Spent the whole night pissesd calling my mother in laws new husband by the name of her ex that had died ten years earlier.
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What's the worst thing you have done whilst drunk?
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Posted 2 years ago #
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done lots of bad things when drunk but most were in the army so it was ok
i did quite a funny one looking back but it wasnt at the timei ran down a hill in harrogate just off the main drag the one with some of the shops having big bill boards hanging down . i had a girl on my shoulders forgetting either her or the sign i ran her right into it and we both went flying as did the sign, she lost consciousness and a couple of teeth ;-( funny now mind
Posted 2 years ago # -
Not me but when I was a student in Bangor I got woken up by a phonecall from a friend asking if I could wake up my (Irish) housemate. Turns out the guy (on the phone) had got wasted, somehow got on the train and ferry to Dublin, then managed to lose his wallet - all whilst dressed as a pirate. He was now stuck in Dublin with no way to get back. I think in the end the Irish guy had a cousin or something who bought a ferry ticket for the pirate.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I could write a book!
Posted 2 years ago # -
The 8 stitch scar down the side of my head reminds me that bikes and booze don't mix.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Whilst at uni in Kingston was bet i would'nt jump of the bridge into the thames, did'nt bother taking of any clothes as could see my halls froom the bridge, still remember my feet hitting the bottom, and think oopppsss this could go horribly wrong.
The next year swam across the Thames to get back to halls as it was quicker way back from the pub to my halls, than walking over the above bridge. Not my finest momentsPosted 2 years ago # -
This is a bit 'if you can remember it then you weren't really there' innit.
Posted 2 years ago # -
When I bought my current house, it needed a lot of work doing to it, so whilst I was refurbing the thing I was living at my parents. I went out one night, got resonably drunk but not hammered, came home and went to bed, woke up in the morning and all was well.
A week later when I was out celebrating my birthday with my mates and my siblings, when my sister says to me something along the line of "so what about you getting into bed with mum and dad!" WTF, Then something my brain had obviously tryed to protect me from remembering came rushing back.
I'd got up in the middle of the night to use the loo, then instead of going back to bed, I'd bounced my way up the middle of my mum and dads bed like a kid and got in with them.
Funny they never spoke about it.That was the start of my sleep walking...ive been in a few incidents since.
Posted 2 years ago # -
i dont no cos i cant remeber...but i woke up with 40 rugby tickets a few months ago...didnt pay for them...just got them...(their worth £360) and were for a game that was going to happen the next day.
thats only one of my drunken escapades that i dont no much asbout.Posted 2 years ago # -
too many to recount them all but a couple of good'uns.
Out with a mate on a session in Guildford we ended up at closing time in the Kings Head. This has a big A-frame pub sign outside the entrance to the beer garden detailing "15th Centruy (sic) Inn, good food, fine ales, etc...." Upon leaving the pub I notice the spelling mistake and convince my mate we should nick it. So we carry it right up the High Street in Guildford stretcher style, stash it in a side alley while we have a curry, and then somehow manage to convince a taxi driver to take us and the sign home. The conversation went sth like
'you can't bring that, you've nicked it'
'no we haven't, the pub said we could have it'
'why would they let you have their sign'
'because it's spelt wrong and we're going to fix it for them'
Taxi driver studies it carefully and has to admit, we're right. So we then go home with my mate in the front seat and me in the back, seats down to accomodate the booty.
On arriving home we set the sign up at the end of the soon to be future MrsV's bed, and then wake her up. For some reason she was less than delighted by our peace offerings.
I was forced to return it the next day, which i duly did at the crack of dawn, totally unseen. I don't even think they noticed it missing in which case, was it ever really stolen?On another occasion, at a workmates summer barbecue we got horribly drunk on a variety of rubbish (Polish grass vodka being the worst), and I got into a semi-humorous argument with my then boss about whether he would like an Aftershock. He steadfastly refused at which point I delivered the career limiting line 'Stop being a miserable irish c**t'
A hush fell over the gathering. Surely instant rebuke, nay - dismissal! He fixed me with a steely gaze and then delivered his response......
"I've never been called miserable before"
He retired a couple of years ago and the incident was never mentioned again. Thanks AJJ.
Posted 2 years ago # -
For my 24th Birthday decided to go out with 4 mates, went to a student club in Manc as they sold Desparado's for the princely sum of £2.50. Fast forward several hours and I'm 10 miles from our flat outside my friends house being violently sick.
I'd decided in my infite wisdom to go back to my friends house, he ended up calling my GF at 5.30am to come and get me. I was none the wiser until I woke up the next evening. To say she was not impressed would be correct.
The same friend once turned the wrong way when heading for the bathroom and took a leak in the cupboard under the stairs.
On a Uni team night out, several of us decided to steal a 20ft long Redbull banner from the bar. Cue 30 minutes of stealth and bar maid distraction. Managed to get away with it too.
Posted 2 years ago # -
An ex. girlfriend used to look after the horses of someone in the village when they were away. The house (more of a mansion really) was huge with tennis court, swimming pools, stables, forest etc. etc. (owner used to trade oil tankers I believe!). One week we were housesitting (staying in "The West Wing" of this enormous place) and after a particularly heavy night in the pub I awoke the next morning and stumbled into the en-suite, only to discover a big curly turd in the yellow bathtub. I obvioulsy didn't remember doing it but I must of got up in the middle of the night, perched on the edge of the bath and crimped one off. After disposing of it, no amount of scrubbing/Ajax could remove the brown-coloured, donut-shaped stain on the bath. I often wonder what the owners (or next house-guest) thought it was.....
Posted 2 years ago # -
Where to start - they normally involve sex with munters though.
Beat up a bouncer in Oban once who was beating up my mate in an alleyway - not proud of that one really
Brother had a broken leg (fell of a castle in the village we live in drunk) and there were no taxis home from pub so I drove us - got out of car and tripped on the seatbelt and smashed my face in.
Doing a sailing delivery trip for a friend who owns a boat brokerage - delivering this brand new £100k Beneteau yacht about 40miles down the coast - found some Champagne and beers that my mate had put on for the new owners to have delivery party with the next day. Anyway the 2 of us on board found this, drank it, got rat arsed and crashed the brand new boat into the lock gates. New owner never found out.
Got beat up off some navy guys for calling all navy guys queer.
Created a roadblock with no parking cones in Tarbet in Argyll whilst doing Scottish Series sailing, some range rover approaches and some dude tries to get out of the back doors whilst the car is moving (also pissed) to get at us - car back wheel drives over him causing major injuries. We subtly sneaked away from that one.
Decided to stop drinking recently.
Posted 2 years ago # -
rode home from work christmas party at 3am ish blitzed out of my mind in a black DJ jacket and tie, black jeans and a piss pot (no lights).
randomly binned it crossing the a57 and slid along on my cheek for a yard or two.
car literally (screamingly) accelerates at me as i lie there, then pulls onto kurb. I (drunk and thinking he was trying kill me) half hurled my bmx at the car, and hurl some choice language.
at which point 2 armed response constables hop out. (they were unamused)
balls.
Posted 2 years ago # -
stolen a car with the owner's acquaintances still inside
Posted 2 years ago # -
most of my really drunken days involve passing out and waking up somewhere strange ( possibly next to someone strange ) but in a real fit of *drunk logic*... and this is years and years ago... I left a club in my hometown and I knew I was too drunk too drive the mile or so home , which would take me past the local police station , which in those days would have been shut anyway at that hour -- so instead of driving that direct route I went the other way... country lanes for 4 miles , motorway for 5-6 miles and then country lanes another 4-5 miles the back way to my house.
oh ya.. that was brilliant.
Posted 2 years ago # -
At a house party while really drunk went to leave! They made everyone in the house leave there shoes at the door.....
I pissed in about 15 shoes! Longest piss i ever took!!
They were somewhat annoyed!!!
Same house 6 months later!!!
Me and a friend broke in. We took all furniture from downstairs upstairs bar the cooker... And put it in out mates room! We got so much stuff in there we had to climb out his bedroom window to leave! He came home from work that evening to think he had been robbed!! Police called and everything. He was pissed when he realised it had all been put in his room!!
Well funny!
Posted 2 years ago # -
A friend of mine kicked all the wing mirrors of cars on his way home then ripped out the toilet from a friends house and took it home with him as a trophy.
I walked into my mates room in the dark whilst they were shagging (she was ontop). I sat in the corner of the room sipping from a mug of redwine and asked if I could join in.
Anything else I will never tell on a public forum unless STW brings back anon postings.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Drunk and disorderly in Amsterdam, spent the wee small hours of my first night there in a police cell out of it in my boxer shorts, I'd been sick over my clothes at some point!
I had company mind you, my mate was in the cell next door!
Also once fell asleep walking back to my hotel in Crete, woke up by a coach load of Brits in the middle of nowhere, I'd walked past the hotel . . . got back, my mate was a sleep in the wardrobe!! Happy days!
Posted 2 years ago # -
3 of us eating chips after a club night. 2 of us started kicking lamps in on the market stall. Coppers see us about 50m. 2 of us scram, 3rd can't as he's injured his ankle. 2 of us stood in the night club crowd watching 3rd member get carted off by the fuzz. A night in jail in just his boxers... Not sure if he sees the funny side.
Also, dancing on a slippery floor, picked a girl up on my shoulders, slipped... Not sure what happened I was so drunk but I think it was OK. Makes me shudder to think, though.
Also, quite a few cars got trashed en route from Chesterfield town centre to home about 10 - 15 years ago. Mirrors, wipers, aerials, panels, tyres... Ashamed of that, I am.
Posted 2 years ago # -
ate a jar of pickled eggs.
Posted 2 years ago # -
ate a jar of pickled eggs.
I downed a bottle of vinegar and used a lighter to try and find where the smell of gas was coming from (we'd left the cooker on when we went out). One of my friends said 'dont turn on the light it'll spark an explosion, use a lighter instead'...
Such is drunk logic.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Someone I knew a few years back went out with his mates and was walked home by them after getting really wasted. The next morning his mum went into his bedroom to find the bed unslept in. She called his friends and they assured her they had dropped him off at the gates to the house.
She went outside to see if she could find any clues as to where he was and she found him fast asleep.
In the fish pond.
!!!!!!
Posted 2 years ago # -
I mate of mine got caught kicking the Tramps down by the embankment in London, instead of arresting him the copper suggested we take our mate around the corner and give him a good kicking, as his brother was with us that was not an option, although when we got home his brother ran a bath of cold water and we dumped him in that.
A few nights later we got a call from the Hard Rock Cafe the same guy was pi$$ed again and tried to do a runner, when we got there he was just in his undies as he was trying to leave his clothes as security until he got the money to pay.Posted 2 years ago # -
ex-girlfriends mum!
Posted 2 years ago # -
My favourite story was a guy in my hall at uni who, on the walk home, had decided to break into a building site and settle in for a bit of sleep. He eventually woke up and went back home to bed, but discovered the next morning that he'd left his shoes at the building site.
I love the image of him being so hammered, he'd slept on a pile of rubble, but somehow still thought to take his shoes off!
I'm not even going to list my own ones - far too embarrassing!
Posted 2 years ago # -
A couple of injuries - I ruptured a tendon falling from a friends shoulders on to my shoulder. I didn't want to put my hands out and spill my drink
. I broke a bone in my hand punching a billboard because it had a dancer on it - I didn't like dancers much at the time. Ten minutes later I got home and realising I was locked out climbed in through the kitchen window. I woke up in the morning in a wet bed with a now room-temperature bag of frozen peas. A couple of times I've woken up in unusual places. Once was on a lawn outside the object of my affections apartment. Her housemates hadn't taken kindly to my hammering on the door at 4am and in no uncertain terms told me to go home. I'd made it about 6 feet before passing out and woke up around lunchtime surrounded by sunbathers.
The other time was when I woke up on a train in Waterloo station. Not a massive problem for some but this happened to be the Eurostar and I happened to live in Paris
Posted 2 years ago # -
Of all the times I've been very, very drunk - and there HAVE been many - I think the worst acts in recent years have been the loud verbal abuse of my (ex) partner. Once in a London hotel room and again in a boat berthed up on the Caledonian Canal.
Things changed when our child was born, and frustrations built up. Being the emotional retard that I am, I could only release my pent-up feelings whilst horribly drunk....there's an irony - opening and imbibing the contents of a glass bottle to enable the opening and emptying the contents of an emotional one!
I'm told that my language and demeanour was vile. Even today a shameful remorse falls over me when I think about what I probably said.
Two incidents which contributed to my single status today, no doubt.Another two separate occasions saw me asleep on busy Glasgow thoroughfares, and by chance being passed by acquaintances who thought me a pleasant and friendly enough person (when sober) to pick me up and guide me home safely. I dread to think what might have happened otherwise.
Who was the OP again?
Thank you, sir, for starting a thought process in my head. Now that I have read some of the STW stories, and recalled and reflected upon some of the times in my life when 'a drink' has gone too far, I'm glad that I seem to have reached a point where I drink no more than four on a 'heavy' night now.
I hate hangovers; I've puked enough vomit to last a lifetime; and I've suffered too many 'soft-ons' to even think about trying to score with the fairer sex after a scoop any more.Cheers ae'bdy
Posted 2 years ago # -
ate a jar of pickled eggs.
meh. old hat. Just gives you foul breath and evil sh1ts for a week.Moss Bros refused to take my white tie suit back after a Cambridge May Ball. Even with accidental damage waiver. Too many reasons to list. The next day I was 7 hours late for an important meeting with a consultant cardiologist at UCH who chuckled the whole way through the meeting (as I tried my hardest to appear professional) then waved me goodbye with 'I'd normally suggest we went for a drink somewhere, but I'm guessing you're never drinking again?'
Good man Posted 2 years ago # -
Got dragged onto the stage in a live sex show club in Amsterdam and got "involved"
Posted 2 years ago # -
I got drunk and had a party while my mum and dad were in france, anyhow the garage burnt down and my mums car in it... 2 fire engines.. I slept through it pi$$ed ... yes I got a rolecking
Posted 2 years ago # -
maybe not the worst but among the stupidest - making the suggestion 'let's have a sword fight'. what could possibly go wrong?
as we had proper swords in the house no problem. some minutes later i have given one of my best mates his 'duelling scar'. an altercation arises, more fighting, he drags me done a gravel path and throws me through a gate. much bleeding and laughter.
then the wee neds arrive. we decide to retire indoors. but not before i've allegedly said something inflammatory about their mothers. flat windows smashed with bottles. we decant into the street. a much larger altercation ensues. police. arrests. court.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Nothing too bad for me. One of those people who know when to stop drinking. Thin line between having fun and being a total prick.
Posted 2 years ago # -
On holiday with a few friends in the Algarve his Dad was all too keen to take us for a ride on the his boat. So we hopped it over to gibraltar for the night; Evening started well with a civilized meal before us 5 young un's decided it was a bit crap and we should head over the boarder to La Linea for the night.
Me being the most sensible (not my vote!) I held everyones passports when we were in spain to ensure they were safe for the return boarder crossing. Anyways long story short I copped off with a barmaid did a load tequilas in a beach party before heading back to hers for a bit of spanish finest.
Following morning got walked to the boarder before runing back to Marina to go and gloat. Gloating lasted about 10 seconds after my mates Dad told me I had all my mates passports and after an altercation at the border the 4 pi$$ed brits without passports they'd all spent a night in the cells in spain.
One of the best nights of my life, they may not agree...
Posted 2 years ago # -
How about a non-happy ending.
An drunken aquaintance reckoned he could run across the beach between two sets of steps down the sea wall between waves. The waves were large and he failed.
Posted 2 years ago #
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