It gets laughed at regularly Emma 😀
Two jump out at me from a few years ago.
Was sorting out my brakes, bike upside down, spun front wheel, then for some reason went to touch the torx bolts and caught my finger. No idea how I didn't rip the fingernail out.
And when I was younger I decided I'd try to roll along with no hands, while standing on the top tube. Managed it too. For about 2 seconds.
off the bike - drilled through a mains cable while putting up some shelves. came round to find it dark, I'm sitting on the other side of the room, and my drill bit has a beautiful copper coating from freshly sublimated mains cable.
On the bike. Took the bike to centerparcs at Longleat a couple of years back. Waited until dark and then thought i'd use the twisty switchbacky path as an impromptu DH run. Came to a humpbacked wooden bridge over the ornamental stream and thought I'd give it some 'air'. Neglecting to remember a/ I don't do air; b/ I haven't ridden flats in anger for 10 years; c/ even when I did I still didn't do air. Went of course for the big spd pull up bunnyhop thing only to have feet and pedals part company, with nowhere near the skill or expertise to ever get them back near the pedals before coming back down. Cue extremely heavy nut / saddle interface.
Sawyer - MemberWas sorting out my brakes, bike upside down, spun front wheel, then for some reason went to touch the torx bolts and caught my finger. No idea how I didn't rip the fingernail out.
Calling Timmy "Fingers" K to the forum, calling Timmy "Fingers" K. That wasn't a nice picture, but I'll let him tell the story
Does motorbike count? About 10 years ago I had a Harley Softail Springer (yes I know) and coincidentally was also learning to shoot a shotgun. I had a lesson at a shooting school about 15 miles away at 11:00 on a beautiful summer Saturday morning. What could be better than combining both pleasures my putting my 12 bore in it's leather slip, slinging it over my shoulder and riding through Berkshire with the gunslip poking half out both sides of the bike at 45 deg.
Fortunately no consequences but might have been an interesting conversation with the boys in blue if they had stopped me
how could I forget...
popped around to admire Thinktank's pearly white shiny new Orange 5 frame, both stood looking at it, pristine glory, a vision of new bike loveliness, suspended about 1.5m from the ground by a very nice park tools work stand. There we stood Beer in hand, my arm reached out, of its own accord, towards it and casually opened the seat clamp. I swear to this day it was identical to a feeling of vertigo, I was stood at the edge of the cliff and just couldn't stop myself from jumping/releasing the QR.
Sorry for that Rich, I know you still wake up screaming 😀
#3 for riding cross handed. I was ok for about 20m then I tried to turn.
#3 for not ending well...hit the road hard and pedal went deep into my shin (still got the scar 20 years later).
Hmmm! not so easy this one as i've got all the finesse of tap dancing hippo.
When i was younger, i was riding back from an evenings bunny culling.
Shotgun(unloaded)over handlebar.
Not sure to this day what happened, but i went OTB and put out my hand(the one still holding the gun) to break my fall,the way i landed popped my finger nail out from the quick end(where it goes under the skin) meaning a flappy finger nail and a very sore digit for a few days.
The bunnies also went OTB and landed on my head.
Genuine LOL @ vinnyeh
my first ever ride down the street without stabilizers i noticed the really grumpy bloke, who did nothing but shake his fists at kids and polish his ****ing horrible brown austin princess all day, had the drivers door open while he was busy with the chami. try as i might i couldnt help but smash straight into the open door. i was only 4 but he was not pleased and i remember it every time i have a brain to handling 'moment' on the trail.
my big brother used to have a girlfriend that lived about 2 miles downhill from us. he used to give me a backy on the bmx all the way down and make me pedal it back up home while he went out with his bird. one particular "downhill run" we suffered a bit of speed wobble and i panicked, went to put my foot down and ended up landing on on the fastly moving rear tyre. the next thing i remember is severe pain in the ars* area and skidding down the road on my back side. when i finally stopped in a heap on the floor, cut and bruised to bits i looked up to see my bro and all he said was..... im gona be late now, make sure you get the bike back.... Big brothers eh!
To top it off when i finally got home there was nobody in and i had to wait hours for my mum and dad to come home. i just laid in the garden and sobbed
ill remember that day as long as i live
Jumping off a big wall into a rocky streambed on my rigid carrera, breaking almost every spoke in the front wheel and also coincidentally my left hand and my right thumb, and almost rendering myself infertile. Or riding into a parked car at about 20mph because I got distracted by the shadows cast by my wheel reflectors. In my defence I was young and my brain wasn't fully grown.
Working the day after an all night booze-a-thon - I had to organise the strike of a big exhibition structure and getting it moved across town into storage. There were four of us and a flat bed truck with three seats so I had the bright idea that I'd cycle between the venues chasing truck and the rest of the crew with each load.
Trying keep up with the truck and keep my breakfast and the nights/mornings booze down was interesting enough, but on arrival at the store I did the banksman thing and guided the truck as it reversed into the bay, still holding onto my bike I stepped back, trip over it, and wound up sandwiched between the bike and the underside of the truck
met a girl at renaissance after doing 6 pills (1995 sasha and digweed - them were the days!) got driven back to my mates caravan where we stayed up for another 24hrs bashing it.... fell asleep with her in the main bedroon with candles lit. woke up to a room completly black. The candles had burned both the bedside tables, we were both completely covered in soot, hair, faces, mouths, noses etc etc. Lucky to be alive.....
now let that be a lesson for ya all
In last winter's snow and frozen rain fest I did a night ride and stopped for a quick pint on the way home. 5 later I agreed to walk the barmaid home as she just lives round the corner. Thought I would impress her by riding a flight of steps at the underpass. FAIL. One grazed elbow and very dented pride later I had to pick her up off the icy floor as she had just about wet herself laughing. Also last winter just before the arctic onslaught I was riding at Rothiemurchus. At Loch Morlich there is a bridge with a gate over half of it to stop cars but allow bikes and walkers. I was racing Betsie down and saw the bridge coming. I reckoned I could slingshot off the back of him and sprint past. Imagine my surprise as I went from 20mph to 0 in an instant as my forks hit the iron gate. I was catapulted over the top. How I didn't break my arms or worse I don't know.
Tried a mates "racer" as a kid, didn't check I could reach the brakes and found a neighbours up'n'over garage door to be the next best thing, knocked it clean off it's mountings.As an adult, tried carrying four 3 metre lengths of mini trunking back from the suppliers taped to the top tube.
i would write a list but there isn't enough room on the internet. 🙁
did the Real Ale Wobble a few years back (stupid enough when I don't drink?), short granny ring climb, coast down to a stile,climb over, remount and coast to an 18" drop into a stream.Faced with the choice of wading across or wheelying off the edge, I chose the latter, without remembering I was still in granny.Line it up, hard push on the pedals and just enough drive for the front to clear the lip before plunging me up to the fore-arms in freezing water.
about 20 years ago i was trying to get a pedal off so i placed the spanner on the pedal and steped back a little and swung a large hammer at it, of course the spanner flu off and hit me strait in the head! knocked me off my feet and i just sat there laughing to myself
aged 3 standing on my tricycle so I could open the back door, cue three stiches in my bottom lip, then repeating the exercise two weeks later & getting three stiches in my top lip...at least my lips are evenly scarred
I was cycling home from a beer festival in Essex and decided I needed a pee. I popped off the bike, stopped for a wazz in a ditch and went to remount. Seconds later, I found myself at the bottom of a damp ditch, with a Specialized Enduro on top of me.
Two miles later, I was desperate for a Jilly Riddle again, so stopped at a secluded point and whipped the lad out. Halfway through my much needed wazz, the 23:32 from Liverpool Street went past, lit up like a full moon and I realised I was wazzing right outside a row of houses.
Whoops.
Riding my Grifter to primary school, closed my eyes and took my hands of the wheels booting it down the school lane, the next thing I knew I was flying down the road head over heels having hit a fairly large kerb.
Ripped trousers, blood everywhere and the school didn't even offer to clean me up.
Riding down Pendle hill holding a video camera videoing another rider towing ( no being pushed ) by a fridge on wheels full of beer.
did nt see the car stopping in front till the last second grabbed brake
Front only the bike didnt hit the car but I ended up on the roof then the road .everything totaly undamaged except my pride.
[IMG] 
[/IMG]
[IMG] 
[/IMG]
Riding down Stanage Edge, on my own, in he dark and a pile of old snow had slipped down the hill covering the track at a nasty steep angle.
The track has a sort of upstanding edge about a foot or so above the track and about a foot wide. It didn't have any icy snow on it so I rode down that, being a bit concerned about the vertical drop to me left.
What a buzz though once I realised actually how stupid I'd been and had lived.. 😀
Riding my road bike off road on the South Downs as a kid (before I found out there were proper bikes for it) I noticed one of the brake levers was pointing inwards. While still riding I held on with my left hand and hit the brake with my right hand to straighten it up. Promptly sending me out of control into the fence on my left and a over t into the field full of big flinty stones.
Out with my 7 year old son last night for a pootle round the woods.
I found a nice jump that some local kids had built for their motorbikes, and thought, "aha!"
Minced over it once and then went for the fateful one more go.
Crap landing, slammed my head, elbow and knee into the dirt. Naturally, no helemt, as I was just out for a pootle.
Thank god the ground was soft!
Went to an afternoon BBQ in the summer intending to be back by 6pm, left about 10.30pm so decided that as I had no lights the quicker option is go back home through the woods, rather than the back roads.
After clipping a wooden post I fell off with my right leg going across the chainset. A day later my calf swells up as I've twisted the muscle and on antibiotics to stop any infection in my leg, and doctors orders of no riding for 2 weeks
Three weeks later I fall off and open the wound up again..
Not bike related but, I've got a couple.
Years ago, I was into field archery. In the middle of the woods ran a stream, which I needed to be at the other side of. The bridge was "too far away" and I figured it's probably jumpable, just.
Spent ages lining up the jump, measuring my strides, wasn't really sure but reckoned it was reachable. Went for it, ran hell for leather at the stream. Timed it impeccably, with my last footfall right on the edge of the bank. Lept for all I was worth, to find that my launching foot, now trailing, had squirreled itself under a thick tree root. A perfect example of Moments from my GCSE Physics, I cantilevered about a pivot and landed full-length into the stream. My mate, watching, provided one word, "graceful."
--
Years later, I'd been out for a couple of beers with a few mates. Wasn't utterly trousered, but nicely merry. Stopped off for a dirty pizza, troughed it, and set off on the shank home.
Just out of the town centre and a mile or two from home, suddenly needed one of those desperate emergency wazzes that only a few ales without yet breaking the seal can provide. Coincidentally, I was just passing a narrow alleyway and thought "that's for me!"
The alley was the width of a doorway and pitch black. I strode purposefully down it, to discover that a few yards in, the path became a stone staircase. Blind and oblivious, I marched straight off the top of it. Put my foot down firmly on absolutely nothing at all and pitched headlong into the darkness. Finally came to rest at the bottom having literally gone head over heels, fortunately my face broke most of the fall.
In hindsight, I came off quite lightly. Levi's and a leather jacket afforded some protection, but I managed to carve quite a deep gouge in my chin. After a day or two's worrying at it, I took myself off to A&E.
Doctor squeezes my face like a stress ball for a couple of minutes and, one the screaming had subsided, goes "hm, yeah, it's quite deep that, we'll just drop a staple in it for you."
Ok, thinks I, figuring "staple" was what the cool and groovy young doctors were calling stitches these days. But no, it's a staple; a metal staple from a f'king staple gun. He grabs my throbbing face, stuffs Rexel's finest at it and goes *ker-chunk*. JESUS HAROLD CHRIST AND ALL THE SODDING APOSTLES, BLOODY WELL [b]OUCH![/b] Thoughtful for a moment, he goes "hmm, missed" *ker-chunk* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!! "There you go, come back in a couple of weeks." You've gotta be f'ckin kidding me. Decades of scientific advance and medical research, and we're kitting the bastards out at WH Smiths now?
To their credit, it healed reasonably well. I toyed with the idea of taking the staples out myself, as they seemed to work loose as the crater in my face scabbed and knitted. But I went back like I was told, to find when he removed them that it was a good job - they hook back under themselves, I'd have pulled my face apart if I'd done it myself. These days I have a little bald patch from the scar, it's mostly hidden by my beardy bits so it's fine apart from when I feel like shaving the beard off, at which point it's bloody awkward to shave around without slicing it open.
How are they on the stupidometer? (-:
After an evening of consuming much beer visiting some mates at my old uni decided to do some urban free riding (or jumping down all the flights of steps we could find) after some warming up went to a large set took off in the moments before landing I noticed my feet were not the regulation distance apart but my feet were defiantly on the pedals. Upon landing promptly made for the steel handrail. Found the crank had come off 🙁 Still not got any feeling in that part of my leg.
Coatsey, your Real Ale Wobble stream isn't the same one in twigletmonsters pic on the 1st page is it?! I think that was during the wobble.
Things I've done...rode out of the kitchen, then deciding to pop a wheelie out of the back door. As my rear wheel pauses on the raised doorstep, I realise that my front wheel is now nearly two metres above the path as there are three steps down to outside. As I brace myself for the extremely hard landing, I remember the reinforced concrete washing line post 2 metres from the steps that we had unsuccessfully been trying to demolish the weekend before. Was extremely lucky to land with just bruised wrists and grazed past the post. (following week I realised the chain cleaner I'd used had flicked across the kitchen lino and bleached it!)
I also rode a mates bike he had just 'serviced', stood forwards with thighs against the bars to pull a nice big skid, (as kids do) said mate had connected the brakes the wrong way round and I went flying down the road, somehow managing to keep my face of the road using a tangle of feet and hands 🙂
At the age of about 14 I was waiting to turn right at a busy cross roads in Birmingham on my racer.
Toe clips and a failed track stand led to me falling slowly over to the right.
The buckle on the toe strap was then trapped between my right foot and the road.
I tried wriggling about to create a gap, but couldn't undo it.
I had to undo the left one first, then kind of twist round and roll on my back to get my right foot off the ground to undo the strap and get my foot off the pedal so I could stand up.
All with four lines of traffic watching me and waiting for me to get out of the way.
Filled the car up with 70lts of unleaded in a diesel £240 to drain and refill with the right stuff. Pulled up at a set of lights along side a car full of kids and did the usual, didn't unclip fell onto car £100 to sort that out. Broke the wifes wing mirror, only moved it towards the window and it fell off £120. I could go on but it depressing me coz all my FU's seem to cost. 😥
glentress, jump park, in the drizzle rain, no kneepads
visible patella
Group Christmas Ride last year. Ended up in the Belmont Bull. After many many pints we headed home.
Locals will know this... the hill up from Belmont to San Marino, there is a retaining wall on the left hand side... with about a 20' drop into the field below. Somehow, I veered over the pavement and over the wall still clipped into the bike. I have no recollection other than wondering how I had ended up in a field 40' away from the road and 30' down.
Me attempting to get back on the road.
[url= http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2795/4164184146_2bb16e2580.jp g" target="_blank">
It took us 2.5 hours to do a 20 minute ride 😀
Kept trying to do the FOD tabletop after a full days uplift, I was nackered and should've been happy with my back wheel "about a foot away" from the landing before going even faster at it and not landing properly. 4-5 weeks later and still can't use the right arm fully, so I'm feeling bitter 😆 Apparently the dust cloud I caused was good though.
Another daft crash was years ago in the "bmx days". Riding a dodgy kicker and it snapped, sending me over the bars and leaving me with a big road rash patch on the face and concussion.
IM UK with p1ss poor prep = crap time, hip dysfunction that I can't sort out...not to mention spending £k's of shite I really didn't need 😳 🙄 😕 = ++ stupid
In the early 1970's I worked near Tadcaster & use to go to a pub called the wild man on the A64, back then pubs called last orders on a Sunday at 10.30pm (this after opening at 7pm)!! anyway on the sunday in question the barman who lived in York said we were not able to stop late because he needed to get home by 11pm & only having his dads pushbike was not for letting me & my 2 mates have an extra half pint of john smiths.
However to counter his worries we said if he did serve us we would ensure his fast & safe arrival home by towing him with one of our Motorbikes (A honda 500/4 & a CB175)drinks were duly served & after a washing line, taken from the rear of the pub was tied securly to the headstock of the pushbike & one mate holding onto the other end whilst sat backwards on the Honda4 & me following on behind on the 175 off up the A64 we procceded.
All was going quiet well till we got to a speed of around 55mph when the push bike developed quiet a pronounced speed induced wobble that got progresivly worse to the degree that the pedals on the push bike were hitting the tarmac on each side as it wobbled off up the road!!
The lad on the pushbike was by know screaming at my mate holding the washing line to let go, which he eventually did & the ensuing slide down the road was fantastic with bits of pushbike grinding away in one of the best pyro displays I have ever witnessed.
however this was topped by both pushbike & rider hitting the kerb in the central reservation, never has a bike with full mud guards,fully enclosed chain guard,dynamo lights & brooks full sprung saddle complete with toolroll flown so gracfully so high so far & yet come down so hard as to smash into so many bits.(we put it into 3 cardboard boxes to take it back to the barmans dad).
When all the dust had settled & we realised that hospital was the best place for the bike rider due to a rather large hole ground into his hip bone.
so with him now on the back of the Honda4 & the mate who reluctantly let go of the washing line now my pillion off to york general hospital we went, in the A&E dept the barman was seen by the matron in charge (remember this is the 70's)"what's happened" she ask's the barman, "come off my pushbike" he replies lifting his jacket to show massive hole in his side.
"my God" cries the Matron "what can you have been doing to get an injury like that from coming off your bike"? "about 60 MPH" comes the reply
🙂
Rangeroy, brilliant bed-time reading 🙂 LMAO
Chased a mate around Cadwell park once.
He was on a R1 race bike in full race spec with slicks, race bodywork & rearsets. He was lapping in a reasonable respectable 1:47 & I was on a FazerThou with new rearsets & freshly fitted engine protectors.
Motorcyclists may see the problem coming: I tipped in to Barn corner @ redmist speed, the engine protector found the track surface before my toe did (due to the new rearsets). Bike exited the circuit stage left, I slid down the track on my arse complaining to myself of the carelessness of the pilot.
So far, so good... Unfortunately @ barn corner there is about 6ft of grass run off then a concrete wall protected by stacked tyres. The stacked tyres which fired the pilotless fazer thou back on to the tarmac which hit me in the head as it passed. Thus producing the end of my motorcyling career (and very nearly my life) by way of fractured C5, T4 & several other more minor bones.
The lesson: when crashing keep the Potential Energy to a manageable level 😉
some really great posts, if my own experience is to go by, it's when you let your guard down...
out mucking about with friends at the local jump spot, finished up and rode to the shops, couple of beers and sprint home (i was a lot younger and fitter)
all i can remember is a flash and a lot of pain - turned out i had clipped a bollard with my bar, was going 'quite fast' and face planted sans helmet
actually walked away,
couldn't see mind cos of the swelling, also had broken skull, eye socket and nose. to this day glasses don't sit right on my face as it's skew wiff
had a few injuries since, including a couple of ribs, but never been so stupid as to ride a bit pissed without a helmet...
...until last year, went out for a long ride - had one of those over the bars, oh shit moments, and walked away fine - then went out for a 'few beers' that evening. run out of booze at mine, so me and a mate rode back to his, on the way back... doesn't matter how it happened... rode into a brick wall.
Not to bad, broken shoulder and a shot of morphine before they'd move me (despite i'd actually taked my t-shirt off to have a look!)
most stupid cycling incident
years ago, as a lad, a bike computer was something you bolted to the end of the axle, it hung down on a metal fitting strip had had a sort of jockeywheel on the inside and this was turned by a 'metal tag' that you clamped on one spoke, which every wheel rotation hit a 'peak' on the jockey wheel thing and drove it round. Anyway, boy, new toy, spannering, offski, belting along, mileometer not working, the tab wasn't hitting the clicker, so in my frustration I tried bending the fitting strip in a bit by kicking it - sadly the mileometer went into the spokes .............
a close cycling second, in my day fireworks were basic, bangers, catherine wheels, roman candles, vesuvius flares and small weeeoosh rockets. So, all out on bikes, a mate (with a rich dad - a GEARED racing bike - wow) and some hefty fireworks, anyway in the interests of science we strapped the large rockets to Grahams frame and off to the top of the hill, speed record attempt on. Off he went, sadly Grahams dad was the first person on the island to have bought the now rather common exploding rockets, hospital job.
Must have been 10 or 11. Cycling round my estate on a warm summers night. I'm riding no handed at a fair pace when my front wheel hit a stone or a bump or something. The handlebars twisted and then my knee hit them which sent me and the bike into a catastrophic crash. I remember flying through the air with the bike, landing heavily with the bike on top of me and then skidding along the road forever. Someone came out from their house and helped me. Took me in and seen to the multiple cuts and grazes then phoned my parents to come and get me.
1. We used to use our bar ends as rocket launches and ride around the local park firing them at each other......
2. Pierce a conker with a meat skewer....And my hand....
3. Use a bowling ball as a football down the alley.....Broken ankle....
4. Let go of a rope swing at 30ft....Internal bleeding and concusion....
5. "One" last go at a no hander over a double-forgot to put hands back on....Chainrings in back of head-more stritches...
List goes on....
rode around the island on irvine boating lake when it was frozen.
its about 5 foot deep and i cant swim.
also, no spd's, so i was wearing ice skates instead.
it didnt seem stupid at the time, and i was ok too, didnt go through the ice.
Without a doubt, it was learning skateboarding in my mid 30's.
I was getting pretty good. Could manual a bit and do small drop-ins.
We'd gone to a big indoor skatepark in Liverpool and I reckoned I could do this 4 foot high drop in. And I did, rolled down the vert no problems, onto the flat, small drop onto the concrete, did that, wobbled, stepped off the front of the board, leg sideways, SNAP!!!
A lad said he heard my leg crack. Obviously, since I'm a bloke I assumed it was just a bit of a sprain and some beer would make it better. I drove home using an umbrella to press the cltch pedal and set about drinking beer to make it right. Spent the night sweating in agony. Took my son to football the next day using the same method. Watched him play football for three hours. When I got back into the car I banged my knee against the frame and passed out with the pain. When I came round my wife suggested we go to the hospital. Pfft!
She eventually convinced me and we nipped round there, just to see. I passed out again in the waiting room but we eventually learned I'd broken my knee. 3 months in plaster.
After that, I'd say getting a job in the public sector was a fairly stupid idea. I shudder every time I think about it.
