Forum menu
The club im in, the Rother Valley Riders in Sheffield do regular night rides on a tuesday, 7pm till 9,30pm, because its every week, it can planned arounfd family life.
Also one of the best rides they do, is the Dawn Raids , where they park up at local cafe/ Local pub in the peak district at 5 am... yes 5 am, go on a 3 hr peaks ride, when you get back to the car, the Cafe / Pub is open ofeering a full cooked breakfast, eat that, your home for 10.30am, rest of the day with the family.
I have a 7yr old, and hes now getting into MTB, but you need to compromise and so does the other half, simple as that.
Its not the kids that are stopping you riding bikes its the amount of time you are away for work. 12.5 hours a day is insane. How much of that is commuting? Can you move or change jobs, you need to work to live. When your kids get older you will never see them unless its the weekend as they will be in bed before you get home.
I don't have kids but I leave the house at 7:30 and I am home for between 4:30 and 5:30 depending on when I finish and home for 1:30 on a Friday and I still feel that I don't have enough free time. I would love to only work 4 days!
It’s not impossible to ride and be a dad, so the best advice I could give is how I’ve managed it.
I’m managing 5 to 6hrs a weeks at the moment but I have to divide that up between road and mountain, but the focus is always on maximising my mountain time and ensuring the bank of brownie points is full enough for the times I want a full day it’s an easy conversation then.
It’s important you underrated your family habits and working around them to fit it in, but it’s more than important that if you’re getting time to do your thing then your miss’s does also and it becomes part of the family routine.
Commute
Turbo trainer
Pilate’s and yoga (don’t scoff it contributes, something you can also do with a baby, there will be plenty of classes, go on your own or a a family, do it at home too)
Throw a set of slicks on the mountain or get yourself a road bike.
Running.
I’ve had 2 very different life styles/relationships and still managed to get to ride, maybe not as much when your free and single but still got enough in to keep up with the lads and enjoy the type of riding I liked doing.
My first relationship we had twins, work life was shifts and about a 40min car commute into work, i lived in location where it was drive to ride, and I was doing the gym twice a week. MTB consisted of a Tuesday night ride, 1 full weekend day a month with short mornings on the other days. Btw she hated me riding, but it wasn’t the reason for the failed relationship, honest.
Remember everything is focusing on maximising my mountain time, so I started commuting which took exactly the same amount of time to drive into work, making sure it was as full gas as possible, that was 4 times a week, Fridays was used as a logistics day swapping shirts and toiletries around at work.
Gym consisted trying to be like a gorilla and core stability and cardio came later once the penny dropped I was wasting my time especially for bike riding.
So in total my exercise time was around 5hrs commuting, 2 hours gym, 1 to 3ish(not including travel time) weekend MTB, 8ish hours a week, that’s a lot. If I’d have focused more on this time and done things with a little more though I could have been way fitter. Travel time is one area we can all use better, I did eventually start riding to the gym once it clicked I was wasting time sat in the car traveling to the gym.
It was surprising that in-between relationship’s my actual exercise time didn’t increase I just added more hobbies, but what you realise quickly is once kids come along you can’t do everything, you might have room for 1 hobby.
I have a total different life style to my previous relationship, a more understanding partner, a different job and I live in a different location and a 3 year old.
So now I work from home spending most of the day on meetings, which I control in a way. Gym has total gone, I used the money I saved from this to buy a half decent road bike. More importantly I can ride from my back door. Maximising my MTB time is still the focus.
I still ride Tuesday nights, and now I’m on 2 full days a month at weekend and quick MTB blasts on the other.
I still deposit in the Bank of brownie points and ensure if I want to do something outside my riding routine it’s discussed as far in advanced with the wife as possible. 9 times out of 10 she rarely objects. Remember family does have to come first.
So now it’s an hour road full gas at lunch or between meetings, during summer when the soaps are on I’ll get one in. I have several hour road routes I know I can do, it helps she knows I’ll be back home when I say I will be.
I’ll even do turbo sessions when time is tight or the weather is to sh1te for either road or MTB. Don’t be sat on it form an hour we’re not roadies, 30mins max.
For MTB I still get a regular Tuesday in, and maybe I’ll swap the hour Road in the evening for a quick of road blast. And as long as I give the family heads I want a full day at weekends as far in advance I’ll get a Peaks, Lakes or Wales MTB trip in.
I average around 6hours a week riding time now, which I’m quite happy with. There’s no drive to ride anymore other than the pre-planned big days out. More importantly I ensure I spend more time with the family and the other half than I do in the saddle. I’ve even managed a few weekenders and Spain trip.
Deposit at the bank of brownie points, put the family first and work around them, especially the wife.
Use your time wisely to maximise those big days out, set a goal if need be.
Don’t be afraid of the turbo or road riding
Commute
When the littles get old enough go ride with the family.
[img] https://flic.kr/p/NY81ae [/img]
When i was commuting into London I found even a few miles on the Brompton at each end kept me sane, and also kept the fitness ticking over for a weekend ride.
Ah ha, just wait till you've got two minimum and are involved with helping out at kids clubs (for me its the Scouts, Cubs and Beavers prior) AND fit all the rest in. It'll be no bother! Make sure you take time to reflect no matter what the situation is.
Good luck!
Splitting from my daughter's mum gave me loads of time to ride my bike. Probably not the best solution though 😆
As revealed on another thread a few months back, I am a dad x8, the eldest being 18 and the youngest 3.
Up until I did my back in again in July of this year, I had ridden almost every day for 12 months. And even though I have done very few 'leisure' or competitive miles since July, I still commute by bike every day (notwithstanding the fact that I lost two of my bikes to theft this weekend!).
In any case, in order to do the miles, I mix it up a lot. I have a turbo trainer with a bike set up on it permanently in my front room; I get out on the road at night, after the little ones are in bed, quite a bit; sometimes it means getting up early and riding before doing family things; and sometimes we incorporate rides into our family activities.
An example of the latter is the fact that Mrs SR, and a few of the kids, love hiking. Living near-ish to Cwmcarn means that we have gone prepared for a hike, while I also take my bike with me. Then, while Mrs SR has started off with the kids, I have ridden a circuit of Twrch, returned to put the bike away, got a location on the rest of the family, and joined them wherever they were.
In any case, I like riding enough that the effort has always been worth it. So I would say, 'if there's a will, there's a way'.
Finally, I would also say, 'never give up'. As matt_outandabout illustrates with his pics, above, there is great joy to be had in watching the young ones pick up their mum's/dad's passion for cycling and make it their own. Soon, you'll be riding together. 8)
As others have said commuting is your friend if able to ride. And an understanding other half. My Mrs likes to run and ride as well so it's a question of ensuring we both get our fix.
We've got three kids (12, 9 and 5) and I've been fortunate my better half has not worked since we had the first so I don't have drop off and pick up duties.
I struggle with the mountain bike nowadays due to injury but clock up plenty of distance on the road bike and vary routes in and out each day. Typically average about 20 to 25km each way.
Also, personally I found riding kept me sane in those early months/years of kids which although great, are hard work.
Have you broached the subject of WFH some days?
I'm sad at how many of you are negotiating quid pro quos based on dad riding and mum "going shopping" or other such. I'm lucky enough that my other half also likes biking so the negotiations were a lot easier - she had a three hour ride on Saturday, I'll get one in on Sunday (or vice versa).
Even better, as soon as little ones can ride in a seat or trailer (basically once they can hold their heads up) you can go for rides together - maybe not the gnarliest of gnarfests, but a couple of miles on old railway sustrans, towpaths or even a few laps of the local park is still riding and it's all good.
And then before you know it they're on a tag-along thing, then their own bike, then a bigger bike, then another even bigger bike...
Oh, and riding to work if at all possible (if it's not feasible to do the whole thing, look at a split journey: car or train part way in, then bike the rest).
Bookmarked. Advice here will be the cornerstone of any crappy resolutions I make even though I've been dadding it up for 10 years now.
Daughter coming up for 2, another on the way soon.
It's the odd Sunday morning for me, then a couple of weekends a year where I meet mates, we take Friday off work, do BPW, ride somewhere else the following morning then home for Saturday afternoon. They get planned months in advance.
I really struggle to just get out for a ride on my own, too many house things to attend to, easy to end up just frittering away a day and not doing that much as I'd not planned it and put it in the diary weeks before.
Should really get around to joining the local club and doing some night rides with them.
Some great replies here. Some things as a recent (ish ) dad ive clocked up 1100miles this year. I’ve also been on what I class as biking holidays (overnight stay) so I’m counting myself very very verylucky.
My daughter is 17 months Old. Weve had a good un it seems and while weve spent numerous evenings this year in A&E with her its been great to look after her. Hats off to her mum who I admit does 99% of all the baby work but I’m far from a hands off dad. Its great to see folks pictures of their 4yr old son whipping it over a 20ft gap jump while high fiving their dad on matching carbon bikes while on their 3rd ride that week. For me it s not quite that easy to get out and I certainly wont be doing it with the little one anytime soon. Ive got lots of guys that ride with our Wednesday night group who all have kids between a year and 10ish. I think were all happy that we get out as often as we do.
Me and the wife have a google calendar. This is the cornerstone of any ride planning. Quite often she would sneak the parents in or something of similar hindrance to a ride without me knowing and then say “its on the calendar haven’t you seen” when it clearly wasn’t the day before. However I’ve started booking a ride in at the weekend and can say the same “its been there for 6 months” and shes fine with that. Unfortunately shes now playing me at my own game and so as a family were booked up for a good 3 months in advance of anything 🙁
Ive got a Wednesday night ride that I try and get out on every week. This is basically the only guaranteed riding I get. I miss the odd one due to various reasons but im thankful that I ride with a really good group of friends in the CMBC. It always cheers me up and keeps me semi sane. Its tough though as one ride a week or fortnight means its hard work when you do get out.
When I cant get out retail therapy works. Ive bought some right crap this year and am now skint 🙂
There’s also the bargaining phase. Book the missus something to do. What I do is say right ive booked you a spa day / morning etc or go out with your friends / see family. Ill look after the kid. This works really well. A couple of these weekends back to back and your almost guaranteed getting a Sunday off or something similar. One of the best things I’ve found I can do is daddy daycare. I pop to a local play gym with the little one. Its great. The missus gets a morning off, you get a bacon butty and a coffee and the little one gets to go and smack herself of soft play type stuff. Everyone’s a winner.
Ive lost count of the number of epic rides ive missed out on this year. That doesn’t matter ive had some lovely times with the young un (and some shouting bawling sobbing ones with the missus) but its all swings and roundabouts. Im happy for the times ive been out and not sad about he ones ive missed.
I'm sad at how many of you are negotiating quid pro quos based on dad riding and mum "going shopping" or other such.
Why sad? Why force your partner into something she doesn't want to do ?
As with most of the replies, I've now got a dad-bod from giving the priority of time for the wee fella over going out cycling etc. But, there is a great deal to be said for the memories and enjoyment of spending time with the little one.
OP - your shifts sound crap - I hope you're getting paid appropriately, otherwise founder chap will find all his employees falling by the wayside through either working them into the ground, or going elsewhere for a better life.
I've very much changed now into the work to live category rather than live to work category - its not all about bigger and better - I get more enjoyment out of being content with what I have
My boy is nearly 3, I've been at uni full time + working part time + house renovation for the best part of those 3 years. Get a bike trailer!
What I do is pop his balance bike in the back of the trailer. Ride around town / run some errands (I try and get to the market and often pick up a little bite to eat for both of us too, so he gets to experience various styles of food too) followed by a trip to the park and if he fancies, bike riding - which is enormously rewarding. I'll also try an occasional sprint or push hard on any hills (it's quite flat here).
Now he's a bit older, he goes swimming with mum on a Saturday morning and I'm out of the house before they are, back around noon/1pm for quality family time.
Your job sounds totally mental hours and, Imo, beyond reasonable. Maybe life BC but with children, I would seriously look at flexible working arrangements. Currently, it sounds like prison may offer you more free time / flexibility!
Good luck!
Bookmarked this thread too, some great advice I'll be borrowing.
Our wee one has just turned 13 months, my riding has fallen away rapidly. I've got a 8am leave the house and about a 6:30 home work day.
Favorite things I've found:
[u]Got lights[/u], done night rides on the MTB once baby is asleep.
[u]Got a road bike[/u], much easier, less hassle to get rides in, no cleaning, less maintenance, tend to just put it away, clean and lube once a fortnight.
[u]Dropped events[/u], I tried to do all three Tweedlove Enduro's this year, it wasn't appreciated by my wife, so race events are being dropped for 2017!
[u]Got a trailer[/u], not much use so far, but when it warms up I'm looking forwards to adventure trips out.
[u]Shared ical[/u], brilliant for planning shared time. When I do ride it tends to be very early (I'm good with getting up at crazy hours now) and back by midday, the afternoon is family time.
[u]Wife has her own time[/u], together and on her own, if I'm out one day, she gets to call the next one, we don't always do separate things, but the knowledge that the option is there helps.
I've put a couple of days away in the calendar for next year, I'm hoping that much pre-planning helps.
Fact of life that kids especially when small take up a lot of time and energy. As above exchange a few hours with the wife so she can do what she wants and you can get a ride in. Ride from the door saves a lot of time so if that means road or more xc then adapt. If you have space for a turbo that helps to keep you fit, one of the downsides of riding rarely is that when you do get out you're not fit enough to enjoy the ride.
An away day (and night) once or twice a year helps you keep sane and provides something to look forward to.
i went through the same thing OP. gonzy 1 arrived 9 years ago and due to wanting to spend time with him, giving the wife a break and my odd working hours meant i hardly spent any time on the bike. i could count on one hand the number of rides i went on during a 5 year period. then we moved house...i reduced the bike collection and gonzy 2 arrived. wife was on mat leave so had the the car and gonzy 1 was at school. so i started to ride to work. when she went back to work gonzy 2 was in full time daycare so the biking to work stopped but i did find time to ride on weekends but this was once every couple of weeks.
then gonzy 3 arrived so i bought a bike on c2w to commute to work on. wife had a longer time off work due to mat leave, accrued leave and extended break so i got to enjoy the riding. but it was mostly road riding but again i would get the mtb out once every few weeks. for the last 18 months i've not commuted on the bike as i do the school run then drive to work. wife picks the car up off me when she finishes and bus it home. but the kids are a bit older and more demanding of my time so again i've found myself riding once a month but we've got better at managing our time with the kids so i'm now allowed to ride 2/3 times a month...that usually one night ride and 2 weekend rides
gonzy 1 is 9 now and more or less fits my current bike which i plan to hand over to him once i get my new one in the new year so i'll at least have a bigger excuse to go out riding
for once i agree with something Jambalaya says 😯
From the start of our marriage and into parenthood (now for 11 years) I have ridden every other Sunday and as so many excellent members have said on that weekend I take the girls on the Saturday so that Mrs C has a break. I really look forward to my Sundays and we make the most of the non-riding Sundays as family time. To us it is the best of both worlds, get to be fully part of the family, but get my 4 hour hit every other week. Like riding, it is all a question of balance!!!
This thread could not have come at a better time. Mini Alpha is 3 months old this week and I have managed a rather pathetic 4 rides, including mtb and rollers. Tbh, it's not the lack of riding that annoys me, rather the self imposed guilt I feel when I want to do something for myself.
Planning ahead is a good idea, and getting rides into the calendar in advance at least once a month. Getting up early is also the way forward to get on the rollers. Unfortunately I'm not much of a morning person...however, I guess 'get up, or shut up' must become my mantra!
When you become a dad its a huge shift, dads have to start paying for a lot more in most cases, there's the sleep deprivation and most dads I know take a bit of time out from biking once little one is born.
But once you give up those bike riding days for long enough to swap them for family days you never get them back. Biking is a lifestyle choice not a hobby, you were likely biking before you met, definitely before you had kids, just try not to loose sight of it and move biking up the priority list.
You've just got to be a bit selfish about it, yes your mrs might complain or be stressed while you're trying to get out the door, but once you've been out on your bike, she'll see you come back happy and it'll be better for the whole family.
Sunday morning 8am meet, back at home for 1pm, sunday morning laps with the other lads/dads, go out get rad and be back for lunchtime. Definitely 3 out of 4 weekends a month. Just trade your riding time for daddydaycare and give your mrs a break to do stuff by herself.
In the summer, head out for evening sessions after work. If you can, commute to work by bike so you're fit for when you do go mountain biking
Good luck with it. Go Biking.
[quote=treehuggergraeme] Biking is a lifestyle choice not a hobby, Maybe for you. For most it's a hobby. For a reasonable number it's utility.
congratulations OP
Im struggling worse than anyone.
my baby arrived in May as well and since then I've done about 3 -4 local rides, an all day Lakes epic and a short blast round coed y brenin. That's it!
I live 15 mins away from Gisburn forest but not been there since the birth.
Im spending my weekends with the lil dude and helping out my missus with him. Im struggling to get out for an hour at the moment but im hoping I'll get into a routine and get riding again.
Its hard - I can no longer be selfish with my time. I've started taking my step son for BMX coaching and when my baby boy is 2 years old then he's getting a balance bike and starting early bird BMX coaching.
at least then I can ride vicariously through my offspring. #scantconsolation
got 2 boys, 6 & 3. eldest isn't that much into bikes - even though he picked it up really quickly. youngest is more enthusiastic, but too young to hit the trails with me.
obviously I'd never choose bikes over time with my children, but its not really about that - just book it in/plan it out - the wife has a diary and she uses it (unlike me). so as long as its put aside, it shouldn't be a problem.
I've diverted my love for riding into the love of building bikes for now. so when i get time, I've got a bike i want ready to go - providing im not in the middle of changing the setup for the [i]n[/i]th time 😉
its not just bike rides that are side lined, its social activities full stop. but the time you put in with your kids now, you cant afford to miss out on when all of a sudden they're out with their mates all the time...... :'(
The older the kids get, the easier it is to find the time to ride (imo). Nevertheless, to balance family time with work and regular riding it does mean being proactive with the diary and creative regards times. Also, looking after your health (food and enough sleep) is important to allow you to fit it all in without making yourself vulnerable to picking up colds and bugs etc.
We have three kids. When you do make time go ride your bike, do it properly and don't feel guilty.
It's such a waste to spend the time doing half a job. A crappy ride takes nearly as much time end-to-end as a decent one.
And FFS get a job you can commute to by bike. It's the only way to stay fit when you have kids.
When I changed jobs I only considered ones within 15 miles.
Or if you can't change jobs then drive half the way. Or take up lunchtime running.
Exercise and outdoor time is really important to mental health as well as physical health.
Good luck. It IS possible to do crazy fun shit and have kids. But the wife needs to be on board too!!
From my experiences;
You won't ride much for the first year.
Running is a good alternative for keeping fit as a stop gap.
Night rides. Everyone in bed then out you go.
Weekends - we would take it in turns to do the early shift with junior however instead of having a lie in I would head out for a ride.
When/if you have a second child, you wonder why it took two adults to look after one baby.
Well, because of this thread I made the effort to take advantage of an unforeseen hour of spare time and get on the rollers this evening. Deathly dull and the only thing I seemed to be able to think about was how much my arse hurt but I do feel better for having done it. Maybe it's the for some sufferfest films to keep me motivated...
Lots of great ideas in this thread - I'll contribute a few, having battled with this very issue since early June when our first little nipper arrived.
Zwift and a turbo - if you find yourself with a slack hour, you can spend 95% of that time exercising, instead of faffing about with lights, clothes, kit - and then washing bikes afterwards. My routine is to finish bath time, get Tarka dressed for bed and hand him over to my wife, who feeds him (still breastfeeding...) - I then dash out to the workshop and have an hour on the turbo while Mrs White feeds and kicks back in the house.
Get ready for a ride in advance - kit all laid out, batteries for things charged, bottles or packs filled with water, bikes checked over and loaded into car if riding away. The moment you get the nod, you can be gone inside five minutes.
As others have said, put things in a shared diary so your other half can see (and mentally prepare) for your announcement that you are popping out for an hour or two.
Lastly, come back from a ride cheerful, enthusiastic and full of beans - even if you don't feel like that. Your wife will soon associate riding with you being chipper and fun afterwards, and will encourage future trips.
Get the missus to start taking little one swimming lessons of a sunday morning. While there gone you go riding!! Or is my missus really easy going compared to most? I love her too bits.
Are you aloud to go away riding for the weekend in snowdonia? I did last weekend.
I was lucky, my job at the time took me away a night or two a week, the bike was rarely not in my boot. My job also took me all over the UK and I spent a lot of time on a job in Scotland too.
I'd always arrange time for riding in the week somewhere, and I could commute one or two days a week.
Wondering why I left them now...
When/if you have a second child, you wonder why it took two adults to look after one baby.
Never a truer word spoken. Funny isn't it? I don't know if it's coincidental but StGeorge 2 is more laid back.
To the OP, just make time, who gives a toss if your lawn isn't pristine (unless you post a pic on here) or your living room looks like an explosion in Toys R Us (or the handcrafted, ethically sourced, wood crafted, educational equivalent).
Eg don't wash the car - just go for a ride, 40 minutes trying to do wheelies in Tesco's car park is amazing stress reliever. Just get out and piss about on a bike....
When/if you have a second child, you wonder why it took two adults to look after one baby
I see your two and raise you a third..!
Such a true statement though.
Well done getting on the rollers alpha 1653 - I moved my bike and turbo into the spare room last week but still haven't used it. My self imposed excuse being that it'll wake up the little chap. Probably not true! The worst thing for me is, as others have said, the self imposed guilt! My wife does actually keep saying I should get up early and do a ride etc but I end up getting up with the little dude and letting her have a lie-in because I feel bad about not doing it since it's the weekend. My fault entirely.
The job is going to have to change. Going to give an ultimatum...have realised family and friends (and cycling) take priority over work. Keep your fingers crossed for me as I'll probably be doing it before Christmas and hope it doesn't backfire horribly!
I see your two and raise you a third..!
don't have 4
it's more or less broken me
infact it's probably not the kids
not everyone gets this
[img] 
[/img]
[img] 
?itok=38v1FnFL[/img]
[img] 
[/img]
its mostly this, on amphets
[img] 
[/img]
[img] 
[/img]
[img] 
[/img]
the very thought of a night ride, or turbo training after 7/8pm at night 😆
the thought of getting up and going for a ride at 5/6am with a kid under a year old 😆
me and the mrs work in mental health/challenging behaviour, but jesus chris, ptarenting is sometimes on another level,
mornings are complete chaos, day times are a mess, tea time is ****ed up and bed times are a test of strength and patience,
**** facebook/twitter/instagram/playground mafia and your shitty friends with their faux posts and "perfect lives" **** it all, having kids is shit and gritty and will test you completely
all the wonderful it gets better posts above, I'm not sure it does, its pretty brutal, seriously brutal
all the wonderful it gets better posts
In the spirit of "it doesn't get easier, you just go faster", "it doesn't get better, it just gets different". I must admit I'm enjoying a rare good spell at the moment. I may even get out for a ride tomorrow!
Well done getting on the rollers alpha 1653 - I moved my bike and turbo into the spare room last week but still haven't used it.
Cheers buddy. But don't feel guilty; I've had the rollers for about 5 years making my average usage of them about...hmmm...once every 6 months! I probably wouldn't have it in the spare room given how noisy they are. I've retreated to the garage where I can sweat to my hearts content and play loud music without disturbing mini alpha or the alpha female which, as any nature lover will tell you, results in an arse kicking.
@dirtyrider: sounds like your house is a war zone!