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He's started smoking weed, tried to not over react, telling him about the health implications etc. Anyone advice on how to deal with it? Not sure taking away biking and gym would be wise as he'll have bugger all to do
Chill Winston.
It’s all gwan be irie
Hide your own stash pronto!
lights reefer...
*shrugs*
I'm no expert on this, but IIRC... I'd be concerned if super strength skunk type weed, it's high in THC and the other stuff (name escapes me) that has been modified out of said weed is what balances the effects on your MH. In short, the high strength super skunks raise your risk factors for psychosis etc, particularly in the vulnerable (young).
Time for open, honest discussion about weed and his use / relationship with it. Don't criticise, inform and try to understand his relationship with it.
... having first informed yourself on as many of the sides of the story as you can.
Or, reverse psychology... get stoned with him, probably be totally uncool & he'll then drink instead!
Talk.
Don't worry unless its happening all the time.
👆 that too, a toke at a party / Saturday night is one thing, getting hammered most nights is another.
Sit down with him.
Buff one up and talk about the pros and cons while you're both stoned.
No different to having a beer with him.
a toke at a party / Saturday night is one thing, getting hammered most nights is another.
Same as beer then.
I smoked my 1st joint at 16 at a party of some of my mum's friends. I asked her if she would ask her friend if i could try it as was intrigued. She agreed but was most concerned about me getting addicted to the tabacco but she knew that banning me or making me go underground with it would not help. I dabbled a bit through uni days but grew up and now i hate being stoned. I really think it's a phase most teens will want to try so just give advise and don't push him so he just hides it from you.
Worry. One of junior's ski mates became a heavy user in his teens. By 17 he had become more than a little paranoid. One Winter day he ran out of the house barefoot and lightly dressed after a fairly minor family tiff. A few days later he was found, dead from hypothermia.
Having observed junior's contemporary users it seems reactions are variable. Some just smoke socially, some develop a social life that revolves around smoking. Some continue to function more or less normally, some become paranoid and anti-social.
I was fairly confrontational on the dope front (confronting his dealer) However I suggested magic mushrooms or LSD were more amusing, might give existential insights and so long as it wasn't something else sold as such wouldn't do much damage long term.
He's 21 now and knows more now from first hand experience than I'll ever know... :/
A few days later he was found, dead from hypothermia.
Drugs don't kill people temperatures do in a GLC style.
My 13 year old daughter ( 14 next week) has it occasionally. Plus an occasional drink. A do her friends. We aren't stressed about it. I'm really pleased that she feels she can talk to us about it. We've just said that she's with friends when she does it.
Any parent who thinks their kids do what their parents want when they're out with friends is deluded, so we feel as long as she can come to us for advice and support then that's great with us.
Just part of growing up, I stared at 6th form (17 ish) and continued through first two years of Uni, which might explain why I can't remember any of it. Then got bored of it and stopped. Seemed to turn out OK-ish (ie no worse than everyone else).
Whatever you say won't make any difference.
Don't alienate him and accept that this is what a huge number of kids go through (difficult as it may be). Don't cut off communication lines.
Also remember that this is legal in some countries and may (one day) be legal here.
Whatever you say won’t make any difference.
I disagree, but you say some things knowing that it's going to result in a proper shit storm which you consider acceptable in the bigger picture. Some battles are worth fighting.
The legal aspect is not the issue, alcohol is legal and higher risk.
I found that the most productive discussions were on a fun for risk basis. This might help:
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-11660210
Something not often mentioned is that if caught and charged you can spoil chances of holidays to the USA and Australia etc.
With brexit looming could it risk your chances getting to anywhere? Unlikely but you never know.
Not read the above but I'd solely be punching my kids in the (delete as appropriate) vitals just for smoking!
Sooooo.... I'm kinda one of those for whom it wrong for.
Got carried with mainly weed and some ecstasy use..
I loved the stuff but had to admit defeat after my mental health plummeted. 20 years later I still struggle. I've been given a life sentence for my teenage decisions.
Skunk was kinda new when I started but got easier to get as years went by. It is far more potent than resin of the time so don't doubt with heavy use it can flip that switch for those who are susceptible. Me, as it turns out. Didn't know at the time but our family has a long history of mental health problems.
My mother in particular went ballistic with me at the time but I did the teenage rebel thing and carried on regardless so kicking off is not the best solution.
My advice, connsider any history of mental health problems in your family, have a sensible conversation and lay out the risks of heavy and unhealthy use and feel free to show your son my post as a warning of what can happen if he gets a taste for it and his use gets out of hand.
After all this I'm not anti weed but I learned the hard way that, moderation is key...
Good luck
I've dabbled in the past. MrsG is dead against it and recently said she'd be very upset if our boy touched it (he's just turned 2 so a while off yet). Personally I'd go down the have a chat route and find out what the motives are. If it's for personal interest to see what it's like then he'll soon get bored. If anything else?... Maybe a stronger chat.
How the hell else are kids supposed to deal with this world they're in I don't know.
Not read the above but I’d solely be punching my kids in the (delete as appropriate) vitals just for smoking!
Tough love 👍
Give him a pile of Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers comix and tell him it’s his future self...
I only fabled a bit in earlier life and had pretty laid back opinions on it till a few years back.
At that point a good friends son had a drug induced psychosis. It nearly tore him and his family apart.
He is on medication for the rest of his life and will never have anything remotely like an ordinary life now. Relationships, job. Not a chance.
Was quite an eye opener.
It's endemic now though, many smoke it just like it's having a normal rollup.
Best you can do is educate your son as best you can. This subject has come up with my son in recent years. I'm still concerned that's for sure.
Not sure taking away biking and gym would be wise as he’ll have bugger all to do
You're right there, IMO.
One way out is through sport and the negative effects smoking has on fitness and health.
Restricting sport will push him down the wrong path.
Get him a new bike .
Teach him how to cook it and at the same time explain how, like everything, it can become a crutch you over-rely on.
Cooking grass with a Ban Marie is a good way to avoid damage from smoking and the longer high will make it seems less casual decision. I'd reccomend making fudge 🙂
Everything in moderation, even moderation.
My 17 yo nephew started smoking weed at 14, hes now a fully fledged road man, hes stolen, gone missing, been suspended from school and even starred in his own worldwide, viral facebook campaign after he was filmed being beaten up by bullies, good luck with this, hope it turns out well for you.
Google Yousef Makki.
Smoked it almost daily from 14/15 through to my late 20s. A day without a spliff would guarantee a sleepless night.
I wouldn't be too happy with either of my boys smoking it (my eldest is now 14), but would be more ok if it was the lighter stuff than the super strong skunk - which I think leads to mental health issues.
Being involved in the drug scene always carried a risk, but I just get the impression that it is more so nowadays. More sinister people behind the average dealer and less tolerance for people knocking out a bit of drugs from their homes.
Trying to focus on the biking, bpw next week for a day. I'm asthmatic after smoking fags and joints as a yoof, don't want him to develop that. Maybe I should bake him some hash cakes!
Strong weed will cause mental health problems imho. Even if it's years down the line after giving up weed. Also tobacco addiction.
You should have offered it to him previously - my parents offered me cigarettes at 15, tried one, never smoked since...
Walking / cycling around Cambridge it seems endemic, everyone is smoking weed openly in public. In my day it was only smoked in private houses / remote fields etc. Very rare to every smell it out and about back then.
Strong weed will cause mental health problems imho.
Strong weed can cause mental health problems, much the same as smoking tobacco can cause lung cancer. There are some people who use either/both drugs and never develop either/both side-effects. And that's not "imho", that's based on research.
https://ndarc.med.unsw.edu.au/blog/does-cannabis-cause-mental-illness
In contrast, the relationship between cannabis use and risk of developing symptoms of psychosis has been well established in many different review articles.
This research has found that early and frequent cannabis use is a component cause of psychosis, which interacts with other risk factors such as family history of psychosis, history of childhood abuse and expression of the COMT and AKT1 genes. These interactions make it difficult to determine the exact role of cannabis use in causing psychosis that may not have otherwise occurred.
Regardless, the connection between cannabis use and psychosis is not surprising. There is a strong resemblance between the acute and transient effects of cannabis use and symptoms of psychosis, including impaired memory, cognition and processing of external stimuli. This combines to make it hard for a person to learn and remember new things but can also extend to the experience of deluded thinking and hallucinations.
We also know that cannabis use by people with established psychotic disorder can exacerbate symptoms.
Overall, the evidence suggests cannabis use will bring forward diagnosis of psychosis by an average of 2.7 years.
The risk of developing schizophrenia increases with the duration and dose of cannabis use. Regular cannabis users have double the risk of non-users. Those who have used cannabis at some point in their life have a 40% increased risk compared with non-users.
That said, it is important to view this increased risk in context. The proportions of individuals with psychosis among the population and among cannabis users are low. Current estimates suggest that if frequent long-term cannabis use was known to cause psychosis, the rates of incidence would increase from seven in 1,000 in non-users to 14 in 1,000 cannabis users.
To the OP, if you want some more level-headed information/advice I throughly recommend;
https://erowid.org/plants/cannabis/cannabis.shtml
You'll find a great deal of well-researched advice, complete with a significant amount links to useful references. You'll also find honest experience reports, good, bad and meh. I recomend it as a reference site to colleagues in A&E and those I work with directly in ITU because it's quite useful both for understanding what our potential patients may be using and what can be abused for its 'positive' side-effects.
As for a 16 yo smoking weed, as long as he isn't hammering it every night of the week I recommend a soft touch. In my experience, being overly prohibitive is the best way to push a teenager further into drink/drugs, as at that age much of the drive to partake is driven by a sense of rebellion.
My daughter smoked her first joint when she and I were at a Green Day concert. By allowing her to try it whilst I was present I was both able to be there for her incase she had a bad experience but also show that it's no big thing for us, taking a bit of the 'rebellion' out of doing it. To be honest I'd be a complete hypocrite if I were to use a blanket "drugs are bad" line with her as, although I was never a fan of cannabis, I was a massive caner back in my clubbing days. Yet I'm still here, holding down a very responsible job and getting along otherwise fine.
Tell him it screws up your testicles for life.
Chill Winston.
It’s all gwan be irie
and
Hide your own stash pronto!
Cue awkward moment explaining to my 7 yo what I was laughing at.
I think 30 years ago I would have been less worried than now because of the increase in THC content that has taken place over that time. At the end of the day though I think you have to make sure he knows the facts, make it clear that you're there to offer support, and then trust him to make the right choices. As some have said above, being strict/prohibitive isn't likely to be productive. My father took a similar approach with me (told me once he disapproved and don't get into trouble etc). Doesn't mean I didn't dabble, but I did all things in moderation (most of the time) and stayed away from anything I wasn't sure of (I knew my limits). But that was my responsibility, not his.
How the hell else are kids supposed to deal with this world they’re in I don’t know.
in this country ? ship him out to Syria and let him see what that's like...
Maybe I should bake him some hash cakes!
Good call - the massive whitey when you inevitably miscalculate the dose should do an excellent job of putting him off.
More seriously, there's some good advice in this thread and a soft touch approach is the safest way to proceed, with heavy caveats around strength, frequency of use etc.
Go for a father/son long bike ride somewhere out of both your comfort zones. Have a giggle enjoy the endorphins and then discuss the elephant in the room on drive home whilst stating you love him if it feels right.
Sootyandjim has got it spot on in my opinion.
Had a puff once and absolutely hated it, so do not have an experience myself. But I have seen friends children get seriously into it and scary to see.
At his age a bit every now and then isn't ideal but tell him to stop he of course is very unlikely to do that. His brain has alot of development to go through, this is one of the reason he shouldn't be abusing it.
Every case will be different but if he is a fundamentally a good lad try to carefully steer him, we all do stupid sh!t in our life so we shouldn't judge too much we often all turn out basically OK.
One thing to remember is the a confidence feedback loop (this applies to all of us, driving, riding our bikes, drinking you name it) Misplaced belief (drinking is fine) > behave negatively (drink way too much and drive home) > experience no consequences (no accident, didn't get caught felt in control) > reinforced belief (that wasn't a problem). Round and around you go until if goes bat sh!t wrong. So a puff here and there can morph into something a whole lot more serious.
Best of luck, maybe buy him a new bike and taking him riding lots he won't have time to smoke 😉
Tell him that he is likely funding human trafficking and modern slavery.
Tell him if he smokes it regularly he will turn out like some of the knobs on here, that wi will stop him.
Stan: I've been told a lot of things about pot, but I've come to find out a lot of those things aren't true! So I don't know what to believe!
Randy: Well, Stan, the truth is marijuana probably isn't gonna make you kill people, and it most likely isn't gonna fund terrorism, but… well, son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored. And it's when you're bored that you should be learning some new skill or discovering some new science or being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you aren't good at anything.
I think almost all kids go through a phase of smoking weed but I know a few who have developed serious mental health issues which could be related to overuse.
Not sure what to recommend other than trying to get him interested in something fitness related where smoking is viewed as a negative. If he is like most kids though he will just do what his mates do.
I was a heavy cannabis user for several years, but that was 35 hrs ago and it's certainly true that the super skunk around today is a very different experience. I recently gave up alcohol and thought I'd try an occasional spliff to escape modern life. I found it hard to buy anything other than the killer strength herb that you smell everywhere. Anyhow..maybe it's my age but 3 big lungfulls using a vapouriser completely wiped me out and I retreated to bed where I had a mini triplike experience which was far from relaxing!
Call me a lightweight perhaps.
I too have experienced poor mental health ,(anxiety/depression etc) for several decades since those days long ago and became an alcoholic (now tea total) in order to self medicate which ended in a disaster.
If your son is anything like I was then he'll prefer to learn from his own experiences rather than what Dad says but warning him re paranoia /psychosis etc might help him to recognise these problems if they arise .
If you want to talk to your son, I suggest you look into the negatives of the supply chain outside of this country and also what can happen to the families associated with this if parents end up in prison/kids in care etc, and to the families/children of users and dealers in this country. Every drug purchase funds the sad back stories.
I used to know someone of 30 who started on weed when he was 14. By the time I knew him much of his shorter term memory was shot and he was seriously paranoid about even very basic things. He suffered from mood swings and had trouble holding down romantic relationships or even getting them started (despite having charm and looks). By the time I knew him he had also moved on to cocaine in addition to weed and occasionally to that horse tranquilliser that literally rots your bladder, sometimes leading to ending up with a catheter for the rest of your life.
He assured me he was 'just a social user' and could stop any of the drugs any time he wanted to, its just he did not wish to stop at this moment.
During the time I knew him he flushed it all down the loo twice in self despair but by the end of the week had gone out to buy more. By then he was using drugs to cope with going to work, then sitting in his car or going home at lunchtime to top up. He crashed his car going home one lunch time, no one else involved thank goodness.
I talked with him (not to him) about how his lifestyle was scaring his parents and siblings and that they lived in fear of his further deterioration and how that was so damaging the lives of others. He said by then he needed drugs to cope with his self esteem issues. He was also trapped by then with his social group, saying he would have to stop seeing all his friends as they were all users, so if he gave up he would have no social life and no friends, as they would not understand or support his wanting to step away from drugs. He said he could not cope with the loneliness and isolation and the social rejection of his 'friends' if he did not conform.
Its almost impossible to overcome the ego issues of addicts both alcoholics and drug users. They either fear to deal with their own vulnerability issues or get on the much worse band wagon of 'We users are special people, innately superior to non users". I have come across 3 addicts with that smug superior attitude, with no awareness of how that makes them look total ego manics to others.
I thought the guy I knew might change when his friend died of alcohol abuse at less than 35. Apparently the whole social crowd were stunned and shocked at his death, very 'How could that possibly have happened?' He said it made them all think about their lives. As far as I could tell they were all back on the drink and drugs in less than a week.
Last I heard he was finally going to counselling (good for him, I admire him for finally going), he would have been late 30's by then. No idea if it worked out for him. I hope it did, as he wanted a partner and kids but the substance abuse had taken most of his chances by then and I suspect the memory damage and significant irrational paranoia were probably permanent. Shame as you could see underneath it all, there had been a really nice bloke in there. I used to wonder what responsibility his parents felt, given he was hooked on drugs by 14.
The 30 year old version must have been soul destroying for his parents and siblings. Every phone call must have sent a chill of 'Is this the overdose call?, Is he dead?' Living like that as a family must be beyond awful. I can't even imagine the stress levels, the scarring of his families day to day lives.
Another person discussing their own past told me if they had been able to finance drugs, they would have become an addict and that in retrospect they were lucky to have been broke. They said drugs give you the illusion of feeling better about yourself (particularly cocaine) and also the social sense of belonging to a 'group'. You want more and more to feel like this 'better' version of yourself and as a result hate the real you more and more. It does not seem unrealistic at the time to keep running forever towards this fantasy version of 'you' that in reality is just you becoming a pitiful drug addicted mess in other peoples eyes.
It was so sad you know, to watch a nice bloke of 30 going down the pan on a long, long slide from his teens.