Pissing on the side of the road. WTF!

If you live in Belgium this is quite normal

TBF in many lay-bys these days, if you venture  further into the undergrowth to protect your modesty, you’re more likely to step in someone else’s turd! Grim!

I blame the demise of hedge porn.

I wondered where si77 was going for a moment.

Yeah, see it a lot more now with increasing blatancy.
I always like to honk the horn a few times to put them off.

I was in the car park of the posh home store, Baileys near Ross on Wye, and a lady, presumably couldn't be bothered to go to the toilets inside, and presumably hadn't seen me sitting in the van, crouched at the back of her Mini and wazzed aplenty.

I mean, Baileys FFS!

Thanks for that. 🤢

We've got a bloke in the allotment who pisses into a teapot.
Not from a distance you understand. I mean that would be impressive.
The GF isn't too impressed at the frequent flashes of his leaking appendage from her neighbouring plot.

Why stop? Just whip it out and dangle it out the window as you drive?

If you live in Belgium this is quite normal

Quite.  When we went to Spa for the F1 there were men lined up against the chain link fence peeing onto the side of the track DURING the race.

How continental can you get? Must be those remainiac lefties purging the excess wokeness from their bodies, or sumfink.

I thought the done thing nowadays was to piss in a Lucazade bottle then wang it out of the window

I always like to honk the horn a few times to put them off.

Just smile and wave boys. Smile and wave.

I wondered where si77 was going for a moment.

That would be “selected” lay-bys 😂

Strangest one I've seen waw on road section between trails - turned left at a crossroads and immediately on my right is a family out for a road ride - mom was in full flow with her shorts around her thighs and her back to the road!!
Dad and 2 kids stood talking- best bit was her bike was leaning against a field gate .
We just said morning and carried on past .

Saw/caught a guy doing it in B&Q car park the other day. He looked embarrassed, what are you going to do mid-flow though I suppose?! The Sainsbury's next door though has toilets, FFS!

Saw a police car suddenly pull into a layby and put its flashing blue lights on when they spotted someone standing next to the car having a piss for all to see. Probably didn't help him when 100m up the road he had just passed a service station.

We stopped a job once under the A14 flyover after the 3rd pissed filled bottle of the morning came flying over.

@redthunder you see it because you are looking for it/want to notice it 😂😂😂

On the way to holiday in Norfolk we stopped in a layby because my daughter was car sick

this was about about hour from felixstowe and over the back of the layby the slope down to a ditch was a sea of piss filled 3 litre water bottles

A Uni mate used to keep an empty 2L Fanta bottle on his mantelpiece and p155 into it during the night because he couldn't be bothered going to the bathroom. He was quite odd.

I thought the done thing nowadays was to piss in a Lucazade bottle then wang it out of the window

I keep telling my wife to stop doing this but...

Why stop? Just whip it out and dangle it out the window as you drive?

Remember being stood waiting to cross a road when a limo with, I presume, a hen-do in it went past, girls ass hanging out the window p!ss!ng into the breeze! (Not Blackpool but close to!)

I pissed on Brighton beach the other day!
I was facing the sea and, well, it was pitch dark.
When you gotta go 😂

Lady in our cycle club has bladder issues and can't always wait for a convenient field gate.

I can't say it's something I regularly see, certainly not every ride.

We’ve got a bloke in the allotment who pisses into a teapot.
Not from a distance you understand. I mean that would be impressive.

Especially if he managed to piss down the spout.

I remember the boozed up Uni netball team on the shared mini bus back from an away fixture taking it in turns to stick their bare arses out the back window at 60 mph on the motorway, showering unsuspecting cars as they passed. This was 1994 so not sure it’s a new phenomenon.

All it takes is one pisser!

Exponential growth is inevitable; primal instinct is hard wired into us all...

though we might not consciously register it, the faintest of aromas waft in through the car's ventilation system, at which point long forgotten senses engage, triggering the need for territorial marking.

However, due to the feedback loop of the aroma entering the car, the precise point of the original piss is no longer a concern, merely the need to show that YOU, above all other beasts, control this territory.

What you've seen thus far is really only the beginning...

Personally I tend to go hide somewhere because I'd be embarrassed if I got caught, but generally I don't really see what the problem is. You're in the outdoors and you need to go...

I was out for a run a couple of years back and there was a chap at the side of trail. He must have been having trouble getting his wee out, as there was a young lady with him trying to entice it out with her mouth 😆

I thought the done thing nowadays was to piss in a Lucazade bottle then wang it out of the window

but then what do they do with the bottle?

Make it abundantly easy to use public toilets. It's not beyond the wit of man. If you are going to rely on the private sector to provide public facilities, at least give them a tax break for maintenance. Standardise designs and fittings. Mandate businesses of certain sizes and type to provide facilities, preferably in entrances to buildings. Mandate toilet facilities for every x-amount of miles of motorway/A road (something practical not ridiculous, not just services either) with clear massive signs to a national standard everybody understands!

How about standardised public bathroom designs. Effectively tiled/panelled rooms with a metal pot and drain in the middle of the floor, that can be hosed down from the doorway, making it easier to clean/maintain.

Instead of solutions we get the typical cheap and nasty British answer of closing and selling off public toilets, then getting the police in to make it a minor criminal matter. The petty small-minded adult babies in this country would rather ague over bullshit newspapers tell them is important, wars thousands of miles away, civil rights issues in other countries that have nothing to do with us, than practical solutions to problems that could improve everyone's experience of living in this shithole country.

I saw something similar in Italy. Then realised it was Tom Dumoulin.

I always try an hide away. The one exception was 2hrs into a 12hr TT when the body needs to rebalance the relatively constant liquid intake. Lay-by on the A14 Newmarket bypass. It was early (about 07:30) and of course I turned my back, but there is no privacy. And it went on for ages and ages! Didn't go again for over 10 hrs. The annoying thing is that the length of that excretion cost me 10th place - was beaten my only 300 yards.

About 20 years ago a bloke is a teacher told me that he'd done a stint at a primary school in an 'interesting' area of a town where... let's put it this way, a lot of people were closely related to each other.

He was met with some disbelief when he chucked a bloke out of the playground for having a slash against a tree when he'd just done the school drop off.

I'm not sure it is a recent phenomenon so much as scrotes being scrotes.

P.S. I deliberately didn't use the phrase 'dropped the kids off' before anyone tries that one.

Have noticed it getting a lot more brazen these last few years, especially when lockdowns were just releasing and lots of places wouldn't let you in to use the facilities. I guess that normalised the behaviour for a few people and they've just carried it on since.

I've always done it as discreetly as possible if I've needed to. Pretty much every layby or parking spot by the road will have a hole in the hedge you can nip through if needed.

TBF in many lay-bys these days, if you venture further into the undergrowth to protect your modesty, you’re more likely to step in someone else’s turd! Grim!

That's the Tramping Truckers, they have very few places to go without it either costing them money or delaying them long enough they miss their delivery slots. It's only going to get worse with lots of toilets at strategic laybys closing due to cuts.

Cyclists are worse IME - I was working on a ride-leading job a few years ago and we had to have a strong word on the evening of the second day due to the sheer number of guys just wapping it out pretty much anywhere.

I mean, it's one thing doing it in a quiet hedgerow, quite another doing it 5 feet from someone's front gate in full view of their house. While wearing hi Vis yellow or pink. 😳

Why stop? Just whip it out and dangle it out the window as you drive?

Because road rash on your old chap would really sting.

I was riding along the canal the other morning to work, saw a fella up the path a bit having a piss.

As I rode past I cheerily said "Morning, cold today innit"....

We stopped a job once under the A14 flyover after the 3rd pissed filled bottle of the morning came flying over.

I inspect railway bridges. If you hear a train coming you get out from underneath immediately.

I always try an hide away. The one exception was 2hrs into a 12hr TT when the body needs to rebalance the relatively constant liquid intake. Lay-by on the A14 Newmarket bypass. It was early (about 07:30) and of course I turned my back, but there is no privacy. And it went on for ages and ages! Didn’t go again for over 10 hrs. The annoying thing is that the length of that excretion cost me 10th place – was beaten my only 300 yards.

It was during this year’s national 12hr TT that for the first time ever I did it “on the fly” Like you I can take absolutely ages, especially on a 12hr TT when I’ve taken on anything up to 4ltrs of fluid on so I’ve always been Conscious on how much distance it’s cost me. Try as I might, Up until this years race I’ve never been able to do it though. My mind kept on telling me it was just plane wrong.

Took my class of 9yos down to watch the Vuelta pass through, from a bridge over the main road. Bunch goes under, then the team cars, but the biggest cheer of the day was for the rider at the back with his todger out having a wee.

I do always feel sorry for the women wanting a wild piss, the need for more privacy and the faffing of undressing and crouching Vs unzip and flop.
😂
We must be supportive of our female friends and assist them if necessary.

And the bicycle with it's silent approach, I can count at least 4 times I have happened upon individuals who thought they were alone, of both sexes.
One time I quipped to this poor woman behind a canal bridge neer Leek 'no don't get up' 😂
And another gentleman I recall on what must have been a very cold day.

My mind kept on telling me it was just plane wrong.

it’s wrong. There I’ve said it 😉 Truth be told, my skinsuit is so tight I can’t go in anything other than a serious hunched position. Presume you didn’t open it? I think the pros roll up a leg but have never watched and Eurosport don’t tend to show this important skill.

Instead of solutions we get the typical cheap and nasty British answer of closing and selling off public toilets, then getting the police in to make it a minor criminal matter.

To be fair that was a bit of a shock when I came to the UK this year for the first time since 2016 - I don't remember having to pay for toilets previously except in places like London stations.

I think the pros roll up a leg but have never watched and Eurosport don’t tend to show this important skill.

I've always thought it worthy of a GCN video but they haven't obliged yet.

You need an upwind teammate I believe too to push you along.

Out a ride on the final descent, I come round a corner and give a cheery Hiya to the guy standing there, I was at this point oblivious to his role of lookout to his female companion just round the next bush.
She got a cheery Hiya too.

It was mentioned above. But public toilets are few and far between. I once had a drive from Stow to Gala mid lockdown to use the Tesco loo.

As an old gent once said to me and baz on the desolate empty pennie moors when we stopped for a wazz at the top of a climb

Eh lads your only alone in the countryside till you get your cock out

https://flic.kr/p/fv3SF

out and about any old tree is fair game but i can just never get used to people pissing into other people's hedges on residential streets in Brussels.  There are still a few open air urinals around which is great for the guys if you know here they are of course

As someone who spends around 4 hours a day on the roads it's pretty tricky to find public toilets. Having to then rely on finding a supermarket in an area you don't know, whilst driving, is also tricky. I tent to keep an empty bottle in the back of my van and for real emergencies a large plastic bag. There has been numerous times when Ive driven to a supermarket and even a services (small ones on A Roads) to find the toilets closed or none at all).

On my first ever sportive I reached a point where I needed to find a convenient hedge to nip behind. Saw a field entrance in the distance that looked ideal, only to find the gate being guarded by a fierce looking woman overseeing half a dozen bikes, and a row of pink bike helmets further up behind the hedge. Thought women went in pairs?

Also remember another event where a bunch of club riders decided to chaingang along a quiet country lane barging less experienced riders into the verge. Couple of miles further on they were all lined up pissing in the gutter. On a slope. Presumably there was a strict group hierarchy as the guy at the end of the line had it flowing under his shoes....

a map of public loos--

https://www.toiletmap.org.uk/

--carry on at your convenience...

Eh lads your only alone in the countryside till you get your cock out

This is very true. Quiet country lane, not been any cars for ages.
Stop to use a hedgerow and the road will be like Piccadilly Circus.
Back on the bike, not a car to be seen for miles.

Every time.

We live in a single track ish rural lane with verges. I came home late one night to be met by a white elephant squat not on the verge but in The middle of the road. Poor woman made me chuckle but had to wait for her to finish to get past.

Going for a piss on the road bike whilst riding is a weird sort of skill. You generally need a teammate to push you and it’s so hard to get started! I’ve done it a few times in races but thankfully UK road races are rarely longer than 3-4hrs so a good piss at the start is sufficient.

Why stop? Just whip it out and dangle it out the window as you drive?

Because since the laws came in requiring you to wear a seat belt, not everyone is able to anymore.

For those of us who can of course…

Eh lads your only alone in the countryside till you get your cock out

Ha, ha, thats great! 🤣

Yes lack of public loos is a huge problem, many closed during council cut backs.
I've had a wee in many a country layby with both car doors open and not been caught out. But for a woman on a ride it's really tricky finding somewhere with privacy. We should all be drinking more while riding which has consequences.
On an mtb ride out on the moors I've gone behind a blade of grass before now. However I haven't noticed an increase around here of people relieving themselves in public places.

Couple of anecdotes

Years ago, riding on Pitch Hill, I discovered a lady having a wee just to the side of the singletrack I was on. Sadly she hadn't realised she'd squatted herself right in the middle of a pudding-bag 270° loop. Attempting to shuffle round as I orbited, she toppled over, whilst still in full flow...

I spent 6 months during lockdown doing pathworks. It was all very guerilla, essentially working out the cars. No.1 stops were in any available bushes. No.2 was basically don't. Until the day I saw the digger driver squatting in the bucket of the dump(!) truck with a beatific smile on his face. I have a feeling there's a bit of suburban path in Mansfield that's slightly softer than the rest.

ElShalimo
If you live in Belgium this is quite normal

I recall being in stationary traffic on a motorway in Belgium and the driver from the truck behind getting out and choosing to piss on the rear bumper of my (rental) car ... usual possibly....normal?

Providing a public service at time of drought?

https://www.wildlifetrusts.org/wildlife/managing-land-wildlife/managing-road-verges-wildlife

I thought the done thing nowadays was to piss in a Lucazade bottle then wang it out of the window

I did, and he failed me for it!! 🙁

Until the day I saw the digger driver squatting in the bucket of the dump(!) truck with a beatific smile on his face. I have a feeling there’s a bit of suburban path in Mansfield

Tell me you're in Mansfield without saying you are in Mansfield....

I was in the car park of the posh home store, Baileys near Ross on Wye, and a lady, presumably couldn’t be bothered to go to the toilets inside, and presumably hadn’t seen me sitting in the van, crouched at the back of her Mini and wazzed aplenty.

I mean, Baileys FFS!

Thanks for this, I work there 🤣

Is anybody else quietly singing the title of this thread to an Otis Reading tune?

Is anybody else quietly singing the title of this thread to an Otis Reading tune?

I am now....

.