Do you think you could sandal him if it became physical?

If someone chased a female friend of mine down some stairs I’d probably deckshoe him, then chelseaboot him in the bo-loakes

Each night. glue on an extra, thin outer sole until you’ve built them up to platform shoes without him realising.

6 quid will solve your problem……

Wow thats a good deal….. Just imagine that arriving in the post after a drunk internet purchase……… 🙂

I didn’t read all of the above. Is it a religious thing? I ask because I religiously leave my walk- and work-boots in my own porch, because the smell a bit, and because the sunlight dries them out and may help disinfect them.

Do you know anyone that has a dog with a taste for chewing shoes….

Have a look at your deeds – some tenements will have something like a ‘Feu Charter’ dictating rules over what should or shouldn’t happen in communal areas. A lot of Feudal stuff was abolished in 2001 in scotland (it was a system by which someone could sell land or property but dictate conditions over what can happen on that property in perpetuity after the sale) but Feudal stuff relating to things like common areas in tenements is still valid.

Can you not start leaving your dildo collection on your doorstep, see how her likes it