Strangest thing you have been called on a bike?

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Strangest thing you have been called on a bike?

108 posts & 92 voices | Started 3 years ago by Mister P | Latest reply from Rusty Spanner

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2tyred - Member

On the road bike one evening the other week, out of the saddle hammering up the Crow Road (a nice gradual climb into the Campsies) as hard as I could, a car with two young women in it comes alongside me - the passenger puts the window down and says "check your LEGS!!"

Best ride ever.

Get called all sorts on the commute, from the unintentionally-complimentary (haw LANCE!) to the say-what-you-see (uhh BIKE!!)

Since seeing the Inbetweeners last week I've been tempted on several occasions to shout "bus w@nkers!" at bams waiting on buses.

Posted 3 years ago #
DezB - Member

"bus w@nkers!"

LOL, Quality!

Posted 3 years ago #
acjim - Member

bus **** - lol

Posted 3 years ago #
simonfbarnes - Member

"sexy bloke"

oh sorry, that was a dream :o)

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do

as popularised by a well known psychopathic spaceship computer...

Posted 3 years ago #
julianwilson - Member

the thing i like least about my 4 year-old Scott Genius is the rather in-your-face logos all over it. It is gopping to look at. Nevertheless, riding past the skateramp near newnham park after a nightride, accompanied by several thousand pounds worth of posh new enduros and epics underneath my more financially solvent friends, the kids hanging round gave me a "nice bike mate, oooooh, its a Scott!".

Posted 3 years ago #
chunkypaul - Member

got berated by an oap walking along the shopshire union canal for making her elderly dog jump...

"you should have a bell! my dog's deaf you know!"

"how is it going to hear my bell then?"

Posted 3 years ago #
mr frosty - Member

I've had "yours wheels are going around" shouted at me by a bus stop full of chavs ! the girl who said it looked very pleased with herself. Until a replyed so is your mother ! her laughing face dropped, an all her buddys laughed very loud ! he he

Posted 3 years ago #
Eccles - Member

"Indurain" in the basque country of all things I was marginally skinnier, but no more healthy/fast/capable.

The crowd was very, very drunk.

I've always cheered on the euskatel euskaidi boys ever since.

Posted 3 years ago #
cluke - Member

when i was doing a little bit of downhill, i was wearing my full face helmet as a local chav wiv his teenage mates said "oi, this thing will stop you from falling." i replied puzzled "it wont actually stop me falling mate, it will stop me getting a face like your." i cycled very quickly away after this!

Posted 3 years ago #
miketually - Member

Riding home from work today just before 6, a p***ed bloke holding a can of Stella called me a "stupid f***ing stupid man".

Posted 3 years ago #
ski - Member

Can only think of two, apart from the usual muffled abuse from passing cars.

"Cool Marin mate" from a school kid, I was riding an Inbred, slick insult, respect

"Don't splash us" from a group of walkers stood ankle high in the middle of a mother of all puddles, they got their wish.

Posted 3 years ago #
stoney - Member

"Nice bike apart from the pink bits.... Yer Greet Puff!!!!"

Posted 3 years ago #
acjim - Member

yesterday, teenager on a bmx; "gimp, gimp, gimp, gimp"

fair enough as I was lycra'd up on the road bike

Posted 3 years ago #
mrmo - Member

hop.

Posted 3 years ago #
kevonakona - Member

Going up the Menock pass last w/e on roadie with mtb-borders tope on.

"Bet you wished you had 27 gears now"

Posted 3 years ago #
jaybe1001 - Member

Got called a F*wit on a ride twice, consecutively by two different f*wits in cars.

Favourite was when biking though Melbourne at 6am Sunday on an organised ride, local drunks were all shouting "bum sniffers". Quite original I thought.

Posted 3 years ago #
Imprezarob - Member

I got called a maniac once early one morning for riding on Brighton promenade instead of the cycle lane by a guy on a quadbike..... If MTB's arent allowed on Brighton seafront, I'm pretty sure Quadbikes arent either!

It's so frustrating when you think of something clever to say when the moments passed!

Posted 3 years ago #
zaskar - Inactive

Car driving towards me at speed when I use at speed so I only heard:
"Oi you..."

Also Heard:

"Nice one", "Speedy", "Gay", "w&nka" and "Nice Bike".

Posted 3 years ago #
Lootenant - Member

On approaching from behind and passing a couple of ramblers around Rivi..

rambler 1 to rambler 2 - "They call them silent death those things"

Which was puzzling because I really wouldn't have thought you could call either me or my bike 'silent', particularly when climbing.

Posted 3 years ago #
rolymo - Member

on a kmb ride, after not falling off, someone else said i was "good"

Posted 3 years ago #
ChristoGinger - Member

a guy on a scooter(motorbike scooter) passed me on the other side of the road on my commute home and shouted "get a real bike". quite ironic I thought!

Posted 3 years ago #
catshoe - Member

a few years ago, having a go round the world cup XC course in Les Gets - several days before the event. I was on my own, puffing up a real hard climb when I had to ride past a group of local farmers out with their shotguns. They took great delight in shouting very theatrically "Allez, allez, circulez....on y vas..". etc etc. And gave me a TDF style push / boost up the hill. Which was great fun, and meant I really could not get off and walk up the rest of the hill no matter how much I wanted to

Posted 3 years ago #
BigBoyXC - Member

Got called a 'Fat Teletubbie' as I was wearing my yellow jacket on the road bike by a Citroen AX with 3 spotty 17 year olds in it who then swerved in front on me when I gave them the bird almost knocking me off. They were forced to stop in traffic at lights. I dismounted, ran up to them and suggested that all 3 should get out. They wouldn't. I was about to leave it when the one in the back called and signalled me a w4nker. So I tore off their NS wing mirror and left it on the bonnet of the now scared lads car to a round of applause from the pub garden opp the lights.

PS - I am 6ft 1" and 18+ stone of flat nosed ex-rugby player!

I thank you!

Posted 3 years ago #
hillsplease - Member

A lass shouted i had a 'nice arse' yesterday on the ride home through Rusholme. I presume she had been drinking and was wearing mahoosive sunnies - but it cheered me up all the same.

A pleasant contrast with 'you're not allowed them up here' on the W Lance Moors. Miserable blighters.

Posted 3 years ago #
TandemJeremy - Member

They took great delight in shouting very theatrically "Allez, allez, circulez....on y vas..". etc etc

I have had that in France as well - makes a pleasant change does from the abuse we sometimes get in the UK

Posted 3 years ago #
devs - Member

I passed some pissed up neds the other night in a subway. The sound of a ProII and echo was too much for one of them. "Ho, the boy's got a bit of card in his spokes and thinks he's on a motorbike." I think the under my breath "Cock!" was a bit loud because he shut up straight away.

Posted 3 years ago #
Nobby - Member

Recently having been tempted to the dark side I was called a "two-wheeled c**t" on my second ride out.

I may have been offended if the 'c0ck au van' wasn't smoking & talking on the phone at the same time and I hadn't been in a marked cycle lane.

Posted 3 years ago #
tommo999 - Member

Whenever shouted at by chavs, a favourite reply is

"Does your mum know you're out?"

if they reply "yeah why" or the like, a reply of

"Well you won't mind if I go round and f*** her then" usually gets a torrent of abuse, but believe me is so funny you can't help but laugh at whatever comes next!

Try it, you might like it

Posted 3 years ago #
Harry_the_Spider - Member

Me and Terrahawk got called W@nkers the other week by some old dear who had just escaped from the day care centre or the pub.

The strangest thing I ever got called was a "race whippet" by occassional forum botherer Rammyrunner. Ha ha ha ha ha etc...

Posted 3 years ago #
PeterPoddy - Member

Got called a 'Fat Teletubbie' as I was wearing my yellow jacket on the road bike by a Citroen AX with 3 spotty 17 year olds in it who then swerved in front on me when I gave them the bird almost knocking me off. They were forced to stop in traffic at lights. I dismounted, ran up to them and suggested that all 3 should get out. They wouldn't. I was about to leave it when the one in the back called and signalled me a w4nker. So I tore off their NS wing mirror and left it on the bonnet of the now scared lads car to a round of applause from the pub garden opp the lights.

PS - I am 6ft 1" and 18+ stone of flat nosed ex-rugby player!

I thank you!

You are my hero. Yes really. I wish I had the guts to do that.

Posted 3 years ago #
naokfreek - Member

Many, but the few i remember are

are you security?
sick bike!!
nice bum
lunatic
see you enn tea
rude
and arsehole

none as good as ganster though, man that made me laugh!

Posted 3 years ago #
abductee - Member

"Flash Gordon" because I had a flashing light on whilst commuting. He was drunk and setting off fireworks in other peoples gardens so I didn't stop for a chat.

Posted 3 years ago #
naokfreek - Member

must remberber how to sepll

Posted 3 years ago #
RealMan - Member

Also had a lad shout "wow a two legged bike" at us a couple of days before.

Made me laugh.

Had a spectator at the last gorrick event shout "you've got the job mate" every time I passed him (3 times).

Perhaps this had something to do with it..

Still, it got a bit boring after the 1st time.

Posted 3 years ago #
amosridl - Member

I've had "Ya plastic frenchie" ?, no idea.

The locals are quite dense round here though so usually I just get a loud "Aye...ya..aye...f***..aye" whilst they try to think of something funny.

Night riding round the local country park/drinking spot I nearly always get an "Alrighty Lance" "want a drink?" and 99% positive stuff.

Me and the chavs are tight fo sho.

Posted 3 years ago #

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