[Closed] What rituals do you employ to get out on the bike?

Get fully kitted up and then desperately need a poo, especially when wearing bib shorts.

During the week I prefer to get out early so I'll set my alarm if I know the weather's going to be ok, ie not pissing down, the next morning. Anything other than pissing down is ok weather at this time of year!

2 x poo usually

If I have something planned before / after work even Turbo, I immediately get dressed into Bib shorts to avoid the "oh I've sat down now..." lack of motivation factor.

longmover - Member
Get fully kitted up and then desperately need a poo, especially when wearing bib shorts.

This, with the addition of a preemptive, failed, attempt to lay some cable before pulling on the bibs.

Get up.
Espresso.
Poo.
Kit on.
Go.

Anymore faff than that and delay or a bail may occur.

If I have something planned before / after work even Turbo, I immediately get dressed into Bib shorts to avoid the "oh I've sat down now..." lack of motivation factor.

I'm suffering with this at the moment.

Missed 3 weeks of riding because of work and wet weather. And this morning just couldn't be arsed packing the car with bike, clothes and kit for a night ride this evening.

Justified it to myself on the basis of 2 weeks holiday coming up so I can go ride in daylight.

With one or two exceptions it's usually down to me to organise our group rides ..
We usually end up in a pub afterwards when the location for the next weekend's ride is discussed before we leave ..a mid week email is then sent out to confirm who will be riding , the start location and time ..which kind of makes it a commitment .
Mid week rides are usually solo and it's a lot easier to back out of if the weather is crap ..but again as with the OP..preparation in terms of kit is done the evening before and the bike loaded into the car ..very rarely do I start a ride from the door as I don't like riding on the road even in such a rural location .

Can so relate to laying cable.

Good to hear others need to get things in place first, especially at this time of year.

if i know i'm going to be (but with the chance of procrastinating to fail) riding later but wearing normal clothes up till then i'll pull on the socks i'm going to be cycling in when i get dressed in the morning, it's a small yet remarkably effective mental nudge

Prep as much as possible the night before. Prep the bike, desired psi and lube chain and bike in the car the night before. Lay all my clothes out...
In the morning I find I have to have at least 3 poos before I leave the house. Typically I'll get up at 6 and the wife'll come down about 7 with 'what are you still doing here?'
'Waiting for my 3rd poo'
Experience has taught me that if I don't wait for that 3rd poo 10 minutes into the ride I'll be squatting by the trail behind a bush at Cannock or pulled over in a ditch on the way to Castleton lol.

I've got a spreadsheet on the desktop of my laptop.

It's called "You Never Dont Feel Better After A Bike Ride.xls"

It comprises Date, Weather (temp & rain) Pre-ride feeling (out of 10) Post ride feeling (out of 10).

Fill it in after every ride and if I'm feeling lethargic I can give it a quick scan and prove that the last time I felt the same and the same weather I rode and felt great.

Also another worksheet for windsurfing, but that rarely has an entry below 8 degrees. And there's no column for snow and ice.

Not quite so effective now they are more self sufficient, but kids*

When your life is taken up by sharing childcare / running kids to and from clubs / just general looking after kid stuff with the wife, if all you have arranged with her for riding is between 8 and 11 on a saturday morning then you don't GAS about the weather or the trail conditions or whatever - there is no put it off till tomorrow when the forecast's better option.

I've ridden in some proper shitty conditions over the years; now I'm getting softer because we can both be out doing stuff at the same time and so my riding isn't necessarily determined by her desire to meet a friend for coffee or do some shopping or even just have a lie-in.

* i don't really advise having kids purely to give you the impetus to go out more.

First of all invent an inexcusable excuse to ride in the rain and cold:

1. Run out of food. Go get groceries on bike.
2. Choose item of foodstuff or household product (ie Space Raiders or toothpaste) that are 'absent' from cupboard and fetch stuffs on bike to make it right.

Once ride is thus scheduled I begin prep. (Unless I go on Dutch Bike, then just grab hat keys, phone and go)

1. Evacuate body of all waste.
2. Shower
3. Put on clothes
4. Change clothes
5. Look for Buff and clear specs
6. Look some more
7. Decide tyres are too low-pressured
8. Look for pump amd light bracket
9. Plug in rear-light to top-up charge.
10. Take another look at bikes and tool-drawers to see where the front-light bracket is
11. Turn outside light on
12. Decide which bike to go on
13. Change mind (and light-bracket) to diff bike. Turn outside light off.
14. Check charge on iPod Shuffle ("badd-eree, fifteeh per-cent")
15. Untangle headphone [/s]cables[s] string
16. Fit pogies and panniers to correct bike
17. Check the grocery checklist
18. Rain stopped, decide to take the long route. Change bike, change clothing, look for rucksack.
19. Count cash, store in correct rucksack pocket, being careful not to put keys in same pocket.
20. Decide to remove door key from bunch of keys to. Save weight and jangling.
21. Choose helmet and double-check straps
22. Fold Buff into balaclava-style and fit over head, ears and chin
23. Remove Buff and insert earphones*
Re-fit Buff-laclava
24. Fit and check helmet
25. Look for mitts
26. Getting hot indoors, screw the mitts, let's get going!
27. Turn outside light on again
28. Wheel bicycle out
29. Decide to take phone (you always take phone)
30. Go back to look for phone and hear vocal reprimands from co-habitee for a) Letting cold air in and b) Being an 'FFSWTFiswrongwithyou?'-type person allegedly.
31. Close front door, mount bike and prepare to sally forth triumphantly into the night
32. Remember that rear-light is still charging in the house
33. Hesitate at door, somewhat afeared.
34. Locate key in rucksack
35. Hesitate again.
36. Go in anyway to face (understandably) irate occupant.
37. Remove shoes and grab rear-light from USB charger
38. Put shoes back on, check have the door-key and leave ("What? Can't hear you, going now..bye.")
39. Check time on phone to see how long until superstore shuts? (20 mins, oh no.). Remember cable-lock. Go back indoors to fetch it. So fast I cannot be seen. Like a blur.
40. Change plan and cycle to local village off-license to buy Beef Space Raiders and then take the long loop home.

* only listen to music on long cycle paths or up long quiet hills. Safety first!

1) Finish pint
2) Pick up helmet and gloves

I know I need to stop getting so obsessed by pants weather or potential pants weather...

I cannot remember the last time I went out for a ride, even just doing local hill reps rather than a nice trip to the South Downs etc., where I genuinely felt worse after the exercise.

Even a short ~25min blast wakes me up.

Get up, coffee, porridge, poo, put all kit on, go into the garage to unlock bike and check psi, then usually another poo before I head out.

Coffee

Kit on

Stretch

Gurgle , quack , parp

Toilet

Go!

😆
Unbelievable as to how many of us have to have more than one shit before riding ..I hadn't realised this was a 'thing'..
Is it nerves ..fear of injury ?
Good to know it's not just me !

Well, there is the normal morning shit followed by another emergency as soon as I’m into my bibs. ( note, I’m not pooing in my bibs, takes them off again to enable the loaf to be delivered )
It’s like bibs act as a giant icing bag and squeeze me evenly all over forcing more out.

Get up.
Inject.
Grab Coffee.
Spend the next couple of hours deciding with "what to wear"
Meanwhile the voice in my head is telling me not to ride, "its too windy, your'e too unfit, you'll get dropped on all the climbs, your'e not a cyclist"
Debate what bike to ride.
Try and fathom out a route if on the road.
Get re-dressed sans merde.
Check Bloods.
Kiss wife good bye.
Try and enjoy my ride.
Enjoy it.
Or, if I ride with others,I soon realise how unfit I am.
So try and avoid riding. 😐

1. Consult Calendar
2. Is it earlier than May? - ABORT!
3. Is it later than September - ABORT!
4. Do the kids have to be at a place, to do a thing? - ABORT!
5. Consult Window
6. Is it raining? - ABORT!
7. Does the grass need cutting? - ABORT!
8. Consult spouse.
9. Permission denied? - ABORT!
10. Permission Granted? - WE HAVE LIFT OFF!

So, basically, it'll be Thursday 17th May 2018 at 18:45. Back by nine.

Yak - Member

Get up.
Espresso.
Poo.
Kit on.
Go.

Anymore faff than that and delay or a bail may occur.

Posted 2 hours ago # Report-Post

Really heartening to hear that others also suffer from the moment of doubt/faff becoming a reason to delay/bail.

I would also add in trying to co-opt other people to come along so that I would be "letting them down" if I didn't go for it.

As someone posted above, it is nearly 100% certain I will feel better after a ride. In twelve years I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of rides that resulted in me feeling like I'd made a mistake going out. And a couple of them are because expensive bits of bike broke and ended the ride.

Get out and ride!

S'pose I have a routine but been doing this so long it just seems the norm.

Massive bike clothing wardrobe/chest of drawers
Huge collection of footwear kept toasty in boiler cupboard.
5 bikes in perfect working condition ready to be ridden. 3 are mudguarded and have spares etc. on them (the other 2 are a BMX and 4X bike and ridden in non bike clothing more often than not) 3 have lights on them always charged.
Bikes I rarely use are stored elsewhere.
Car is always ready to swallow bikes whole (but has a neatly folded towbar rack in it all the time too just incase)

So zero faf really.

As I have small kids, and a full time job, most of my rides are in the evenings…

I start out making a mental goal, believing that I can throw the kids to bed at 7, have a small chat with the wife while preparing packed lunches, and head out at 7:20.

Usually what ends up happening is this: Kids are bloody annoying, won’t get out of the bath, pun on their clothes, go to bed, etc. Wife is bloody annoying, and demand that I make some sort of decision about something that I don’t know anything about or have any interest in, before she does the exact opposite.

Head to the garage to get the bike, discover that my helmet smells funky from being put away wet, before finally leaving the house at about 8:15.

Wouldn’t have it any other way! 🙂

Unbelievable as to how many of us have to have more than one shit before riding ..I hadn't realised this was a 'thing'..
Is it nerves ..fear of injury ?
Good to know it's not just me !

For me it's the russian roulette of:

Get up

Drink fresh coffee

Poo or no poo...................

My main one these days seems to be phoning my wife from work asking her to put my batteries on charge....usually a couple of hours before I leave the office, which barely allows time for the batteries to have a sufficient charge.

Yeah, butt butter on...bibshorts on....need a dump....

Otherwise Ten minute rule...I go for ten min if it’s shite I come home, having done a 20min ride!!

Get up, grab the nearest clothes and talk the dog for a walk.
Get back, breakfast, coffee, poo, change into bike clother, remember to put water in the hydration pack, check tire pressure and go.

what's with all the bowel evacuation before riding?? have I been prepping for my rides wrong all these years?? is this why I'm not a full endure god yet??

typical routine is put on what ever kit is clean / least dirty, grab bike from kitchen, go ride, potentially discover issue with bike / tyre pressure / light batteries etc during ride, finish at pub (very important to not miss last step)

if weekend ride - above is proceeded my internal diagnostic of hangover to determine route of ride. if right after work - above is proceeded by trying to not talk myself out of ride on gruelling commute from work in nose to tail traffic

BigJohn - Member
I've got a spreadsheet on the desktop of my laptop.

It's called "You Never Dont Feel Better After A Bike Ride . xls".

Sounds good, wouldn’t mind seeing this. Any chance you could PDF or JPEG it and post it up on here?

All you do is make a note of those few things and look at it when you're feeling a bit CBA. Used to be a scrap of cardboard in the garage but you had to get as far as the garage to look at it which defeated the object really.

I like to sing "Three shits in one day" to the tune of the Crowded House song "Four seasons in one day".

You could be onto something there ..ever thought about Britain's Got Talent ? ..
Sadly my record company contacts are either dead or lost in the mists of time .. 😆

This is the weirdest thread...

Rituals.... I just get some kit on and walk into the garage, then either get on the turbo bike, or wheel the MTB out... I don't grasp all the faff at all.

..maybe it should be re-titled " how many craps do you have before heading out for a ride?" 😉

Where the answer is of course one fewer than necessary.

It's a well known fact that bibshorts are a laxative.

Porridge, dump, sort GPS, go hunting for a spare pare of AA's that are actually charged, dump, get changed (not bibshorts), take a precautionary, ride.

gwurk - Member

S'pose I have a routine but been doing this so long it just seems the norm.

Massive bike clothing wardrobe/chest of drawers - all black.
Huge collection of footwear kept toasty in boiler cupboard - all black.
5 bikes in perfect working condition ready to be ridden. 3 are mudguarded and have spares etc. on them (the other 2 are a BMX and 4X bike and ridden in non bike clothing more often than not) 3 have lights on them always charged. Bike collection is increasingly ENDURO capatible
Bikes I rarely use are early 2000s DH bikes that weigh 90lbs.
Car is always ready to swallow bikes whole (but has a neatly folded towbar rack in it all the time too just incase)

So zero faf really.

Edited for accuracy. I also note that you completely missed the part where you have to judge how many Caramel Wafers you'll need for the ride in question

BigJohn - Member
I've got a spreadsheet on the desktop of my laptop.

It's called "You Never Dont Feel Better After A Bike Ride.xls"

It comprises Date, Weather (temp & rain) Pre-ride feeling (out of 10) Post ride feeling (out of 10).

Fill it in after every ride and if I'm feeling lethargic I can give it a quick scan and prove that the last time I felt the same and the same weather I rode and felt great.

Also another worksheet for windsurfing, but that rarely has an entry below 8 degrees. And there's no column for snow and ice.

Genius, I'm going to have to try this.

Get up
poo
no food/drink, cos that will mean I need another poo
cycling stuff on
GPS/lights on
head out the door, lock door behind me
realise I need a poo anyway 'just in case' *
unlock door
have poo
leave and lock door again

* every.bloody.time

Front page poll?
How many poos do you have before leaving the house for a ride?