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Cracking morning on Sunday so set off to my favorite local bit of off road trail. Passing a cottage off the beaten track and as i approach catch sight of movement in the rear garden.
There is a guy stark naked burning rubbish in an old oil drum. Back and forth with armloads of stuff and stoking it up in the old can. He was some way off so i wasn't sure whether to about turn or keep to my intended course. I kept going and he eventually scuttled off behind his house when he caught sight of me.
To be fair it was the crack of dawn on a Sunday morning and i if the guy wanted to enjoy the moment doing a bit of gardening at one with nature fair play to him!
It certainly took the sleep out of my eyes and arguably the strangest thing i have ever seen while out for an early morning cycle.
Riding the southdowns way at midsummer, seeing a group of Druids walking out of the mist. Freeky.
On a misty day in Ashton Court, Bristol: a deer appearing from nowhere and running parallel to me, only a few metres away. Magical.
Junkies giving blow jobs/other sexual favours against trees in Glasgow green.
There is a guy stark naked burning rubbish in an old oil drum.
He wasn't covered in blood and burning bloody clothing was he? Keep your eye on the news!
...early morning rides... what's that about then eh?
a rat knawing on the fetid corpse of a badger.
Some weirdo riding a push bike in the woods at stupid o'clock in the morning while I was burning some evidence from the night before.
a 'lady' 'entertaining' five,yes FIVE 'gentlemen' all at the same time,in the woods.....
I had to do another lap to make sure I wasn't seeing things...
Also saw a bloke having a dump in a bucket whilst reading a newspaper...
JM's w@nkbank (that's another story)
a sex swing
a Machete hanging from a tree...
the list goes on...
oh,and pants,lots of of pants.
Once saw a well dressed woman taking a dump on the pavement at a fairly sheltered bus stop on the outskirts of town. She looked mortified as I approached. I had a good laugh, called her a dirty bint and told her she could have went a few yards into the bushes behind her. She looked like she was about to die of embarrassment.
Once saw a porn shoot when out for an early morning climb.
Peacock outside Geoffrey Butlers South Croydon.
I had another cyclist go absolutely ape because apparently only he rides that early, and I was intruding on his personal space. Not as fun as some of these but still weird.
I've seen the porn shoot thing too and also a naturist dog walker who was only too happy to run over and explain his state of disrobement.
Me on a bike before 7am is the strangest thing i will ever see
A bloke with bluetooth speakers on the handlebars.
I do a fair bit of early morning riding (5-7am) and am disappointed to say that I've not seen anything I'd even consider odd, let alone strange. Must try harder.
A threesome.
Not early in the morning, but yesterday afternoon I met a women out for a ride with Marie, her one-legged parrot. She was towing it in it's cage, in her cycle trailer.
A bloke with bluetooth speakers [s]on the handlebars.[/s] rammed up his bottom
Not early morning, more night rides but I have seen the following over the last year or 2.
Teenagers hotboxing the car, plenty of steamed up/bouncing cars, a man having a tug in his car with a top shelf magazine on the seat next to him, a naked rambler, some very lost and completely under prepared walkers, lots of wildlife and a lot of people who look at me like I am completely out of my head for cycling around on a dark and cold evening
Up on Blackstonedge, Fog so thick you could see less than 20 feet, suddenly came across lots of guys dressed head to toe in white robes ! Spooked me good style !
Was told later that it was an African religious group. Still - Not what you expect whilst riding about in the middle of the moors.
Live roleplayers - orcs, dudes in chainmail, wizards - the usual 😉
A guy walking his parrot
Plenty of deer
A crazy ass huge boar
on a morning:
- nearly getting knocked off by a large male deer running straight across my front wheel on a bridleway. gave me a right fright!
- various animals/birds eating each other
- car drivers being courteous when overtaking cyclists
on an evening:
- medieval combat re-enactment in the woods i was riding through (strange!)
- man crapping in the middle of a footpath
- rode into a bat surveying net pulled across a path at night (the surveying people were hiding round the corner and weren't happy)
- people riding with small dogs in front wicker baskets
a sex swing
Where did you say you go riding?????
riding over to the descent of the hepple nuckle near simonside theres a remote house and early on a sunday morning our group ride went past a naked man in a barrel, he smiled, climbed out and then poured buckets of cold water over himself. I guess it didnt have running water.
I saw a drunk mexican walking along the rhine in Koln, he had a huge sombero and mahoosive moustache... sadly it was the morning after carnival and not the real deal.
This makes me realise just how boring my current commute is.
Must get up earlier don't tend to ride till 07.00 am and don't see anything odd
Call me naive but what's the difference between a sex swing and a swing?
Edit: google is my friend. Stirrups.
Why would you know what it was?
Sex?
Now your edit makes me look like I'm requesting some - I wasn't. Unless....
Clayton Vale mtb track- a girl sat ontop of a shaved-head lad riding him with his feet on the trail. I shouted GO ON MY SAN! He grinned, I grinned as she demounted looking very pissed off 😆
5 blokes? I'd have made it six!
Near to Membury back in the 1989 when illegal raves were the thing to go to we came across 3 blokes who were off their tits. Me and my mate were on Enduro bikes (moto) and these 3 looked terrified 😆 we stopped to ask if they were ok and one asked where the M4 was. Told him it was about 4 miles away and pointed him in the right direction. Only when they were leaving did I notice that one of them had no shoes 😯
Up in Wentwood cycled through a bunch of German 2nd World War soldiers, about a mile further on we found the American forces. Very weird but lots of Willys Jeeps.
one morning last year about 7:30am i'm stopped on a lovely piece of singletrack by a bloke who handed me one of those 'god loves us all' type leaflets and then proceeded to tell me all about his group and that id be more than welcome to join
Why would you know what it was?
Because not everyone needs to google "sex swing" to find out what they are 
A bunch of those military fitness types being ordered to do press-ups mid 06:30 run..........not odd, in itself but when an overly friendly labrador started humping "the fat lad at the back", things became "odd" for him.
Did stumble upon two blokes at 'it' the other day. GF was with me, I shouted up so they could hear us and retrieve their dignity.
Weird thing is in, years of riding I've never seen anything else like that.
Put lots of strange thoughts in my head about the safety of girlfriend on her own, if she startled blokes, who perhaps didn't want to get caught - as they may be married. Usual complex stuff.
Serious question, Rone: why would you worry more about her safety than yours? And did you recognise the gentlemen? If not, why would they worry about being caught?
I would worry about her safety because it's natural to be concerned/ protective for your partners well-being. I can look after myself. She didn't see them, and I didn't want to surprise them.
They are hidden deep in the woods, it's fairly self evident that they don't want to get caught or seen by anyone.
rone - MemberThey are hidden deep in the woods, it's fairly self evident that they don't want to get caught or seen by anyone.
Most people shagging al fresco don't want to get caught or seen, it doesn't mean they're going to attack someone if it happens.
I would suggest the entire point of shagging 'al fresco' is the excitement that you might possibly be seen?
I would suggest the entire point of shagging 'al fresco' is the excitement that you might possibly be seen?
Possibly not the [b]entire[/b] point
I want some of what the magical bike ride lads are on.
Most people shagging al fresco don't want to get caught or seen, it doesn't mean they're going to attack someone if it happens.
I didn't say they would 'attack' anyone.
I would rather it not be part of hers or my bike ride. There is always potential for conflict with all path users.
It's the strangest thing I've ever seen - as per the original post. I've never seen two blokes bonking in the woods.
I saw a woman riding away on a bloke the other day (not early morning so doesn't count.) And equally that caught me off my guard.
I would defy anyone, to be out on a bike and not count the first experience as a bit unusual, surely? Or is part of the mountain bike tradition that each ride is often bathed in sexual experiences?
I obviously ride in the wrong places, having only ever seen two blokes giving each other the heimlich maneuver. It was very vigorous though as it had caused both their trousers to fall down.
But it was also very effective, as the maneuveree seemed to recover very fast and they both ran off into the woods quickly. So, all's well....