Subscribe now and choose from over 30 free gifts worth up to £49 - Plus get £25 to spend in our shop
"Nothing is proven to be more effective than ...."
or
"This product has never been tested, never mind tested against another product"
60% of the time it works every time.
Average savings available to 15% of customers.
Voted best product by readers of magazine X.
Then in really small print it says it was the preferred choice of 62% of a survey of 87 readers
women will buy anything.
"no oils, no waxes, no fragrence, so healthy, is your foundation this good for your skin"
lacking in parts of the makeup, doesnt make it good for your skin.
good for your skin is not wearing the crap in the first place!
if you didnt wear the crap, your skin wouldnt go all mingin, and mean you want to wear more to cover up your mingyness.
another one that gets me
"enriched with serum"
SERUM?
WTF IS SERUM?
this is what wiki has to say about serum:
"Serum"
yep, no entry, just the word
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hairstyling_product
New and improved! Okay, which is it, is it new or is it the old one improved?
60% of the time it works every time.
😀
"titanium - one of the hardest metals known to man" on a Gillette advert once.
Actually meant "titanium dioxide - quite a hard substance - certainly not a metal"
I actually wrote to ASA about that as it was factually incorrect on 2 counts (and as structural/materials analysis is my job so I thought it would be amusing - and the advert annoyed me) and their reply was interesting. Even though Gillette acknowledged their statement was incorrect, the implied consequence of the coating is the same - i.e. it is hard coated so will last longer. Therefore the ASA said it was acceptable! I did write again saying I didn't agree but it wasn't followed up.
It's amazing how many things are supposedly coated with titanium - even though they are not!
"invisible foundation" - that's genius. You're paying good money for make up that openly claims to have no visible effect on your skin.
My favorite:
Bifidus Digestivum & Bifidus Actiregularis in yoghurts.
If you look closely at the pot you'll see that these are registered trademarks ffs!
Ingredient info from side of the pot- Bifidus Actiregularis (whole milk,skimmed milk concentrate/powder,cream,yoghurt cultures). So in your yoghurt is milk, cream & yoghurt!
My missus belives it though so thats ok then! Its all about the 'good bacteria' in the gut apparently! 😆
This product will add up to 17 inches onto the length of your knob.
(Where the phrase 'up to' clearly includes the number zero)
[url=
Frozen, Light yet Filling[/url]
So in your yoghurt is milk, cream & yoghurt!
Erm.. not quite. It IS a genuine bacterium (presumably covered by "yoghurt cultures"):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bifidobacterium_animalis
Yeah but they naturally occur in the gut and are not specific to a particular brand of yoghurt.
Its the scientific sounding names I was poking fun at. 🙄
Bifidus Digestivum & Bifidus Actiregularis
I thought that was one of those spells that the pretty bint in Harry Potter comes out with?
[i]Its the scientific sounding names I was poking fun at. [/i]
Aaah, one of them moisturising creams then uses the term 'Hydrospheres'. That's a full gram of coke inspiration right there.
"Nothing works faster"
OK, I will have nothing then thanks.
why do they keep selling us shite
because we're worth it !!!!
"nothing works faster than <insert painkiller brand name>"
This is a totally true statement: taking "nothing" works instantaneously.
Once you have your scientific claim in place, buy yourself a nice 'Product of the Year' title...
http://www.productoftheyear.co.uk/default.asp?section=456
At £17,250 it's no surprise that large firms like Procter & Gamble seem to have a monopoly on them...cos their worth it!
I've had IV painkillers quite a few times now (stupid accidents on wakeboards etc) and I can honestly say that they work very quickly and would probably get rid of a headache.
They definitely work more quickly than neurofen, no matter how strong the dose.
Nutra-Ceremide R. WFT? Synergies. Eh?
ITS ****ING SHAMPOO!
and while we are on about it...
Nadine Baggert, Celebrity Beauty Editor. Nadine who? Editor of Celebrity Beauty or a celebrity amongst Beauty Editors, not to be confused with not very famous beauty editors.
Either way she gets my goat... and she's got a face like a frozen mop.
Nadine if you are reading this. PLEASE GET OFF MY TV.
"on our new 8 blade razor, each blade shaves progressivly closer, resulting in a shave like youve never felt before"
if each blade shaves progressivly closer, surely, you only need the last blade?