Well what can I say, the last week or so has been a rollercoaster which unfortunately feels as if it only has the downs. I'm 44 fit have a wonderful partner (soon to be wife) and a dynamo of a gorgeous 4 year old girl.
I have had no symptoms until a fortnight ago when my stomach started to become enlarged and steadily got worse. I was referred by my GP to the AMEA ward at hospital on Monday and was discharged on Tuesday with the thought of being constipated. I felt no better on the Thursday so went back to my GP who referred me again to AMEA but this time they did a CT scan and wham out of the blue you have cancer.
I've spent the last couple of days on the oncology ward where they carried out some ultrasound screening to see if they could help identify the pockets of liquid in my stomach but so far with little luck. The discussion with the oncologist doctor yesterday was surreal and still feels so. I have a biopsy on Monday so they can identify what type of cancer it is to help devise a plan but the last bit of news she said shocked me. It had probably originated from my bowel but has indeed spread throughout my stomach and the chemotherapy route would be palliative. My life feels as though it's stopped and when we came home last night (for a weekend at home before the biopsy on Monday) I feel as if I've walked into the wrong house. The house we've lived in happily for years and have lots of great times but now I'm here and it's not the person. I almost feel like an imposter here because I'm not the same anymore.
When I got home at night my gorgeous daughter gave me a huge welcome asking if my tummy is better and when will the doctors make it better. I can hear her now downstairs playing and laughing and teasing her aunty who's come over to help but I'm currently upstairs feeling scared.
Sorry for sharing this but I have always read similar posts and found people to be inspirational. The soon to be Mrs King just read this post so she knows about this thread.
Thanks all.
Ugh. Sorry to hear that dude, hope you get it sorted out.
<gulp>
Wow, that's big news for you to take in.
Best wishes to you (all) for the next few weeks while they work out exactly what's going on with you.
aww, **** it - you can have a manhug, too !!
Jeez. I feel for you. I know it'll sound trite on a forum, but if there is anything anyone of us can do, please ask.
If you're any where near Cardiff and want a sympathetic ear or someone to ride with, my email is in my profile.
oh that's horrible. Wishing all of you strength in working out how to go through this. No-one is every ready for that sort of news 🙁
Man that's awful news, I'm so sorry. My wife and I were talking about similar things recently and decided that life is so uncertain that we should only plan ahead a year at a time and to focus on our family and generating as many happy memories as possible.
Nothing to add but good luck fella and massive sympathies. Go kick the cancer up the arse.
Eeek. Good luck fella, sadly I'm not sure anything else would be of much use.
Keep strong!
I've written a few versions but I can't say much more than sorry to hear this Juan. No one's ready for news like that.
That's certainly a shitty stick! Not been there myself but have known people who have been. I know it's really difficult, nigh on impossible, but your mind may well race away with worse case scenarios. I can only suggest you try and take each day at a time. You don't know the outcome of the appointment on Monday so I'd say see what comes out of that and take it from there.
Oh and go kick cancer in the slats!
ouch.
the oncologist news will clearly stop you in your tracks, certainly override your weekend, but on the flip side you coulda simply missed the right line into a corner and wipe yourself out on a tree, any ride!
keep as much perspective as you can
Very sorry to hear this. I've been worrying this week over things which now seem so trivial compared to what you are going through.
You are fit, young, and cancer treatments are improving rapidly. Good luck and vent all you want on here.
Not much to add, just that my thoughts are with you and your family. Please keep this thread updated with your progress. We can all be dickheads on here at times, but are generally great at offering support when needed. Vent away.
All the best, dude. Fingers crossed for better knews when you get to the bottom of it.
Big hugs to you
Sorry to hear. **sends good vibes in your general direction!**
Nothing much to add except this. And it's probably horribly practical.
Video everything. Photograph everything. You and your daughter playing, you and your wife going for walks, you talking about your thoughts about your daughter's future, your hopes and advice for her.
With any luck you get to watch them together, but just in case, it might mean a lot in 10-20 years.
And chose a format / storage method that will last 29 years.
Apart from that, be lucky, get well.
Until you are told it's not curable, it's curable. Don't overthink it and Carpe Diem every day, live life like you stole it and the very best of luck.
Until you are told it's not curable, it's curable. Don't overthink it and Carpe Diem every day, live life like you stole it and the very best of luck
^^^ This ^^^
If you need to speak to anyone we're all here for you.
Like everyone else here, I wish you & your family good luck in getting well again soon.
Ooof......
What do I know, but come out swinging and channel your strength and spirit to fighting this. Take all the (professional) advice you can get and use it selectively. Whatever may lie ahead, preparing your loved ones for the fight and whatever the consequences may be should be a focus. We are defined and remembered for our spirit and cancer can't touch that. Rooting for you.
The shit news that no one wants to be told.. *Manhugs*
Can't imagine how hard it is but stay strong.. .
Like others there's nothing I can say that will be of any use, but stay strong and fight your way through this.
stay positive fella, lifes not over by any stretch. treat it as one of lifes many shitty hurdles and kick its arse
Lucky it isn't man flu..... 😉
I don't have the words to tell you how sorry I am. Chin up and keep fighting.
Oh mate. Get Monday done, and see what they say then, once the Dr.s know exactly what's what they can't be certain what the plan of attack is.
You're in a terrificly crappy position this weekend with this weighing on you and your little family. I'm really thinking of you and yours buddy, really really am.
Feeling for you matey. It's not over until it's over. Enjoy every moment. I'm gonna go and hug my kids now.
Stay strong fella, fingers crossed
Juan i m so sorry to read this. Two of my friends are in the same position and it literally stops you in your tracks.
Post up any news theres a load of experts on here, you are certainly not alone.
Good luck.
Good luck mate, be strong.
Thanks all. Just been playing with my daughter this afternoon and playing some games which is a much needed distraction. Had my dear old mum on the phone earlier (who has just been discharged from her cancer unit) telling me the Welsh posse are heading up to Aberdeen en masse tomorrow to come and see me and will all be staying a while which is great news.
I'm finding saying it out loud the hardest thing.
Thanks for the responses I really do find them of great comfort.
Cheers all.
Shattering news, it'll take some time to sink in. You are at the bottom of the biggest climb you've ever tackled, looking up is daunting but just like those climbs you thought impossible but conquered on past rides you will put your head down and using your Granny ring you'll climb to the top and one day find yourself looking back down the hill and thinking that despite the doubts you had at the start you did it!
Firstly, you have no need to apologise, there are plenty of people on here who have been directly or indirectly touched by cancer. There are quite a few survivors on here. You become another one. #****cancer
As above, you are not alone.
All the best, fight the fight and be strong.
We're all on your side. Stay strong.
I'm really sorry to hear that. I can't imagine what it's like, but I wish you courage and strength.
...and communication. Don't be afraid to pour it all out to Mrs.King-to-be. Fear is primal and can be overwhelming, and it's only by confronting those fears and expressing them that we can start dealing with them and seeing what's rational and what's not and where we can find hope and what we can do about it, and that's definitely best done together.
Good luck man. Medicine is amazing and can fix a lot of things.
I invariably don't know what to say to these things, but I wish you and your fiance and your daughter all the best. Be one of the ones that beats it.
Horrible news to get. I remember well a weekend like that. Anyway there's a good club on here of fighters and survivors and we need more members, so get to it!
Oh and I'd echo what was said above about photos and video, I vetoed any record and regret it now...it's an important part of your life.
Oooff, concentrate on Monday, take someone with you, listen, ask questions, stay strong. My thoughts are with you and yours
Stay as strong as you can and fight for every day. A mate has been going through this since just before Christmas, also has a youngster.
That is the shittiest of shit news and I wish you well however your story unfolds over the next few weeks, months and hopefully years.
Not sure if you want practical advice just yet but based on my own experience:
Start writing questions down as you think of them, it's really hard to remember things you wanted to ask when you're sat in the doctors office and information is coming at you thick and fast.
Make use of the Macmillan nurses, they really are generally excellent and will be a great help to you and your partner.
Share your thoughts and emotions with friends and family, you may want to put on a brave face in front of your daughter but with everyone else just be honest. This is no time for things to go unsaid.
If people offer to help, let them.
If you have any financial loose ends, try and find the time to sort those out. If you're entitled to any benefits during your treatment make sure to claim them. Although the financial side of things might sound largely insignificant under the circumstances I expect you'll want to be spending as much time as possible with your partner, daughter and family and anything you can do to alleviate money worries allows you to concentrate on more important things.
:-(. I don't know what to say.
Thoughts with you and anyone in the same boat.
Goodluck to you and your family.
I just read your post and the description of your feelings sucked me straight back in time to around 12 years ago when I went to the hospital with my girlfriend who was hit with news very similar to yours. I'm not a good enough writer to describe all the feelings at the time, but we really needed all the support, love and help from everyone around us that we could get - take every piece of support you can. It's a memory that is still so strong that it is bringing tears back to me now and at the time we didn't have kids, hearing mine downstairs at the moment can only make me imagine how that adds to your feelings.
I'm so happy to say that my girlfriend from that time is now my wife. Somewhat strangely I still don't really believe in luck or miracles, but somehow we got lucky that time, her cancer got caught just in the nick of time and a good surgeon saved her life, with possibly only days in it.
I wish you a happy ending to your story. Good luck and best wishes.
I've nothing to add to what others have already said, and better than I ever could, except to say that we wish you all the very best.
Gutted for you, hearing this. I've been through similar with my dad and although like you say, the world stops, it does get a little easier once the initial shock of hearing the c word has sunk in. I echo what's been said above about making use of Macmillan Nurses they really are awesome and helpful.
Good luck and hoping for the best outcome.