Congratulations on becoming King (or Queen, delete as applicable) of the world. You are loved all by the peoples of the world, songs will be sung, symphonies will be composed, concubines will whisper in corridors about the girth (or sweetness, delete as applicable) of your bits.

It is your duty to shower the world with your munificence, however you have but one command to make that will have to spread the most joy and happiness, your task is to make that decree

What one thing will you do to make the world a better place?

Nuke Switzerland?

Develop a huge, global organisation of special ops-type people to take out terrorists before the rest of the world even knew they existed.

I would deploy them in every vulnerable country, and so do my utmost to make sure that every man, woman, and child on the planet – regardless of creed, colour, sex, or sexuality – had the greatest possible chance to grow up without fear of being blown apart or maimed simply because s/he happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And I would have a cozy little flat for myself in Montreal, Cardiff, Berlin, and Kyiv. 😀

Develop a system which inserts all litter into a randomly chosen orifice of the person who dropped it.

Ban blue christmas lights.

Do away with religion.

Print a gigantic sum of money and give £10,000 to everyone on the planet.

Actually no – citizen’s salary for everyone. Criminal punishment would include taking it away depending on the crime.

Based on my experience to date, I’ve no doubt the queen would have plenty to say on the matter and make her wishes quite clear.

Decimilise time

10 months in a year, 10 weeks in a month, 10 days in a week, 10 hours in a day, 100 minutes in an hour, 100 seconds in a minute

Abdicate.

Reintroduce the death penalty.

Execute David Cameron and Piers Morgan for crimes against humanity.

Abolish the death penalty.

Now, about those concubines…

I would decree that 5% of all corporate profits would be spent on the research and development of clean and sustainable energy sources.

Decimilise time

10 months in a year, 10 weeks in a month, 10 days in a week, 10 hours in a day, 100 minutes in an hour, 100 seconds in a minute

Sorry old bean, but you appear to have decimalised dates but centimalised time.

secular/non-denomination schools & universities available to everyone by hook or by crook. For remote villages the world over. Tied with universal comms/internet access by which knowledge can be distributed in the absence of sufficiently skilled teachers.

Sorry old bean, but you appear to have decimalised dates but centimalised time.

Im king, what I say goes, OK!

Caravaners and mine artists in the Scorpion Pit. It may not be as worthy as some of your suggestions, but by god I’d be popular. I’m not sure about the porcupines tho.

Decimilise time
10 months in a year, 10 weeks in a month, 10 days in a week, 10 hours in a day, 100 minutes in an hour, 100 seconds in a minute

I was going to dismiss this as crazy talk as you’d end up with crazily short minutes – but actually one of your metric minutes would be about half an old fashioned imperial minute so not too bad. Seconds (or centiminutes would be a bit brief). Actually ‘minutes’ and ‘seconds’ are imperial divisions rather than units so can really decimalised – It would be a centiday and micro day.

What would maybe be a bit less practical is date and time would have very little relevance to the seasons or whether its day or night. So ‘day’ is moot point too

But I don’t entirely fancy being beheaded so I’ll keep that to myself.

always have that extra drink – whats the worst that could happen??

*ignores all 10am tram of shame moments in life to date so far*

I would redeploy the RAF, calling them back from Syria in order to overfly the highways and byways of the UK with orders to destroy any vehicle;

A – Unnecessarily driving in the middle/outer lane/lanes of any dual carriageway or motorway, and
B – In which the vehicle pilot is on/listening to/looking at a mobile phone.

Abolish countries.

We are one species, we should behave like it.

Put Cameron and his cronies in lower cost care homes for the elderly, for six months, under deprivation of liberties, and let them see what life’s like.

Nuke Switzerland

Seems harsh, the people of Switzerland love you and want to be happy

Real world king- Introduce organ donorship as a criminal punishment.

Fantasy world king – have a one way negative correlation between anti social behaviour and the ability to breed (increased anti social = reduced ability to breed).

Super fantasy world king – I is cool with skillz.

the people of Switzerland love you and want to be happy

well if they were a republic this wouldn’t be a problem, if they want monarchy the get monarchs. They’ve only themselves to blame.

Create the Karma Police, an elite force whose job it is to revisit all the harm you do to others upon you. Quite a big job, we’re going to need a whole division just constantly kicking Iain Duncan Smith in the balls and throwing Theresa May in the sea.

Do away with people who don’t understand the concept of one.

1. Make Kelly Brook Queen.
2. Let Northwind & Maccruiskeen sort everything else out.

All those actors who play superheroes on the screen should be forced into there costumes and dropped on ISIS

Licking bikes cars etc will be a new form of leaving a deposit on items and houses

Butt crack showers will have there trousers stappled onto them

Halfords shall be burnt

Anyone responsible for the production of Marmite shall be flooged within an inch of Salford

That’ll teach em

I’d shower the earth in moon rock and hot hail and if the hand of stabiliser was recognised I would destroy it, utterly.

Halve the world’s population (humanely) and freeze it.

Decree a bank holiday and free booze, then **** off before the hang over ends

Print a gigantic sum of money and give £10,000 to everyone on the planet.

Didn’t they do that ? QE ? Except it got stuck in the banks…

I’d get rid of chalky muddy trails from the south of England.

I would ban anyone who would accept the op’s offer from accepting the op’s offer

I’d tell Mrs Archibald, round the corner from me, to shut her Yorkshire Terrier up as it yaps all night long.

Abolish countries.

We are one species, we should behave like it.
+1
I’m with jimdubleyou.
Oh, and ban religion. It’s shit.

Being king of the world would hold a helluva responsibility and should not be taken lightly, but I’d want everyone to have the best possible life for themselves, as happiness promotes happiness, which makes the world a better place and brings unity and community.

In order to achieve that from where we are now, we’d have to look at separating the ties which bind politics, media, finance and the arms industry, preventing the warped view of the world which escalates inequality, seeds division and transfers wealth from the many to the few, often times to pay for war, which has a massive unreported impact on the environment.

If a king had the power to do something like that, no doubt there’d be a whole lot of powerful people who’d want him dead, as they’re used to using divide and rule for their own nefarious ends…

But hey ho, a decent royal would surely be willing to make that sacrifice for their people, right?

Reintroduce the Texan bar.

Make orange cornettos

Emily Batty…that is all

Turn swords back into ploughshares.

That and free pudding for the good guys.