Just got back - muddy and a little pished.
Just got back - muddy and a little pished.
I got soaked to the arse last night, had 2 puncture's but it was still great....the wife think's were all bloody mental though
Yep - My wife seems to think the whole thing is wrong - ho hum
Night riding rocks for a hundred reasons.
1. Get back soaked to the skin, freezing cold. Sweet!
2. 15 miles riding around on open moorland convinced you're being followed by a madman, years off your life.
3. Ride back past gangs of bored teenagers who hurl abuse, cans, bottles, knives.
4. Have a puncture right in front of said gangs. My, that's an interesting night for you. Take weapons.
5. ride a trail at light speed because 'you know it' and then cannon into a tree because at night it's different.
6. Experience light envy. You've spent 200 quid on a new front light and because one of your riding partners has spent a whole lot more on something else, you can't see shit apart from his EARTHSUN weaving around burning out owls eyes. What a Tw@.
7. Pub worry. You all stop for a drink, but your toes are actually at zero degrees kelvin, all you want is a hot cup of tea but that would be less than manly so you have to have a pint with the boys. Don't worry, all their toes feel like ice blocks too, they're just acting it up.
8. The whisky stop. Someone will bring out a small flask and offer it round. They're hoping no-one will accept. It's **** Talisker in there man, it's 30 quid a bottle! But every one takes a swig anyway. The non-whisky drinkers nearly shit their pants at taking on a 40% drink but this is a male bonding experience, don't flinch! Oh, and don't get pulled driving home.
9. YOU NEVER GET HOME AT THE TIME YOU SAID YOU WOULD! So the wife will be storming around, angry that you've got home later than you said. She will claim this is worry, something might have happened to you but in reality, she's cross you've been out enjoying yourself longer than the pre-arranged period. Now you'll suffer! Sorry, just try and think of the ride while you're being nagged.
10. You get home half cooked, knacklered, cold and wet. Do you do some bike maintenance? DO you ****! Throw it in the shed/garage, shower, beer and bed. Screw YOU!
HAHA! how true is number 9 in that list!!! I never set a time per se, just say a few hours and send a text when on way home via suburbia...
Beautifully put Samurai.
11. The next day at work you KNOW that everyone around you has no concept how much FUN you had last night. They think you've been dogging.
12. You aren't supposed to have this much fun in the mud once you are past 6 years old.
13. The near miss - and detailed description in the pub afterwards.
14. You can pedal faster than werewolfs and vampires can run.
Yep, number 11 there is spot on. It's like fight club.
but often, you have been dogging; just not intentionally!
this list is making me smile - and get a little excited about tomorrow nights ride, even though I haven't done this afternoons yet!
number 2 rings a bell for me!! Its the best fun ever but I do need to invest in proper lights because number 5 keeps happening to me lol
Lol... brilliant list there.
I'd add the ride home from the pub after several sherberts. Hilarious wobbling and falling off doesn't hurt as you are all loose and floppy anyway.
Superb, top list.
Done number 4. Me & buddy flying along Baslow Edge many years ago heading down into Baslow. Know it like the back of my hand. Then pass a huge monument. MONUMENT??? WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM? Yep, took a left turn that I'd never even seen in the day!
Happy days, or should that be happy nights?
15. clandestine reclamation of trails from the red socks that you've spent hours looking at maps and recce-ing to discover. And when you first share a new bit of trail you've found with your mates it's a real buzz.
Night riding is the best
And you get an opportunity to test your magic sheets. They work like a dream, trust me.
Its much better in the day time though...
Ha HA! Number 9 and number 11 are so true!
What about #16: You get home starving, cold and muddy. Eat and drink but can't be bothered showering before you go to bed. Wash your face and crawl into bed in the dark. Get a repeat helping of #9 in the morning when your partner wakes up muddy too
A few years ago when the riding and drinking were getting seriously enthusiastic wifey laid down the law......
"If you're not home by three next time, don't bother"
17 No matter how much it hurts you've got to show willing and be efficient in getting the kids ready for school the next day, cos you'll get so much grief if you look like you're suffering for your fun.
I am soon to be the ****t in number 6.... I am really hoping it sets light to a squirrel
love that list! I was sure i was being followed last night as well.
Anyone else find the distant barking of dogs WAY more scary at night time? The relief at discovering the wolf noises that had being following us around all night was actually a husky dog team was huge the other night.
not great for taking pics on a camera phone
Getting my new Hope Vision 2 helmet light this weekend. With my Tiger x 2, gives me over 2100 lulus for Swinley. My mate now has to ride behind me as his arse just casts a silhouette that covers his path when I'm behind him.
Variation on 16:
you can't have a shower because that wakes the wife and kids adding to 9. So you opt for a bath, as hot as you can stand. Being smart you rinse your legs off before putting the plug in but you never get it all off, so you always get a bit of grit under your arse making it slightly uncomfortable. But not uncomfortable enough to stop you dozing off and waking up in a tepid bath with wrinkly fingers an hour later. And your tea's gone cold on the side as well. But despite all this, you're still smiling.
"old git surrey".. I might just turn up and burn your ass.. 1 lamp 2500 lumens, eat my laser beam.
Will take a P7 in my pocket to top 3000 as thats a nice round figure..
17. surprising doggers
18. surprising blokes sat by themselves in their cars the middle of nowhere looking at laptops
We had a great ride round Torver Common from Blawith on Wednesday, marred only by one whingeing git who complained that it was "too muddy". TOO MUDDY FFS ?? We're called the BOG TROTTERS and it's been raining for most of the last year, what else do you expect you tarty apology for a man!!
<and breathe> :o)
too muddy? kill him
Nice one Jon Had a brilliant ride last night in the Malverns. Frozen on top, toasty warm in superb clothing. Had the hills to ourselves. Great views for absolute miles, full moon, fast blasts out-reaching the lights, bit slidey in places.
Home. Stew. Beer. Bath. Asleep in 2 seconds. Bacon sandwich cooked as "Hero's breakfast".
Guy at work has just stumped up £480 for gym membership. I reckon this lot is WAY better value.
Love riding in the summer. Love riding in the winter too. So many people seem to treat MTBing as a 3 season sport. They're missing lots
I just enjoy meeting like-minded men at night, dressed in lycra, in remote car parks in the woods
I am hoping to have a bash at the this night riding malarkey. It should prove interesting
For me Night riding is all about standing on top of a Hill over looking your village/town/city rain and wind pelting down on you your lights illuminating the next decent and a small smile comes across your face, thinking of the poor suckers sat infront of their Tv's or on a hamster wheel at the gym!
First night ride in aaages planned tonight.
Hipflask primed with Laphroig.
Great trails (Badaguish)
No drive home.
Nearly a full moon.
Should be a stonker. Cannae wait.
Hipflask - looks like it's part of the experience we are missing.
Must put one on my Christmas list.
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