I had a tussle with an RS6 Avant when I had my Golf R32 – clearly the Audi was MUCH quicker in the straight line (this was on twisty B roads) but he just couldn't keep up on the bends due to his vast weight. He got really narked!

But just to dish up some humble pie, I absolutely could not shake off a very well driven 106 GTi (less than half the power of the R32) on a similar road once!

Funny when fast cars are "levelled" by roads that don't really suit them.

How many of you have actually driven a Cayenne? Not many I suspect – I haven't. Can only compare to an X5 4.8is which is a similarish sort of car – amazingly quick, brilliant handling, not bad in snow, great for towing and for some the high up driving position is a real boon.

As usual, Mat's posts deserves this:

😉

To be fair Matt when it comes to twisty roads it has as much to do with the driver as the car. I used to own a 205Gti and I could keep up with pretty much anything down the twisty back roads I knew well, Porches included.

I love Porches but the Cayenne is nothing short of a 'Cock Chariot' of the highest order. Yes it may be okay to drive, it may be quick but it's never going to be as rewarding as a 911 or RS4/6 once off the motorway. The Turbo Cayenne's 0-60 in 5.1secs and a top speed of 170mph is not really that good these days for a car with 500hp. Plus it will guzzle half a oil tanker every time you pull away from the lights.

That's just my opinion though. If I wanted a 4×4 I would buy a Land Rover. If I want a fast practical estate car then I would buy an RS2/4/6. If I was an old man with a receding hairline and wanted to pose then maybe, just maybe I'd buy the Cayenne.

Oh and before you ask, yes I have driven a Cayenne – one of our directors has one as his company car. It was the V8 version (automatic) not the Turbo and I was a bit underwhelmed to be honest. At the end of the day it's just a tarted up VW under the skin.

Still he loved and couldn't stop raving about it so it's horses for courses I suppose.

The RS6 apparently doesn't actually handle very well, nor does the RS2. The RS4 does however (the only one of the three I've driven). The RS6 is just a mighty engined continent basher – as demonstrated above, on a "fun" road almost two tonnes really hurts it's cornering agility.

Jamie – of course you forgot the bit where I couldn't shake off a 106 didn't you? Surprise surprise.

I remember being held onto very well by a small van – something like a Berlingo. Twisty roads, me in something fairly quickish. While it's fun to blast people off, it's also good to see really good driving from others in fairly cr4p vehicles.

Jamie – of course you forgot the bit where I couldn't shake off a 106 didn't you? Surprise surprise.

How could I miss off anything when nothing was quoted?

>How many of you have actually driven a Cayenne? Not many I suspect<

Yeah that was my conclusion – I think everyone else should clear this thread and let you and the OP wave your respective Willy's 😉

Never mind Jamie. Just keep on taking that medication. Your health care worker is due in shortly.

Heather – it is mandatory for a number of STWers to spout opinions on things they know nowt about but that makes them jealous/angry/upset.

If someone asked for opinions on a Bell Jetranger or Sunseeker Predator, many STWers would voice a strong "opinion" based on no knowledge, just shoulder chips the size of a McCain factory.

It's the way of the World – if you can't have it, slate it. Works for anything from expensive bikes to vast mansions.

Some of us are capable of avoiding a green mist and actually sensibly discussing things.

Now the door handles on the Jetranger – a bit tinny I reckon. And that engine is a bit coarse too…

The RS6 apparently doesn't actually handle very well, nor does the RS2. The RS4 does however (the only one of the three I've driven). The RS6 is just a mighty engined continent basher – as demonstrated above, on a "fun" road almost two tonnes really hurts it's cornering agility.

The mark4 r32 was slower in the dry than the rs6 on a very wet track on TG's power lap times obviously terrible in the corners…….. 🙄

I'd have an M5 estate way before a Cayenne, although the Cayenne's don't look too hideous in graphite with matching wheels, reduces the impact of the fugly front.

Never mind Jamie. Just keep on taking that medication. Your health care worker is due in shortly.

😥

I've driven one of the few RS2's around and it does handle pretty nicely. It's more about high levels of grip than pure handling in the balanced sense but it sure grips like hell and can get it's power down well in all conditions, wet and greasy included.

An RS2/4/6 is a tad more exclusive than a Porsche anyway. When was the last time you saw one on the road? It's not every week is it. They are fast practical cars, that those in the know respect – without being too flashy in the process.

On the other hand if you fancy a couple of years of 'Willy Waving' or a mid life crisis is fast approaching then a Porsche Cayenne could be just the perfect car for you 😀

The mark4 r32 was slower in the dry than the rs6 on a very wet track on TG's power lap times obviously terrible in the corners.

Yes and a 106GTI was slower than an R32 on that track but this was a REAL ROAD with non racing drivers at the wheel. Laps times are all well and good but only an indication. The mk4 R32 got the SAME time as an SL55 AMG Merc. Would you say the Golf was as quick? No.

I see RS6s and RS4s quite often down here. Very rarely see RS2s though.

Would never ever get a Cayenne but I appreciate what they can do.

Going back to the start of this thread…Admirable says
"Capable off road too"

Surely no-one in their right mind would take one of these off road? We were in the Brecons over the bank holiday weekend and came across a trio of 'off roaders'. There was a Mitsi Warrior, a Toureg and an XC90 and they'd turned around at exactly the point in the trail where I'd have driven in any standard 2 wheel drive car.

We made significantly faster progress than them back to the road as well at a gentle cruising pace.

I've offroaded (nothing too extreme) an X5 on silly wheels and it was okay. Better than an estate car but I wouldn't take one of these or a Cayenne "properly" offroading – ever.

If you want luxury and off road ability, it has to be a Range Rover (NOT a Sport), a Landcruiser or a Disco.

muchos BHP

will equal shed loads of fuel if you ever drive it like it was designed to be.
just cos its frugal when driven at a constant 58mph on a motorway doesnt mean you wont spend loads on fuel….the bigger the bhp the heavier your right foot will become!

You just have to look at the weight of the thing – Cayenne is 2.4 tons 😯

Compared to the RS4 which weight in at 1.7 tons and does practically the same job, you're carrying around an extra 0.7 tons – for what real benefit – sitting a little higher perhaps?

That's the same weight as a Lotus Elise or about 7 x Chris Moyles FFS!

And here was me the other day buying a new saddle for the bike. I was pretty chuffed that I had saved 100 grams. Makes you think doesn't it 😕

"Funny when fast cars are "levelled" by roads that don't really suit them."

I would say its alot more to do with the skill of the driver. The majority of people would be quicker in a fwd lower powered car than some thing more exotic with lots of power because they dont have the skill to handle it.

It comes back to the whole crux of the wanting the Cayenne the orginal post just says he wants to go quicker in a straight line than his mate in an Audi, fine just buy some thing with a big lump in it. Personally I wouldnt have the skill or balls to drive 2 tonnes of lump 6ft off the ground any quicker than 1.0ltr fwd bod standard car on twisty country B roads.

Again, thanks for all the replies chaps.

Shame some them have to be so personal but if it makes the poster feel better….

Anyway, firstly I would agree that a Caynenne is Fugly and if buying purely on looks then it'd be a big fat 'No'!

Second point – I'd never in a million years buy one of these brand new. Or even remotely new for that matter, there's no willy waving – I don't have £80k + to spend on a faux 4×4 and would have a hard time justifying it even if I did.

My original point was in relation to these being very cheap relatively speaking (cheaper than an RS6) and that they have lots of power, toys and bike carrying capacity (maybe). I realise that some treat them as an 'extension', however I'm a big enough c0ck already so its not required. Just taken a 996 out on test and really liked it, although it wasn't as quick as I expected, not much on my S3 to be honest. The dealer has an M5 due in soon so I'm off to try that when its in. The boots on those are HUGE, even on the saloon so maybe that'll do the job!

Do you guuys really race around on the same roads that I drive my kids down??

You said

I had a tussle with an RS6 Avant when I had my Golf R32 – clearly the Audi was MUCH quicker in the straight line (this was on twisty B roads) but he just couldn't keep up on the bends due to his vast weight. He got really narked!

But just to dish up some humble pie, I absolutely could not shake off a very well driven 106 GTi (less than half the power of the R32) on a similar road once!

You shouldn't be on the road mate. You're a danger to yourself and more importantly other people. Twisty B roads are not there for you to race on, it's someone exactly like you that killed my brother in law.

Sorry Dad

Strange that as I've never had a crash or a point on my license.

So sorry jools, despite what happened, your accusation is pretty daft. Just like the Police instructor that taught me, you can drive quickly AND SAFELY.

There's a difference between driving fast and safely, and racing though. If you're attention/concentration is on keeping up with the car in front or getting away from the car behind. Is it likely to be as much focussed on making sure the environment is clear enough for you to drive fast as it would be if the other car wasn't there?

Sounds irresponsible to me. But then we don't know the full circumstances, maybe the road was closed and it was a private event?

I don't think so

You might be an ace driver but the guy in the RS6 or the 106?

It's not a controlled environmment a track is.

Drving rapidly cross counrty is not in and of itself dangerous, racing some other person is because you've no idea what the other guy will do.

My case, B road, BIL cycling along on a Sunday afternoon in the middle of nowhere, two guys racing, one overtakes on a bend = 2 father less girls and a suicidal widow.

Your hypothetical belief in you own skill is widely different from the reality of illegal road racing.

As Peyote says if it was a closed road you have my apologies.

Flange, prepare to be disppointed with the M5. In all seriousness, it's not a patch on the previous shape. Quicker, certainly, but there's minimal low-down torque, the gearbox is horrible, and I couldn't get on with either the brakes or the steering. 13.5mpg is stupid as well.

Hugely quick, mind you – the head up display showed exactly 21mph more than the supposedly limited top speed. On a private airfield, obviously.

If you want luxury and off road ability, it has to be a Range Rover (NOT a Sport), a Landcruiser or a Disco.

Fiat Panda 4×4?

Don't allow your judgements about the RR Sport's image to overshadow the reality of its off-road capabilities.

Flange – WTF has happened to you my boy?

I remember when you were happiest driving around in that mobile dungeon of a van, crimping it's boost pipe whenever you got the chance.

No matter how dreamy you are – you will look an utter homo driving a Porsche.

Now stop with this nonsense – NOW!

Hang on chaps, I think we're getting a bit out of context here (apologies for my 'Sorry Dad' comment by the way – hadn't read the entire post)

First off, this post is about buying a Cayenee, not racing other people in cars. I like having a bit of power that should I have the chance on a bit of deserted motorway (M25 springs to mind) then I can 'open the taps' and enjoy the thrill of driving quickly. I get caught speeding and its my own fault – my 4 points aquired from speeding on my motorbike is proof of this. On the flip side, racing on public roads is not something I endorse and no matter how good a driver you think you are, you can't predict whats round the corner/coming out of a junction/running out from behind a parked car. To me its too risky and not something I do.

Lets not turn this into another 'all speed kills' thread if possible

No worries I was a bit miffed by the whole racing thing.

That porker is still a bit pants though, fast estate all the way!

RS6 has got to be the thing.

Jools – anyone that goes 90 around a blind narrow bend is utterly stupid.

Cop driving taught me to go faster in the "right" place but also slower around the "wrong" corner. For example most of us might take a very tight country lane bend at 30 or even 40. It would be more like 20 when trained properly. It's all about being "defensive" – correct road positioning for the best sightline, anticipation, making informed decisions, etc.

It's also about realising when you've done wrong and learning from it – no one is a perfect driver, no one is always right.

Add that lot together and you can enjoy driving quickly relatively safely.

Drive quickly without any of that and you WILL crash and hurt yourself and/or others.

A well trained, alert and enthusiastic driver is safer than a bored non trained one that hates driving IMO.

ducks the huge penises being waved in the air

AWESOME

You didn't read my post at all did you Matt, not all about you is it?

Good luck fella I hope you stay safe.

Ducking out as dont want to crap on the OP's, shall I by a universally unpopular, poorly reviewed and completely irrelevant car thread.

😆

No jools it's not but seeing as you directed a pretty scathing remark at me, I feel I was justified in replying. And yes I DID read your threads – otherwise why would I have replied?

Duh.

>I had a tussle with an RS6 Avant when I had my Golf R32 – clearly the Audi was MUCH quicker in the straight line (this was on twisty B roads) but he just couldn't keep up on the bends due to his vast weight. He got really narked!<

Guess that must have been cos you were

>being "defensive" – correct road positioning for the best sightline, anticipation, making informed decisions, etc.<

Not racing – ohh noo sir officer…

Jesus wept, some of you really haven't a clue do you?

Oh well, leaves more space for those who do.

I think we've got your number pal 😉

Suf matt – invoke hattterslys law – when in a hole stop digging.

I have myself enjoyed fast driving – at a bet far faster than anything you have done ( powerful motorbikes and deserted roads)

However I would never get involved in "tussles" with other vehicles – that is simply stupid and shows how little skill you actually have at driving – no skilled safe fast driver would do that. Just wannabes.

Matt, You said you'd been racing on the public road. I said that was pretty dumb and gave you a real example of why but you've convinced yourself what you do is somehow safe as a copper trained you once.

No one is infallable.

Heather Bash – Member

I think we've got your number pal
54 46? Thats his number?

I have myself enjoyed fast driving – at a bet far faster than anything you have done ( powerful motorbikes and deserted roads)

Well that statement should settle things…..