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What's got 4 legs and 1 arm?
A happy lion!
what's blue and doesn't fit?
a dead epileptic.
what do you call a bloke with a seagull on his head - Cliff
what do you call a bloke down a hole - Doug
what do you call a bloke with short hair - Shaun
what do you call a bloke with no lower legs - Neal
what do you call a bloke standing on a short carpet - Matt
what do you call a bloke covered in earth - Pete
what do you call a bloke with a long nose - Bill
what brown and smells of pine?
a sh*t in a radox bath
How many nails in a lesbians coffin?
none it's tongue and groove.
Scientists in Australia have managed to grow fake breasts on a pig.
Little do they know,
England managed to do that with Katie Price ages ago.
Did you hear about the scarecrow who won an award. He was outstanding in his field...
Stationary shop, moved
What did the slug say to the snail?
Big Issue...
What's red and invisible?
No strawberries.
Why have Elves got big ears?
Cause Noddy wouldnt pay the ransom!
LOL!
IGMC
im guessing this is no place for Joke Limbo (how low can you go) ?
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from Jail?
A small medium at large
What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.
Mary Rose sat on a pin, Mary rose!
What cheese can you hide a horse in?
Mascarpone!
Spanish football results.
Real Madrid: 2 - Surreal Madrid: fish
What do you call a bear without a paw?
Rupert the b**tard
what cheese do you use to catch a bear?
Camenbert
What's black and white and eats like a horse??
A Zebra.........!
Two birds sitting on a perch. One says "Can you smell fish?"
Whats the difference between an onion and a saxaphone?
You don't cry when you chop up a saxaphone!
Venison's deer isn't it.
Stationary Store Moves.
Does this rag smell of Chloroform to you.
Courtesy of Jimmy Carr.
Inbred456 Thank you just what I wanted... 😉
How do you spell 'hungry horse' in 4 letters?
M T G G.
😀
For those that remember him.
Why has 'Edward Woodward' got four Ds in his name.
Because otherwise he would be called 'Ewar Woowar'
Edward Woodward - Isn't that a man with 3 planks on his head?
What do you call a woman who can get a 147 snooker clearance whilst balancing a pint on her head? Beatrix Potter
whats blue and f@cks grannies...
hypothermia
What do you call a bloke = Crispy Bacon
Researchers reckon that excessive w*nking can cause dyslexia, hwoevr tihs is olny in etxreem caess of slef aubse