[Closed] cynic-al's "oh no, we've run out of ideas, what can we sell now" award thread

A certain Someone in the trade will be along in a moment to tell you he has sold nothing but 650b ht7 sprockets and they really make the potholes come alive.

Murdered out

Well, those Fizik 29er specific saddles have ensured I will never, ever buy anything from that company.
A strong runner up.

But I think we know the winner, don't we?
How can it be anything else but the most pointless and cynical piece of marketing since James McCormick's bomb detector.

new bikes

really, who needs them. fix your old ones

Anything surpasses the sagometer?

I've been away.

Are the public still horrifying you with their wares Al?

Nonsense.

cynic-al's "oh no, we've run out of ideas, what can we sell now" award thread

Thought this was going to be about the con dem party, and their sell off all state buisnesses.

[b]Disapointed.[/b]

Centre lock maybe.

29er/650b specific hubs or 29er/650b specific disc rotors - Pointless but some morons will buy them.

Well, those Fizik 29er specific saddles have ensured I will never, ever buy anything from that company

+1

Project, change the effing record, would you?

C'mon Flashy, we're all in it together, no? 😉

And frankly a bit rich, considering your history of anti Labour diatribes.
I seem to remember you averaged about one per page at one time.

😀

Then I realised I was boring myself, never mind what I was doing to others, so I stopped.

Not seen these chainrings yet- link please!

BTW, I've just Googled '650bollocks', as you do, to find that someone has already registered it as a username on here.

I am so, so impressed.

Googled '650bollocks

I'm not doing that.

ska-49

[img] [/img]

Someone on here, who for the time being shall remain nameless, thought they were a real benefot. But then he did NEED a 54/11 or similar for his training ride.

Project, change the effing record, would you?

To be fair I was expecting the same as project!

cynic-al - that definitely isn't an April fool? I can only assume it's Shimano's lame attempt to do something similar to this without infringing Campag patents:

[img] [/img]

That does at least have a small engineering benefit, so Campag designers can possibly be spared execution for also introducing a new chainring standard for the compact version (the BCD for the hole behind the arm is slightly larger than the others, presumably for clearance reasons).

aracer, here's bikeradar's guff on Dura Ace (I am presuimng the Ultegra above incorporates the same "advances")

Hollow forging technology extends to chainrings
The outgoing Dura-Ace 7800 crankset was already competitive in weight and the industry benchmark for rigidity but Shimano says the new 7900 version is both 50g lighter and a significant 20% stiffer. Total claimed weight is now just 690g including bottom bracket (which is, of course, said to be better sealed and smoother running), putting it within a stone’s throw of, or even lighter than, most high-end carbon offerings.

While most of those gains are likely due to the new arm design, [u]a new “100% hollow” outer chainring will also make its own contribution to the ‘lighter and stiffer’ theme. We’re not sure that most recreational riders will be able to feel the difference in chainring rigidity underfoot but particularly strong pro riders [b]who have been known to fold outer rings in the past just by pedaling will assuredly be happy with the improvement.[/u][/b]

I am incandescent 😡

You know, the "Oh shit, we are really scraping the barrel this product year, will they really buy this crap? Oh hang on, they have been for years, of course it will all be OK!" kind of product.

How many recorded instances do you think there are of pro riders folding outer rings just by pedalling? Of course the same stiffness advantage of a hollow chainring can also be had by having less unsupported length...

In the Year of 650b, everything else that will be posted in this thread won't even register tbh.

Aracer, I must be thick, what is the similarly / IP you are referring to?

Chainrings were fine with BCD of 144 or 151 and thus well supported , for racing they didnt need to change

Total claimed weight is now just 690g including bottom bracket

I'm surprised they're making such a big deal. My FSA K-Force cranks are 620g including rings and BB.

As for the folding of the rings, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that is bullshit (excluding crash damage and manufacturing defects).

atlaz you are out on no limb, it's utter crap!

More lazy and feeble journalism. It should get a raspberry award.

usb cigarette lighter

I spent 3 days at Eurobike and came away with the same conclusion.

FYI the whole wheel size thing... Total and utter mess.

650bollocks - best username ever 😀

A transfer jacket???? http://www.rapha.cc/transfer-jacket/

Well what they mean is it's a normal, non cycling jacket from Rapha so you can be seen to be a cyclist even when you're not in proper kit. Which isn't too bad I suppose as I have to admit to owning a Campagnolo jacket which is supposedly for cycling but makes you sweat like you're wearing a portable sauna so is off-bike only.

CFH Remember there is none so tedious as the reformed sinner. 🙂

That transfer jacket is one of the best and most worn pieces of clothing I have owned in a very very long time. It's only a version of a puffa jacket, T'is all, but nicer. 😉

Warm, lightweight jacket using PrimaLoft® ONE insulation for comfort pre and post-ride, travelling and [b]sitting outside cafés.[/b]

I do have a couple of Rapha base layers, which are very nice, but they do often appear to have completely lost the plot.

Liteville should get a Eurobike wheelbollocks award for suggesting 24" rear wheels on small size trail bikes. With a 26" front. To fit in with a scaled, odd-wheel range. 24/26, then 26/650, 650/29 etc. Insane.

After reading this thread, I am 20% stiffer.

....and hollow 🙁

oooh goody another lightweight super stiff everlasting chainring standard.

One-Oh-Four-Bee-Cee-Dee anything else is frippery.

"Murdered out" - as used on Marzocchi forks for YEARS.

Is it because MTBers are getting older that there's this obsession with stiffness?

Chainrings flex? WHO will benefits from these? Are hobby mountainbikers THAT powerful?

Really appeals to a white/anglosaxon's males insecurity.

I know I've said it before but 29'ers tend to be ridden by middle-aged males, 'looking for something' (in their lives).

One-Oh-Four-Bee-Cee-Dee anything else is frippery.

Are hobby mountainbikers THAT powerful?

Er, isn't is a road chainset?

Still bollocks, mind.

Nevermind the chainring bollocks

WTF is a 29er specific saddle?

WTF is a 29er specific saddle?

The future.

WTF is a 29er specific saddle?

Also bollocks?

Jameso have you got a link to the Liteville different size wheel bikes please not on their website.

can i nominate 10speed?* - 8 and 9 were getting a bit over the top.

(and obviously 11speed)

also, 15mm axles.

i've been saying this for years: bikes, as an engineering problem, have been solved.

Was there not a wee trend a few years back for 24/26" wheels? Seem to recall Spesh did it with the bighit?

Was there not a wee trend a few years back for 24/26" wheels? Seem to recall Spesh did it with the bighit?

Cannondale did it years before that.

My current FS bike bike is a 26" frame with 29er front and 650 rear 😉

quite liked the old bighit I had briefly, as long as there were no large holes around 😆

Aracer, I must be thick, what is the similarly / IP you are referring to?

The Campag chainset I pictured or are you referring to something else I mentioned?

I'm surprised they're making such a big deal. My FSA K-Force cranks are 620g including rings and BB.

Is that real or quoted weight? Shimano (and Campag) do at least normally provide accurate claimed weights - FSA are notorious for being "optimistic". Good point mind you, the Campag Record pictured above is 670g all in, a SR titanium one 630g, so they're crowing about all this high tech allowing them to get close to the competition!

More lazy and feeble journalism.

Is it not just BR cutting and pasting Shimano marketing guff (though that of course is the very definition of lazy journalism)? I suppose I would actually expect better of Shimano marketing department though. The real sign that it's BS though is the mention of the strength of pro riders, when it's actually overweight biffers who put more force through their drivetrain.

29'ers tend to be ridden by middle-aged males, 'looking for something' (in their lives).

I know a few juniors (who'd thrash almost anybody on here on a mountain bike, up or down) who ride them - should I tell them they've got it all wrong?

This came up last time I said it- the majority of 29'er riders ARE middle aged.

aracer - they'd thrash us on 24" probably too. Before the cumulative effect of alcohol, bacon and the onset of fear all of us were faster.

I take it you own a 29'er and are middle-aged hence the rise? 😉

Before the cumulative effect of alcohol, bacon and the onset of fear all of us were faster.

OK maybe I should have said they'd have thrashed most people on here on a mountain bike (up or down) when we were at our peaks. Oh and I almost forgot I also "know" (well she has coached mini-aracer on a bike and I've ridden with her a few times) somebody who beats the best in the world on the downs on a 29er.

I take it you own a 29'er and are middle-aged hence the rise?

Well yes, but given it's a unicycle (which teenagers appear to think is cool) that probably discounts both parts.

29'ers tend to be ridden by middle-aged males, 'looking for something' (in their lives).

That saddle is a solution to a problem that doe snot exist

What about serial swappers of frames that are too small?

Some folk like 29 ers what is the point calling them names?

Says more about you than them IMHO

aracer

The '29'er can do it in this' argument gets my back up. I don't like seeing a manu/mag/paid rider extolling the virtues of [i]spending money[/i].

Anything "enduro specific".

can i nominate 10speed?* - 8 and 9 were getting a bit over the top.

(and obviously 11speed)

I've seen the Shimano 14-speed patents.

It's the classic maturing market problem. When no-one had MTBs, the job was to convince people that MTBs were cool and hip and happening. Now most people who want MTBs have them, the job is to convince them that the MTBs they have are rubbish and they need a new one.

On a basic level -I saw an ad on STW 'new knuckle-box system with weapons-grade aluminium'.

Jesus wept its a single pivot alu frame.

My point is when you have realised talent you can beat an average Joe on basically anything within reason.

Yes, but my point is that as extremely good riders racing at the sharp end they [b]choose[/b] to ride 29ers.

I'll join in with the rest of you at being rude about [s]marketing men's wet dream[/s] 27" bikes, but despite not owning a bike with 29" wheels myself you're all wrong about those not having any useful purpose.

The 29er specific saddle is an absolute joke.

The prolonged hot weather we are having has gotten to people's heads; Where is Radio Raheem busting out 'Fight The Power' when you need him?

Yes, but my point is that as extremely good riders racing at the sharp end they choose to ride 29ers.

except at the WCDH 😆

So - that Rapha jacket...

Warm and lightweight [b]down[/b] jacket for cyclists

Warm, lightweight jacket [b]using PrimaLoft® ONE[/b] insulation

at the sharp end they choose to ride 29ers.

Yes it'd impact on their performance if they rode the wrong bike but I wonder in history how many pro riders were PAID to ride bikes they really didn't like?

Is that real or quoted weight? Shimano (and Campag) do at least normally provide accurate claimed weights - FSA are notorious for being "optimistic".

That's weighed on my (probably not totally accurate but not THAT inaccurate) kitchen scales. I went a bit special when I was building my Chinese carbon bike and weighed everything until I got to the cables and outers and bar tape then I gave up.

loco, just a picture I took at Eurobike sorry, filed in the Eurobollocks section )

(not saying the bikes won't ride ok and liteville / syntace generally get a big thumbs-up for good kit)

Again at risk of making a sweeping generalisation, are you talking for all pro riders here? Pro riders are paid.

Er, did you miss the bit in my original comment about these riders where I referred to them as juniors?

I know I've said it before but 29'ers tend to be ridden by middle-aged males, 'looking for something' (in their lives).

'projectionism'?

I was gonna nominate Liteville for their odd-wheel-size bikes.

Why carry one spare inner tube on a ride when you can carry two?

Apparently there's a new trend (or marketing push) in the US for "gravel road" bikes. I suppose "fire road mincers" doesnt sound so intrepid...
[url= http://www.bikeradar.com/mtb/gear/article/trail-tech-defining-the-gravel-race-bike-37582/ ]
http://www.bikeradar.com/mtb/gear/article/trail-tech-defining-the-gravel-race-bike-37582/ [/url]

loco, just a picture I took at Eurobike sorry, filed in the Eurobollocks section )

(not saying the bikes won't ride ok and liteville / syntace generally get a big thumbs-up for good kit)

Madelk (liteville distributors in ireland) have some stuff on their facebook page about it and piccies too.

i've been saying this for years: bikes, as an engineering problem, have been solved.

+1
apart from 2 glaring omissions.....
Gearboxes
long travel single crown inverted forks (although X-fusion have a nice looking prototype)

after this bike companies - your work is done.
So no more hollow, 29in saddles please as I have enough already.

mudsoul - Member

Anything "enduro specific".

That does nark me... Half the reason enduro is so popular is that it's just the sort of riding lots of people want to do, on the bikes we already own. "Rnduro specific" is just a prick's way of saying "Normal stuff for normal riding"

Companies trying to improve products to increase profits shocker...struggling to understand why this is so difficult for everyone to comprehend, regardless of wheel size or any other innovation (even a .000001% increase is an improvement)...no one is forcing you to buy it

Also...unlikely a marketing bod is going to say 'Well it does make a difference but not a lot'

Wake up a smell the roses chaps...if someone wants to but it all then let them crack on it is their money

.no one is forcing you to buy it

Can I have an orange 5 26 er please?

I must admit to having a little chuckle at this thread; if anyone wanted to know what to sell to middle aged men, this site would be an ideal starting point. From kitchen knives, coffee makers, coffee, beer, shoes, wellies, and on into the minutiae of bicycle design, it's a bloody gold mine.

To then sit and read folk criticising the latest attempts to sell you stuff is ironic in the extreme.

Basically, this is a monster we/you've created; it's not aimed at people buying cheap bikes from Halfords or a supermarket, it's all for you. 🙂

Can I have an orange 5 26 er please?

Yep, Drakes Cycles in Leeds have a few in, they're even discounted. 😉

http://www.drakescycles.co.uk/m1b114s1p3511/ORANGE_Five_Pro_Kashima_-_Neon_Orange_%282013%29

35mm Bars 🙄

http://www.bikeradar.com/mtb/gear/article/trail-tech-a-new-handlebar-standard-in-the-making-38311/

Apparently there's a new trend (or marketing push) in the US for "gravel road" bikes. I suppose "fire road mincers" doesnt sound so intrepid...

Basically it's a cross bike. Or a road bike with bigger tyres.

The result - according to a growing number of companies - is that it is once again time to increase the clamp diameter to bolster the interface between the stem and our rangy handlebars

Something is making me think the industry is just looking for new and increasingly desperate ways to part us with our cash. I'm cynical by nature though

there's a new trend (or marketing push) in the US for "gravel road" bikes

isn't there a race series in the US for gravel road bikes?
is the UK equivalent 'bridleway bikes' or 'fire road bikes'?
I thought that's what 29ers were for?

the industry is just looking for new and increasingly desperate ways to part us with our cash. I'm cynical by nature though

that's not cynicism, that's stone cold fact.

Basically it's a cross bike. Or a road bike with bigger tyres.

No, they couldn't possibly work. People need to buy another new bike instead.

35mm Bars

Yes, I thought Easton had quietly dropped this daftness but then in the Eurobike pics there's loads of them.

🙄