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Despite tens of thousands of years of evolution, we're still applying caveman rules of engagement...so I'm applying caveman levels of humility. 🙂
I know and understand women.*
I reckon there's a combo of involved man** is seen as "capable of being in a relationship & not a sad internet loser spending all his time online", also safe to flirt with.
*I may also have issues with delusion.
**I think it works both ways.
I am one year from being middle aged and whiff of desperation.
Not sure that anyone put a number to that "middle aged" thing....
Pretty sure it's in the head - I've met some very middle aged 20somethings (male and female), and very youthful 50+'s...
Also, the consensus seems to be (well perhaps we've convinced ourselves 😆 ) that the "whiff of desperation" was more of a young / single trait, and something discarded with age and experience... 😉
we've convinced ourselves that the "whiff of desperation" was more of a young / single trait, and something discarded with age and experience.
maybe for men... but single women over the age of 28ish smell of body-clock 😈
I have read Sue_W's post and mulled it over:
"From the opposite perspective, how come so many 'attached' guys (married / long term partners etc) seem to think that as I'm single I'd of course want to go off with them for a quick and dirty couple of hours before they trot back to their OH's? erm, no thanks!"
The more I think about it it the more I believe philconsequence:
"...but its flipping frustrating when women go on about men as if every single male wants to cheat on their loving partner with them and are only after one thing."
There was a topic a while ago that linked to a Guardian article on male sexuality and the way it is often demonized - I think this + the over active imagination of women - dare I say it? - past their prime, makes them believe that every man who makes any sort of gesture of friendship is only after one thing.
Think about it ladies (if there are any middle aged ones on here, and what is middle aged? 40 to 50?) when you look back over the last three months and at all the men you have thought were trying to hit on you (seriously not just a friendly flirt) and then look in the mirror, can you honestly think it its true?
Maybe middle aged men are delusional but it does appear that they are certainly not any more delusional than middle aged women!
I used to work with a guy (Actuary student) who played the percentages. He would flirt with every single woman he ever met, on the grounds that if even 1% showed some interest it was worth it.
He was not an obvious babe-magnet (repeat, Actuary student) but always had a string of attractive girlfriends, and never really came across as sleezy or desparate.
Of course, he got a LOT of rejection but was never bothered.
So the message is boys and girls, er, practice makes perfect, thick skin is a good thing.
(and for the record, no I didn't)
careful now supertramp.... in one swoul foop i managed to call everyone over the age of 31 middle aged! 
think that guardian article was one of my threads... i like discussing this kinda subject. say's a lot about how people see themselves when they discuss their perception of peoples motives towards them
I'm middle aged too then... love me 😆
It's easy to tell in the pub.
Men in happy relationships are relaxed - often their hair might be unkempt, they might be unshaven, slightly scruffy jeans and a t shirt and their shoes might be a bit battered. They are usually happy enjoying some banter with their mates and drinking a few beers.
The single men are usually more coiffured, they smell nice, their clothes are fresh and ironed, their shoes are immaculate. Also they tend to drink bottles of posh beer instead of pints of stout 🙂
Some of my women friends tell me that they are innately attracted to "dilfs" - especially if they are out and about on their own with their kids - something to do with preapproval (the dilfs are (probably) not gay, at least one person has already deemed them fit enough to have kids with them, and their bits work).
It's much easier being gay - a quick nod, bit of fun then off to enjoy a pint and talk about cars 🙂
A few basics ...
Right now, I'm happy being single, believe it or not, but it can be a positive choice! So no 'whiff of desperation' here 🙂
Propositions from attached men being appealing - nope. If I get together with someone then I need to like and respect them, and I have zero respect for anyone who lies to, or cheats on, their partner.
Misinterpreting expressions of friendless from married guys cos I'm a delusional woman who doesn't look in the mirror often enough - LOL 😆 Not really, they were quite blatent! And the answer was a clear and straightforward 'no'.
Sue_w - my reply was not intended as a challenge to your statement and I hope it hasn't offended! It was rather a general point for debate, and maybe clumsily worded - sorry!
But my point is this, are 'all' the men who appear to be making advances to 'all' the women who fall into this bracket even real or just symptoms of the satiation they (feel free to swap the gender roles in this statement) are in.
Thus creating a situation of more suspicion and mistrust leading to more disappointment and more desperation. Or even leading to a feeling of 'plenty more fish in the sea' when in fact the quota is almost up and again more disappointment.
So as I said not a dig, maybe just a wake up call for some of us!
There's a lot of difference between flirting and " d'you wanna shag" a lot of blokes don't seem to get that ime.
emsz - that is very true! But how many people have mistaken one for the other? I imagine there are quite a few 😉
emsz - d'ya wanna...
So, in conlusion, everything is in all of our minds? None of it actually happens, we're just a bunch of delusional fantasists.
I'm happy being single, believe it or not, but it can be a positive choice! So no 'whiff of desperation' here
That can certainly be true, and there can often be far more than a mere whiff of desperation coming off many couples!
I'm happy being single
This is probably more to the point as to why you're approached. You give off a "whif" of happiness that is attractive to others?
TSY - have just remembered who you remind me of - it's that one in The Inbetweeners who keeps talking about being "knee deep in clunge".
That had been bothering me !
There's a lot of difference between flirting and " d'you wanna shag" a lot of blokes don't seem to get that ime.
Yes. We are all beasts....
Supertramp - no offence taken 🙂
TSY - hope I don't give off any 'whiffs'! But I like people, enjoying chatting to people, and would rather be smiling and enjoying life than being sad or cross - maybe we're just not that used to people being cheerful!
lol at hels... so far from it it's untrue!
Sue I mean that if you appear content and happy in yourself and your situtation... this is, most likely, obvious to someone who is searching for the same happiness. blah blah blah.
sexy beasts 😈
Really enjoying this thread but I can't work out if TSY is female or male.
but I can't work out if TSY is female or male
Sammie-Louise x
mintyjim - does i matter? were you thinking of using your charms?
happy smiley confident people are attractive people... well to me anyway.
i'd much rather be with a 'deemed deeply physically unattractive by current social norms' person who's happy than a miserable supermodel that's for sure!!
luckily mrsconsequence is the best of both worlds in my eyes (happy and attractive.. not miserable and ugly haha) 🙂
Minty, if you comb all the hair out of the way I think you'll find TSY is a boy yeti LOL
[i]luckily mrsconsequence is the best of both worlds in my eyes (happy and attractive.. not miserable and ugly haha)[/i]
Phil. I've seen a few posts from you one these types of subjects and its not difficult to see you have found love.
I'm not an envious man, but if I were, I think I'd evny you for being in the relationship you are so obviously very happy with.
🙂
TSY is...errr, Male. I'm not sure why he seeks to muddy the waters on that one. I have always found that puzzling.
Its never crossed my tiny mind to have people think I might be a woman.
😉
As to how attracted a woman may be to a bloke. Doesn't that also depend on her own situation ?.
Oh, and while I'm here.
Why is it that single woman seem to think that [b]all single men[/b] are mad, bad and dangerous to know ?.
Its like some sort of default setting from the factory.
😉
Oh, and while I'm here.
Why is it that single woman seem to think that all single men are mad, bad and dangerous to know ?.
Its like some sort of default setting from the factory.
You may want to remove the multiple use of the word 'single' from that sentence - it just doesn't scan 😉
Sorry ST. My English is rather poor.
You see, I only have two languages.
English and bad English. Mostly the later.
😉
Thanks for the clarification TSY, I hope I didn't offend by asking it. Although it appears some are stating otherwise!
Supertramp - I can't imagine the vilification I'd be on the receiving end of if I tried to charm on this site, no matter how smooth I am!
any female that so much as cracks a smile in his general direction must want to climb on his penis.
Genuine LOL, I nearly choked on my sandwich although 'climbing on a penis'?? Really, really lol 🙂
Men in happy relationships are relaxed - often their hair might be unkempt, they might be unshaven, slightly scruffy jeans and a t shirt and their shoes might be a bit battered
The above is pretty much what I think a lot of it is. It's a changed/more relaxed/less desperate attitude which people pick up on.
That said, I think this thread is a massive fail and was purely started so that Yeti could show off about the fact that he's kidnapped a woman who hasn't yet escaped and he's then had a smile from a check out girl in asda and assumed that she's wanted to 'climb on his penis'. Bless 😀
cheers solo! she's a rare a beautiful creature... never fails to amuse, entertain and challenge me. I'm a lucky guy and I'd move the world for her if she needed me to; the fact she points out impressive boobs that we should be noticing, is better at riding her bike than me and loves me for the idiot i am... well it's all kinda awesome to the power of surfmatt.
she's off to italy with her girlyfriends on friday to stay with some hunky italian men, i will of course tattoo 'property of phil' on her forehead before she leaves.
EDIT - emma has it in one... yeti is in a relationship with a younger model and being a true gentleman he is proud of this/her, it would be inappropriate to start a thread saying 'i'm no longer single you fat IT nerds!! haha bow down to ME!!!!" so me thinks this was a good way of making the same point 😉
DOUBLE EDIT - he wouldnt be seen dead in Asda.
Might have known that all the women who would end up contributing to this thread would be bloody feminists............
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(FFS, I'm joking) 😉
I do find all this stuff fascinating - in general, and from a personal perspective. From a social, but more particularly from a work / business interactions perspective. How people interact can be very subtle, difficult to read and understand, easy to upset if you get it wrong.
As a teenager and into my early 20s I fear that I projected a fairly hard exterior to cover a shy and confidence lacking interior... I'm 6'3", 220lbs and don't mess with me type nonsense.
To my shame, I really didn't try very hard to make people feel comfortable around me! Fairly normal young male attributes I would guess, more to do with adolescence machismo than confident manhood - and something I'm trying to get my son to understand from a much younger age!
As I got older and more mature I realised that size and posture can be intimidating. I work hard in social and business settings to make others feel comfortable and at ease in my presence, and in general of course, others reciprocate in kind.
And no, I'm not in the business of propositioning available / unavailable females to replace or supplement the current mrs rkk01.
As stated above, I'm using a more subtle definition of flirting than has been described by some!!!
I can categorically promise you I am not a feminist Sammie. I would quite happily be a kept woman, can't use a lawnmower to save my life and have no interest in 'man' sports like football etc although I do like rugby but mainly because the players have such big legs and also darts.... I quite like hairy men with big bellies which is where the pull to darts comes from I think..... 😳
happy smiley confident people are attractive people... well to me anyway.
Damn. So I am ugly on two counts.
I'm 6'3", 220lbs and don't mess with me type nonsense.
*Swoon*
[i]That said, I think this thread is a massive fail and was purely started so that Yeti could show off about the fact that he's kidnapped a woman who hasn't yet escaped and he's then had a smile from a check out girl in asda and assumed that she's wanted to 'climb on his penis'. Bless[/i]
Excellent 🙂
But so long as TSY is happy and so long as he releases her soon.
No harm done.
😯
[i]I quite like hairy men with big bellies which is where the pull to darts comes from I think..... [/i]
Very strange to my mind. Not wrong, but not what I expected to learn from a younger lady. Luv'd up or not.
Could be a thread on its own.
"[i]What strange physical attributes in others do you find yourself attracted to[/i]"
Phil. I meant it dude. Good for you both.
I thought I was there once.
But back on the treadmill now.
😉
*Swoon*
Stop it!
😯
it will come solo 😀 concentrate on making sure you're enjoying yourself (never at the expense of others of course young man) and, well you dont need advice from a youngling like me, you know you'll be (to borrow a phrase from earlier in the thread) 'knee deep in clunge' before long.
alternatively grow yourself a beer belly and a set of darts
Jamie is only swooning as he knows rkk01 is spoken for.
He could tell just by reading rkk01's posts.
I don't care what any of you say, I'm still God's gift, they can't keep their hands of my gorgeous middle aged physique, and my bald patch drives them wild 😉
mintyjim... no offence taken. I do a lot of my posting under the guise of a bloke, just for a bit of fun really, also helps to get my opinion taken more seriously.
Phil - you've sort of hit the point, but there is a bit more substance to it.
Phil.
Too late mate, the STW lady who loves the hairy beer belly with or without darts, is happily taken.
😆
Don't mention RC helicopter though.
😉
Ref the [i]looking[/i] thing. Yeah, I play nice and its mostly a blast being single again with a few years experience behind me.
Just wish some of the women would lighten up abit.
Once the ice is broken its all good. But its just that factory default setting that initially gets in the way.
(thats the women I date / meet btw, not the women here, before I get flamed 🙂 )
🙂
[i]and my bald patch drives them wild[/i]
So err, do you shave or wax ?.
😆
and my bald patch drives them wild
how do you grow one of those then...! 😆