On a scale of 1 to ...
 

[Closed] On a scale of 1 to stupid, what is the daftest thing you've done.....

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...on your bike

We've all done stupid things off it, so that doesn't count.

My lights suddenly died last night. So I decided I could probably make the last descent without them. John rode behind me, so all i could see was my shadow, as I rode down the ice cream run pretty much blind.

With hindsight, this probably isn't the best idea I've ever had. Amazingly, like a befuddled pensioner: "I'VE STILL GOT ALL MY OWN TEETH". I suspect this is more through luck than judgement. I reckon ts a 9 on the stupidometer rating

List your stupidity below please. And your stupidometer rating


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:18 pm
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Foot into the front wheel - slow endo.

Hand into the front wheel on a road bike - faster endo and overnight in hospital.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:20 pm
 LHS
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Went off a ramp into a lake as a kid without checking the depth of the water I would be landing in. Turned out to be only about 10 inches deep. Think thats when my voice broke back the other way.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:21 pm
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Coming down ventoux, "oh no, its starting to pour it down, bet if I go quicker I'll get to the bottom before the roads are properly wet".

2 months later, "alright, lets see if I can ride a bike again..."


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:23 pm
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Off the bike (as a kid) stuck a knife into a toaster to free some stuck toast - sadly the toaster was still on, flash, bang, no lights. Parents till reckon the only thing that kept me alive was that the knife was an old ivory handled jobbie so the current never grounded through me.

On the bike, somewhere around nidderdale, big swampy area, just tried to ride through it, front wheel sank to the hub, bike stopped, rest of bike just kept moving. Mega shitty faceplant result - no damage except to my pride!


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:24 pm
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On my 21st (??? memory hazy) birthday I had to explain to an irate (then bemused) copper that I hadn't actually made a rude hand gesture at an hoffizer of the law, from the back seat of my mates Orion 1600i Ghia... 😳 *

No hoffizer, what I was actually doin was scrathing me kneee with me elbow.

That cleared that up, then
.
.
.
ETA * Ahem, celebratory "day out" to Newquay


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:26 pm
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As a kid, while cycling along, I put my hand down to stop my EverReady front light from rattling and put my fingers into the front wheel.
Ouch!


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:26 pm
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Off the bike (as a kid) stuck a knife into a toaster to free some stuck toast - sadly the toaster was still on, flash, bang, no lights.

I do this all the time to get stuff out the toaster, when the toaster isn't actually toasting, but still plugged in. Are modern toasters different, or am I a badass?


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:27 pm
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ever tried riding with your hands crossed over - right hand on left grip and vice versa. I dit - it hurt.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:28 pm
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Put my mobile in my jacket's inside front left pocket.
Popping front wheel over puddles in the middle of nowhere, decked it broke right collar bone in three. Had to limp four miles to civilisation and ask old lady to put her hand in my pocket to call ambulamce.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:28 pm
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I did the famous "one last go" and crashed hard. My worst injury - a tiny chip in my elbow.

Just stupid

As a kid I tried to ride with my hands crossed on the bars - didn't get very far before splatting on the road


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:28 pm
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Cycling home from school one handed, carrying a javelin in the other, someone called out my name, I turned my head and somehow stuck the javelin in the front wheel. Over the bars. Ripped out half a dozen or so spokes. Ripped myself a bit, too, but no damage from the javelin, rather luckily.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:29 pm
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Just seen the "on bike" qualifier 👿

Well, like I said, memory hazy, a bike might have been involved...


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:31 pm
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[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:33 pm
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rode up along a bank on my bmx, not looking where I was going I swiftly discovered the newly dug drainage channels slightly wider than a bmx front wheel. bike disappeared downwards and I sailed forwards through the air to a gravel rashed face.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:34 pm
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rode off the side of a disused railway platform after realizing my mates had stopped behind.

i was very pissed. i turned to see where they were. i forgot there was a 4ft drop next to me.....


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:34 pm
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put my willy into a vacuumn cleaner to see what it felt like 😉 10


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:35 pm
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This is one of my favourite stupid bike pictures (not me).

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:35 pm
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vinnyeh - Member

Cycling home from school one handed, carrying a javelin in the other, someone called out my name, I turned my head and somehow stuck the javelin in the front wheel. Over the bars. Ripped out half a dozen or so spokes. Ripped myself a bit, too, but no damage from the javelin, rather luckily.


Awesome on so many levels 🙂

A javelin on a bike FFS - 😆


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:38 pm
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I've never thought of trying to ride with my hands crossed on the bars but now despite the only 2 people I've ever heard of doing it saying it doesn't end well there's a certain inevitability about what I'll be doing on the bike tomorrow...

Did the "one more go" thing though - 6 weeks off work and 4 months off the bike.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:38 pm
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Slow down to pass woman walking dog, woman has no control of dog who heads in the direction of my other half's ankle for a snack. Get annoyed, stop to go back and have a word, drop map, forget to unclip and end up in a heap on the floor.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:39 pm
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When I was a student in Leeds, one night after the Otley Run (a local pub crawl) I stupidly rode round to my missus' house. Going uphill, very slowly, I rode into the back of a parked car & knocked my two front teeth out. Very silly indeed.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:43 pm
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Have to agree with TJ. Thats a straight ten on the stupidometer.

I'll carry this javelin home on my bike. What could possibly go wrong?


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:43 pm
 nbt
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Trying to get home from school on my new bike as fast as I could. Tried to pedal round the corner. inner pedal clipped the floor, bike jolted and down I went at a busy junction.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:44 pm
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Riding back home after playing rugby. I had scored 5 tries (we were playing against a bunch of grannies, obviously! 😉 ) and was therefore very drunk. My ride back home was through an unlit park.

I was doing perfectly fine until I decided to start "carving some turns". Cue brand new pair of jeans ripped to bits, bloodied elbows and knees and me referring to myself as "a total fanny" all through someone's housewarming to which we had been invited later that evening...


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:45 pm
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I was carrying my trombone on my bike once. For a laugh I thought I'd play some tunes to some schoolgirls I was passing - I can ride no hands.

Unfortunately the bell-end (I kid you not, that's what they are called) of the trombone obscured my vision and I cycled straight into a trench dug for repairing gas-mains.

Fortunately nothing exploded and the girls laughed as I emerged from the trench and played a Tom & Jerry style "wheeer-eeeeer-eeehhhp" - the trombone still functioned, albeit bent.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:46 pm
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Even though it was in the 70's I still look back and think, how stupid that I was allowed to sign out a javelin from school, and carry it home without a case of any description- in fact I doubt the school owned any.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:46 pm
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Also worthy of note: After consuming far too many units of fizzy euro-lager of a Friday evening - enough in fact to convince me I was some sort of freeeride god - I decided to jump a flight of steps in town.

There was only the vaguest possibility this might have ended well. However the locked-out forks put paid to that as I landed. Result - two broken ribs. I am an idiot


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:48 pm
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That deserves a round of applause there cynic-al 🙂


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:49 pm
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Decided to rummage around in my back pocket at the end of a road ride. Couldn't find what I was after so tried using the other hand at the same time. Hit a lump in the road, hands now jammed in pocket - result face plant at 15mph without arms free to protect the old boat race. It stung a bit.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:49 pm
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When I first started MTBing, I rode my mates Big Hit out of the back of the racevan (Karting) managed to get away with it, so I thought I would try it on my hardtail (first MTB and only 3 week after buying it) ended up on my face and I looked like the Phantom of the opera for a week, one side scarred and mangled the other perfectly OK.

still can't do drop-offs properley 😥


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:50 pm
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Thanks binners, my creative writing is coming along nicely don't you think?


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:51 pm
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I had to explain to an irate (then bemused) copper that I hadn't actually made a rude hand gesture at an hoffizer of the law,

talk about living life on the edge... you are flippin c.r.a.z.y.. the stories you'll be able to tell..


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:54 pm
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While riding along, my front mudguard was rattling so I gave it a kick. It seemed a little better, so I took a second kick...

and missed. Got my toes jammed in between the spokes, and netween the spokes and forks, so went straight over the bars.

I'd have given that quite a high stupid-o-meter rating but as I wasn't carrying a javelin or a trombone it now seems almost sensible


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:55 pm
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Having tinkered with my BMX headset as a kid off I toddle to the track. First run in I discovered the importance of tight bolts as bars and stem parted from frame while airborne. Wallop!


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:56 pm
 ianv
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Forgot to tie in to my harness once when climbing. 2/3 of the way up a 7c at Kilnsey just after a big lunge to a good hold it falls out leaving me pretty shaken to say the least. Luckiest escape ever.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:58 pm
 ds1
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The javelin story is the first time a forum post has actually made me "LOL" - superb! Can I ask why the school let you take it home - were you going to practice in the park?


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 3:58 pm
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I went down Ditchling beacon sat in the front basket of a mates butchers bike when I was 15.

We were gradually getting faster as we went down - defintely getting floaty on some of the ramps and runnign into oncoming traffic on some of the corners. All I could see were my knees and feet and the scenery rushing up towards me.

At the bottom I said to my mate 'Can you smell burning' his reply;

"Yes, the brakes caught fire about half way down so I had to stop using them"

I think, at the time, we just laughed and carried on. It just makes me shudder to think about it now.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 4:01 pm
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talk about living life on the edge... you are flippin c.r.a.z.y.. the stories you'll be able to tell..

The [i]alleged[/i] hand gesture was just one of those things... it was the response and the copper's face that had us all in stitches


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 4:01 pm
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Broke two fingers wiping off the back tyre after riding through some glass, pulls the fingers down into a tyre/seattube gap that's not really big enough.

Then after they recovered I thought 'I'll be really careful if I ever do that again'...

Then broke another finger doing exactly the same.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 4:02 pm
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vinneyh gets some more practice in;

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 4:03 pm
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Tried to put a Genie back in its bottle and riding through an electric fence at 30mph. 😯


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 4:03 pm
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Not technically on my bike but i was finishing of a lovely summers ride in the lakes (Borrowdale Bash) with one of my pals.

Anyhow we approached a big gate with a kissing gate attached. Just as we got there a bunch of quite sexy girls were coming the other way. I thought i would impress them by lifting my bike above my head and walking casually through the kissing gate.

Please consider i was clothed entirely in tight lycra at the time for visual effects.

I lifted the bike with one hand on the fork leg and the other on the seat tube. Unfortunately the front wheel caught the gate as i lifted it and my handlebars swung around. My metal ODI bar end hit me full in the eye. I didnt even have the oppertunity to blink.

I hit the ground squeeling like a girl while the girls gave me a funny look and walked off. I ended up in hospital with a scratched eyeball.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 4:04 pm
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STW at its best, thanks for making my day 🙂


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 4:05 pm
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cynic-al - you and your bellend, so funny.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 4:08 pm
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It gets laughed at regularly Emma 😀


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 4:09 pm
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Two jump out at me from a few years ago.

Was sorting out my brakes, bike upside down, spun front wheel, then for some reason went to touch the torx bolts and caught my finger. No idea how I didn't rip the fingernail out.

And when I was younger I decided I'd try to roll along with no hands, while standing on the top tube. Managed it too. For about 2 seconds.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 4:11 pm
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off the bike - drilled through a mains cable while putting up some shelves. came round to find it dark, I'm sitting on the other side of the room, and my drill bit has a beautiful copper coating from freshly sublimated mains cable.

On the bike. Took the bike to centerparcs at Longleat a couple of years back. Waited until dark and then thought i'd use the twisty switchbacky path as an impromptu DH run. Came to a humpbacked wooden bridge over the ornamental stream and thought I'd give it some 'air'. Neglecting to remember a/ I don't do air; b/ I haven't ridden flats in anger for 10 years; c/ even when I did I still didn't do air. Went of course for the big spd pull up bunnyhop thing only to have feet and pedals part company, with nowhere near the skill or expertise to ever get them back near the pedals before coming back down. Cue extremely heavy nut / saddle interface.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 4:14 pm
 nbt
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Sawyer - Member

Was sorting out my brakes, bike upside down, spun front wheel, then for some reason went to touch the torx bolts and caught my finger. No idea how I didn't rip the fingernail out.

Calling Timmy "Fingers" K to the forum, calling Timmy "Fingers" K. That wasn't a nice picture, but I'll let him tell the story


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 4:23 pm
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Does motorbike count? About 10 years ago I had a Harley Softail Springer (yes I know) and coincidentally was also learning to shoot a shotgun. I had a lesson at a shooting school about 15 miles away at 11:00 on a beautiful summer Saturday morning. What could be better than combining both pleasures my putting my 12 bore in it's leather slip, slinging it over my shoulder and riding through Berkshire with the gunslip poking half out both sides of the bike at 45 deg.

Fortunately no consequences but might have been an interesting conversation with the boys in blue if they had stopped me


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 4:25 pm
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how could I forget...

popped around to admire Thinktank's pearly white shiny new Orange 5 frame, both stood looking at it, pristine glory, a vision of new bike loveliness, suspended about 1.5m from the ground by a very nice park tools work stand. There we stood Beer in hand, my arm reached out, of its own accord, towards it and casually opened the seat clamp. I swear to this day it was identical to a feeling of vertigo, I was stood at the edge of the cliff and just couldn't stop myself from jumping/releasing the QR.

Sorry for that Rich, I know you still wake up screaming 😀


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 4:29 pm
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#3 for riding cross handed. I was ok for about 20m then I tried to turn.
#3 for not ending well...hit the road hard and pedal went deep into my shin (still got the scar 20 years later).


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 8:23 pm
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Hmmm! not so easy this one as i've got all the finesse of tap dancing hippo.

When i was younger, i was riding back from an evenings bunny culling.

Shotgun(unloaded)over handlebar.
Not sure to this day what happened, but i went OTB and put out my hand(the one still holding the gun) to break my fall,the way i landed popped my finger nail out from the quick end(where it goes under the skin) meaning a flappy finger nail and a very sore digit for a few days.

The bunnies also went OTB and landed on my head.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 8:32 pm
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Genuine LOL @ vinnyeh


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 8:39 pm
 tang
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my first ever ride down the street without stabilizers i noticed the really grumpy bloke, who did nothing but shake his fists at kids and polish his ****ing horrible brown austin princess all day, had the drivers door open while he was busy with the chami. try as i might i couldnt help but smash straight into the open door. i was only 4 but he was not pleased and i remember it every time i have a brain to handling 'moment' on the trail.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 8:50 pm
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my big brother used to have a girlfriend that lived about 2 miles downhill from us. he used to give me a backy on the bmx all the way down and make me pedal it back up home while he went out with his bird. one particular "downhill run" we suffered a bit of speed wobble and i panicked, went to put my foot down and ended up landing on on the fastly moving rear tyre. the next thing i remember is severe pain in the ars* area and skidding down the road on my back side. when i finally stopped in a heap on the floor, cut and bruised to bits i looked up to see my bro and all he said was..... im gona be late now, make sure you get the bike back.... Big brothers eh!
To top it off when i finally got home there was nobody in and i had to wait hours for my mum and dad to come home. i just laid in the garden and sobbed
ill remember that day as long as i live


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 9:12 pm
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Jumping off a big wall into a rocky streambed on my rigid carrera, breaking almost every spoke in the front wheel and also coincidentally my left hand and my right thumb, and almost rendering myself infertile. Or riding into a parked car at about 20mph because I got distracted by the shadows cast by my wheel reflectors. In my defence I was young and my brain wasn't fully grown.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 9:39 pm
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Working the day after an all night booze-a-thon - I had to organise the strike of a big exhibition structure and getting it moved across town into storage. There were four of us and a flat bed truck with three seats so I had the bright idea that I'd cycle between the venues chasing truck and the rest of the crew with each load.

Trying keep up with the truck and keep my breakfast and the nights/mornings booze down was interesting enough, but on arrival at the store I did the banksman thing and guided the truck as it reversed into the bay, still holding onto my bike I stepped back, trip over it, and wound up sandwiched between the bike and the underside of the truck


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 9:55 pm
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met a girl at renaissance after doing 6 pills (1995 sasha and digweed - them were the days!) got driven back to my mates caravan where we stayed up for another 24hrs bashing it.... fell asleep with her in the main bedroon with candles lit. woke up to a room completly black. The candles had burned both the bedside tables, we were both completely covered in soot, hair, faces, mouths, noses etc etc. Lucky to be alive.....

now let that be a lesson for ya all


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 9:59 pm
 devs
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In last winter's snow and frozen rain fest I did a night ride and stopped for a quick pint on the way home. 5 later I agreed to walk the barmaid home as she just lives round the corner. Thought I would impress her by riding a flight of steps at the underpass. FAIL. One grazed elbow and very dented pride later I had to pick her up off the icy floor as she had just about wet herself laughing. Also last winter just before the arctic onslaught I was riding at Rothiemurchus. At Loch Morlich there is a bridge with a gate over half of it to stop cars but allow bikes and walkers. I was racing Betsie down and saw the bridge coming. I reckoned I could slingshot off the back of him and sprint past. Imagine my surprise as I went from 20mph to 0 in an instant as my forks hit the iron gate. I was catapulted over the top. How I didn't break my arms or worse I don't know.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 10:13 pm
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Tried a mates "racer" as a kid, didn't check I could reach the brakes and found a neighbours up'n'over garage door to be the next best thing, knocked it clean off it's mountings.As an adult, tried carrying four 3 metre lengths of mini trunking back from the suppliers taped to the top tube.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 10:33 pm
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i would write a list but there isn't enough room on the internet. 🙁


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 10:36 pm
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did the Real Ale Wobble a few years back (stupid enough when I don't drink?), short granny ring climb, coast down to a stile,climb over, remount and coast to an 18" drop into a stream.Faced with the choice of wading across or wheelying off the edge, I chose the latter, without remembering I was still in granny.Line it up, hard push on the pedals and just enough drive for the front to clear the lip before plunging me up to the fore-arms in freezing water.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 10:51 pm
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about 20 years ago i was trying to get a pedal off so i placed the spanner on the pedal and steped back a little and swung a large hammer at it, of course the spanner flu off and hit me strait in the head! knocked me off my feet and i just sat there laughing to myself


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 11:02 pm
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aged 3 standing on my tricycle so I could open the back door, cue three stiches in my bottom lip, then repeating the exercise two weeks later & getting three stiches in my top lip...at least my lips are evenly scarred


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 11:22 pm
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I was cycling home from a beer festival in Essex and decided I needed a pee. I popped off the bike, stopped for a wazz in a ditch and went to remount. Seconds later, I found myself at the bottom of a damp ditch, with a Specialized Enduro on top of me.

Two miles later, I was desperate for a Jilly Riddle again, so stopped at a secluded point and whipped the lad out. Halfway through my much needed wazz, the 23:32 from Liverpool Street went past, lit up like a full moon and I realised I was wazzing right outside a row of houses.

Whoops.


 
Posted : 08/10/2010 11:36 pm
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Riding my Grifter to primary school, closed my eyes and took my hands of the wheels booting it down the school lane, the next thing I knew I was flying down the road head over heels having hit a fairly large kerb.

Ripped trousers, blood everywhere and the school didn't even offer to clean me up.


 
Posted : 09/10/2010 10:40 am
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Riding down Pendle hill holding a video camera videoing another rider towing ( no being pushed ) by a fridge on wheels full of beer.

did nt see the car stopping in front till the last second grabbed brake
Front only the bike didnt hit the car but I ended up on the roof then the road .everything totaly undamaged except my pride.

[IMG] [/IMG]
[IMG] [/IMG]


 
Posted : 09/10/2010 11:58 am
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Riding down Stanage Edge, on my own, in he dark and a pile of old snow had slipped down the hill covering the track at a nasty steep angle.

The track has a sort of upstanding edge about a foot or so above the track and about a foot wide. It didn't have any icy snow on it so I rode down that, being a bit concerned about the vertical drop to me left.

What a buzz though once I realised actually how stupid I'd been and had lived.. 😀


 
Posted : 09/10/2010 1:40 pm
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Riding my road bike off road on the South Downs as a kid (before I found out there were proper bikes for it) I noticed one of the brake levers was pointing inwards. While still riding I held on with my left hand and hit the brake with my right hand to straighten it up. Promptly sending me out of control into the fence on my left and a over t into the field full of big flinty stones.


 
Posted : 09/10/2010 1:48 pm
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Out with my 7 year old son last night for a pootle round the woods.
I found a nice jump that some local kids had built for their motorbikes, and thought, "aha!"
Minced over it once and then went for the fateful one more go.
Crap landing, slammed my head, elbow and knee into the dirt. Naturally, no helemt, as I was just out for a pootle.
Thank god the ground was soft!


 
Posted : 09/10/2010 2:02 pm
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Went to an afternoon BBQ in the summer intending to be back by 6pm, left about 10.30pm so decided that as I had no lights the quicker option is go back home through the woods, rather than the back roads.

After clipping a wooden post I fell off with my right leg going across the chainset. A day later my calf swells up as I've twisted the muscle and on antibiotics to stop any infection in my leg, and doctors orders of no riding for 2 weeks

Three weeks later I fall off and open the wound up again..


 
Posted : 09/10/2010 2:16 pm
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Not bike related but, I've got a couple.

Years ago, I was into field archery. In the middle of the woods ran a stream, which I needed to be at the other side of. The bridge was "too far away" and I figured it's probably jumpable, just.

Spent ages lining up the jump, measuring my strides, wasn't really sure but reckoned it was reachable. Went for it, ran hell for leather at the stream. Timed it impeccably, with my last footfall right on the edge of the bank. Lept for all I was worth, to find that my launching foot, now trailing, had squirreled itself under a thick tree root. A perfect example of Moments from my GCSE Physics, I cantilevered about a pivot and landed full-length into the stream. My mate, watching, provided one word, "graceful."
--
Years later, I'd been out for a couple of beers with a few mates. Wasn't utterly trousered, but nicely merry. Stopped off for a dirty pizza, troughed it, and set off on the shank home.

Just out of the town centre and a mile or two from home, suddenly needed one of those desperate emergency wazzes that only a few ales without yet breaking the seal can provide. Coincidentally, I was just passing a narrow alleyway and thought "that's for me!"

The alley was the width of a doorway and pitch black. I strode purposefully down it, to discover that a few yards in, the path became a stone staircase. Blind and oblivious, I marched straight off the top of it. Put my foot down firmly on absolutely nothing at all and pitched headlong into the darkness. Finally came to rest at the bottom having literally gone head over heels, fortunately my face broke most of the fall.

In hindsight, I came off quite lightly. Levi's and a leather jacket afforded some protection, but I managed to carve quite a deep gouge in my chin. After a day or two's worrying at it, I took myself off to A&E.

Doctor squeezes my face like a stress ball for a couple of minutes and, one the screaming had subsided, goes "hm, yeah, it's quite deep that, we'll just drop a staple in it for you."

Ok, thinks I, figuring "staple" was what the cool and groovy young doctors were calling stitches these days. But no, it's a staple; a metal staple from a f'king staple gun. He grabs my throbbing face, stuffs Rexel's finest at it and goes *ker-chunk*. JESUS HAROLD CHRIST AND ALL THE SODDING APOSTLES, BLOODY WELL [b]OUCH![/b] Thoughtful for a moment, he goes "hmm, missed" *ker-chunk* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!! "There you go, come back in a couple of weeks." You've gotta be f'ckin kidding me. Decades of scientific advance and medical research, and we're kitting the bastards out at WH Smiths now?

To their credit, it healed reasonably well. I toyed with the idea of taking the staples out myself, as they seemed to work loose as the crater in my face scabbed and knitted. But I went back like I was told, to find when he removed them that it was a good job - they hook back under themselves, I'd have pulled my face apart if I'd done it myself. These days I have a little bald patch from the scar, it's mostly hidden by my beardy bits so it's fine apart from when I feel like shaving the beard off, at which point it's bloody awkward to shave around without slicing it open.

How are they on the stupidometer? (-:


 
Posted : 09/10/2010 3:23 pm
Posts: 17
Free Member
 

After an evening of consuming much beer visiting some mates at my old uni decided to do some urban free riding (or jumping down all the flights of steps we could find) after some warming up went to a large set took off in the moments before landing I noticed my feet were not the regulation distance apart but my feet were defiantly on the pedals. Upon landing promptly made for the steel handrail. Found the crank had come off 🙁 Still not got any feeling in that part of my leg.


 
Posted : 09/10/2010 3:44 pm
Posts: 11606
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Coatsey, your Real Ale Wobble stream isn't the same one in twigletmonsters pic on the 1st page is it?! I think that was during the wobble.

Things I've done...rode out of the kitchen, then deciding to pop a wheelie out of the back door. As my rear wheel pauses on the raised doorstep, I realise that my front wheel is now nearly two metres above the path as there are three steps down to outside. As I brace myself for the extremely hard landing, I remember the reinforced concrete washing line post 2 metres from the steps that we had unsuccessfully been trying to demolish the weekend before. Was extremely lucky to land with just bruised wrists and grazed past the post. (following week I realised the chain cleaner I'd used had flicked across the kitchen lino and bleached it!)

I also rode a mates bike he had just 'serviced', stood forwards with thighs against the bars to pull a nice big skid, (as kids do) said mate had connected the brakes the wrong way round and I went flying down the road, somehow managing to keep my face of the road using a tangle of feet and hands 🙂


 
Posted : 09/10/2010 4:16 pm
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At the age of about 14 I was waiting to turn right at a busy cross roads in Birmingham on my racer.
Toe clips and a failed track stand led to me falling slowly over to the right.
The buckle on the toe strap was then trapped between my right foot and the road.
I tried wriggling about to create a gap, but couldn't undo it.
I had to undo the left one first, then kind of twist round and roll on my back to get my right foot off the ground to undo the strap and get my foot off the pedal so I could stand up.
All with four lines of traffic watching me and waiting for me to get out of the way.


 
Posted : 09/10/2010 4:35 pm
Posts: 0
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Filled the car up with 70lts of unleaded in a diesel £240 to drain and refill with the right stuff. Pulled up at a set of lights along side a car full of kids and did the usual, didn't unclip fell onto car £100 to sort that out. Broke the wifes wing mirror, only moved it towards the window and it fell off £120. I could go on but it depressing me coz all my FU's seem to cost. 😥


 
Posted : 09/10/2010 4:37 pm
Posts: 5153
Full Member
 

glentress, jump park, in the drizzle rain, no kneepads

visible patella


 
Posted : 09/10/2010 5:56 pm
Posts: 5941
Full Member
 

Group Christmas Ride last year. Ended up in the Belmont Bull. After many many pints we headed home.

Locals will know this... the hill up from Belmont to San Marino, there is a retaining wall on the left hand side... with about a 20' drop into the field below. Somehow, I veered over the pavement and over the wall still clipped into the bike. I have no recollection other than wondering how I had ended up in a field 40' away from the road and 30' down.

Me attempting to get back on the road.

[url= http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2795/4164184146_2bb16e2580.jp g" target="_blank">http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2795/4164184146_2bb16e2580.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= http://www.flickr.com/photos/dave-lowe/4164184146/ ]PC060066[/url] by [url= http://www.flickr.com/people/dave-lowe/ ]lowey.com[/url], on Flickr

It took us 2.5 hours to do a 20 minute ride 😀


 
Posted : 09/10/2010 5:59 pm
Posts: 9280
Free Member
 

Kept trying to do the FOD tabletop after a full days uplift, I was nackered and should've been happy with my back wheel "about a foot away" from the landing before going even faster at it and not landing properly. 4-5 weeks later and still can't use the right arm fully, so I'm feeling bitter 😆 Apparently the dust cloud I caused was good though.

Another daft crash was years ago in the "bmx days". Riding a dodgy kicker and it snapped, sending me over the bars and leaving me with a big road rash patch on the face and concussion.


 
Posted : 09/10/2010 6:32 pm
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