In the Crowd by The Jam:

I fall into a trance, at the supermarket
The noise flows me along, as I catch falling cans,of baked beans on toast, technology is the most.

That Was Then, This is Now by ABC

Can’t complain, musn’t grumble
Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble.

Jesus wept on a bike.(< this is my exclamation, not part of the ABC song)

Bloody hell anything by SA & W..

If our love should crumble, like a very old wall. – Bros

Friday night they were dressed to kill, down at Dino’s Bar & Grill. – Thin Lizzy

How about the cranberries -i just shot john lennon-

It was the fearful night of December 8th.
He was returning home from the studio late.
He had perceptively known that it wouldn’t be nice.
Because in 1980, he paid the price.

That is right up there with William Mcgonagall

Down in The Park – Gary Numan

Oh, look, there’s a rape machine
I’d go outside if it looks the other way
You wouldn’t believe
The things they do

Des’ree and her hit single ‘Life’

I don’t want to see a ghost
It’s the sight that I fear most
I’d rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news

I googled the song to make sure I had the lyrics right, and wasn’t suprised to learn that the lady in question won a poll for the worst lyricist of all time by BBC listeners!

Bog off this beats all..

I just got down from the Isle of Skye
I’m not very big but I’m awful shy
All the lassies shout as I walk by,
“Donald, Where’s Your Trousers?”

That feeder song about a car or sommat – pure 5hit

Bog off this beats all..

I just got down from the Isle of Skye
I’m not very big but I’m awful shy
All the lassies shout as I walk by,
“Donald, Where’s Your Trousers?”

I’m sorry but that is a classic. You cannot knock it without insulting the whole Scottish nation

Physical Fascination by roxette:
“I got to go, get aboard attack a love jet…
And I got to find a power station with a beat”

In fairness, I dont think that english (or writing decent songs) was their strong point.

I’m sorry but that is a classic. You cannot knock it without insulting the whole Scottish nation

Doh!

2nd thoughts find someone else who thinks its a classic & I will re-tract my comment.. & force myself to enjoy some single malt as a penance.

Life is no nintendo game, but you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that’s why they call it window pane

Bloody eminem

I’m as serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer.

You say you’re easy on me but you’re about as easy as a nuclear war.

this sounds like a job for the toy dolls!
from Yul Brynner Was A Skinhead:

“There’s a fella from a film
reminds me of Duncan Goodhew
but he’s not a proper skinhead
cause he hasn’t got a tattoo

He’s not as wise as he seems
coz he’s just an actor
he’s a dunce, I’ve never seen him
on the Krypton Factor”

and
“His only claim to fame was that
he had a shiney nut
But I would look just the same
if I had my hair cut”

(nonetheless, it’s a great song.)
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy8fHoydspI[/video]

from James Bond Lives Down Our Street

“James Bond lives down our street
I’ve seen him he catches the 32 bus
James Bond lives down our street
sometimes he sits on the back seat with us
he’s got a gun strapped to his chest
you can’t shoot him in a bullet proof vest
a clever lad but can be a pest sometimes”

plus a random grab-bag of everything that warbling f*cking kazoo Duffy’s come out with.

Anything by bloc party or coldplay, yeah mate you were all yellow too.

I’m serious as cancer when I say…
Rhythm is a dancer.

US bombs cruisin’ overhead
There goes my love rocket red
Shoot it up….
Shoot it up….

Blaster bomb bomb bomb ahead
Multi millions still unfed
Amondo teeno givin’ head
Shoot it up….
Shoot it up….

Hold me shake me, I’m all shook up
Psycho maniac interblend, shoot it up
Now shoot it up

Shoot it up
Shoot it up
Shoot it up….

Teenage crime now fashion’s dead
Shoot it up
There goes my love rocket red
Shoot it up
Shoot it up
Shoot it up
Shoot it up
Shoot it up

Love Missile F1-11 – Sigue Sigue Sputnik

……Trousers. A Classic. I’m insulted.

Informer
You know say daddy me snow me-a (gonna) blame
A licky boom-boom down
‘Tective man he say, say Daddy Me Snow me stab someone down the lane
A licky boom-boom down

Police-a them-a they come and-a they blow down me door
One him come crawl through through my window
So they put me in the back the car at the station
From that point on I reach my destination
Well the destination reached in down-a East detention
Where they whip down me pants look up me bottom

Informer-Snow

D@mn, I was going to go with Snap, Rhythm is a Dancer.
Although ‘it’s like raaaeeeain, on your wedding day; a freeee riiiiiide, when you’ve already paid; good adviiiiice, you just can’t take’ is pretty bad. None of those are ironic, per se.

Bog off this beats all..

I just got down from the Isle of Skye
I’m not very big but I’m awful shy
All the lassies shout as I walk by,
“Donald, Where’s Your Trousers?”

I’m sorry but that is a classic. You cannot knock it without insulting the whole Scottish nation

There’s a quote I’ve heard on TV somewhere. Something along the lines of ‘nothing good’s come out of Scotland apart from Donald and his f&%^ing trousers…’

Gawd…anybody unfortunate enough to remember this?

I wish I was little bit taller,
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a ’64 Impala

I Wish – by Skee-Lo 🙂

^ tune. Loved it mashed up with Breeders Cannonball on Soulwax pt II

Shes so Lovely
Shes so Lovely
Shes so Lovely
Shes so Lovely

She’s so loverly, she’s so loverly, she’s so loverly, she’s so loverrrrrly

Repeat until nausea sets in. Or even worse,

Give me an evening, or give me a night.
I’ll show you the time, of your life.
I’ll walk you home safe, from the dark.
I’ll give you my jacket, I’ll give you my heart.

Or anything else by Scouting For Girls. Someone should steal their rhyming dictionary, then they’d be really screwed… 😈

EDIT: Damn, Shandy beat me to it

Carter USM have a lot to choose from really…

“If we club together
with all the diamonds we’ve saved
We could look to our hearts and say
we’ve got it in spades”

“Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains.”

Shakira

Got to be the stupidest lyric of all time

‘I’m sorry that i doubted you, i was so unfair
You were in a car crash, and you lost your hair’

The Beatles – Don’t Pass Me By

‘She’s a model and she’s looking good
I’d like to take her home it’s understood.’

Actually, that might be genius?

Also, Skee Lo FTW.

serious as cancer rhythm is a dancer just trully awful
hello by lionel ritchie – mainly the video but needs a vomit bag

Ruby Kenny rogers

the beatles one is meant to be rubbish it is intentional

“Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains.”

Wasn’t that song originally done in Spanish and translated? Scrap that, it probably sounds ridiculous in any language.

Let me hear you say yeah!
No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no there’s no limit!
No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no there’s no limit!

blah blah.

No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no there’s no limit!
No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no there’s no limit!

etc.

when this came out it was everywhere and did my head in. I could probably remember some crap analogies, or metaphors or just plain crap rhymes, but this one does it for me!

No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no there’s no limit!
No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no there’s no limit!

arghhh! shuttup already! I’d be surprised if French n saunders hadn’t done a crap “there’s no lyrics” parody. Hmm.. Another good thread would be “shit lazy comedy parodies”.

Boom Boom Boom
Let’s go back to my room
So we can do it all night
And you can make me feel right

I love Shriekback’s Nemesis, but the lyrics are just giggleworthy..

In a jungle of the senses
Tinkerbell and Jack the ripper
Love has no meaning, not where they come from
But we know pleasure is not that simple
Very little fruit is forbidden
Sometimes we wobble, sometimes we’re strong
But you know evil is an exact science
Being carefully correctly wrong

And of course Annabella Lwin, courtesy of Malcolm McLaren, I assume…

“I love you Eiffel Tower, you’ve got something I admire.
I love you Eiffel Tower wrap my legs around your spire.”

Can’t believe no one has mentioned it yet…

She’s electric
She’s in a family full of eccentrics
She done things I never expected
And I need more time
She’s got a sister
And god only knows how I’ve missed her
On the palm of her hand is a blister

Surely Noel was taking the piss when he suggested including this song on WTSMG

The sign that leads the way
The path we can not take
You’ve caught me at a bad time
So why don’t you piss off

Boom Boom Boom
Let’s go back to my room
So we can do it all night
And you can make me feel right

I love Shriekback’s Nemesis, but the lyrics are just giggleworthy..
I actually thought that was the Vengaboys
Boom boom boom boom, I want you in my room, let’s spend the night together, together in my room.

For dreadful/genius lyrics, Men at work is pretty good, plus
oo-ee-oo-ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang

…and so on

oh, yeah, that R Kelly song where he’s Trapped in the Closet. Stupid! check it out..
[*]http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/trapped-in-the-closet-full-version-lyrics-r-kelly/ba2299db23a359f2482570340027dba0[/*]

aaaah you forget U2 Elevation and it’s homage to our sunterranean friends too easily

A mole
Digging in a hole
Digging up my soul now
Going down, excavation

Higher now
In the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation

errrr Nice one Bono!! Someone stole your lyrics laptop you say?? Not bloody likely!

but Dr Nick, that’s brilliant, cos it’s obviously a massive pisstake, whereas the R Kelly shite is trying so earnestly hard to be a meaningful modern urban parable of somesort, but gone mentally shit.

i’m a massive U2 nut btw. Just think it’s a terrible lyric! almost as bad as get on your boots!

Chillybow!!!
Yiiihhaaaa!!!
Respect to the man in the icecream van!!!

Over and out!

Scooter-It dosent get any worse than this