QUOTE (MP D. Anderson @ Apr 10 2009, 06:01 PM) *
Hello I’m MP David Anderson, I am an member of parliament who represents the labour government and I am here to make you aware of a new bill being passed by government which will make the disciple of bike trials illegal. Extensive research has been conducted into the field by professionals after many complaints nationwide by residents and business owners who are aggrieved by permanent damage to personal property which, these damages are estimated to have totalled over three million pounds to repair which is proving to be a massive drain on the UK economy. We have also discovered that some traders have been using illegal methods to dodge import tax brackets, this is a serious breach which is undergoing further investigation.

If the bill is passed then the disciple of bike trials will be an illegal act, if you are caught persisting in these actions then you could face fines of up to £1000 and your bike to be confiscated on the spot, and later crushed unless the £500 impound release fee is payed. We hope that this will clean up the streets of all of this nuisance and disturbance which is caused to the public. Bike trials will only be permitted to continue at arranged natural destinations with the permission of the land owner. We are currently in negotiations with bike trials retailers making clear that it will be a criminal offence to sell distribute stock in any way shape or form.

Bike trials is being specifically targeted currently as findings have shown that the bikes are designed to casue maximum damage to walls via the use of “bash guards and rings” which cause the most amount of damage to the property possible. If this bill gets passed then we as a government feel comfortable that we can extend the law to include other disciplines such as BMX and mountain biking.

Another one of our main concerns is on the health and safety front, after the analysis of many illegal videos being produced by bike trials riders that the property shown is government property, this could leave us in a provocative situation as far as compensation claims that we plan to foresee could be. As if you are persisting in riding legally and hurt yourselves we could be liable, however by making it illegal we are completely covering ourselves on the health and safety front.

To conclude I suggest that you all find yourselves a new hobby that is not bike related as it is going to be very hard for you to legally ride in the foreseeable future, parkour is safe from this bill as they have not been seen to cause any public disturbance or cause criminal damage so maybe you should consider doing that instead. I will not reply in this topic as I have not been authorised by my superiors to do so, I just thought I should give you all a heads up. As the bill hasn’t been passed yet you still have an opportunity to create petitions and try to over turn this bill, I wish you the best of luck.

Just read this on the trials forum. Although this is aimed at the street trials riders,The part that makes reference to mountain bikes may have an impact on where you ride. Not good.

Sounds a bit drastic!

Reads like a wind-up to me…

“Disciple”? – Discipline I guess.

Lots of other barely literate bits in there.

You sure that’s for real?

9 days late.

Who is this mysterious disciple of bike trials?

buzz-lightyear – Member

Who is this mysterious disciple of bike trials?

Probably rides a Prophet!

It would not surprise me if this is true. It is bloody typical of the nanny-state we live in.

I second the wind-up comment. Given only 2-3 weeks back this bloke asked the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions in parliament to implement the cycle to work scheme for employees it’d be a stunning turnaround 😛

In fact the only references I can find to the above is here, a post on a trials forum and on Digg (pointing at the trials forum).

wind up!

I second the wind-up comment. Given only 2-3 weeks back this bloke asked the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions in parliament to implement the cycle to work scheme for employees it’d be a stunning turnaround

But trials riding and commuting to work are two totally different things, on totally different types of bikes.

It is a sad indictment of this country that this story could possibly be true – I sincerely hope it isn’t.

Lots of other barely literate bits in there.

Definitely written by an MP then.

“payed” not paid.

“Bike trials is being specifically targeted currently as findings have shown that the bikes are designed to casue maximum damage to walls via the use of “bash guards and rings” which cause the most amount of damage to the property possible”

should think the whole thing is a wind up….

Its not even in English you idiot. I can’t believe there are people as stupid as you who actually believe the tosh that they come across. Can’t you exercise a modicum of intelligence or do you need to run it by everyone else first just to see if there is a possibility of someone else having to use their brain instead of you having to use yours.

While I’m not as outraged at Fauxbyfour seems to be, I also think it’s a wind-up.

Gotta be, total rubbish.

whats that guy smoking? funny joke 😆