...despite paying for the toy !
He came home in floods of tears, he took his brother who's 10 and autistic to buy him a toy, they paid for it but some A hole accused him of stealing it as they left the shop, being the boy he is he let them take the toy ! He came home and explained to my wife what had happened who then phoned me, I said go straight back to the store and speak to the manager, she did I also spoke to the manager t was very apologetic to say the least blah blah, we are trying to teach independence to our children its now thrown it back. I wasn't exactly polite to the manager and explained that maybe they should check cameras and receipts before accusing innocent children, here lies the problem the said member of staff just thought hes young he must have stolen it !
they let him keep the toy and refunded him back the money -
He paid for the £7.00 toy in 20p's ! Sweet boy
rant over !
Yes, I hate that attitude too. Assuming kids are scumbags.
Might be surprised to learn that 99% of them are good kids.
Sorry. One consolation is that your sons *did* learn a lesson here. I bet next time someone in authority falsely accuses them they'll be less intimidated and realize that stating their case will pay off.
Bad situation though.
Glad you got it sorted.
I too would be furious.
Hope it doesn't put your sons off going shopping again..
That is shit. Never mind, at some point in the future you can go to the store with your kid and publicly point at member of staff and tell your kid that they better work hard at school or they too will be stuck only being able to get a job as rubbish as that.
I hope youv'e taught him to always keep the receipt as well!
Glad it was resolved in the end, but staff member needs a rocket up their bum.
That is shit. Never mind, at some point in the future you can go to the store with your kid and publicly point at member of staff and tell your kid that they better work hard at school or they too will be stuck only being able to get a job as rubbish as that
That's a bit harsh, someone has to work in the shops where you buy your shit. Shelves don't stack themselves. Or do you expect grateful immigrants to do it for free?
Back to the OP, at the very least I'd be asking the manager for a letter of apology from the member of staff concerned, might teach them to think first next time.
I'd be making a formal complaint in writing to make sure the appropriate action is taken against the shop and its staff. Basically the staff member stole the kids toy!
Its outrageous behaviour
Asda?
Surprised they didn't give him a smack on the arse...
Surprised they didn’t give him a smack on the arse…
every little (shit) helps (themselves).
Ohh my.. This story makes me well up!!.
Your boys must have felt so sad and probably quite intimidated and scared too, especially the for the Autistic brother.
We have a 4ry old boy who is currently being diagnosed to fit somewhere on the Autism spectrum so I can relate.
I feel quite anxious for him when he gets older and how he will have to deal with these situations on his own, this story further worries me.
The world is hard and full of mistakes and this experience must be massively difficult for an Autistic sufferer to understand.
I hope they do learn from this and realise it was a big mistake.
Maybe take them both out to the shops again (probs not Asda) and repeat the process to show them it works 99.9% of the time.? Try to show them how the mistake happened? (if you can find any reason)
I'd be asking the manager to arrange some sort of complimentary behind the scenes visit to the store. It could be quite interesting and also help to restore your boy's trust in shopping.
That’s a bit harsh, someone has to work in the shops where you buy your shit. Shelves don’t stack themselves. Or do you expect grateful immigrants to do it for free?
It is a bit harsh. But deliberately so. They were happy to humiliate a young lad who was in no position to respond on equal footing. There are times when it's nice to allow someone to see what it feels like when the boot is on the other foot.
That’s a bit harsh, someone has to work in the shops where you buy your shit. Shelves don’t stack themselves.
+1. Doing such a useful job ought to be a source of pride.
At least you ended up with the toy (and a refund!) and an apology. Hope your lads are alright about it now.
I wasn’t exactly polite to the manager
Ah so you behaved like the scum behave.
Unfortunately people who routinely deal with scum end up treating people like that
*arrives to watch the fight begin*
Reminds me of when my sister was doing my grandfather’s weekly shop and was stopped on the way out, accused of shoplifting and given a pat-down search. She was 13. My father - who isn’t exactly small - marched into the shop, grabbed the offending Saturday boy by the scruff of the neck, grabbed the manager by his scruff and yelled at them about sexual abuse. The security guard managed to calm him down and move them into the manager’s office. I think the boy got sacked and my sister got a written apology.
*arrives to watch the fight begin*
Never mind, at some point in the future you can go to the store with your kid and publicly point at member of staff and tell your kid that they better work hard at school or they too will be stuck only being able to get a job as rubbish as that.
The problem with that is that there's every chance that the person you're mocking is a student working their way through further education.
I worked in a supermarket for 4 years and 75% of the staff were part timers and mostly students. The recruitment process for the part timers was more competitive than most professional jobs i've ever applied for because the supermarket could afford to be choosy and only wanted intelligent hardworking kids who would consistently show up for the shifts.
In my limited, entirely anecdotal experience, more than half of the supermarket staff that I worked with subsequently went on to have much, much better jobs.
So "You better work work hard at school, so you're able to secure a rubbish job like this, so you can go to University and need to take a rubbish job like this to pay for it" would probably be more accurate.
Ah so you behaved like the scum behave.
That's a hell of a leap - I can be exceptionally rude whilst remaining eloquent and superficially reasonable. You don't have to become foul mouthed, gammony and react irrationally over the top in a general 'scum like manner' to be be 'not exactly polite'.
I got accused of shoplifting in Halfords once. Had to empty my bag out within the shop! Very upsetting.
I got accused of shoplifting in Halfords once. Had to empty my bag out within the shop! Very upsetting.
I did too - and I had and all! Not intentionally. Bought a mountain of DIY stuff at B&Q and somehow missed a £2 tool of some sort at the bottom of the trolley having paid for everything else. Security guard stepped across in front of me as I left. Must have had amazing vision. Was very embarrassing and they were pretty keen to sort it publically - I guess the visual deterrent of seeing what it looks like to be stopped is part of the point.
I would go ballistic, accusing someone without any evidence of theft and then stealing their toy is utterly outrageous - shop worker should be fired.
Feel very bad for your lads there mate.
Shouldn't happen but sadly does. Another lesson learnt wrong way.
*arrives to watch the fight begin*
Kicks mashr on the backside and blames Dez
'runs off to get cake'
This whole thread reads like Broken Britain. Someone made a mistake likely based on assumption, an illness is thrown in to exaggerate the situation, Dad goes ott in the shop and here, STW starts the latest 10 page rant against the Tories.
How very boring. Things like this happen every day, hopefully everyone involved learns a few things and riot isn’t required.
Can’t stand over-zealous power-crazy security guards. You are under no obligation to show anyone what you’ve bought, or a receipt. It is up to them to prove otherwise.
No doubt someone will be along to say that “they’re only doing their job”.
Autism is not an illness.
On a similar vein i was spotted driving in a M & S car park brand new shop so not used to it, i went 30 yards against the direction arrow polis gave me a ticking off. I argued its a private car park, there was no one else moving. Took me back to not the nine oclock news sketch trumped up charges, wearing a loud shirt, walking in town with an offensive wife and walking on the cracks of the pavement
It was the store manager who apparently saw me stealing. Next time I went in and she served me I made some saracstic comments and felt much better. No way should they search your bag in public. They should at least take you into the warehouse or managers room.
They're only doing their job.
In this case, badly.
When I worked in a supermarket, we had strict rules about challenging potential shoplifters.
You had to have seen then take an item and actually leave the store. Clearly, either Asda has different rules, which i very much doubt, or the staff member just didn't follow those rules.
They should at least take you into the warehouse or managers room.
We locked a guy in the meat freezer, about -20 degrees, one time for nearly two hours. He turned blue.
The cops were fine with it when they eventually showed up.
Was this the guy perchy?
yep, that's him.
Those shorts are full of bacon.
Sounds like the shop made a mistake, the kids weren’t sure how to handle it but I’m sure my kids wouldn’t be sure either and then Dad made a mistake and got angry.
I argued its a private car park, there was no one else moving
A private car park for public use means it falls under a public area.
Yes we should point and laugh people who made different career choices it's such a great thing to do. 🙄
thanks for all your replies
1.
to set the record straight, I wasn't in the store my wife was I Spoke to the manager on the phone whilst my wife was with the manager , I got angry but as someone pointed out above its possible to get angry without being a D head...
2.
@Kryton
an illness is thrown in to exaggerate the situation
autism isn't an illness - quite offensive by the way.
3.
there isn't anything wrong working in Supermarkets for the record
4. My son was doing something nice for his brother he understands the mix up - its thrown a spanner in the works with my youngest (autistic) who now says he wont go in Asda again/that will be a fun process to work through !
How very boring. Things like this happen every day
I honestly thought that to start with. But then.. where's the fun thread there!? 🙂
Personally i wouldn't take offense if my kids were stopped but it depends how it was done: if the kid strolls out with toy in hand (given no free bags these days), i dont see it as unreasonable to be stopped and asked politely for receipt particularly if the tills are not in sight of the door but if its "oi, you nicked that!" then id be fuming and take a far more belligerent stance
my youngest (autistic) who now says he wont go in Asda again/
Don't worry about it, I am autistic (hopefully I will get better soon) and I would never go into Asda either.
Would never have happened in Booths
There are times when it’s nice to allow someone to see what it feels like when the boot is on the other foot.
So true. When will you be taking a job in a shop so we can all bring our kids in to use you for the object lesson of staying in school?
I take it you don't buy stuff at your LBS, or like being able to buy food? Some people work in shops because they want to, some because they have to. To treat them like that because one shop treated someone badly is pretty poor.
Back in my mid 20s (so millions of years ago 😉 ), I realised just outside the store I had wandered out without paying for something! 😮
I sheepishly went back in and joined the queue at the till.
autism isn’t an illness – quite offensive by the way.
I'm not sure if your offended by my misunderstanding of autism or the fact i called you out on its inclusion but i apologise if ive called offense either way.
So far i still cant see the relevance of you posting it, except that you feel.your kid may be affected by the process. Yet, the Asda employee didnt know your kid was autistic i assume, and therefore any hint that there behaviour should have been different on that basis is null and void in the context of the post. Unfortunately its now your job to deal with the outcome. Hence, you posted it to make the thread more "inflammatory" to the initial audience.
Shit happens, and as parents we have a responsibility to educate our kids to handle these types of situations
I got accused of lifting a salad box on a the way out of a supermarket the other day.
After showing the machine I used telling them to look at the records they let it go. Now feel obliged to print out a receipt or get a bag for every purchase.
Not sure if the security guards have a stop and challenge target to meet or what. I wouldn't be surprised if thefts are steadily rising and they are under a lot more pressure to have to do something.
Don’t worry about it, I am autistic (hopefully I will get better soon) and I would never go into Asda either.
I’m not autistic and would happily never use ASDA again. Especially the ASDA Express I needed to go in last week. My life must be really crap if I’m forced to use crapholes like that. 😔
Yet, the Asda employee didnt know your kid was autistic i assume, and therefore any hint that there behaviour should have been different on that basis is null and void in the context of the post
Again Kryton you haven't read my post correctly - try rereading the OP
When you put posts up about your fear of flying ill try not to make any stupid comments !
Would never have happened in Booths
You say that, but after Waitrose re-checked my self-scan basket 4 times in a row i have boycotted them. That'll show 'em !!
Oh dear people make mistakes and try their hardest.
Last year I was in a shop trying clothes on, walked out not having bought anything, got down the street and noticed a coat hanger with trousers on hooked on my coat collar, at the back.
Clearly the worst shoplifters ever, legged it back to the shop to give it back. Think it was m n s in kingston but alarm didn't go off. Anyway handed it back and not accused of anything.
I think that’s more than a bit shit. So sorry that your children had to go through that.
convert
Subscriber
That is shit. Never mind, at some point in the future you can go to the store with your kid and publicly point at member of staff and tell your kid that they better work hard at school or they too will be stuck only being able to get a job as rubbish as that.
What interesting/important job do you do out of curiosity?
As for the Op; My little stepbrother got accused of stealing Pokémon cards in 1997 by Woolies security. He cried. Said he meant to pay but forgot. Was 12. I know he had stolen a few box full over a few weeks amounting to at £100+ Said nothing.
I stole a 10p mix once. The guilt consumed me.
Again Kryton you haven’t read my post correctly – try rereading the OP
Its Kryton just ignore him.
Very sad tale. I don’t know the details of where the store is etc, but personally I’d not have let my own boys go to Asda on their own aged 10 and 12. Maybe that’s just me though !
convert
Subscriber
That is shit. Never mind, at some point in the future you can go to the store with your kid and publicly point at member of staff and tell your kid that they better work hard at school or they too will be stuck only being able to get a job as rubbish as that.
Wow people really think like this. 🙁
Just nasty people who feel they shouldn't respect others.
Its Kryton just ignore him.
<span style="font-size: 0.8rem;">As a mod your behaviour to polarise or categorise some subscribers in public beggars belief sometimes Drac. </span>
When you put posts up about your fear of flying ill try not to make any stupid comments !
Please do, and also remember your own an others post re anxiety and mental illness before you decide to be vindictive on that basis.
What interesting/important job do you do out of curiosity?
Wow people really think like this. 🙁
Just nasty people who feel they shouldn’t respect others.
Geez, some of you are only capable of thinking in amusingly linear sided squares 🙂
Do you actually think I think that of people who work in shops? Do you think I have not worked in a shop at some point in my past too - most of us have. Actually I couldn't give two ****s if you think that of me or not; or even if the guy working in the shops did either.
The point was it was a suitably inflammatory statement. The man had (against any reasonable policy and procedure) put the boy in a position of humiliation. He had 'abused' the fact the the lad was young had very little ability to come back to make him feel shit. Bullied him if you will. My suggestion was to put the boot on the other foot. To 'abuse' the position of adult customer and him in his place of work and unable to make a comeback. To see what it feels like to be made to feel shit. He might be doing a phd or retired from a high flying job or just really enjoy working in shops - it makes no odds. In fact it makes it better - someone saying something that makes you angry and you know is not true but are not able to 'hit back'. Just like the young lad was.
I have no issue with bullying bullies every now and again.
The man had (against any reasonable policy and procedure) put the boy in a position of humiliation. He had used the fact the the lad had very little ability to come back to make him feel shit. Bullied him if you will.
Not excusing the issue or the outcome, but do you know he did it deliberately in the manner you describe?
Not excusing the issue or the outcome, but do you know he did it deliberately in the manner you describe?
Presuming you have read the above posts we know exactly the same. Obviously. Also, I hate to break it to you but it was a suggestion to a story on the internet. Never happened in the real world!
@ Kryton
I’m not a vendictive person in anyway,I’d never mock anyone about anxieties etc let alone mental illness.
Update - I have spoken to ASDA headoffice and made a complaint about 4 adults intimidating and humiliating my son, there first response was how much compensation do you want ! I said I’m not after any money whatsoever just a letter of
apology will do.
Area manager is contacting me to discuss, I guess they’re not at all happy that their staff acted in a very unprofessional manner with a minor as well as accusing without proof.
Sad world when all they want to do is offer money to make problems go away.
Seems like everyone involved may have learned a valuable lesson. That’s a good outcome from a shitty situation. Now go back and steal a toy, that’ll teach The bastards.
I said I’m not after any money whatsoever
Crazy fool!
(Oh, in case I get the same respondents as convert: 😉 😉 😀 😀 😉 🙂 etc )
unfitgeezer - could they do anything to make your son feel more comfortable about going into the store again?
If the anxiety manifests in similar stores it might become more of a problem than just 'won't go in Asda'.
I said I’m not after any money whatsoever
I think to go down the compensation route you would need to go the full on "glum" photo in your local rag. You and the kids outside ASDA looking really miserable as junior holds up the disputed toy.
Sad world when all they want to do is offer money to make problems go away.
Maybe ask if you could take your lads in and they apologise and speak to them and show them round the store? May help them in future and may help the worker who spoke them get a bit of a lesson/closure too, as I’m sure he/she is getting shit at the monument.