Mostly I'm a calm person - most challenges in life I'm confident I can deal with. I'm not an angry driver - and I'm ok most of the time when I'm riding.
But just recently I've been getting increasingly tired at the number of times I'm getting shouted at, close passes, beeping horns etc.
I do ride a lot - 2-3 times/week c 100 miles/week and I will ride primary when I think I need to (around parked cars, side turnings, pinch points etc.
I usually deal with the harrassment by just shaking my head or just riding off but a couple of times recently I've just given someone the finger, cos I've had enough. One was a woman who was screaming at me for not getting out of her way down a residential road, another was this morning - tailgating taxi driver - I flicked him the V's then had to stop at a red light and then had him ranting and raving (as in really shouting) for 30+seconds until the lights changed.
How do you 'find your peace' when you're on the receiving end of this kind of treatment?
Sod inner peace! Just punch 'em!! 😀
Just think, for these people to get that bothered about a few seconds extra on their journey...they must live really sorry lives.
Just let them get on with it, knowing that you are a better person. 🙂
Edit: Failing that, +1 for punching them....
Just say,..."Oh excuse me for doing my bit for trying to save the planet"
binners - Member
Sod inner peace! Just punch 'em!!
CCCC
C
C
CCCC
Find my peace? If your standing you should be able to shout louder than someone who's sitting. I let them (and probably the rest of the town) know exactly how I feel!
Yes im generally an easy going friendly fellow..
But when hassled while out ridin' by farmers with nothing better to do than go off their heads because im about to ride a footpath & not a bridleway... Well, i turn into a bit of an unreasonable fellow... I dont want this pointless hastle from an idiot like him!! So i tell him to **** off & get a life & ride off while he still continues to shout about ****all!! The ****!
.... Sorry that was hank...
My favourite line from an office spat might be worth chucking in:
"Don't shout, it makes you look stupid."
if it's something I'm expecting (abuse from taking primary on dodgy sections) I just smile, blow them a kiss and wave, if I was JRA and it's something random and unexpected....dunno, might get irate or might try to calmly explain why I was doing what I was doing.
But when hassled while out ridin' by farmers with nothing better to do than go off their heads because im about to ride a footpath & not a bridleway... Well, i turn into a bit of an unreasonable fellow... I dont want this pointless hastle from an idiot like him!! So i tell him to * off & get a life & ride off while he still continues to shout about ****all!! The *!
It's easier to complain when your in the right 😉
As for the rest just call the police, it's an assault.
i get this question completely and i know how i feel depending on what my reaction is...
if I smile and blow them a kiss, its a good day.
if I give them the finger and shout abuse, then its a bad day.
if I take my D Lock out and pound the silly little s**t into the ground, its a very bad day 😉
Remaining faultlessly calm, polite and reasonable is undoubtedly the best approach.
If you succeed in doing this, please tell me how.
Change your commute
Buy a helmet cam. When people realise what they're saying is being recorded for posterity, they tend to think before they speak.
Try not to rise to it. It's not easy, but it's the other individual's argument, let them carry it around with them and don't continue it in your own head. I don't agree that flicking Vs and exchanging profanities is the way to go. By all means be assertive, but giving aggression in return to aggression is only going to agitate you and make the other individual angrier.
I've had a taxi driver stop me and try to tell me that his taxi lane was reserved just for taxis and wasn't for bikes. I showed him a map that said differently, but he maintained that my "map was wrong". At the end of the day, he made himself look a dick in front of a line of his peers and missed a fare. I've also been stopped on bridleways and challenged with the "this isn't a cycle path!" routine, even though I've been six feet away from a sign that says otherwise. You can't reason with such arrogance and the best way to deal with it is to dismiss it outright and ignore it. If you fail to validate these idiots, they tend to go away and find someone else to argue with.
I believe the correct response is "Button it fatty".
I usually do a left to right motion with my partially clenched fist on the left hand side of my face whilst pushing my tongue into my right cheek at the same time the left fist approached the left hand side of my face!
they love it! 🙂
I find that an intense silent stare can make the recipient a) very uncomfortable and b) a bit stuck for what to do next.
So I suppose this might work in the situations you describe? 🙂
I just ignore it all, knowing that I AM ALWAYS RIGHT!!! 😈
this is how I usually react
Go gran torino on his ass....
Pull your imaginary gun 😉
But when hassled while out ridin' by farmers with nothing better to do than go off their heads because im about to ride a footpath & not a bridleway...
I reckon you should ride up alongside his tractor window whilst wearing a go-pro and tell him off for dropping mud on the road 😀
Change your commute.
Avoiding confrontation and future danger is BETTER than going toe to toe with someone or being rear-ended from behind one day if you DID win a toe-to-toe brawl.
The hardest man is he who keeps his fitness and life. Only fight if you are attacked- because fights in adult life are usually very nasty things. Not like the school playground where Mister Teacher runs across and breaks it up.
The foolish man is the one that picks fights, fights and eventually dies of a heart attack.
I flicked him the V's then had to stop at a red light and then had him ranting and raving (as in really shouting) for 30+seconds until the lights changed.
Why did you flick V's at him, surely that just makes situations worse?
Maybe your riding style isnt the best and thats why you are attracting so much negative reaction from drivers?
Does anyone know of a water pistol that looks just enough like a real gun to give someone a fright without looking so much like a real gun it would be illegal? I'm just trying to imagine the look on someones face when you pulled it out and pointed it at them.....................and then pulled the trigger 🙂
BTW don't swear either. A cyclist did this to me (I was driving) and I asked him repeatdly to repeat what he said and why.
(I was indicating left approaching a left turn at lights)- watching the idiot shoot up the inside from a distance so beeped him to remind him I was turning. In turn he swore loudly calling me allsorts and waving his hand).
Funnily he didn't repeat it when I asked him if he liked filterting into cars about to turn left.
Why did you flick V's at him, surely that just makes situations worse?Maybe your riding style isnt the best and thats why you are attracting so much negative reaction from drivers?
Oh hello Mr Troll.
No I agree with FunkyDunc.
Gawd. I think I agree with hora 😳
blowing a kiss works well, as does completely ignoring said person while they rant and rave like an idiot.
Removing the wind mirror from said agressors car with SPD shoes normally does the trick.
But im a bad tempered fella 😉
Find my peace? If your standing you should be able to shout louder than someone who's sitting. I let them (and probably the rest of the town) know exactly how I feel!
+1, sod the finger, a really loud "OOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIII FU************** OFF" gets their and everyone within a half mile's attention. I last did this whilst being cut up (theres alsorts of trafic calming furniture so she was trying to overtake me in a gap that really didnt exist) by a school run mum outside a primary school at kicing out time.
This is a forum for riding off road, Stick to off road and the rage subsides. I saw 3 deer and numerous squirrels on my commute, none of them shouted at me. Thinking about it I didn't see any rabbits today maybe they were having a lie in as it was minus 3.
Benny Hill was an angry cyclist?
for me when riding I seem to garner more abuse and assaults from pedestrians. In the last 6 months I had a drunken youth jump on my saddle when stopped at lights and demand a backie to the red lion (lol) and another youth attempting to spit on me while riding under a bridge on the canal. The one time I did have a driver have a go was when I did turn round in answer to his horn bleating and stick my tongue out at him and then wiggled my ass at him while standing on t' pedals. This enraged him further and he pulled over ahead of me and started to get out of his white van to have a word with me but I instead cycled straight past him and then he passed me very close.
I just wave now. Anything else just gets me wound up as well as them which ruins my day. If I just wave and smile I know there is nothing they are stuck being angry and I'm not.
As I said on the "how have you changed" thread, I no longer see any merit in getting involved even when the motorist is a dick. Better to ride on....
Wave and smile is the Correct approach.....
Drag from van and "Batter senseless with righteous indignation" at the time felt very deserved.... but I was wound up about it for quite some time afterwards and I was very lucky nothing else came of it
(he had deliberately blocked a Toucan crossing and I banged on his back door as I went round him, he then in a fit of rage came after me in the van and cornered me with it, hurling abuse and serious threats.
So when he came out with the "Next time I am going to F***ing kill you" line, I "invited" him out of the window for some education on why you shouldn't threaten people)
I was annoyed with myself for having gotten drawn into what could have turned out quite nasty, If I have cause to get angry at all on the commute now, I have done something wrong.
A couple of mine recently (when I've managed to catch up with them or had the opportunity to discuss matters). delivered in a head-masterly voice:
"Do stop being so petty"
"Do you feel better after that little tantrum?"
and
"Are you proud of yourself for being a bully?"
I like the "Don't shout, it makes you look idiotic" one. It's going in the bank that one.
"Don't shout, it makes you look idiotic"
Also just saying "pardon I didn't quite catch that". I had a guy give the same rant about 4 times before he realised I was just taking the piss.
[img] https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRQsWgjbAFW8rj2Dkh9cu1ga0Z0HlcdfRRNvlJQNkM0ikHtz7dx5w [/img]
cr500dom why would you do that? What if he/someone witnessing sided with him and you faced a batter charge?
What if he'd have fallen and banged his head or suffered a heart attack.
On the way upto Craggs in Hebden Bridge a bloke in a 4x4 drove at me to make me get off the road. I waved my hand, he slammed on and reversed back up. Jumped out and started wildly waving his hands. I took off my helmet and gloves then he started shouting he didn't have time for this. At this point I realised he was a 6ft3 old alcoholic local character in his 50's literally on the edge of a heart attack. Thats when I calmed him down.
If he'd had keeled over and died- or we'd exchanged blows then he collapsed and died how would that have looked? I'd have been ****ed.
My motto is NEVER fight. Only restrain/sit on them or back out.
I've always wanted to just wee on their shoes through the open car windw while they scream. Mostly I'm held back by bib tights.
For pure shock and awe I'd also like to climb on to the roof of the offending vehicle and take a shoe off, then start pounding on the windscreen with it, cleat first.
I nearly locked my bike to a cars door handle last week when they had parked "in" the cycle rack, but i resisted, mostly becuase I'm a coward.
Hora, I never said I was proud of it, quite the opposite.
And it did bother me for quite sometime afterwards.
It was a few years ago now.
My approach now is to ride defensively and avoid confrontation at all cost, Life is just too short to get embroiled in someone elses issues
I once whilst stationary in a parking area had a van make contact with me, the guy drove into the massive space then reversed at high speed far enough to hit my rear wheel. Clearly mid row with his girlfriend he was dropping at the hairdressers. I initially shouted mostly from surprise but also in the hope he'd stop moving, he came out of the van fuming, I wished him a nice day and cycled off - he shouted back "What did you say", so I repeated it politely - I don't think he knew what the **** to do - he just stood there looking bemused. It was excellent 🙂
Most of the time these days though I try and stay off the roads as weirdly people seem to want to kill me!
I'm far too emotional and unpleasant to deal with any kind of confrontation..
I try my best to just suck it up and get to my destination..
" What are you doing?
Are you a big man? Huh? I'm talkin' to you!
Do you wake up in the mornin' and say, "I'm puttin on my big boy pants. Look, I'm wearin' a belt. I got big boy pants on."
We don't do that shit!
Is this how you conduct yourself... in a democracy? "
I just don't rise to it. Have had a few run ins with drivers. If I'm in the wrong, I'll apologise. I'm too easy going to get angry at it. Same on the football pitch. Have been kicked up and down the pitch all day by the same player and the fact that I don't react winds them up even more 😀
I try, mightily, not to react. I have enough stress in my wider life to worsen it while riding. I try to be super nice to motorists who give me space and indicate rather than react to those who don't.
I do struggle however, being beeped then sworn at by a woman in a 4x4 near winchester for taking primary position at a junction last month was the closest I've come to losing it recently - the scant seconds she could save being far more important than both of us crossing the junction legally and safely, she booted it past me the minute we cleared the traffic islands.
I try not to react as well.
But its really, really hard not to react aggressively to someone endangering you out of stupidity or impatience.
If I'm calm I tend to just hold my arms out in a gesture of disbelief.
In less calm moments "What the f..k are you doing!!" tends to get shouted a lot. If someone desperately wants an argument then a foolproof approach is if its a guy slag off his choice of car. If its a woman just call them fat!
I really do try to adopt a Zen approach but sadly its not always the case
Unwarranted beeping, morons shouting etc I couldn't care less about.
People who endanger me I do care about. Usually a hand in the air in an attempt to indicate 'FFS!' is my initial reaction (more so for any following cars) but if I later catch up with the vehicle (not having chased or anything, that's pointless) I'll usually approach the driver and simply say - as calmly as possible - "please don't drive so close to me, its really dangerous".
People expect you to rant and rave, but I find being calm, polite and unthreatening if you can is usually the only effective approach and will more often than not elicit an apology.
Of course there are cretins out there who'd only understand if you set them on fire but there's generally nothing you can do about them.
Just say,..."Oh excuse me for doing my bit for trying to save the planet"
But then he would have to punch himself in the face? Which would be somewhat counterproductive.
"Wave and smile boys, wave and smile"
If they are really getting into a full-on rant and you can't ride away (waving and smiling) then a religious conversion usually does the trick. Look up to the sky and loudly proclaim "Lord have mercy on this man, forgive him for his foul mouthed obscenities and bring peace into his world - then look him in the eye and say "Friend, let us pray together for your salvation". This is normally so embarrassing that the driver retreats - apparently works well on would-be muggers, but thankfully never had the opportunity to try it on them.
I try not to react as well.But its really, really hard not to react aggressively to someone endangering you out of stupidity or impatience.
If I'm calm I tend to just hold my arms out in a gesture of disbelief.
In less calm moments "What the f..k are you doing!!" tends to get shouted a lot. If someone desperately wants an argument then a foolproof approach is if its a guy slag off his choice of car. If its a woman just call them fat!
I really do try to adopt a Zen approach but sadly its not always the case
THIS
I tend to ignore it but sometimes it was just so dangerous it is hard to not react to some inconsiderate fool who has just put your life in danger to save themselves a few seconds.
I dont bother talking as folk who drive like that dont do reason very well IME.
I once had a trucker - when i had right of way shoot into a traffic calming measure and then slam on. He got out and shouted at me despite the give way sign on his side and big arrow showing he had to stop for me.
He then threatened to kill me. I suggested , given he was rather portly, that he just chase me round his truck till he had a heart attack. This was not well received but made me laugh.
Only once in an exchange has anyone ever apologised and most times they threaten to hit you next time so its pointless actually bothering with a chat.
Hora were you making it all up when you talked about raging at folk on tubes and the such like or are you making it upon this thread - just out if interest?
I'm normally a very relaxed laid back person but my swearing is ear piercingly loud and and hand gestures are explicit if a driver has a go at me physically or verbally. If its just a case of bad driving and they dont stop I just shrug my shuolders and carry on my way happily, its only when they drive badly endangering me AND have a go at me that red mist descends.
Nobody has ever got out their car when I ask them to using the medium of swearing and shouting................and I'm glad they havent!! Always tell myself afterwards that I must stop doing it because one day I'll wind someone up the wrong way and will be easy target for a car.
ps........and they all get called knobs at a very high volume.
last time I lay on the ground with my bike on top of me - very quickly the guy drove off
The best advice by far is to just ignore anything that isn't immediately putting your life in danger (i.e. wisecracks and verbal threats).
The main problem with people's attitudes in this country at present is that too many people think that they are the center of the universe, ergo that they have the right to tell every man, woman, child and animal how they think they should behave.
As others have said, the angry taxi drivers / white van men / bus drivers and fat bit*hes with 4 screaming kids in the car on the school run will all have massive issues going on in their lives that make them that way, and will all die of a heart attack long before any of us fit, healthy cycling types.
So while it may be tempting to try and get 'one up' on the next person who utters obscenities in your direction after cutting you up at traffic lights, just let it go and move on.
I wave. If they've sounded their horn at my exemplary cycling, then they must know me. So I wave.
Just remember the people you're picking a fight with may be total loons and wouldn't have an issue with stabbing you.
Take a deep breath and move along. It'll make you a better person.
[i]I do ride a lot - 2-3 times/week c 100 miles/week[/i]
That's not really a lot.
Being a "bit unit" I find the stop and just stare as mentioned..preferably directly into their eyes in silence, works a treat for me
I have had ltercations in the past with people but my mrs says the above too and that they could have all manner of tools to mess you up.
A remember a couple of years ago a bloke in a van got out at some lights and actually start repeatedly stamping at someones car door and window for pulling into a lane in front of him, even though they indicated and their was room to do it...Total mentalist.
Mostly I'm a calm person - most challenges in life I'm confident I can deal with. I'm not an angry driver - and I'm ok most of the time when I'm riding.
thats me.
But just recently I've been getting increasingly tired at the number of times I'm getting shouted at, close passes, beeping horns etc.I do ride a lot - 2-3 times/week c 100 miles/week and I will ride primary when I think I need to (around parked cars, side turnings, pinch points etc.
How do you 'find your peace' when you're on the receiving end of this kind of treatment
Get out the camera and start taking pictures of the driver, vehicle and location, did this last year to a fat taxi driver who overtook and immediately turned left, and stopped at traffic lights,out came the camera, he sees me and asks why im taking pictures, i say to download to www.fatignoranttaxidrivers.com. as the cogs in his brain started clunking the lights changed and where followed by numerous horns as he obviously chanted www.fat ignorant taxi drivers.com to himself.
Another good ruse that works, get a notebook out and write the reg number down, while shouting at the errant driver are you the owner of this vehicle, sir/madam.
Damn. Was hoping that was a real website. 😕
slide your bars down his/her car then ride off - oops!
I've been known to do camp Larry Grayson limp wrist wave.
when the guy got out ans started shouting and abusing me after hitting me it took all my effort to remain calm. But he has limping like a he was after a sick note and touching him would probably have resulted in him concocting many versions of the events. I let him push me to the kerb very passively and explained that I did not agree with his rant and that I was going to the police. Finally he swung at me if it wasn't so lame I would have sat him on the pavement and called the cops then. In the end he tried to make some stuff up with the police, confessed to hitting me twice (once more than I gave him credit for) and accusing me of hitting him. End of the day police called him a liar he argued with them convincing them to peruse it and he was convicted of the driving offence and assault. Fined about £1k. Looking back I'm glad I stayed calm.
Drop trou and shit on their bonnet!
i like to point at the passenger side rear door and say 'look you just hit me, there is a massive scrape from where you connected with my pedal' the time it takes them to get out and walk round the car to look (they always do) gives you plenty of time to pedal far far away
My motto is NEVER fight. Only restrain/[b]sit[/b] on them or back out.
How does that work? I can't imagine anyone would be happy to be sat on 😀
I used to get lots of abuse when riding the bmx, not so much the now on the mtb. Only once did i react badly, but that was a special occasion.
Me and a couple of mates were messing about in the local park on the bmx's when a few lads started the verbal abuse. Our normal reaction is to pretend to be highly religious and do a bit of preaching but on this occasion it didn't work. They began hurling stones (maybe in a biblical stylee 😀 ) which drove brave, brave sir Michael to bravely cycle away. My other friend (who i'm very protective of) and myself slowly followed but when a brick hit his back wheel i [i]lost it[/i]. I cycled round to confront the three [i]tough[/i] guys. One was hiding something behind his back (turned out it was a knife) so he got clubbed first, swiftly followed by the other two. I did feel bad after, but these idiots deserved it and maybe they'll think twice next time.
We cycled past the cop shop on the way home to report 3 drunken men threatening passers by with a knife.
My colleague has a funny solution, tap gently on their window, then pour the contents of your bottle all over their face and crotch. highly amusing and no one gets hurt, in the confusion make a swift exit.
If you can do it, swipe their keys and throw them as far as you can. Then cycle away. If they get out of the car, put your bike up on it's back wheel and keep the dirty side pointed towards them.
Thread is angry.
😳I can't imagine anyone would be happy to be sat on
So who wants a fight?
Just rip off/change an infamous quote.
"Please stop shouting. Your giving me an erection."
Rah rah rah raaah...
Anything else?
Rah rah rahbraaaah
Anything else?
Rah rah rah
Anything else?
Er... no.
I try not to react, nothing is more insulting than being ignored. Unless actual contact has been made its not worth descending into a confrontation it only serves to make your own day worse. Most of the times I've stopped to 'have a go' I've ended up regretting it so I don't bother anymore.
Curiously on the 3 times I have been knocked clean off the bike its been dealt with in a calm, dignified way with the driver generally very sorry.
If you can do it, swipe their keys and throw them as far as you can. Then cycle away.
I can confirm from personal experience that the Police take a dim view of this and will threaten you with charges. Unfortunately it appears that whilst almost anything you do in a car is a civil offence as soon as anyone other than the owner so much as touches someones car it's theft or criminal damage.
tap gently on their window, then pour the contents of your bottle all over their face and crotch. highly amusing and no one gets hurt,
I'm pretty certain the Police would concoct an assault charge out of that. If you want to do it properly you do it with milk. Will go off and supposedly just about impossible to ever remove it properly.
The laws are stacked against you. The Zen way is the right one.
That's what I keep telling myself. Doesn't always work.
