What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever been?

We were sharing some old stories over the weekend and it remind me of my own worst moment….

The daughter of a family friend had offered me the use of her very small studio flat on a Friday/Saturday to allow me to work late shifts for a part time job I had. We were both about 20 at the time and she was incredible, I fancied the pants off her.

She used to stay on a Friday too and we’d often watch a movie whilst both sat/lay on the sofa bed, then I’d jump into a camp bed once it was finished.

On one occasion we’d started watching something on VHS, but the tracking was completely screwed so I jumped out of the bed to sort it out. I was wearing some nice white boxers and a t-shirt.

Thinking that maybe the sight of a young guy in a state of partial undress might help move things along in our friendship, I spent a bit longer bent over fixing the tracking than I probably needed to.

When I eventually jumped back under the covers I scanned her face, instinctively looking for some sort of sign that she’d been staring at my butt.

To be honest, she looked a bit uncomfortable and we watched the rest of the movie without speaking. When it had finished, I jumped into my camp bed (defeated) and went to sleep.

She’d already gone to work by the time I got up the next morning. I headed for a shower and upon removing my pants, my world fell apart. I had the biggest, most foul looking brown streak spanning the back of my pants 🙁

My mind started racing as I remembered the two “troubled” toilet visits I’d had the day before…and then to me wiggling my shit stained pants in her face for a few minutes later that night…and finally the look on her face when I jumped back into bed.

We never did become anything more than friends.

I take it you’ve learned to wipe your arse after having a crap since then?

I take it you’ve learned to wipe your arse after having a crap since then?

Like 8)

No, but I now take baby wipes on a night out if there’s any prospect of action 🙂

Getting caught shoplifting at Sainsbury’s when I was a teenager (I worked there!), then having to go and apologise to the family friend who’d got me the job in the first place. I think that’s the only time in my life I’ve been really, truly embarrased (lucky me, not bad for 42!).

Telling my mate I’d “had relations” with an ex girlfriend of his was a little uncomfortable too, but not really embarrassing.

My sister’s best friend included my email address in the group invite to my sister’s Hen night, presumably using my email address rather than my wife’s because she didn’t have it. I forwarded the email to my wife suggesting we would have to find a way to get her out of it as my sister had a terrible taste in friend’s who were to a person the dregs of society (or words to that effect)…..

Apart from I hadn’t pressed forward had I; I had pressed reply to all.

My sister’s wedding day was the most embarrassing day imaginable right up to the point that I got so bladdered I no longer cared. I have never had quite so many death stares from so many women in one day!

This doesn’t really compare

But it was priceless moment

I was part of a team looking after some D of E students in the lakes

I’m driving the mini bus around Booths car park in Keswick and spot space in the bus bit

Sat next to me are 2 of our helpers. Early 20 still in that I’m immortal phase of life

I’m sat patiently waiting to park as a steady stream of pensioners cross the road to their coach

2 girls start moaning about pensioners

“God they are so slow”

“Just look at that one can’t be long now”

etc.

They don’t seem to have noticed that the window is open and that they are clearly being heard by the pensioners

with acute embarrassment I start to curl up and hid my face

I role my head further and further forward and till eventually…

my head hits the horn

So now I’ve beeped the pensioners

I didn’t dare lift my head for a good 5 minutes

I hid inside a full length curtain by a patio door to frighten my girlfriend (we were 16) at her house. As she stepped up through the door, I wrapped her up in the curtain, picked up, kinda spun/shook her around and realised the weight of what I’d picked up wasn’t quite what I expected. It was her mum. 😳 Her dad used to whistle Simon and Garfunkel’s Mrs Robinson every time I popped round for weeks afterwards.

As it happens Saturday night features pretty highly.

My card was declined whilst paying for quite an expensive thing leading to a pretty sharp tone from the attendant. This, in its self, did not embarass me. What did embarass me was that this was in a lap dancing bar, and i had two impossibly stunning ladies about to do many things that are unsuitable for print here, in a private room. protestations from me about a healthy bank balance and how id just used the card fell on deaf ears. No special fun times for me 😥

I get outside the club, to find a message from the fraud squad at the bank. FFS. Go through all the rigmorole of security questions and card is unblocked.

Later on, in a nightclub, in a VIP room with my group and a few ladies, I go to the bar, order a bottle of vodka for the group, pay on my now unlocked card. Nope. Declined. had to empty my wallet of cash, plus sub a bit off a mate. Another message from the fun police fraud team at the bank. GGGRRRR

DD – you have just brightened a really dull day! 😆

Haha that’s reminded me of the other week.

We were on our way out of Billing aquadrome, there had been a car show on that weekend and my daughter and I (in our trusty avensis estate) were folloing a ridiculously low, ancient M3. You know the sort, stretched tyres, weird camber settings and 5 big lads sat in it.

They were having to go diagonally across the speed bumps at about 2 mph and the exhaust was still scraping.

I was just chatting away to my daughter about dinosaurs, as you do, minding my own business and driving along slowly and happily.

Anyway, the usual 6-7 min journey had taken nearly 20 at this point but, sunny day, not in a rush etc. We get to the last speed bump before the exit gate and I hear someone learning on their horn. The beemer stops and the lads all start piling out. This was the point I realised I was leaning on the horn, I use it so infrequently I didn’t really know what mine sounded like.

Considering I was actually quite scared I couldn’t stop laughing as they approached the car. Thankfully a bit of sign language through the laugher, and probably the sight of a 3 year old strapped in the child seat diffused the situation. It would have been embarrassing if not so scary 😀

im sure loads of stuff

but similar to the OP

as a grumpy hungover teenager I had to get up early to let some relatives in early one saturday when my folks were out

i just threw on some boxers stumbled down the stairs, opened the front door, grunted at my uncle and aunt and trudged back to bed, years later my uncle told me over a pint that even my quite religious and morally uptight aunt had chuckled at my arse crack being on display as i walked back upstairs in my backwards and undone boxer shorts

When i was 16 I lost my virginity at a party at a friends house, we lived in a small Hampshire village and i worked in the local One Stop convenience store. I was stood behind the counter, hung over on the sunday morning only for the mother of the friend who’d had the party to come into the store shouting at the top of her voice about the “stains” me and the young lady i’d met had left on her bed sheets in front of at least 8 people i knew and the store manager!

A friend invited me to a fancy dress party, and the theme was “Come dressed as a panda or Elvis”. I decided on panda, but it was a really busy week at work and I spent most commutes thinking “F***, that party is on Friday, where am I going to find a costume?”.

Friday morning, I remembered I had a sleeveless white hoodie, I just needed a long sleeve black top to go underneath, some facepaint, some gaffer tape and a white hairband to make ears. Quick trip around a shopping centre after work, whizzed home, housemate did a really excellent job of painting my face then gave me a lift over. As she drove away and I knocked on the door, I thought “It’s a bit quiet”.

My next thought, as the door opened, was “Why isn’t Sophie dressed as a panda or Elvis?”. I was 24 hours early, and this was on their wall for ages.

You are Robert Smith AICMFP

I used to have an embarrassing but somewhat talented dog…

One spring the me the mrs & our springer spaniel Ben took a trip to Kynance cove in cornwall, its one of my favourite places, just beautiful.

It was a glorious spring day, almost t-shirt weather, there’s quite a few people about, adults & kids enjoying the fine weather.

We wandered about taking in the nice scenery then decided we’d sit outside on the benches at the little cafe & have a cup of tea and a pasty.

Our dog Ben, was a particularly lively springer, not prone to sitting quietly – ever, most of the time he could be a royal PITA…

So i’m sitting there with the mrs thinking how idillic this is, even the dog’s calm… then I hear giggling behind me, at first I ignore it, then i hear ‘shush, don’t look… that’s enough now… come away etc’

So I look round to see 2 young girls desperately trying to stifle their giggles, early teens at a guess and their stern looking parents giving me daggers… what could possibly be causing this??

Then I see it…. the dog is laid back, giving the family behind a full frontal, old boy clasped between his jaws, back leg gyrating, bashing one out for all he was worth…