There's a dry slope in Sunderland where you can learn, but the best places right now (and close by) are the ski tows round the weardale, teesdale and allenheds. People have been out skiing and boarding every day since 16th of December conditions are very good right now, and all the slopes are way better than any UK snowdome.
However, you'd need to borrow/hire a board and boots (but then I'm fairly sure there are places in Newcastle and/or Sunderland that'll sort you for that if you don't have any mates who ride), and find someone friendly to help you with the basics (again you may know someone).
Some links for the ski tows…
weardale,[url=http://www.yadmoss.co.uk/index.htm]yad moss, [/url] allen, and harwood.
Harwood is your best bet for beginners- no pomas and you can do a day for a tenner. Yad moss will do day passes still, but the others have sold out for the year (!)
[edit] And if they are no good, head north. Glenshee/ Cairngorm are within 4-4.5 hours and piss all over any fridges/xscape etc.