Only 25% of the workforce have made it in plus Germany is on holiday (our main suppliers) so feel free to recommend any fun stuff (work friendly).

How's everyone else doing?

Old but still good…

One point office dares…

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).

3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".

7) Leave your zip open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

8 ) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

9) While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

10) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Three point office dares…

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

6) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."

7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

8 ) Don't use any punctuation

9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Five point office dares…

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"

8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig etc) during a very important conference call.

15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.

18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

My whole team has cried off… two of which who drive AWD cars!

Current plan is to see if I can get away with watching Iron Man in HD on the 8m x 3m screen in the basement.

Or Quake Live or the obligatory snowball fight in the car park!

"Working from home"? Saps!

I'm unfortunate enough to live 2 streets from work, whereas the rest of them live either on top or have to get up a hill to get to work. Just waiting for the MD to ring in with a condescending "tough living so close to work isn't it" call.

Gonna be a long long day.

It's sunny where I am at the moment and I'm worried that if it keeps up I'll have to go back into the office tomorrow.

We all got an email saying our site was closed. – not so useful for those who only picked it up after cycling to work!

Management just told us to go home at midday 🙂