What’s the worse sound you’ve heard today? Well mine was the noise of 5 litres of varnish falling over in my boot, followed by unmistakable glugging of it emptying, knowing there was nothing I could do about it… Not good. I must point out I know this is my own stupid fault and I’m not looking for sympathy. But it would make me laugh if it happened to someone else, so I thought I’d share.

The sound of blood boiling as I discovered my bike missing from the garage this morning.

I got off the train at Paddington to the sound of bagpipes this morning!

Two very loud farts followed by a nice warm feeling

Boxfish wins, sorry man…… Been there, its horrible.

the sound of my elbows creaking as my car’s power steering packed up

The sound of my knees creaking isn’t nice. Yesterday would have been the sirens coming to collect my mate who’d broken his leg playing rugby, not nice.