Night riding rocks for a hundred reasons.
1. Get back soaked to the skin, freezing cold. Sweet!
2. 15 miles riding around on open moorland convinced you're being followed by a madman, years off your life.
3. Ride back past gangs of bored teenagers who hurl abuse, cans, bottles, knives.
4. Have a puncture right in front of said gangs. My, that's an interesting night for you. Take weapons.
5. ride a trail at light speed because 'you know it' and then cannon into a tree because at night it's different.
6. Experience light envy. You've spent 200 quid on a new front light and because one of your riding partners has spent a whole lot more on something else, you can't see shit apart from his EARTHSUN weaving around burning out owls eyes. What a Tw@.
7. Pub worry. You all stop for a drink, but your toes are actually at zero degrees kelvin, all you want is a hot cup of tea but that would be less than manly so you have to have a pint with the boys. Don't worry, all their toes feel like ice blocks too, they're just acting it up.
8. The whisky stop. Someone will bring out a small flask and offer it round. They're hoping no-one will accept. It's **** Talisker in there man, it's 30 quid a bottle! But every one takes a swig anyway. The non-whisky drinkers nearly shit their pants at taking on a 40% drink but this is a male bonding experience, don't flinch! Oh, and don't get pulled driving home.
9. YOU NEVER GET HOME AT THE TIME YOU SAID YOU WOULD! So the wife will be storming around, angry that you've got home later than you said. She will claim this is worry, something might have happened to you but in reality, she's cross you've been out enjoying yourself longer than the pre-arranged period. Now you'll suffer! Sorry, just try and think of the ride while you're being nagged.
10. You get home half cooked, knacklered, cold and wet. Do you do some bike maintenance? DO you ****! Throw it in the shed/garage, shower, beer and bed. Screw YOU!
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