The reason the female toilets are so **** horribly minging, is this strange obsession that women have with "hovering"
They think its clever to avoid sitting on the toilet seat (maybe they're afraid of catching "The Aids") - consequently, they lean backwards trying to Barnes-Wallis their waste into the pan!
one of my mates had kidney problems so if he peed in the urinals unpleasant blood n stuff so he always peed in teh cubicle where possible
Some dirty git it at our place easy rides the bog like it's a Harley Davidson. Consequently, he leaves skids on the front "wall" of the pan.
Some dirty git it at our place easy rides the bog like it's a Harley Davidson. Consequently, he leaves skids on the front "wall" of the pan.
Don't forget to mention the occasional sightings of Brown October
Slightly OT but the why undo your belt etc question made me think of it - anyone ever tried schoolboy p!ssing? I was introduced to it on a stag do last year. Every time you go to the toilet (urinal) you have to drop your trousers and pants to your ankles and pull your shirt/t-shirt up to your nipples, then lean back, thrusting crutch towards the urinal and p!ss.
The funniest thing ever, gets lots of bemused looks from other punters and has you in fits of laughter. Obviously better done in a group for backup, I've never tried it down my local on a Sunday lunch.
so this is where all the pricks hang out?
Well, tonyd, I've never tried it and I am never likely to, but it made me bloody laugh! 
There's a bloke at our office who stands at the urinal with his pants and trousers round his ankles.
I can't see how I can respect his opinion on anything...
Which way is he facing?
Isn't that what's known as an "informal invitational"?
There's a bloke at our office who stands at the urinal with his pants and trousers round his ankles.
Surely his trousers etc would get wet if the floor is the usual piss covered business.
Anyways, amazing what people can get worked up about. Next it will be the debate about wiping standing up or sitting down.
Wiping standing up? Surely you jest.
Somebody I know worked with a chap who went to the (work's) toilets, every Friday afternoon at 3:45 for a sherman.
Totally open about it apparently. As in "right... back in five, time for me Friday w@nk"
Pff.
Nothing to complain about at all.... try the public dumpers in China if you want the full experience.
I went in one in Xian, where the experiences went like this :-
1) Walk in all cubicles were squatters rather than sitters, all in action not one door closed!
2) Floor was awash, which I presumed was water until someone walked in saw the place was full so whipped JT out and promptly emptied his bladder onto the floor.
3) Desperate search for bog paper completed on discovery that for bog paper read buying a pack of tissues (i.e. Kleenex) from the attendant, so crisis over.......until the bit when you realsie that regular tissues do not have the substance that bog paper does....cue vigorous hand washing!
Think you've had it hard Pah!
I went into a pub in Barnsley many moons ago (no pun intended) and some dirty fecker had reversed into the urinal and dropped off the kids.
I've experienced a Chinese Public Shithouse too.
Busting for a dump on arrival at Ningbo airport. Walked into the khazi, surveyed the scene as outlined above, walked back out again and took the chance that the trip to the paper mill was a) not too long and b) not too bumpy.
I was rewarded with 5 minutes in the Production Director's marble and gold fitted throne room. It was like the booking hall of Grand Central Station in there... but with onyx taps and a fish tank.
b'mitch must have been wearing his knitted opposite day suit mr starship! <harry hill voice>poo in the urinals, stand up wee in the cubicles.... opposite day!!! :D</harry hill voice>
Wiping standing up? Surely you jest.
50/50 split apparently.
LOL at Harry. Similar stories, in fact I got into the habit of never missing the opportunity of a European style loo.
One factory that I went to, coincidentally also in Ningbo, had managed to build a really top quality loo in the reception area, however the downside being that some halfwit had decided that it would be the height of style to put the entrance doorway on the far side of a wapping great carp pool, about 5 metres across. So access was via stepping stones. Not good when you are hunched up with a pucker fact 10 butt wrecker imminent.
Worst public loos on my travels have been at Frankfurt Airport. No room manoeuvre if you've got your hand luggage with you and need to change after 14 hours in cattle class next to some evil smelling b'stard. Double bad if the hook on the door is broken as the floors are filthy.
The ones in Karachi Airport were ace. Good job too as I spent 9 hours in there with an arse like a water fountain 
I had to pay £2 in Egypt airport for toilet paper...the guy cleaning the gave them to people when they needed them (and then collected them from the cubicle afterwards).
I only had a £2 coin...I should have wrestled him to the ground and wiped on his trouser leg.
I also walked into a Hong Kong toilet only to discover that either, a) someone had stolen the toilets and doors, or b) they had forgotten to install them.
Everyone else seemed happy...even got a friendly smile from someone curling one out.
Many years ago in Paris...
'local' bar, needed to go urgently. And as a young lad I was most perplexed why there wasn't any toilets, just what looked like shower cubicles.
Oh.
To compound it they had saloon style doors on them too, so standing for a p1ss was easy enough, and somewhat private, where it mattered.
Taking a long drop and squatting down had the effect of not being able to see out and one's 'tackle' being hung low and highly visible.
---
And...
Advice: Don't ever have a hangover vomit into a toilet that's fed by sulphur rich bore water. I bent over, retching, took a breath and then damn near passed my ring up through my throat.
I was in the toilet in a Geant supermarket in Provence. I'd just got up to full flow when a young mum walked in, stood her young son on the urinal next to me, got out his widge and said "vien". He proceeded to pee. I looked at her, she looked at me (eyes) and then looked down to check out my undercarriage. Cheeky French mare
She was just making sure that she didn't trip over it.
Why does everyone assume that those who use the cubicles to pee are gay? surely those that want to pee openly in front of other men do so becasue they want to be more manly.
Feel the love.
My final disgusting foreign khazi story for today.
Many years ago a colleague of mine was involved in the installation of two paper machines in Iran. (A paper machine is the size of a ship). Between the two was a central electrical room from which cable trenches were cut into the floor out to the machines. It wasn’t until they were pulling the cable from the central room to machine two that they realised that the local labour had been using the trenches as makeshift toilets. Nasty.
hora - Member
Public toilets are there for men to meet other men for unprotected sex.
Only the toilets you frequent, Hora...
I don't concern myself what goes on in public loos. I just go in to urinate, and sometimes defecate (only if it's clean).
Stikes me some people on here spend quite a bit of time hanging around public loos, given the amount of stories... 
I don't concern myself what goes on in public loos.
Come to think of it... I didn't think we saw you at the SwinleySexyAfterPartyRide.
hora - Member
Public toilets are there for men to meet other men for unprotected sex.
If this is true for women and the ladies public loos then I'm going in to catch a show 
tonyd - Member
Slightly OT but the why undo your belt etc question made me think of it - anyone ever tried schoolboy p!ssing? I was introduced to it on a stag do last year. Every time you go to the toilet (urinal) you have to drop your trousers and pants to your ankles and pull your shirt/t-shirt up to your nipples, then lean back, thrusting crutch towards the urinal and p!ss.The funniest thing ever, gets lots of bemused looks from other punters and has you in fits of laughter. Obviously better done in a group for backup, I've never tried it down my local on a Sunday lunch.
Posted 4 hours ago # Report-Post
Best not in Brighton or Manchester.
Every time I see a bloke go into a trap for a wee when there's perfectly servicable urinals free, I think to myself, "micropenis."
I know some one who always uses the trap and I've also seen him turned down by a professional lady as he was too big.
This topic has been closed to new replies.
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