted me through. I point out she can only see I'm online because she's online and mention this may be slightly hypocritical. She apologises and suggests the cinema and some dinner that night. I take the chance as I'd like to see her sober.
On the date she's cold, awkward and aloof. I have to force the conversation and she appears totally disinterested. A forced peck on the cheek at the end of the night. Clearly nothing happening.
The next day I decide to draw a line under it and send her a polite message saying I had a nice time but there was no spark there. She agrees, says she was about to message me the same thing. We have a mutual laugh about it. All good.
Then the nasty messages start. She has a dig at me for being back on the dating site. She accuses me of making decisions for her. Culminates with a full on rant at me. This is all via WhatsApp.
I've met her twice. I owe her nothing, so I just instantly block her without saying anything. Maybe a bit harsh but ultimately the right move. I also block her on facebook as she had stalked me on there.
I then get 6 text messages in the space of a few minutes. She's having a complete meltdown. Accusing me of all sorts. There's a phone call and a terrifying voicemail where she's sobbing and saying I can't treat her like that. Later on I get a message via the dating site from a "friend" of hers, threatening me and demanding I unblock her and speak to her.
Being genuinely afraid for my own, and her safety, I unblock her on whats app and ask her to calm down. Get her vaguely back on track and assume thats it.
The next day she messages me berating me again for not unblocking her on Facebook. I point out there's no way I'm giving her access to anything public of mine. She says she wants us to be friends. I remind her I'm terrified of her. I suggest she's clinically insane and advise her to get help.
Thankfully I haven't heard from her since. Quite miss her actually. 😆
I've missed a good dating thread. Bravo chaps...
Christ on a Bike Bob - she's properly batshit mental!
Christ on a Bike Bob - she's properly batshit mental!
Like I said, that's the abridged version.
Re. the facebook thing. After a few messages on the dating app she asked for my facebook as it's "easier to chat on there".
On Saturday night she revealed that if she messages a guy via the dating app, she'll instantly track them down on Facebook. Inevitably most people have common pics on both platforms so its easy to find them.
She'll then suggest they switch to Facebook. If the guy says he doesn't have Facebook she'll reveal she knows he does and ask why he's lying to her. 😆 😯
I suspect her "friend" that contacted me via the dating site is actually her. I suspect she uses that fake profile as a honey trap to test guys she's either messaging or has been on a date with. 100% psychopath. Thank god I found out now!
a constant battle going on in my head between 'doing the right thing' and mindless fornication.
Blokes have enough blood to fuel either dick or brain, but unfortunately not quite enough to fuel both simultaneously.
100% psychopath.
1000% correct diagnosis.
I've heard of a few blokes like this, but way more women who do this stuff.
The women I contacted via the Guardian and Times sites seemed nice and relatively normal, and now I am with someone who is just brilliant.
Is it because we are a bit older (50+) and all the crazy has gone, or are people just more mental these days
Great thread, it makes me realize that my marriage is a real blessing and that I am safer tucked in bed early on a Friday & Saturday night than 'out there'.