I’ll tell you what constitutes a bloody crisis! I’ve got a fully decked out cheese board here, heaving under the weight of dairy heaven, I’ve just poured a nice Rioja, and….

I’VE RUN OUT OF BLOODY CRACKERS!!!!

What the hell am I supposed to do now eh?

Good cheese does not need anything so crude as a biscuit. Grab a fork and get in to it!

Is this happening in London or somewhere “up north”?

It just feels like a personal failure. I look like an amateur. How the hell have I allowed this to happen?! It’s fundamental schoolboy stuff, this!

Agreed – cooled toast is the way to go.

cooled melba toast is the way to go.

Thanks Bregante, I fancy cheese on toast now… 🙂

I fancy some myself now! 😳

crisis – that would be if i dont get off this rig on time for my wednesday night flight to london. i have bike rides planned and all sorts .

Could be worse you could live in the Somerset levels cheese ,crackers but no wine!!
Rioja is a summer drink anway,big hitter reds only in winter or did that splash of sunshine today throw you?
PS For future reference keep a pack of Ryvitas in just for emergencies.

It just feels like a personal failure. I look like an amateur. How the hell have I allowed this to happen?! It’s fundamental schoolboy stuff, this!

I think you can rescue the situation though – dice all the cheese and place in a pudding bowl. Empty a jar of mayonnaise over the top, mix. Eat from the bowl with a spoon, like cornflakes.

Or if you want to fancy it up a bit divide the mix into 12 ramekins first, then eat from the 12 ramekins with a spoon, like cornflakes.

divide the mix into 12 ramekins first, then eat from the 12 ramekins with a spoon, like cornflakes organic muesli.

STW edit applied

Crisis was averted in the end after a rummage through the enormous crisps mountain (everyone with kids maintains one of these) in the kitchen yielded a packet of those tiny Mini Ritz crackers. Phew! So I’ve sat and chomped through a plateful of canapé sized cheese nibbles. Mrs Binners observed this with a look that was a nuanced mix of pity and contempt.

Nick – I took your advice and opted for a Shiraz 😀

Cycling to the park, in winter, with my 3 yr old on the back. He fell in the leaves and slid through the biggest, beigest dog egg ever and coated himself from armpit to boot tip. No wipes and a looong way home!

Enjoy your cheese 🙂

Canapes and wine?

Cheese and biscuits?

Rioja and a bloody cheese board?

A board?

For t’cheese?

You bloody southern blouse, ‘ave a bloody word with thi sen.

Canapes and wine?

Cheese and biscuits?

Rioja and a bloody cheese board?

A board?

For t’cheese?

You bloody southern blouse, ‘ave a bloody word with thi sen.

LOL 😆
I blame Maggie…

Nick – I took your advice and opted for a Shiraz

Get you with your selection of wines!

It’s deceptively spacious that place of yours!