but being angry with someone is counter-productive
I dont agree Anger is a natural response for some people, its the action that follows that needs to be measured and anger doesnt need to lead to violence, they are seperate things.
Anger can lead to a response such as remonstration, constructive argument or confrontation, all of which may be positive. Anger as an emotion needs to be channelled but may not be counter productive per se.
Anger can lead to a response such as remonstration, constructive argument or confrontation
Lol!
Do you think an angry shouting red-faced person is MORE or LESS likely to take your point and admit their mistake?
Sorry Daisy didnt read the original author. Sorry to hear that but hopefully it happened nearer work than home which gives you a couple of route options. Get some details and report it.
Take care dude!
You might not feel it yourself, but you have to
understand it cos it's a big part of life
unfortunately.
I understand that it happens, and I understand situations that it might happen in, but I can't understand the motivation behind it.
If someone accused me of driving like a cock then I'd either apologise or get angry and argue my case. But no part of me thinks "This person disagrees with me and I believe them to be wrong - therefore I shall challenge them to a duel with bare-knuckle fisticuffs and possibly a Crooklock"
But then I don't get the punching someone for spilling your pint thing either.
Perhaps I'm too delicate for this world 
cynic-al - Member
Op how did the incident come about? [i]
He over took me in a 30limit giving me plenty of space, then we immediately come to a set of t'lights and pulls in front. His cab had plenty of space, but his 30ft trailer nearly took me out. Had to unclip and lend as far left as i could, over a set of railing, to avoid being clobbered.
Do you think an angry shouting red-faced person is MORE or LESS likely to take your point and admit their mistake?
You mentioned "shouting" and "red faced" I didnt and why would you assume that when people get angry they go red faced and raise their voice?
Are you just trying to strengthen your argument?
There are plenty of other ways of being non confrontational without being apologetic.
Fair enough, if you can find one.
I suggested a familiar sentence form that included the word 'sorry' more as an 'excuse me' type of opener - possibly even in a sarcastic way. I didn't say that you had to actually be contrite.
Psychology is the reason why sorry is used in this sentence.
why would you assume that when people get angry they go red faced and raise their voice?
Because that's usually what happens... especially in road rage situations... it's not called road rage for nothing.
Because that's usually what happens... especially in road rage situations... it's not called road rage for nothing
But you are confusing "usually" with "in all instances"
I frequently get angry (I see this as a flaw) but I struggle to conceive of a situation where I would be physically violent, any issues I have had have been in defence. I dont get a red face or shout.
This person disagrees with me and I believe them to be wrong - therefore I shall challenge them to a duel with bare-knuckle fisticuffs and possibly a Crooklock"
Dunno about others but I like to ease off to aid overtaking for long or slow vehicles.
Of course Al, as you're always going so fast! 
Self-control is a sign of a mature and psychologically sound person.
So not everyone can override their natural urge to get angry when confronted or scared.
Personally I make my feelings known remotely - by waving my arms around, or just putting it down to them being an idiot and staying away. Too easy to come to harm when it's car vs bike
I frequently get angry (I see this as a flaw) but I struggle to conceive of a situation where I would be physically violent, any issues I have had have been in defence. I dont get a red face or shout.
Well that's great, but how does you explaining your less common case help this thread?
I am the same FWIW.
by waving my arms around
I did the handle-shuffle once. The lad braked hard and selected reverse (at speed).
What really works us the 'what' open arm gesture? Works in the car as well. combatitive-types lookout for and get off on aggressive hand movements IMO.
...but as you say- the best thing to do is nothing. Stressing out cancels out the benefit of cycling into work.
Bigyinn it's nothing to do with speed as the op has demonstrated.
Well that's great, but how does you explaining your less common case help this thread?
Dont know but surely even anecdotaly it makes a greater contribution than telling the aggressor that you are sorry. 
You're not telling the agressor you're sorry for getting in their way.
You're opening a sentence with a common disarming turn of phrase in order that your conversation might achieve a useful end.
I think that's a useful life lesson. And it works for me often.
but as you say- the best thing to do is nothing
But surely that just reinforces bad/dangerous behaviour. We can disagree on what response is appropriate but in my opinion there should at least be one.
cynic-al - MemberDunno about others but I like to ease off to aid overtaking for long or slow vehicles.
Yup - in conjunction with owning my space in the road so they can only overtake when I deem it safe. So when the road is narrow I am right out into the road stopping them squeezing past, When there is enough room for them to pass safely I tuck into the edge, stop pedalling and wave them thru
Reasonable questions along the lines of "does my safety matter to you" are pretty disarming IMO.
, When there is enough room for them to pass safely I tuck into the edge, stop pedalling and wave them thru
A good idea but too often abused, giving us a bad name.
Al - always done with my safety as the paramount concern - but it seems reasonable that if I have been forceful in making them wait behind I acknowledge their patience in doing so and make it easy to pass when I deem it safe
I don't really see how it could be abused
I like to ease off to aid overtaking for long or slow vehicles.
I like them to wait till there is enough room to overtake me safely like the highway code says they should do.
I don't really see how it could be abused
Junkyard - MemberMe too!I like them to wait till there is enough room to overtake me safely like the highway code says they should do.
I ride on the pavement, it's much safer.
Anyway, thought you'd like to know I made it home without incident, phew, but thought better about cycling in this morning. Silly I know.
Thanks for all the advice. Think I'll think twice before opening gob next time! 
Stay safe.
B
Don't let em get to you! Especially not in this perfect riding weather
If I realise I am holding up traffic and might be for a few hundred yards more, I pull over or hop onto the pavement.
Glad to hear you are safe DD.
Last time I had a lorry pull back in on me to soon I chased after him as I knew he would have to stop up ahead and when I did catch up with him and pointed out that he'd pulled back in on me he was very apologetic which completely through me. So there are some good lorry drivers who like the rest of us miss judge things and are ready to say sorry.
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