I cannot understand people spending thousands of pounds on a wedding!

In the same boat. Trying to keep the wedding budget under control, every thing I look at turns out to be more than I expected. The latest appears to be palidium rings have been hallmarked, so now cheeky jewellers can charge twice as much. Great.

I think prices your quoting seem about right from my research. We are doing the ceremony & reception at the same place (so a bit difficult to claim it's just a party) but for around 60 guests and another 40 in the evening we're talking £6k. All in I reckon it will be in the region of £12k.

We're asking people to contribute to the honeymoon as wedding presents, because well, if they don't we won't be going!

Serious question – has the recession affected how much people will spend on a wedding? After all, it seems that couples foot the bill themselves these days.

Like Simon, I can not understand these figures 😯

I am footing the bill from our wedding (with a small contribution from brides mother – covering the dress). We've been lucky in that we haven't felt the recession, however it is still a ridiculous amount of money that means some sacrifices. No new car/bike, skiing/biking holidays, mealsout, weekends away for me this year.

The numbers add up very very fast. I'm sure even the people who claim to have got married for a fiver and a packet of pork scratchings add up everything it costs more than they expect.

I got a quote for a band yesterday – they wanted £1300.

it is sickening what people spend for one day's entertainment.

the GF's sister got married in march last year. they spent 14k€ on their one 'big day' (be an even bigger day if they get divorced!). the old man coughed up over 10k€ of that. the precise figure is being kept secret.

i said to the GF that should get married we'll write up a load of bills ourselves, do it on the cheap and pocket the cash.

oh, is it normal for the newly-weds to recieve bundles of money? it might be an Iranian thing but the (almost) sister-in-law (gulp, yuk) got over 5k€ in gift money.

if it is i'm definately getting married. yes, i'm shallow (and skint)

oh, and one of my many cousins got married a few years back and it cost them over £30k. i think they may be getting divorced – i've not spoken to them for a while.

Ewan – our local scout camp (Linnets clough in Mellor near Stockport) rent out their scout hut. It's nice and big. You can put your own decorations up and they hire the table, chairs etc. Maybe you could look into to something like that.

Why anybody would want to waste thousands of pounds on a wedding is beyond me, rather over indulgent way to stress yourself out planning for it & arguing over who your going to invite, who comes to the wedding or the evening do after. And as statistic's show you will end up getting an even more expensive divorce a few years later. You could buy a nice conservatory for the cost of a wedding or a new car.

What's crazier is the amount of people getting divorced nowadays! It's an even more expensive £15,000 well wasted!!! Let's just have the ace holidays and live together in sin! But it causes a bit of havoc!!

I used to know someone who owns a nice hotel by the river in Betws-y-Coed. Weddings are a pain for hotels as most people only want the bedrooms for, say, the Saturday night, which means that they are pretty empty on the Friday. Without the wedding they would probably rent the rooms for both nights or even longer, so they lose out on bookings and have the extra expense (laundry etc) of room changes. Add to this the level of staffing required to properly cater for a wedding party and you're looking at quite a sum. Obviously this gets passed on to the customer, the OP in this case.

The chap I knew in Betws said weddings are such a pain they doubled their asking price to put people off. It made no difference to the bookings, so they doubled it again. This made no difference either, but he's now very happy to cater for them as it makes a lot of money.

Moral of the story ? Either get married in a Register office, hire a marquee and do your own food, or suck it up, pay the money and get a good photographer so you've got something to look at whilst you pay the bills off.

I'm getting married in 3 1/2 weeks and have to say i'm looking forward to it. We've had it booked for 14 months (before the day) so have had plenty of time fo save up for it. Its in a place we like (shes always wanted to get married there) and its what we've wanted. It might not be to everybodies choice but then neither is driving to Gretna, grabbing a couple of locals to witness it and then having pie and chips from the local chippy or two for one.
If you want the big day with all the trimmings then get ready to pay for it. It still doesn't have to cost the earth though. We've got the wedding in the hotel, 5 course meal with drinks for 55 people, night doo with food for about 135 people. We're looking at £3800. There are still other costs on top (dress cake etc) but if you shop about and don't rush, even that shouldn't kill it.

My sister had her reception at the Tail End chip shop on Leith Walk, Edinburgh. The only extravagance was good champagne.

It was way better than my brothers Marquee on the lawn job here at the house.
http://picasaweb.google.com/mcmoonter/PeterSChildhood#5397266395025430882

My reception was in an Orkney Barn. Wedding was awesome, marriage was shite!

It's an even more expensive £15,000 well wasted!!

both my divorces cost me almost nothing. I think I had to pay the court £25…

skiprat – Member
We're looking at £3800. There are still other costs on top (dress cake etc) but if you shop about and don't rush, even that shouldn't kill it

Sheeesh you could get a top end mtb for that, think you have your priorities wrong. 😆

I can thoroughly recommend celebrating the end of a marriage with a Ti bike 🙄

We got married on a little island in the Bahamas. Prices in the UK was kind scary when we looked. That said, we got married in the place that mean't the most to both of us, not on price.

For the reception we had exlusive use of this bit of the hotel for the night. http://hopetownlodge.com/reefbar.htm

We did pay for food and booze which wasn't silly money but the cost for the venue, staff, table decorations etc was only $10 a head. Crazy cheap, especially when it was 2 dollars to the pound.

Guests did have to pay their own way to the bahamas mind you.

😉

We went to a BYO wedding last year – marquee etc. it was ace. They still dropped 12k on it though….

Did the wedding thing in the lakes, used a centre called Reghed. Got the whole place to ourselves after 6. Food superb and having seen every chintzy rund down hotel in the lakes it was modern light and really just what were were looking for. Try hiring a village hall, a friend did, small simple do with outside catering and a free bar servied by themselves. Small but such a memorable wedding. Worth thinking about so long as your not marrying in some urban enviroment, villages work well.

It's a source of constant surprise to me (as a wedding photographer) that often the weddings done on a bit of a shoestring (apart from the photography, obviously 🙂 ) are often far more memorable, fun and photogenic than those on which tens of thousands of pounds have been lavished.

I had two in December, back to back. The first was in a very upmarket country house hotel with beautiful architecture and grounds. Next day's wedding was held in a local cricket clubhouse and the second set of pics was far superior. I guess it all comes down to who you invite and how much fun they have…

Simonbarnes I was saying the wedding was a waste of money to then get divorced! Not that the divorce is expensive.

In my culture, two goats and a short dance round a fire and shes mine until I need more goats.

Also, there's huuuuge expectations these days, that a wedding venue must look absolutely amazing. If you want perfection (and most do), it comes with a price tag.

I've no problem with them saying we'll do this this and this for your £800 but I've a sneaky suspicion an absolutley empty room with no staffing would still cost an extra wedge for a wedding over a birthday party and surely table waiting is covered in the catering bill. Still can't believe the absolute balls out cheek of corkage charges tho!

Raindog those are some interesting points about the rooms but surely birthdays, christenings, whatever still have the same problems with guest staying 1 night only?

we got married abroad – santorini to be precise. Saved a flippin fortune. You only end up with the people that really want to be there as they have to pay for a holiday. 22 guests in total. Wedding was at Sunset on the terraces of a winery overlooking the Caldera – then off to a hill top taverna. We then through a party when we came home for the people that didn't come out. think we spent about 5k all in.

Get married on a weekday and say it is a business function. Friends of ours did this and it was half the cost of the "same" for a wedding from the same place. Wedding for 40 people vs business fn for 40 people. When the bride arrived the manager was a bit miffed that it was a wedding, but it all had been paid for and they had a lovely time!!! Another friend invited about 20 family and friends out to lunch at a nice restaurant and had a celebrant turn up in the middle…big surprise to all except the about to be married. Fortunately we got married before it cost heaps and in the country (Grafton, Australia) Good luck with all arrangements, but this is only for one day remember – you then get to have fun for the next 22 years or so (I have!!)

The venues who recommend my photography work out at about £35k for an average wedding. One is about £75k+.
It ensures I have lovely people to photograph! 😀

If you look on the Confetti site, their forum will also be a good source of help with keeping your costs to a minimum.

when I worked in the marquee industry, my company was billing between £2k to £25k just for our work (fully fitted out)
one client had 3 daughters get married in one summer, each tent bigger than the previous with more extras, last required major landscaping to fit it in, 4th daughter not allowed to marry for 5 years, at least

know one events organiser given an unlimited budget, including brand new bentleys for chauffering guests, because hired wouldn't smell new and just for the status, big name bands and DJ, tent custom built to link in with the house – needless to say it was a 7 figure event, the Beckhams wedding was cheaper

I honestly hope that my children do not want some show-offy affair. If they do they can pay for it themselves!

We live in such a shallow world … and I know that's rich coming from me with my bike habit. It's how life is after the wedding that is important … and reckon some people will be in for a rude awakening.

Is it not just bad taste in this recession to throw silly money around?

Guys – yes – guys. This is addressed to you.

I go to 50+ weddings a year (working). IMO it's a girl thing. Get over it. It's a life ambition for a significant number of girls (not all) to have a nice wedding with a church, dress, all the family / friends there.

Venues do seem to charge more for wedding as they have more overheads. More staff (120 people fed at the same time, things go wrong every time (that need to be covered up), PI insurance is way more expensive for anything to do with weddings (eg I or a venue can be forced to pay to 'resit' a wedding with Aunty from New Zeland), tend to run late, tends to …..

There may be a slight element of profiteering from some venues that are in big demand but overall I'd say most venues are complaining about margins.

Since I've got married I've spent more on bike stuff, computers, tvs, vans, xboxes,…. than my lovely lady ever wanted to spend on her big day. To be totally honest – I grumbled under my breath at the time. But on the day I loved it and in retrospect I leaned a lesson. Overall I would now spend more on a bike than my wife spent on our reception. If I had been a tight ass at the time I dont know if I'd get this lee way now???

only go out with with divorcees = sorted!! 😉

couldashouldawoulda – fair points. Future mrs ewan has pointed out i'm going on a biking holiday to whistler later in the year…. i tend to go quite whilst moaning about cost at that point!

We got married in Loch Lomond youth hostel. Beautiful building and grounds. All our mates came and stayed in the hostel for the whole weekend. Not cheap to hire the place for 3 days, but we charged a few quid to people who wanted to stay and it made it pretty reasonable.

Sensibly priced caterer, he provided the bar (no charge to us), we provided table wine and fizz (he chilled/served/etc for minimal corkage).

Ceilidh band then tunes on various iPods until the wee hours.

Best day of my life, no question. That's why it was worth a big chunk of cash.

If you do decide to go for a hotel type wedding, shop around and barter.

We had an idea of the kind of venue we wanted for our reception, and were looking at 50 people. My wife found somewhere really nice, but they wanted £3k for the venue, plus food. Increasing the numbers to 60 (I think we ended up with 67) meant we got the venue for free.

All in, I reckon it was about £4.5k plus cars/photos/dresses/rings, but it was a truly excellent day and everyone loved it.

We got married in Loch Lomond youth hostel. Beautiful building and grounds.

Up until last year, that was run by my mate Davie Watt. He's now at the Pitlochry hostel. Once a year, he used to block book it for members of the ephotozine photographic forum – ah, happy days….

Stevo – seriously, did you make money off the back of your family & friends attending your own wedding?
"but we charged a few quid to people who wanted to stay and it made it pretty reasonable."

it's a girl thing.

Yup I was only there to make up the numbers 😉

Stevo – seriously, did you make money off the back of your family & friends attending your own wedding?
"but we charged a few quid to people who wanted to stay and it made it pretty reasonable."

I bet he didnt "make money" 🙄 I'm guessing he just asked for a small contribution towards a room for the night. If ive ever gone to a wedding and stayed over i've always paid for my own room. TI29er, are you seriously surgesting I pay for all my guests acomodation? 😯

Cut back the numbers and that should help. Invite only those who are important, and not an entire extended family who you either don't know or don't like. I got married in 2006. Invited 15 people. Went to registry office then a reet posh restaurant for lunch, which came to £650 (including alcohol) then at the end of it everyone piled into cars/taxis and came back to our house and played on the playstation until late into the night then went home.

Total cost (excluding honeymoon) was about £1400, including rings.

Since then people have told me it was the best wedding ever!

Many ways to cut costs if you look into it and do a bit of lateral thinking.

buy your own booze- that's ok but the hotels will charge you 5-10£ bottle corkage

We saved an absolute fortune on booze by heading over to France, loading up the car, and paying corkage costs at the venue. Even with £8 per bottle corkage, you could get a decent bottle of wine for less than the house blue nun white.
The best bit about this – well, it didn't specify the SIZE of bottle that the £8 applied to. So we got jeraboams 🙂 Check the wording on the price list…

One wedding I went to only served sherry at the bar. Only wine at the table.
The guests went out and bought in bottles which they secreted under the tables!
If you're paying corkage – get a jeroboam or a nebuchadnezzar bottle of champagne.
One of my assistants was an usher in the first of those TV programs where the groom was given £11k to arrange the whole wedding, which he almost managed. Again, don't skimp on the bride's dress and flowers are a given, regardless of the cost – it's cost of the venue that you'll need to be the most careful about.
I know one well known venue in Essex that charges £35 to borrow their cake stand and knife – so make sure you know exactly what's in with the price you are paying or you'll be in for a dreadful shock.
You have countless wedding fayre at this time of the year, including Olympia and the NEC in February. Go and strike a deal – so few Brits seem willing to barter – there's a rather good advert on TV at present that alludes to just this. The Jewish & Greek communities here in N London expect to haggle and knock the starting price downwards.

The guests went out and bought in bottles which they secreted under the tables!

of course most venues are wise to this and regularly confiscate bottles at weddings…