If you take the OP at his word that he hasn't crashed/damaged the frame, which I do, the answer for the frame damage is fairly obvious. It's been damaged in transport to the uk or to you by the courier. You or the guys at 18bikes didn't notice it so it must have been so slight that it's hard to tell without a jig. The damage has then become worse with use as swingarms are put under a lot of stress, hence it not showing up straight away.
You can understand Nicolai's response, they know it has left the workshop straight. A year later it is returned bent with the owner saying it has hardly been used.
I posted a frame a couple of years ago when we had the postal strikes and by the time it had arrived one of the chainstays was snapped clean in half, with no obvious damage to the box. I had made a dropout brace out of 8mm studding and four nuts as well, the good old royal mail! Having done a bit of courier work I can easily see how enough force has been put on the frame to bend it.
I think the repair cost is fair considering the work invovled. Having to pay for it to be returned to germany is out of order unless you would have been returned these costs had Nicolai agreed that it was a warranty issue. Both you and Nicolai have lost out to the courier but you'll never be able to prove it. I can understand your anger but unfortunately it is just one of those things. You can't win them all and at the end of the day even with the repair costs you still have a frame under the rrp.