Forum menu
Last time I was in the GP's there was a thought-provoking poster "No Health Without Mental Health"
Be well everyone.
Hi all,
Just thought I'd update this, more as a means to get a few things out of my head and onto paper/screen. It hasn't been such a great week or so, not much cycling has been done, just to and from work. It's not making my situation any better. I think I will inquire about some CBT training at least, they way i think about riding just isn't right. I put myself going out on rides incase I have a bad ride, or don't make some improvements. I am hoping to do some solo riding over the Christmas break in the hope I can get some of the simple joy of just riding my bike, back.
Cheers for reading
Col
Thought I would typ some stuff down here. My self loathe has taken a huge dive over the last week. To the point where I am beginning to question if I should compete at all this year. I'm stuck in two minds about it. On one hand, I am thinking about doing better and being recognised for it, and on the other I am worried that I wont improve at all. Went out on Saturday afternoon for a spin on the road and burned out after 15 miles - though I partly blame not fuelling myself properly beforehand and during.
Thought I would typ some stuff down here. My self loathe has taken a huge dive over the last week. To the point where I am beginning to question if I should compete at all this year. I'm stuck in two minds about it. On one hand, I am thinking about doing better and being recognised for it, and on the other I am worried that I wont improve at all. Went out on Saturday afternoon for a spin on the road and burned out after 15 miles - though I partly blame not fuelling myself properly beforehand and during.
Thats seems to me like it's coming down to the same argument again - you need to start riding for the hell of it. Sod the training program, blow the performance stats. You sound like you've got an absolute fixation with how you are performing, and whilst it's great to be able to stay fit, who is it that you're trying to impress exactly? Because if it's you, it clearly isn't working - in fact it's having the opposite effect.
Like somebody's already said, try to recapture that vibe you had riding your bike as a kid. Did you care about how fast you were going then, or how many calories you had burned? No, all that mattered was the wind in your hair, your time away from your parents nad having a gas with your mates. Like Cinnamon Girl said, go exploring - don't ride the same old routes over and over; find new places, see new things, experience new sounds and smells. You could do worse than go on some day rides with your local CTC group or touring club.
Don't compete this year - but don't look on it as a failure if you don't. Take a break. Tone things down. Chill out. Read a book. List to some music. Find a pub with an open fire and real ale.
But whatever you do, have fun.
If you want to make yourself feel better, come to Hit the North on Saturday. There you will witness assorted fatties, myself included, who'll be acting as mobile chicanes to keep things interesting for the race whippets as they lap us.
I'll be at least 3 laps behind them by the end. Do I care? Do I buggery. It'll be a right old laugh. I'll be enjoying bumping into people (literally! And trees!!) who I haven't seen for a while, enjoying the atmosphere, the abusive heckling, then going to the pub afterwards, feeling like I've definitely earned a beer or two
Can't think of a better way to spend the day. Sounds like you need to try that approach. Just enjoy yourself! Take the positives from things
Dunno if anyone's posted this yet, might be useful.
https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
Giving up racing migh actually be a good idea though. If you're not enjoying it, why continue? You can always come back to it at a later date.
Hey, when I get too hung up on going fast, I try and practice doing something well. The fascination with the mechanics, trying to be elegant or just seeing what happens if I do something a bit differently tend to break the 'you're not good enough, must try harder' internal mantra and at least divert it for a bit. It's not so much that I stop thinking down thoughts, just I can distract myself and if I can distract myself for long enough they don't seem as important.
I'm pretty good now having had quite bad issues ten years ago - things change 🙂
st colin - MemberI don't want to stop competing, I've really enjoyed the race atmoshpere and meeting new people, and the enduro format really works for me.
I will never win a race, but I love racing. The truth is, at an enduro event you get 300 people turning up but maybe 10% have any chance of winning. This isn't a sport that's all about winning- if it was, there would be no races, because you couldn't run them for 30 people. Ironically it's a sport that's mostly about losing. Or "taking part" as it's recklessly refered to 😉
I'm sitting here right now typing when I should be out on my bike... I return to work after 6 months off on wednesday, the sun's practically shining, and riding's the one thing that consistently makes me feel better. Why is so hard just to get out? I will never know but it is. That's not exactly helpful but you're not alone.
Ironically I've been getting quite into the turbo trainer- it's grim, but it keeps the post-exercise feelgood going, and it doesn't take as long to get it done- no slithering about in mud, driving to trails, cleaning up after. Just jump on and go. It's less fun but it's less effort.
But I will say one thing that's less cycling-positive... I ride because I love it. If I didn't, I wouldn't. It's not something you can force- when I fell out of love with motorbikes, I tried for ages to relight the fire and it just killed it even deader. If I could do it again, I'd just stop, park it up, and come back to it when I wanted to not when i felt I should. Once motorbikes were my big thing that I'd never do without. Now I've not ridden a motorbike for about 3 years and pushbikes are my big thing that I'd never do without. Who knows what it'll be next.
Thanks for the extra responses. Maybe I shouldn't race this year, but I know for sure I will think I'm missing an opportunity. And with all the Irish Enduro rounds being at least 120 miles away, it'll be expensive this year too.
I also have this huge problem with being recognised. I feel like I need to be doing well so people can recognise me. However I'm modest and almost cringe at the thought of people praising me or mentioning me in any positive light. I just don't understand it.
Have you considered riding in an elaborate superheroes suit? Slightly-better-than-averageman? Then people would recognise you? Maybe one with a mask, to hide your true identity, and counter your modesty. A cape would probably be a step too far though....
Actually... this is a great idea. I'm going to be Or maybe Dropping-off-the-backman on Saturday. I need to rustle up an outfit
[img] 
[/img]
What a guy 😀
I am st colin.....
Did I ever mention the time I got a podium place?
Chin up Col
You might be the source of this problem! Hope you're keeping well...
Get some quality grass, ride out about 3 miles then have a little one. This will help you get objective about your problems and you'll have loads more fun.
You beat me at the Enduro Champs last year if thats any encouragement! Last in my age group 🙂 Im going back for more this year and Im older, mincier and slower than ever.
Just thought I would update this, as I'm not relly sure how else to talk about it.
Definitely not racing this year, for financial and personal reasons. I don't think it would be good for me in this particular state of mind.
My bike has also been giving me trouble, and it's a struggle to keep it maintained. Another headset shot, and the frame bearings are creaking pretty badly. There's no play in them, so maybe I'm good for another while yet.