genghispod finally plucks up the courage

Bake a cake and ice it. On the icing, pipe the link to the MN bum sex page.

Hand over cake.

Etc.

just invite her out for dinner/drink. be charming. apply booze. lots of lovely booze.

works every time.

Forget the single mums, think au pair!

+1 for not involving the kids. It might be difficult afterwards, if you find you don't get on but the kids do.

Can't add anything to the sensible advice above – good luck and let the STW matchmaking service know how it goes!

Seeing as where you live, maybe a trip to the beach? That way, even if she doesn't go for the idea, she will at least be wearing a swimsuit :-).

Rusty – great idea – he can ask if she wants sex on the beach and if she looks too shocked can serve her up a cocktail.

Pics to follow please?

hide in the tree outside her house, you know the one, then play "strangers in the night" on a childs xylophone, 100% success rate guaranteed!

People, I am overwhelmed by your support. Also glad some of you have taken the piss – Rohipnochino nearly made me cry with laughter, and the popcorn bucket with the hole in the bottom. Like the Toy Story 3 idea too.

Perhaps I should qualify the situation though.

I did try chatting her up (ineptly) 3 years ago which was when she told me she had a boyfriend at that time.

Her daughter and mine are friends at school (actually I think my daughter is friends with everyone she knows).

Since september '09 I have seen her after the 'Rainbows' club our daughters' attend on a wednesday evening, but have felt like a bit of a stalker trying to initiate conversation.

My daughter has shouted out 'My Dad loves your Mum' in her hearing once or twice, the most recent occasion resulted in a smile between us.

She gets on well with my dear old mum, who helps with my childcare and drops my daughter off at rainbows, as well as seeing the young lady at school.

Also the chats about the Exes is what seems to have broken the ice; I walked into a conversation 2 weeks ago where she was telling my mum that another mother was convinced my ex was drunk a few weeks earlier when she picked my daughter up from school on a friday for her weekend visit.

Can't you get your mum to test the water sneakily? Drop a few hints and report back with the response.

Has he bent one in there yet?

Rohypoccino FTW!

Trust me, it works 8)

Blimey, stop analysing it all and just ask her if she would be interested in doing something together in the future, just you and her, no kids, no cinema (you can't talk to her there), no talk of ex's, just a coffee and chat, it'll eat you up and drive you mad the longer you leave it, nothing to lose everything to gain etc, and if it doesn't work out then at least you'll know … do it next time you see her!

genghis – nothing ventured nothing gained! Ask her if she'd like to meet for a coffee, without kids.

Don't listen to Houns, he's a gym-perv. 😉

Thanks CG, but I've invested a lot of patience (3 years) and I don't want to fall at the final hurdle, so to speak.

To refer to my OP I may be reading too much into a slightly positive situation.

But at the end of the day the girl wants to be loved by someone, yes?

…and if she turns you down, suggest 'just sex instead then?'

and if that doesn't work you'll probably still manage to raise a smile at least 🙂

A few things worry me about this.

Principally, she's been single for 2 years and you haven't asked her out yet!!

You are either
a. Shy
b. Have a fear of rejection
c. Fearful of another bad relationship
d. Gay

She probably thinks
a. you're not interested
b. you are 'damaged' beyong repair
c. Gay

Why has you're Mum not done something?
Is it because
a. She thinks you're not interested
b. She thinks the woman isn't interested
c. She actually doesn't like her, or more probably she's not good enough for you (no-one ever is)
d. She thinks you are gay

For gods sake, it's been 2 years, do something asap and put yourself out of yours and her misery

Nike – Just do it!

i can believe someone suggested getting your mum to ask her!

Too right, she'll let you down more gently.

Fortune favours the brave mon amis. Get involved.

Stop making it complicated!

+1 for Nike…

Just don't let on you've got a Marin…with barends! :wink:.

This is a question for mums-net. However if you asked this on there they would question if you are really a man and if you confirm you are a man you'll be called a barsteward as all men ruin relationships and are uncaring?

😆

Get drunk before you go to the Rainbows to pick up your duaghter and say to her " Here doll, I really fancy you so hows about it??" No???

Either that or MTFU and just ask her to go for a coffee. What have you got to loose.

Only 1 week to go before the school summer hols. Could be a great summer if you ask the lady out; or a frustrating one if you don't.

Which one is it going to be?

Whats it gonna be punk?

You talk about 'falling at the final hurdle' but let's face it, she either likes you or she doesn't.

So ask her out for a coffee. If she says no, then you know she only sees you as a friend and you move on. If she says yes, bazinga!

DO IT!

Whatever you do don't wait 3 years, putting her on a pedestal, and building up something as simple as asking her out into a life consuming massive deal thus making you nervous and rubbish when you try to talk to her….oh wait,

Late to this thread, nothing to add except – this:

Saccades – Member
draw her a smiley face, the ladies love a smiley face!

..made me cry with laughter until I had to tell the rest of the office what I was up to. Thanks Saccades 🙂

Whatever you do don't wait 3 years, putting her on a pedestal, and building up something as simple as asking her out into a life consuming massive deal thus making you nervous and rubbish when you try to talk to her….oh wait,

Hah! +1. They're all women, there's no working everything out in advance, it's just the luck of the draw. I'm all in favour of the 7Ps for somethings in life, but when you're not working to a deadline, planning can become procrastination. Just go for it.

Oh….and what is all this coffee 'new man' bollox. Get her to a pub, or wine bar if you must, and have a drink. Coffee bars are only recommended if you live in Amsterdam 😉

In my experience of situations like this, the woman has had to manage her life, and childrens, independently. She takes the lead on life and doesn't need someone shy and retiring, she will 'notice' you only if you show initiative and suggest something in a positive way and have an alternative option to do something so if she can't do what you first suggest, hit with the next plan, she'll think you're interested in her. If you're flummoxed at her not being able to make your initial invite it won't encourage her to come up with a plan as you may both be feeling awkward. Please don't say,"I'll see you 'round". Be confident and don't delay! Hope it works out 🙂

I haven't waited 3 years to ask her out. I did in the first place, when she had a boyfriend, then I started a new job working days and have hardly been at the school for 2 years 10 months. Only met her at rainbows last october and she has always been a bit arms-length -ish when I say Hi. It is only in the last 2 weeks that she has become chatty. Problem is, I don't think being all over her like a rash is a good way to go. Trying not to blow the chance, if indeed it is a chance.

I'll let you know the result either way.

Good luck!

Reading all that was like watching a meg ryan film, give us a happy ending!

i don't thin k asking her out is "being all over her", stop treating her like a porcelin statue and ask her before she thinks you've turned Gay!

Well? Worrappened?

yeah what ahpopened?

(i realise i've made a big spelling error above with my fingers tripping over themselves on the keys, and i was going to correct it – but i like the word so I've left it there.)